Torched: A Dark Bad Boy Romance

by Paula Cox

  I have no response for that. Everything she is saying is reasonable and logical. Those guys in suits and ties with briefcases and lunch breaks never did it for me, and I couldn’t care less if the guy I dated had retirement on his mind or money in some portfolio. What was more important was that he let me be me and gave me some sense of adventure every now and then. Riley was the start of that. There was something about Riley that, underneath the jealous, yet tame side, was something dangerously mysterious. I know what that is now. And maybe I saw the same kind of mystery in Mack, but what was the answer to him? How could I know him now that my mother was gone and his name was attached to his death?

  I shake my head back and forth as I lean against the cold brick. Under my breath, I cry, “I can’t do it, Roxy. I can’t. There’s just too much… too much broken there.”

  “Then let him try to fix it. I’ll stay here, outside the restaurant. If you come back within ten minutes, I’ll drive you home myself and fix you up a hot toddy. We’ll drink our sorrows away and watch some horrible Disney princess movie like little girls. I’ll stay the night with you until it’s okay. I promise.”

  Truth be told, I’m too broken down to say no any longer. It’s not that she’s convinced me; it’s that I am simply way too tired to argue this point. The days after my mother’s funeral have drained me, both emotionally and physically. I am in no position to keep this going. I just nod my head and put my eyes down on the ground. It’s better to get this over with now than stand in this alleyway with the stench of restaurant garbage and the few stares of passerbys any longer.

  Roxy takes my hand as she leads me back into the cafe. Instantly, it feels as if at least thirty mouths put down their coffees and thirty eyes track my move from their tables to where Mack stands waiting for me. He practically glows in anticipation while I wilt like a dying flower needing to be watered. Roxy pulls the chair out for me and makes some excuse about needing to take a call outside. We both know it’s a lie, but we politely give her permission to slip out.

  I look over my shoulder, towards the window at the street outside. I bargain with a higher power to let this be over with quickly, but Mack doesn’t exactly open up like a book to me. He leans back in his chair, his hands behind his head, as he studies me cautiously. My heart ticks the silent seconds down with each beat. We both just wait for the other to break.

  His voice catches me off-guard. For whatever reason, it sounds heavier than before, like his voice has carried an unseen weight on it. “I don’t know how to do this, Anna. I’ve never apologized for a thing in my life, but I owe you one. What I did with keeping you in that house knowing your mom was sick… it was just… I don’t…” He struggles to say the words I need to hear until finally, “I’m sorry. I am so sorry, Anna. I know that you could never forgive me for it, and I don’t expect you to, but I just need to lay it out there for you.”

  I bite my tongue, holding back a mountain of anger and resentment that has built itself up inside of me. My stomach turns from the acid of it all. I feel as if I am about to erode or explode at any given moment. “What do you expect me to say to that, Mack? Do you really think I could just… move on?”

  “I don’t want you to move on. I want you to be as fucking angry as you want to be. Like I said, I’m only here because I needed to say it.”

  “So this is a guilt thing? Your conscience weighing on you? And, what, you thought seeing me sitting here, nodding my head, and pretending like everything's okay would somehow absolve you of your shit?”

  “No!” He puts his hands up in defense, rocking back in the chair again. “That’s not it at all. I love you, Anna. Believe it or not, but it’s true today as it was before everything happened. But I’ve never loved anyone else before. I’m not good with this caring for others thing. What took place back at the shop and restaurant was me acting on the pressure to keep you safe. It was a fucking dumb wrong move, but I just wanted you to be safe.”

  Some part in me knows this to be true. I replay those moments of him staring out at the burnt ruins of the shop, him reading the texts flying through his inbox, and him throwing me into the back of the police car without hesitation. He wasn’t himself that night. He was a man in crisis, watching the whole world he built burn to pieces around him. Maybe I’m the one thing he can’t risk?

  Again, I bite my tongue, but this time I’m swallowing back the words that would redeem him. I let out a sigh as I go to grab my purse. I’ve had enough of this. I’m taking my out that Roxy promised me in exchange for hearing him out. But as I turn to go, I feel his grip around my wrist. It’s the kind of touch that sends shivers down the spine. There’s a familiarity behind it that’s impossible to ignore.

  “This is the last time I’ll talk to you, but if you care about me, come to the shop tonight and see what I’ve done. I’ll wait all night for you, if that’s what it takes. If you’re not there by midnight, I’ll leave you alone for good. I promise.”

  I don’t answer him. I head straight out the door into a waiting Roxy who can barely hide the disappointment on her face. “You owe me a princess movie and some drinks, girl.” I spot her car in the parking lot and head there without looking back. I can’t bear to see him or Roxy when I’m like this.

  I spend the rest of the afternoon nursing a vodka cranberry with a blanket tucked over my shoulders. Roxy sits beside me, letting me rest my legs on her lap. Every hour or so, she tugs the blanket down and looks over me as if I’ll change my mind with her prompting, but I’m firm in my spot. I’m not going anywhere, especially not to the place where my relationship burned to cinders.

  I fall asleep soon after. My dreams play out just like the movies, with me riding off into a black and white sunset with a man on a motorcycle. I half expect to see me clinging to Mack, but then I start to notice how my arms flail for the passengers we pass and I shout without sound for help. It’s not Mack taking me away from the city lights, it’s Riley. His motorcycle speeds off even faster, this time being chased by someone else on a white and cream bike.

  The person pulls up to us. Only inches away, I smell something familiar over the dust and grime of the road. Peppermint. “Mom?” I lip towards the person with the helmet. She removes the visor, revealing a face from at least fifteen years ago, the kind of version you remember from a favorite photo.

  Over the noise of the two engines jamming into one another, I hear her say, “Jump, Anna.” I ask her over and over again what she means, but there’s no explanation. Just, “Jump, Anna.” Finally, I see it—a broken, incomplete bridge coming up from the horizon. Part of me knows that Riley won’t slow or pull off. He’s too focused on getting me away as fast as he can. My mom steers to the side with seconds to spare as I hear her scream again, “Jump!”

  My body falls back to where it was on the couch. I jolt myself awake to a dark room. Roxy’s long gone, the TV is black as the night sky out my apartment window. Before I can think, I run towards the door, grabbing my shoes and the sweatshirt. A cab spots me down the way and picks me up. When I give him the address, he turns back towards me and asks, “Are you sure? This time of night?”

  The city of Portland unfolds as we drive the few miles to the shop. My heart seems to beat outside its chest with every stop light. It’s just enough time to go over everything I want to say to Mack. I want him back. He was right when he admitted that he wasn’t thinking about anything but my safety. He wanted to hide me away, but the only way I can ever be secure was if I’m with him. While I can’t ignore my mom, I also can’t push away her want for me to be with someone like him, someone who made me feel alive each and every day. For that, it’s worth all the risk to be with him. For my mom, I will finally find happiness with a man who can truly take care of me.

  I can’t jump out of the car fast enough when it stops right in front of an unfamiliar building site. A few floodlights point towards the new building with its empty rooms and newly installed windows. The restaurant’s front is painted an emerald green while the tatto
o shop is an old school red and gray brick. Swinging from over the door is a sign reading, “Anna’s Crazy 9 Tattoo Shop.” It’s painted in bold red letters as if I had tattooed it myself.

  I don’t see him when I’m staring up like this. The man practically falls on me, calling my name. “What the fuck are you doing here, Anna?” I look up at a ghost, a man I expected to never again see in my life. I back myself up into the corner of the new building, away from his grasp.

  “Zeke? I thought you were… you were…” No matter how hard I try, I just can’t get the word dead out of my dry mouth. He peers back down at me, a small grin on his face as his arms open up. Another shadow appears behind him. My finger reaches up to point it out, but it’s too late. Mack slams into him, and the two tumble to the ground with a slap.

  And I’m left watching the man I should love wrestle with the man we left behind for dead.

  CHAPTER 23

  “Mack!” Anna shouts above us, her hands pulling me away from the chaos, “It’s Zeke!” I have only seconds to process what she’s saying before I see it. It’s him. He’s barely moving with his arms clutched around his side, but it’s definitely him.

  “What the hell, man?” I say, completely befuddled. “What are you—how are you—” I kneel down beside him, wrapping my arm underneath his to hoist him up. He lets out a terrible grunt of pain. Something warm trickles between the two of us. I look down to see blood from a bullet wound seeping from his chest onto my flannel shirt. The smell catches me next—infected flesh. Zeke may be alive, but it won’t be for long like this.

  “Anna,” I say in a low tone. I turn back towards her, but she’s already running towards headquarters, her arms flailing for attention. I scream, “Tell them to call the doctor! He needs help!” I look down at my best friend, his face still that strange dusty purple it was when we left him on the floor of the Knights headquarters. His lips are covered in dry blood, his cheeks sunken and dry, but there’s a light that flickers impossibly in his pale gray eyes.

  I take off running after Anna. I move as fast as I can on the slick sidewalk while still cradling him in my arms. The whole sprint, I lay out everything that I need to say before it’s too late again, “I’m sorry, Zeke. I am so sorry. We shouldn’t have left you back there. We should have come back for you.” It’s a day of firsts—two apologies in one.

  As we reach the door to the building, he takes my hand and pulls it into him. I place him gently on a blanket someone has brought from the stockroom. The men gather around as Anna sits so that his head can lay across her lap. I lean down to whisper as he says to me, “Don’t apologize, Mack. You did what you had to do to survive. I’m not going to be pissed about that.” He takes a deep breath in, his eyes darting from guy to guy. “Damn. It’s good to be back here. I thought I was going to die in that shit hole they kept me in.”

  “Why did they let you go?” one of my men asks while the others shush him back down. I agree that we need to let Zeke rest if he is going to have any chance of getting out of here, but the truth of it is that those swollen, festering bullet holes have the look of death on them. Wasting time could ruin just about any chance we can get at some real answers.

  “They kept me around, bandaged me up, made me take some strong shit for the pain. They tried to beat out answers from me, but they were pretty disappointed with the results.” He shifts slightly, showing his battered face to the light. Anna gasps, placing her tiny hand to his jawline and around the broken bridge of his nose. He winces but then relaxes to her touch.

  “Then tonight,” he continues, a little more out of breath the more he speaks, “Riley had his guys stop giving me the drugs. He told me he wanted me to go find you guys to give Mack a message. So I had him drop me off about two miles from here. I walked for a good hour before I found this place. I think he’d figure I’d either die before I got here or I’d die as soon as I got a foot in the door.” He smiles slightly as he says, “I guess I’m proving him wrong.”

  “You hang in there, brother. The doctor is on his way. We’ll get you to a hospital if we need to,” Larry, my temporary Second, offers.

  “Don’t bother with me. I’m only good at relaying some information.” He sighs heavily as he reaches across his chest and pulls out a piece of paper stained with his blood. “This one’s for Mack. I didn’t get to read it. My eyes haven’t been working that well in a few days.”

  I peel open the paper and struggle read the message scrolled in some weird mix of cursive and print. Anna takes my hand and slips out the paper as she says, “He can’t write for shit. Let me look at it, and I can translate.” She smiles slightly at our touch. I still really haven’t registered that she’s actually here. She came despite everything that happened in that cafe. There’s hope.

  “Mack,” she reads out loud to the men gathered around her as if it were story time at Dragon’s headquarters, “This is a truce. I will hold truce as long as you stay the fuck away from my girl. Break it, and we will be back at war.—Riley, President and CEO of the Knights.” She places the paper down on her lap, just to the side of Zeke. Both of them, and the rest of my guys, turn towards me.

  “What does this mean?” a faceless voice asks tiredly. “Are we done?” Another person shouts, “What about her? If we’re trying to stop the killing, she’s risking everyone’s life by being here.” The group turns quickly with each murmuring about how dangerous it is having Anna here. Even Anna herself seems to be uncomfortable with where she is. She shifts slightly, moving Zeke’s head off her legs. I watch her attempt to stand, but there’s nowhere for her to go. Everyone waits for me to say something.

  “No!” I growl as loudly as I can. The room grows cold and still. Not a soul dares to move a muscle. I stand up, offering my hand to Anna. “If Riley thinks he can just call a truce after what he did to this club, to our property, to Zeke, he’s got shit for brains. We’re Dragons. We don’t just forgive and forget because someone says we should. We get our fucking revenge!” The men shout loudly, their arms raised to the sky in defiance.

  “Mack…” Anna cries towards me as the room continues to erupt in support. “It’s done. Just let me go back home, and you guys can be free. You won’t lose another guy or have to worry about your territory.” Her eyes slightly swell as she blinks frantically, attempting to hold back tears. She brushes away long strands of frazzled blonde hair that have stuck to her pink, frosty cheeks.

  “If you think I’m going to let him come after you, you’re wrong. The only reason why he is calling truce is because he knows where you are, who you are with, and that you don’t have my protection anymore. You’re the sacrificial lamb here, and I ‘m not giving you up to be slaughtered by him.”

  “But what if that’s not what he wants!” Anna shouts, holding onto my arm as she rises to her feet. “I know Riley. We dated for years. He loved me. He probably still does or he wouldn’t be risking his club to come after you all like this. Maybe this wasn’t about killing me all along. Maybe that tattoo thing was meant to scare me back to him or to get his revenge on me for calling the cops and taking off like I did. If I have to go back to him to save you, I will do that. I will!”

  “Anna,” I sigh, “I’m not going to let you do that. Even if he did just want you back, I wouldn’t be able to stand the thought of you being his bitch. You think that after all that we did to him, what you did to him, that he’s going to treat you right? We both know that you’re walking to your death if you head back to him now without me to follow you.”

  “What do you mean?” Anna asks.

  Zeke sits up slightly, staring up at us as he says, “Now that’s fucking brilliant, Mack.”

  “I… I don’t understand…” Anna struggles to keep up, but the wheels are already turning and I kneel back down to Zeke to pepper him with questions about Riley, his men, and any other information he can provide me with.

  Zeke looks almost revitalized as he answers them one by one, finally saying, “They’re pretty depleted, and there
’s talk. But I think you know that. If you went in tonight, you’d have a good chance of catching him when his guard is down and the patches are off. And there’s the hotel on 80th street—the Jade. We could use that. They owe us a favor for the job on Highland.”

  Anna looks down at us as if we’re speaking in tongues. “Please, can you just tell me what you’re planning so I can say no to it?”

  “We’re going to use you as bait again,” I say, forcing myself not to look at her. “You tell him that you want to meet him, and we sweep in and get him. We end this thing once and for all, for both of us.”

  “It’s not as easy as that, Mack!” Anna cries out to me, her hands to her face in a near panic.

  “I know that. But if we keep letting Riley rule our lives, we’ll never be able to be together. That building I built out there is all for nothing. And what’s to say that his word is good?” I pick up the note, holding it before her. “This fucking note could be nothing but a way to get our guard down. I’m not going to take it, Anna. This ends tonight.”