In the Eyes of Love

by Sheri Livingston

  Her finger lingered over the play button. She punched the delete button before she could change her mind, erasing all unknown messages. Not wanting to sit at home alone, she grabbed her purse and headed out the door.

  She crept past Jay’s door, rushed through the lobby doors, and jumped in her car.

  Rachel’s face loomed before her, hurt and confused. She hated the harsh words she’d said to her. She was sick and tired of being so miserable that she’d fired off her anger at her best friend. But, did she deserve it? Wasn’t it her who conned Shane into coming out with them. Wasn’t Rachel the real reason she walked out that door with Shane, wanting and needing her approval. Wasn’t Rachel the one that talked her into going to the gallery, leading her to another embarrassing moment, even if hot sex came before it?

  She let the questions roll around her head while lights blurred past her. And what about Shane? What kind of game was she playing? She remembered the look of disappointment on her face the morning after, feeling love course through her with every caressing touch then the look of hatred in her eyes as she told Morgan their meeting was over.

  “Meeting?!” Morgan screamed to herself in the empty cabin of the car. “Fuck! She’s no different than Dawn. At least I didn’t get my heart wrapped up in it before she showed her true colors.”

  Morgan knew that was a lie, too. She knew her heart had already gotten involved, no matter how much she’d tried to spare it. She knew what she felt for Shane was genuine.

  Morgan leaned against the window, propping her head in her hand. “I’m just as fucked up as both of them.”

  She drove into the parking lot of Burger Queen, ordered her usual greasy hamburger, and then tore open the wrapper before she’d even left the parking lot.

  While munching on the burger, Phil and Jay stole the thoughts from her mind. They were her friends, only wanting the best for her. And Rachel, she was no different. How could she treat her friends with so little respect when they’d been there through the thick and thin of her depression? And, how could she possibly make up for the harsh things she’d said to all of them?

  She pushed the last bite of burger into her mouth, turned the car into a convenience store, and made her way inside.

  After scouring the alcoholic beverage section, she found Phil and Jay’s favorite beer, Corona, paid for it, and left the store.

  She arrived at her apartment, stalled outside Jay’s door, desperately wanting to join in a long night of TV shows with her beloved friends. Would they forgive and forget?

  Before she could knock, their door creaked open. Phil stood in the opening, a knowing look on his face. Morgan’s eyes overflowed with tears as she held out the beers. Phil’s arms opened and Morgan slid into them.

  “It’s okay, baby.” He stroked her hair, rocking her gently. “You know we love you.”

  She shook her head, swiping tears from her face, and slid from his grasp. He pushed open the door and took the six-pack from her and then she walked through to find Jay lying on the couch, his eyes turning, taking on a hard stare as he saw her.

  “Jay, I’m sorry for what I said to you.” His stare turned soft. He smiled at her then patted the couch. She crossed the space and fell on the couch beside him, taking the warm place that Phil had occupied before she yanked him away from his lounging.

  She spooned in beside him, knowing that all was forgiven. Phil sank onto the end of the couch, taking their feet into his lap, patting them gently. They spent the next hours laughing at their favorite TV shows, munching on Phil’s homemade chocolate chip cookies, chunking popcorn into each other’s mouths.

  No one asked her what had happened. They didn’t have to. They just knew.

  ———

  Shane awoke to her mother jerking the curtains open. She grunted and turned toward the wall of her old bedroom. “Mom!”

  “It’s time to get your lazy ass out of that bed.”

  Shane ignored her, hoping she would go away.

  “Come on. Get up. We have lots to do today.”

  “Like what?”

  “Things. Get up!”

  Shane grumbled and slid from under the covers, letting her feet feel for the floor. She’d had way too much to drink last night. While telling Kelly all about Morgan and the way she’d treated her before she fled the gallery in tears, she’d drunk beer after beer, thankful by the tenth, that Kelly was the designated driver.

  She eased up on the edge of the bed while her mother slammed the door shut. She grimaced and pushed her palms to her ears, trying to quiet the echo it left.

  “Jeez, Ma!”

  An hour later, and a long hot shower to boot, Shane made her way down the hallway she’d crept down a million times in her life. She found her mother sitting at the food bar, coffee mug steaming from her lips.

  Shane walked into the kitchen and poured herself a cup, spooned sugar into it, and turned back to look at her mother over the bar.

  “So, what is so demanding that it couldn’t wait for me to sleep a while longer?”

  Eyebrows rose over the rim of a mug. Her mother pointed a single finger toward the front door. Shane followed the finger and saw her box, filled with Shelby’s pictures, sitting by the front door.

  “Where the hell did you get that?” Shane felt her breath catch, anger that her mother would go through her things surfaced.

  “I was putting fresh sheets on the bed for you.”

  “And?”

  “Well, I wanted to see what was in the box. Those pictures could only mean one thing.”

  Shane stared at her. The bangle bracelets on her arm clinked each time she lifted the mug to her mouth. Her hair was pulled loosely at the back of her head, making her look so young.

  “You didn’t have any right to go through my things.”

  “Oh, chill out. It’s not like you’re sixteen again and I’m looking for a stash of pot. I merely wanted to know what was in the box.”

  “Mom!”

  “Fine. Sue me for snooping.” She lifted from the stool, walked around to the kitchen and started pulling boxes from the freezer. “I’m just excited, is all. I knew there was more to your visit than you’d say.”

  Within minutes, a breakfast burrito was being served hot and fresh from the microwave. Shane ate while her mother jabbered about her bridge club and the hot man at the gym.

  “I thought about inviting him to join me in the Jacuzzi, but didn’t want to be too forward.” Shane almost choked on the food in her mouth. “Would that have been too forward?”

  “Ma! Damn. Too much information.”

  “Oh, come on. You act like I’m old and withered. I’m in the prime of my life. Sex is a healthy thing you know? Keeps the blood flowing.”

  Shane shook her head, tossing the last bite of food into her mouth and turned to look at her mother.

  “So, you met this man at the gym, considered screwing him right there in the Jacuzzi. Did you happen to think about protection? That healthy sex can be not so healthy if you get it from the wrong person.”

  Her mother laughed and slapped her hand down on the table, sending the bangle bracelets clinking hard on her wrist. “Who’d have ever thought I’d be sitting here with my daughter, with her telling me to use protection.” She stood up from the stool, still giggling and dropped her empty mug into the sink. She took another look at Shane, still watching her with confusion then laughed again while she made her way to her bedroom.

  Shane stared at the closed door. “I wasn’t kidding!”

  She waited for her to come back and finish the conversation. When long minutes went by, she knew her mother had left so Shane could get on with what she knew she had to do. Bury Shelby.

  An hour later, Shane pulled into the cemetery. She followed the long drive that wound through the tombstones; each bearing the name of someone’s loved one.

  She found Shelby’s grave with ease. A spot on the grassy hill she could find in a drunken stupor and her eyes closed, a state of mind she’d been in more
than a hundred times while visiting her buried lover. She’d spent many nights curled into a ball, never wanting to leave where she knew the love of her life rested beneath the ground. She’d cried herself to sleep night after night with granite as her pillow.

  She walked toward the grave, sorrow gripping her heart like a fist. She stared down at Shelby’s name engraved on the marble, tears spilling from her eyes. She knelt down and wiped dried leaves from the base, leaning further to sit Indian style before the love of her life.

  “Hello, Shelby.” Shane began, tears gushing, heart wrenched. “I’ve missed you. I’m so sorry for what happened to you. I’m sorry that you didn’t love me and even more sorry that it took me so long to figure it out. I know it now, and I can’t keep blaming myself for what happened.” Shane choked out another sob. “It wasn’t my fault.”

  Shane’s fingers caressed the marble, pouring her heart out to thin air “I met someone that makes me feel the way I felt when I was with you. I love her, and it’s time to let you go, even though she doesn’t love me.”

  Shane looked around her. Trees hung their limbs while her heart poured out to their ears. Wind blew through their leaves, across her face, caressing her with gentle fingers. “I’ll always love you, but it’s time to go on with my life. I’ll never forget what we had, no matter how hard it was sometimes. I know you loved me in your own special way. I just wasn’t enough for you.”

  Shane looked back at Shelby’s name and felt weight lift from her shoulders. “Please forgive me for loving you too much. I’ll never forget you, Shelby.”

  Shane rose. She stared around her at the brightness of the day. Honeysuckle wafted under her nose. Rays spread their warm fingers over her. She left the weight from her shoulders on the ground at Shelby’s grave, and walked away. A smile lifted the corners of her mouth. She knew she was going to be all right, no matter what the future held.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Friday crept up too fast for Morgan. She dreaded her date with the gorgeous Matt. She hadn’t been on a date with a man since high school, even though this favor didn’t constitute a date. She’d told Jay how Matt’s perfect body had strode into her office, how he resembled the models from the front cover of a magazine, leaving Jay to drool over her description. He’d jokingly offered a hundred times to take her place with raised eyebrows from Phil, who’d refused to go, saying football was for pansies.

  But more than she dreaded the non-date, she dreaded seeing Shane again. Scott had said they would be there. Would she be with a date of her own? How would she feel about that if she did?

  Morgan was happy she and Rachel were speaking again. She’d approached Rachel the morning after watching movies with the guys, knowing Rachel would greet her with open arms, forgetting the harsh words Morgan had hurled at her. She told Rachel about her date with Dawn, how she felt a void where she used to be breathless, and then thanked her for being patient until she finally saw the light, how much she loved and missed her, and how sorry she was for going off on her the way she had. Rachel merely smiled … and understood.

  She was grateful Dawn hadn’t dialed her number or tried to contact her in any way. Even though she was relieved, she was also saddened that their relationship had fallen apart. It was time to step toward a bright future, however, no matter what the new deck of cards dealt her.

  She pushed her way through the front doors of Strut, a smile bright on her face. She felt like the world waited on her now, to do with it what she wanted. She had a new meaning for life, to love and be loved in return. But, time was on her side. She would wait for that perfect person, and then welcome them with loving, open arms. She knew she couldn’t rush love and Rachel knew it as well, promising to stop her attempts at matchmaking.

  Rachel met her in the break room. “Good morning, beautiful” Rachel said as she poured steaming coffee into her mug.

  “Hi, yourself.” Morgan reached for the pot. “Did you and Steve get things worked out about work?”

  “Oh, yeah.” She grinned over her mug and winked.

  “That’s great.”

  “Can you come over tonight for dinner?”

  “Can’t. I’m going on date.” She watched Rachel’s brow lift in surprise and smiled at her.

  “What?! Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “I’m kidding. It’s not a real date. It’s with a man.” She grinned back, nodding to a few employees passing them. “I’m doing John a favor by going with a friend of his to Howard Gallery’s opening tonight.”

  “Cool. Steve doesn’t want to go. Says it’s weird to see some buff football jock as an artist now. I guess he doesn’t want to ruin his image of him.” She laughed, shrugging her shoulders. “And who’s the lucky date?”

  “Matt’s his name.”

  “Matt? Doesn’t he work with Dan? An agent or something?”

  “Yes, I think that’s what John said. Totally hot, let me tell ya.”

  Rachel gave her a hard stare, thoughts churning behind her eyes. “And speaking of hot, when are you ever going to tell me what happened with, you know who?”

  “Probably never. She just, um, how do you say it, showed her true colors?”

  “No … she didn’t.” Rachel turned and strolled away, leaving Morgan to ponder her words, curious as to their meaning.

  She shrugged and made her way to her office, ready to get the day started. Shamrock Gallery’s article would be on her desk within the hour for approval and her once-over. She dreaded seeing those beautiful paintings again. They would only remind her of gorgeous green eyes, gentle hands making her tremble and a perfect body lying between her legs; all the things she wanted to forget

  ———

  Shane hugged her crying mom who had mascara streaming down her face. “Mom, stop crying. I promise to send Tee back in one piece.”

  “I know she’ll be back in one piece. She’s too mean not to.” She grinned through quivering lips. “I’m worried about you. Are you going to be okay now?”

  Shane looked down into the caring eyes of her mother. “I’m going to be just fine.” She gave her another tight squeeze then turned to Kelly.

  Kelly smiled back, Veronica standing firmly by her side. Her smile was just as bright as Kelly’s. Shane stepped forward, hating to leave her best friend after all the catching up they’d done over the long week. “Keep her in check, Veronica.” Shane gave her a quick hug.

  “No problem.”

  “Keep in touch, Shane.” Kelly stepped forward and gave Shane a quick pat on the shoulder. “We’re still planning on flying out in a few weeks. I’ll call you and give you specific details when I know them.”

  “I’m looking forward to it.”

  Shane and Teresa gave another round of hugs and kisses and walked down the aisle that would carry her home and Teresa to her first visit of Shane’s world. She missed her hometown, but Atlanta needed her more than this place did. It had been there to see her through the darkest part of her life. She owed it something in return … her happiness. She was determined to give it.

  She slid into her seat, happy to be heading back to the gallery, and her paintings. She had a few things tucked in the back of her mind that needed to be spread on canvas, to hopefully rid them from her mind.

  Teresa slid in beside her. “Okay, now that we’re away from everyone, I want to hear all about Morgan.

  “Tee, I don’t want to talk about her.”

  “I heard you talking to Scott. What did he say?”

  “Nothing that concerns you.” Shane gave her a smile then eased back in the chair.

  Teresa tossed her leg over the other and straightened her back … a perfect model posture. She tossed her thin blonde hair over her shoulders and turned back to Shane. “So, she’s going to be at this thingy tonight?”

  “Jeez! First mom and the pictures, now you and the phone calls. Can’t a girl ever have any privacy in the Oglesby family?” Shane thought about what she’d just said, then busted out laughing. “Stupid question!”<
br />
  “I’d say. So, come on, what’s the game plan?”

  “There is no game plan. All he said was he’d seen the guest list and she was on it. I don’t care if she’s there or not.” Shane twisted in her seat and stared out the window.

  “Liar. You can’t wait to see her again.”

  Shane ignored her. A few minutes later she glanced over to see the cute sleeping face of her sister. She turned back to the window. Morgan crashed through her mind like a plane nose-diving to earth, catching her breath. She fisted her hand while an image of Morgan’s hardened nipples, screaming for attention, fluttered through her mind’s eye. Head thrown back, curls billowing around her head, lips parted, raw pleasure escaping through every scream.

  Shane cursed under her breath, gritting her teeth with the searing heat spreading between her legs at a simple memory. She watched the pages flip behind her closed lids, faster and faster with each turn of the memory. Morgan, back arched, body racking with convulsions churned Shane’s stomach, stung her clit.

  She banged her hand down on the arm of the chair, yanked her head forward, eyes widening, and rose out of the chair. Teresa slept peacefully in her chair.

  Shane eased around her and made her way to the tiny bathroom, no bigger than a janitor’s closet. She pulled the knob for the water, slipped her hands under the cold fluid and doused it on her face. She stared back at herself in the mirror.

  “Get over it girl. She’s gone.”

  She stilled her beating heart and made her way back to her seat, determined to make it through the night at the gallery opening without falling all over herself at the sight of Morgan.

  Another thought occurred to her. What if Morgan was there with Dawn? Could she take the sight of them together? Would she be able to refrain from ripping the bitch’s head off, knowing she was only playing games with Morgan?