In the Eyes of Love

by Sheri Livingston

Their dinner was spent in unpleasant quietness. Morgan couldn’t think of a single conversation to share with Dawn who continued to slide closer to her in the booth, trapping her against the wooden back. Her eyes never veered from a shapely ass that would pass their table. It made Morgan sick to watch her. She loved not caring. It gave her more freedom to be emotionless to Dawn’s ravishing stares on other women.

  “Can I go home with you?” Dawn whispered to her, staring at a woman’s ass stepping past the table.

  “No.”

  Morgan felt nothing. She hated this feeling of numbness taking over, yet she didn’t falter. She was determined to keep up with the cold person she could feel herself becoming. She was going against all the advice of her loving friends by just sitting in a restaurant with Dawn. What would they think of her right now? Jay would whistle steam from his ears. Phil would shake his head in disgust and Rachel, oh, Rachel, would give her the somber “I can’t believe you’re doing this to yourself” look.

  Screw them!

  They left the restaurant. Several times on the ride home, Morgan had to shove Dawn’s hands away.

  Dawn’s car rounded the corner in front of Morgan’s apartment building. Rachel was standing on the curb with Jay. Their gazes turned toward the car, a disgusted look plastered on their faces while they watched Morgan exit the car.

  “See you.” Dawn yelled from her open window, more for show to Rachel and Jay, than to Morgan.

  Morgan nodded and dared a look back at the sidewalk. Rachel’s look, a look that Morgan knew would be there, was etched perfectly on her face.

  Jay’s jaw tightened. “What the hell are you doing, Morgan? What is it about that scum you find so damn appealing?”

  Morgan stared at him, hating that she was hurting him. “Ask Rachel. She’s good at retelling stories and butting into people’s business.”

  Morgan shoved past them and raced up the stairs to her apartment.

  ———

  Shane redialed Morgan’s number again, still getting the voice mail. After her conversation with Rachel, she knew she was the reason for Morgan’s bitter words. If she had only listened to what Morgan had to say, she could have been able to see through it, instead of assuming. If she’d only let Morgan walk out that door instead of making love to her, things might have been different. Now she’d hurt Morgan further.

  She pushed the edge of her palm against her head, gritting her teeth. “Stupid ass” She screamed at herself then pushed away from her desk, carrying the cordless with her.

  Darkness filled the air outside the gallery. Neon lights from the city buildings brightened the streets. Shane stood at the door, watching cars travel with ease down the streets. She knew she should just go home, attempt to find Morgan tomorrow, when things were calmer, yet being here, among her dreams, kept her from driving herself crazy.

  The phone rang in her hand.

  “Hello?” She yelled into the phone.

  There was a pause before Rachel’s shaky voice started. “I thought I should let you know that Morgan was out with Dawn tonight. I’m so sorry, Shane.”

  Shane felt her heart plummet out of her chest. With Rachel’s cold words, it was over; the end before the beginning. She heard Rachel sniffle into the phone, felt her own tears threaten.

  “I’m sorry that I said those mean things to you.”

  Shane pulled the phone from her ear. There was nothing left to say and nothing left to hear. She pushed the button and let the phone slip from her grasp, landing with a thud on the carpet.

  The words she knew she would hear hurt more than she realized they would. How did she get herself into this? How could she have allowed herself to fall in love so damn fast? She remembered seeing the sad Morgan leaning her precious face against that window, looking helplessly through glass, her eyes begging for something, anything, to take away her heartache. Shane had wanted nothing more than to draw Morgan a perfect life. Now she would never get a chance. What she feared the most was before her now. It was time to deal with it.

  Shane pushed away from the door, her heart completely numb. She knew what she had to do, and it was time to get busy.

  She walked down the hall toward the closet and pulled a tall box from inside. She made her way back to her office. The easel faced the window, always away from anyone who might see it from her open door. No other eyes had seen the beauty beneath the sheet. She pulled the sheet over the frame and felt her breath catch. “I miss you already. Goodbye, Morgan” Shane said to her framed beauty. She dropped the sheet on the floor, tightened her jaw, and carried the frame to lobby. She placed it gently in the box.

  She hoped she could close her heart as easily as closing the box had been. She knew this was going to be more torture than she could imagine.

  She carried the box back to the closet and closed the door. She walked back to the counter and picked up the phone. She took a good long look around her. This would be the last time she looked at it through hazed eyes. The next time she entered this room, her life would be changed.

  She dialed the number, heard the familiar voice answer on the other end and choked back a sob.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Shane stepped through the sliding doors of the airport. People rushed past her, pulling their rolling luggage bags. She searched the signs for the terminal that would carry her out of this town.

  She found the sign and with reluctance, headed in its direction.

  Not long after, she walked down the long hallway that led her to the plane. A flight attendant escorted her to a seat. Shane placed her carry-on bag into the compartment above her seat and sat down to wait. Faces floated past her, finding their own seats. She stared out the window and watched men in uniforms hustle about the plane, making last minute inspections. Soon the plane was in the air carrying her away. She watched the cars shrink to matchbox size and turned her attention to the people around her, strangers, heading in the same direction.

  Her thoughts drifted to Morgan. Shane hoped she’d find peace in the decision she’d made to take Dawn back. Shane prayed Dawn would change and make Morgan happy — something she doubted, but stranger things had happened. She knew Dawn’s type. Always taking, never giving in return, and only thinking of themselves.

  Shane closed her eyes and let the vision of Morgan’s face sink into her mind. How had she let herself fall in love with her? She knew from the second she laid eyes on her that she was filled with sorrow. Hadn’t Shane done all she could to steer clear of women like Morgan? Why was this one different from the rest? How in the hell had she let Morgan into her heart so fast? Why couldn’t she cease all thoughts of her?

  Through her memory, she felt Morgan’s thin fingers gliding along her face, through her hair, between her legs. Shane forced her eyes open and found a tiny pair of blue ones looking back at her. She smiled at the little girl staring at her around the edge of the seat in front of her.

  “Are you sad?” the little girl asked in a sweet voice.

  “A little bit. But not for long.”

  The little girl’s face brightened with a smile, showing tiny little teeth. Her blonde curls fell around her face while she inched further around the chair. “Want to color in my book with me?”

  “Sure” Shane watched her turn to someone beside her then jump down from her seat.

  She sat at Shane’s feet, and spread crayons across her book then looked up at Shane. “What’s your favorite color?”

  Blonde, Shane thought, but said, “Blue.” The color of her mood.

  “Pink is mine. You can use them both if you want.” The little girl stood and handed the book and crayons to Shane. She fingered through the book until she found one she liked then turned the book around. “This is one you can color. See, that woman is alone, just like you.” The little girl smiled again, sending a chill down Shane’s spine.

  Yep, all alone she was. “Thank you. Aren’t you going to help me?” Shane asked.

  “Sure.” Her face brightened with Shane’s invitatio
n. “Why are you sad?” The girl asked while she stared down at the book, concentrating hard on staying in the lines and tucked a lock of curl behind her ear.

  “Oh, I don’t know. I’m not now that you’re here letting me color in your book.” Shane hoped to dodge curious questions she knew children could ask. “How old are you?”

  “I’m seven and a half. My mom says I can’t talk to strangers but she let me talk to you because you are not a stranger on the plane.” She pulled another crayon from Shane’s lap and started another part of the picture.

  “Your mom loves you and doesn’t want a stranger to take you away from her. Some people are bad. You have to be careful and do what your mommy tells you.”

  Shane felt sadness wash over her. She’d always wanted to share children with someone who would be there for the rest of their lives. Shelby hadn’t been that person. She knew within a few years of their relationship that Shelby was not mother material, yet she loved her anyway and vowed to spend the rest of their lives together.

  She pushed all thoughts from her mind and concentrated on helping the little girl. The rest of the plane ride was spent coloring pictures and listening to her stories about school and classmates.

  When the plane landed, the little girl and her mother walked behind Shane down the unloading ramp. She shocked Shane by giving a tight hug after her mother removed their bags from the circular belt. “I hope you get happy real soon.”

  Shane leaned down and ruffled her hair. “I will. I promise.” She gave her a wink.

  Shane removed her bags from the belt and turned toward the hustle of the airport lobby. She searched for a familiar face.

  “Shane. Shane!” Her sister screamed from the lobby. She jumped up from the chain of chairs and ran toward Shane.

  Shane dropped her bags by her side and waited for the collision. Teresa jumped into her arms, still too skinny, hair much longer than the last time she’d seen her.

  “When are you going to get some meat on these bones, girl?” Shane asked, pushing Teresa away to get a good look at her, realizing how much she had missed her pain-in-the-ass sister.

  Shane would never forget the day her mother had come home from the doctor to announce she was having a baby. Her father had only stared at her from his recliner. Shane had feared he would faint. She’d dreaded more than anything the day they brought home the tiny, shitting, “dear God, someone make it shut up” baby. Teresa had cried for the first six months of her life, leaving the whole household miserable from lack of sleep. With eleven years separating them, Shane never dreamed this incredible bond would develop.

  “Models don’t have fat on their bodies, Shane. Get over it. I’m still healthy, and I don’t make myself throw up or anything gross like that.”

  Teresa bounced in front of her. “And look at you. Wow. When did you get so buff?” She held Shane’s shoulders in her grasp, looking her over from head to toe. “Artist’s aren’t supposed to look like this are they?”

  “Like you would know what artists are supposed to look like?” Shane gave her a knowing smile since her “crew” looked like they’d stepped off the cover of a magazine, and no one looked outside the rectangular box. “Besides, being bored does that to a person. It was either the gym or gain a hundred pounds. The gym won.” She gave a shrug and smiled.

  They headed out of the airport and into the parking garage. Her sister stopped short of her car. “So? Are you going to tell me what brought you back here? I thought this was forbidden territory.”

  Shane cringed and turned to stare at her. “It’s time to face it, Tee. That’s all.”

  “Bullshit. You’ve faced it. It’s over. When are you going to get past this? It wasn’t your fucking fault.” Shane turned toward the car and dropped her bags. Teresa followed with a sigh. “Who is she?”

  Shane turned, shocked, and met a mirror image of her own green eyes. “What do you mean?”

  “This woman, who is she?” A smile spread across Teresa’s face.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Shane jerked open the door and started tossing her bags inside.

  “Oh. Okay. I get it.” Teresa backed up and started around the back of the car. “Well, Morgan sounds like a hottie.”

  Shane’s breath caught inside her chest at the mention of Morgan’s name. “How the hell did you hear about Morgan?”

  “Duh! Do you think Scott could keep something like that to himself? He called Evan within an hour of your lunch date. And then of course, Evan called little ole me.” Teresa smiled a wicked grin, pulled open her door and eased inside, leaving Shane to stare. “You comin’ or what?”

  Shane made a mental note to fire Scott. Smiling and shaking her head, she ducked into the front seat.

  The flat desert and humid air welcomed Shane home. The same bumper-to-bumper traffic escorted them down the city streets of Palm Springs. Palm trees lined the streets, whipping their tentacles in the wind. Skateboarders maneuvered along the sidewalks doing their stunts.

  They eased along with the traffic and Shane thought of Shelby. What would their lives be like now had she lived? Would Shane have ever forgiven her for the betrayal of their love? Would Shelby still be with her new lover, leaving Shane all alone? Would Shane have found another, and forgotten all about Shelby? The answers however, were buried along with Shelby.

  Shane’s old neighborhood came into view. Her mother would be waiting with hugs and bright pink kisses. She’d ask a thousand questions about Shane’s supposedly new love, assuming Teresa or Evan had shared the information, knowing they would have. Shane hated she would have to tell her mother she was still a bachelorette.

  Teresa pulled into the driveway and her mother squealed from the long porch. She ran across the perfect green grass. Her attempt to hold onto her youth showed with her wardrobe complete with hip-hugger jeans and tight fitting T-shirt bearing the logo “It’s cute how you think I’m listening.” Shane realized how much she missed her mother’s liveliness, yet dreaded answering questions she wasn’t ready to discuss. Her mother had tried relentlessly to help Shane shed the pain she’d carried inside herself over Shelby. She’d cried like a baby when Shane made the final decision to leave this place full of memories to head across the map for a new life of loneliness.

  Shane inched out of the car and braced herself for her mother’s hug. With Shane taking after her father, tall and broad shouldered, she was capable of lifting her mother off her feet with their embrace.

  “Jesus! Look at you. You look so much like your father, rest his soul, it makes me want to cry. God, it’s only been two years.” She pinched her cheeks like a child, smiling bright. Her looped earrings dangled by her neck, making her look younger than her fifty-seven years.

  “Hi, Mom.” She smiled knowing questions were brewing in the back of her mother’s mind.

  Her mother’s gaze moved to Teresa. “Tee, take her bags to her old room.” Her gaze moved back to Shane. “I’m so happy you’re here. How long are you staying?”

  “I don’t know.” Shane turned, not ready to confess her reasons for being back, and helped Teresa drag her bags from the car.

  “Uncle Nikki’s coming tonight for dinner and a few others might be stopping by,” her mother said from behind her, happiness etched into every word.

  Shane smiled, knowing the house would be full of relatives within the hour. Maybe being back among people that she loved and cherished would help lift her spirits.

  An hour later the first of Shane’s family started filling the house. Her mother hustled about the apple adorned kitchen, clearly preparing for an army. Laughter and spices filled the room while more people filed into the house, making Shane feel an empty place in her heart fill. She missed the loud hustle and bustle of large families.

  “Shane!” Teresa screamed from the living room.

  Shane lifted off the stool and made her way toward to the living room. “This is my boyfriend, Daniel.” Teresa beamed.

  Shane stuck her hand out.
A strong shake greeted her. She liked him already. Anyone that could tame the brat in her baby sister would be warmly welcomed into their family.

  “It’s nice to meet you,” Daniel said, moving his gaze back to Teresa, adoration snug in their depths.

  “Nice to meet you, too.”

  Another face filled the doorframe behind Daniel. Shane smiled. A fist gripped her stomach and tears threatened. Her best friend smiled back at her. Shane inched around Daniel and Teresa and opened her arms for Kelly.

  Kelly all but jumped into her open arms, hugging tight to her.

  “Damn, you look great, Shane.” Kelly leaned back to stare up at Shane with small blue eyes. “Atlanta is treating you nice, huh? How the hell have you been? Forget my number?” Kelly gave a pained look then smiled, showing dimples in her round face. That beaconed smile told Shane she was forgiven for shutting Kelly out for so long.

  Shane shrugged, taking in Kelly’s new spiked hair style. “Business is going great. I just opened a gallery and will have my very own page in Strut next month. Life’s great.”

  “Uh huh.” Kelly responded giving Shane a knowing look, then turned her attention to Daniel’s broad shoulders. She walked around to the front of him, eyeing him with curiosity. “And who is this man drooling all over your way too damn skinny sister?”

  “I am not too skinny.” Teresa pouted at Kelly. “This is Daniel, my boyfriend.” Teresa beamed from ear to ear while she stared at her new handsome beau. Her green eyes glistened with affection.

  Dinner and conversation soon started. Shane hustled from face to face, giving hugs, chatting about life and jobs, making her ache for love and companionship.

  When people started to thin out, Kelly grabbed her and pulled her onto the front porch. “Let’s get out of here. We have some catching up to do. I also have someone I want you to meet.”

  ———

  Morgan ducked down the hall, thankful that she’d been able to avoid Rachel for the better part of the day, especially the long day they had had today. Overtime was rare for them, but today Sandra had met them bright and early and made it clear no one was leaving the building until she had printouts on her desk and all deadlines had been met. Even though Morgan and Rachel weren’t involved with that part of the project, they knew better than to ask if they could leave.