by Kim Cayer
Chapter Eleven
The rut that I’d been spiralling into had to be put on pause. Life got in the way of my burgeoning antipathy. Once again, Shannon unknowingly pulled me out of my funk just by being a daughter who needed her mom.
She called me first thing Monday morning, as I sat outside my car. I was parked in Syntex Park and was seated on a picnic bench under the shade of a tree. It wasn’t even eight a.m. and the temperature must have been close to 100 degrees. I’d just swiped a spider off my leg, the second once since I’d been sitting here, when the phone rang.
“Eww! Yuk! Get off me! Hello!” I said, answering the phone.
“Mom, you okay?” Shannon quickly asked.
“Yeah, there was a big spider on me,” I gasped. “You know how I feel about spiders.” I looked under the picnic table and could see more critters awaiting their turn to frighten me. I booked it out of there. Go to hell, nature. I went back into my sweltering car. “So what’s up?”
“I don’t know where to start, it’s such a busy week,” she began. She was always on the go, so I didn’t see how anything could be different. “First of all, graduation is Thursday, you know.”
She said that as if I did know. I wanted to slap myself for being so wrapped up in my own world that I kept forgetting about my only child and her life. Then, with a further jolt, I knew I’d probably taken a show for the upcoming Thursday. And yes, I did have a gig, a couple actually, but they would both be done by noon. I made sure to scratch out the rest of the day as I continued the conversation.
“Yeah, Thursday,” I replied. “It’s in my book.”
“Will you be there?” she quietly asked.
“Will I be there?” I repeated. “It’s your graduation! I’m your mother! Of course I’ll be there!” And the truth is, even if I had a singing telegram for the Prime Minister of Canada, I would have blown him off for this momentous, though probably boring, event.
“Great!” Shannon sounded more enthused. “It starts at four p.m., and I’ve got you a seat next to Jody’s parents. But I need your help tomorrow, if you’re available?”
Back to my schedule. I had two shows, both in the early part of the day again. “I’m busy ‘til lunchtime. When do you need me? And what for?”
“I’ve been looking at cars, you know,” she said. “Mine is leaking oil all the time and it’s gonna cost too much to fix it. I’ve been saving up for a down payment but I need you to co-sign on a loan for me.”
“You’ve got a car picked out already?”
“Not quite. I’ve narrowed my choices down to two but I want your opinion,” she explained.
“You didn’t take your dad to look at them?”
“No, I took Jody,” she replied. “I talked to the sales guy, I told him what I had for a down payment, and he said it all looked good.” She hesitated, then continued. “I didn’t take Dad cuz…I guess I just didn’t want him to know how much money I’d saved up.”
Could I ever relate.
My days (and nights, since this heat wave began) had been spent finding air-conditioned places to while away the non-working, non-sleeping hours. However, whether in a mall or a coffee shop, I had become so terrified of getting another loitering ticket that I barely sat for the allotted twenty minutes before I went searching for another cool location.
Driving with the air conditioning on in my car was not an option. That ate up my gas consumption at an alarming rate. Driving with windows wide open was also not an option. The only pair of pantyhose I had left with no runs flew out my back window; a newly written telegram blew off my dash in the front. In more ways than one, I felt like I was living in Hell. And there was no fire escape.
I decided to make the upcoming graduation the focal point of my existence. I hoped to present myself that day as a respectable mother of an accomplished student. I wanted to look nice and I wanted to arrive in style. I looked over the interior of my car. Where was the passenger seat? Nothing but costume pieces mixed with take-out food containers. Maybe Shannon would need a ride and this time, I meant to be of some assistance.
From where I sat, I could look across the expanse of the park. It ended at a busy street, and I could see the large yellow sign of a business. It read ‘Mini-Storage’. I didn’t stop to think; I just started up the car and drove on over. It couldn’t hurt to ask a few questions.
Mini-Storage had tiny spaces to rent, from just one day to however long you wanted. I told the clerk I needed it for more than a day, less than a week. Choosing a space about the size of a clothes closet, and as long as I cold vacate by noon on Friday, I was given a special deal on the locker.
“You unload your stuff and lock it up,” she informed me. “Ya got a lock, don’t ya?” I shook my head. “Well, you can buy your own or buy one from us. Up to you.”
I bought one from them, which cost almost as much as the locker rental. A large moving van passed by the window. “He must have a lot of stuff,” I commented. “What did he do, rent a hundred mini-lockers?”
“We got more lockers in the back,” she informed me. “And the whole second floor level is full of storage rooms. Just the main level has the small lockers.” She went on to explain the rules of renting storage space. One rule was that the main gates closed at 11 p.m.; if you had to get into your locker, plan on being there by 11. But you didn’t have to leave at that time, she explained. You could leave whenever you wanted.
I asked to see one of these storage rooms. A soft idea was forming…at the cost of $150 a month, I could possibly sleep in one of these rooms! The storage desk clerk grabbed a battery-operated fan and led the way. Within moments, I kiboshed that idea. There was no air-conditioning in this massive warehouse of storage units; the air was still and dusty and I could barely draw a breath. I gave up on the idea of stretching out fully for one night.
Back in the lot, I drove my car closer to the door that led to my storage locker. I wanted to get some stuff in it immediately. However, what should have been a quick run in and out turned into a whole day’s process. The cramped and disgusting interior of my car underwent a makeover. I completely filled a garbage can that had been totally empty earlier.
That night, after a cold supper of my leftover Sausage McMuffin and the remains of the Wok This Way lunch combo, I motored over to Syntex Park again. From the confines of my car, I watched a baseball game being played out under the lights. The temperature actually dropped to the mid-80s, and I finally felt comfortable in my skin. With the crowd cheering and the sounds of balls being hit, I fell into a deep sleep.
When I awoke, I was the only car left in the parking lot. The baseball lights had been shut down and the place had an abandoned feel to it. My windows were wide open and what caused me to open my eyes and immediately turn the car on was…I thought I heard a giggle. I didn’t care if it was a mutant grasshopper and I didn’t even bother to look. My instincts told me, from past history, to just gun it out of there.
I got back onto Derry Road and glanced at my car’s clock. 10:57 p.m. I was less than a kilometre from my storage locker. I decided to check out their rules and raced to Mini-Storage. At 10:59 p.m., I was sliding my entry card into the slot. The gate magically opened and I shot through.
Once inside the huge lot, I drove around a bit until I found a parking space that suited Suzi. For the next couple hours, I sat in my car, waiting for some security guard to order me out of there. Nothing happened though. It was like I owned the place and could do whatever I wanted. I could even visit my locker, but the thought of wandering around at night deterred me. Instead, I drifted off to sleep.
The next morning, rather than the usual rude awakening I was accustomed to, I was gently roused by a quiet U-Haul unpacking a load of what appeared to be bags of salt. They were so considerate, the two men not speaking as they quickly unloaded their truck. Sure, it was barely six a.m., opening hour, but I had to get up anyways. I had two songs to write and two people to be – Madonna and Marilyn.
On Tuesday, Sh
annon met me at the Mazda dealership right at three p.m. We looked at different vehicles but she was drawn to two in particular. Both were compact cars and I wasn’t pleased at all.
“What’s your problem, Mom?” Shannon asked. “What’s not to like about them? They’re both cheap, both good on gas…”
“It’s hard to say,” I began, “but look at the seat in this one…,” I reached into the red Mazda. “It doesn’t recline all the way.” I pointed to the silver car. “And that one has no trunk space to speak of…”
Shannon gave me an odd look and then said, “Let’s go get a coffee from their machine.”
Free coffee? Free! I trotted off to the beverage machine. Away from the salesman, Shannon came to the point. “You don’t like the cars I picked because they wouldn’t work out well if I had to LIVE IN THEM. That’s it, isn’t it, Mom?”
“Don’t be silly,” I said, in my defence.
“I just need to get to school and to my jobs and to visit Jody,” she said, adding cream and sugar to my cup. “I want a small car. I don’t want to pay a lot. And I love the red car.”
“But the seat…a total recline is vitally important!” I stressed.
“Mom! That’s the last thing I’m worried about in a car!”
I gave in. “Well, it actually is pretty gorgeous. And it looks like a total sports car.” Suddenly an alarming thought jumped into my mind and I ran back to the red Mazda. Sitting in the front seat, I pulled the seatbelt across me and watched where it made its connection. Jealousy momentarily washed over me. Shannon would be getting herself a car with a seatbelt connector deeply recessed beneath the seat. You could barely notice it, it was so unobtrusive.
Stepping out, I said, “Go get the salesman. Let’s make a deal.”
We made them an offer, they came back with their offer, we made a final counter-offer, and were asked to wait while the manager considered it. We were told it could take up to fifteen minutes so Shannon and I both went back onto the showroom floor. I checked out the luxury vehicles and salivated at their roomy interiors. I sat in one, flipped the visor and saw a mirror complete with a row of lights. I turned on the interior lighting and not just the roof dome lit up, but a strip of lights around the door as well. This baby was HOT!
The salesman came back into view, all smiles and holding a thumb up. He waved us back into his office. I was enjoying myself, sitting in the deep plush leather seat, my hands stroking the supple steering wheel. Shannon strongly gestured for me to get out and then followed the salesman. I still didn’t feel like getting out until, through the plate glass window of the showroom, I saw my grimy Suzuki sitting out there amidst the gleaming new vehicles.
Ashamed, I beat a hasty retreat out of the stunning Mazda. She may have been one beautiful babe but somehow, I almost felt like I was cheating on Suzi. Don’t worry, Su, you’re still my one and only!
Besides, you were paid off two years ago.
“Is someone sending you a message, Mom?” Shannon asked, pointing at my car.
I followed her finger to the passenger side of my car, a view I rarely see. Written into the dirt were the words ‘Pig Pen’ and ‘Wash Me’ and ‘Kill Me Now’. The spray-painted word SEEK could barely be seen under all the dust.
I blanched. I spent the previous day completely cleaning out the interior of my car. I’d circled it twenty times and did not see those words, though I thought a dozen times about getting a car wash soon. This morning, I did a Madonna show at eight a.m. One of those ‘grams where Mom thinks it’s funny to have the performer wake up the victim, get his birthday off to a roaring start. Meanwhile, we both know he has morning breath and has to take a leak and wishes he looked more presentable.
I had parked in a wealthy residential area; surely nothing would have happened in those 15 minutes. My Marilyn was to a glass blower who lived in a farmhouse in Fergus. Not another soul but him and his two daughters. Basically, I was with my car the whole time. I saw no one! When…where…could this have been done?
Then that giggle came back to me. Some hooligans, probably teenage pranksters, had written this while I slept in the baseball park. I’m positive they saw me snoring there and still decided to be mischievous. I commend them though for not using a paint can to convey their message, as well as not murdering me.
“It’ll be clean for your graduation,” I managed to squeak out.
“You should see Jody in his brother’s tux!” Shannon exclaimed. “Talk about handsome!”
Blanching became my new tic. “Oh, shit, I totally forgot about that!” Shannon gave me a questioning look. “Your dress? You’re gonna need a dress for grad!”
“Oh, don’t worry about that,” she dismissed it.
“No, you need a dress,” I decided. “I didn’t get you one for prom so I should get you a new one for graduation. Do you have time to go shopping now?”
“I don’t need a new dress,” Shannon stated. “You only wear it once and most of the time, you’re wearing your grad gown over it. Waste of money.”
Money. I was so tired of everything boiling down to money. For once I just wanted to throw caution to the wind and open up my purse strings. “I don’t care. You deserve a new dress. Let’s go shopping.”
“Sorry, Mom, I can’t. I’m almost late for work as it is,” Shannon said, looking at her watch. “But I do appreciate the offer. Have no fear, I’ll be okay. I’m borrowing a dress and I’ll return it just as soon as grad is over.”
For a second high-school event requiring copious amounts of spending, Shannon denied me. I drove to the Esso station located down the road from Mini-Storage. They had a car wash and I ordered the deluxe treatment. I almost didn’t recognize the new-and-improved Suzuki.
I knew where I was sleeping tonight, and every night until my five-day locker rental contract was over. In the safe and sound sanctum of the Mini-Storage compound, it was almost like living in a gated community!
Before heading ‘home’, I killed time at the gigantic Walmart up the road. I didn’t actually need anything; I just wanted to get out of the heat. I entered hot, sticky and sweaty and immediately headed over to the frozen foods aisle. Maybe I spent an hour or two checking out the T.V. dinners and various ice-cream products. In my flip-flops, tank top and sweat pants I’d cut down to shorts, I knew I couldn’t be suspected of shoplifting. My car keys were clipped to my bra strap and I carried nothing else. I guess I wouldn’t be suspected of purchasing anything either.
When Walmart announced they were closing at 10 p.m., I left feeling nice and chilled, like a good bottle of wine. Gee, I couldn’t remember the last time I even had a sip of alcohol? It’s not like I’m a lush but I do like the occasional drink now and then. But now, if I were to have a drink in the privacy of my home, I ran the chance of an open liquor charge.
As soon as I reached my car in the parking lot, I was back to feeling overly warm. I splurged and ran my air conditioning on the three-minute drive back to my storage locker. Arriving an hour before they completely locked their gate, I saw the place was a swarm of activity.
At first I parked in a corner lot, got out and went to my trunk. I had a case of water back there; not a usual purchase but these days, I was drinking two, three bottles an hour. I felt a rare moment of complete bliss, just marvelling at how easily I got to the water. No moving cartons or costumes out of the way – the case of water simply sat there, visible and accessible.
Half my stuff was in the storage locker. Why not all of it? At least until my contract was over. I knew I’d already decided to sleep here the next few days; now I was making this my home base.
Getting back into my car, I drove to the area of my locker and backed into a space. I had to re-arrange my storage bin to fit whatever was left in my car, but I managed to wedge everything in and force the door shut. Something slipped but I slammed the steel door quickly so it wouldn’t completely fall out. A piece of whatever it was – something plastic looking – peeked through the seams of the locked vault. I’d deal w
ith it later.
Glancing at my watch, I saw it was past 11 p.m. and now too late to make a run for the Esso station. I liked to do a good wash-up at night, if only to keep the flies off me. Never mind the luxury of using an actual commode, but I’ve discussed that ad nauseum. A door banged at the end of the hallway where my storage closet was located. I didn’t know I had company.
A man emerged from a room, not even glancing at me as he zipped up his fly and fastened his belt. My eyes widened – oh my God, what was going on in that room?
Curiousity led me to quietly walk closer to that room. It was quiet at that end of the storage warehouse. I could see the door was ajar. Moving like a ninja, I got down low and peeked around the opening.
The shock that greeted me could not be contained. I whooped with glee and jumped high in the air. Then I did it again when I saw I could touch the ceiling of the hallway. A freaking, honest-to-goodness live washroom! Of course there was no bath or shower but the toilet and sink told me I’d be living large the next three days.
I skipped back down the hallway, past my locker and out the door. I stopped for a moment, caught by surprise at how shiny and clean my Suzuki Swift looked. A lone spotlight shone over the storage area, catching Suzi in all her glory, as if she were in a showroom at a car store. Empty of the bins and garbage, she looked good enough to purchase all over again.
I reached onto the floor of my passenger seat, the only spot designated for important stuff. I grabbed my toiletries bag and sped back to that wonderful room at the end of the hallway. Taking the longest sponge bath yet, I must have spent a good thirty minutes in there. Nobody pounded on the door, I had paper, and there was a mirror large enough that I could see my entire face at one time.
Tomorrow was a free day. I planned on spending it on myself, maybe getting a haircut, shopping for a graduation gift for Shannon…oh, the list was endless. Mainly I just wanted to be seen driving around in a clean car.