Cinderellie!

by Carol Grace

  The big top smelled like sawdust and popcorn and big animals. The earthy smell brought back bittersweet memories of when she'd gone with her parents years ago. Another lifetime. The front-row seats were even better than the ones she and Jack had had last night. And what a difference in the audience! There were kids everywhere, laughing, jumping out of their seats, clapping and stuffing their faces with food. There was noise and loud music. She sneaked a look at Jack out of the corner of her eye, wondering what he thought. She hoped she hadn't hyped it too much, or he'd be disappointed.

  When he turned off his cell phone, she shot him an inquiring look and he shrugged.

  "I wouldn't want to disturb the performers," he said. "Or the audience."

  Then he craned his neck to look up at high-wire artists tiptoeing back and forth high above them. Next he looked down at the clowns who were tossing balls in the air and catching them behind their backs. In ring three there were tigers performing with a trainer. The action was nonstop. Ellie craned her neck back and forth, afraid to miss anything. She didn't see the lone sad-faced clown who was riding around on a unicycle, until Jack nudged her and pointed to him. The clown got off the cycle and did a juggling routine so silly she laughed. So did Jack. It was almost like the trampoline, the two of them laughing together. She felt light-headed and giddy.

  "If you ran away and joined the circus, what would you be?" Jack asked her.

  "Me? I'd love to fly through the air." She pointed to the trapeze artists above them.

  "Not afraid of heights?"

  "Yes, but I could get used to it. What about you?"

  "I'd be a clown. Hiding behind all that paint, I could act anyway I want and not worry what impression I was making."

  Jack waved to a vendor, and in a minute they both had a pink cotton candy cone in their hands. Perched on the edge of her seat, she watched Jack put a blob of pink spun sugar into his mouth. "Like it?" she asked.

  "Not bad," he said, licking his lips. "So this is what I've missed all these years."

  That and a few other things, she thought taking a mouthful of cotton candy. Before she could lick the sugar off her lips, Jack leaned over and brushed her mouth with his, leisurely tasting her lips with his tongue. "Hmm," he said with a gleam in his eye as he pressed his sticky lips to hers. "Very sweet."

  He wasn't talking about the candy, not in that tone of voice. She knew she should turn away and break the contact, but she was stuck. Stuck to his lips. She put her hands on his shoulders as the memories of last night's kisses came rushing back. Surely if she pushed, if she shoved, she could break away, but she didn't. Neither did he. Instead he deepened the kiss, turning it into one of spine-tingling excitement instead of just lighthearted fun. She felt feverish now, her pulse accelerating wildly as he kissed her and she kissed him back.

  What did everyone else think? She could only hope no one noticed the couple in the front row kissing as if there were no tomorrow. But there was a tomorrow. And tomorrow after that.

  That realization made her gather her willpower and finally pull away. She turned deliberately toward the third ring, hoping he wouldn't notice how the color flooded her face, and she tried to focus on the tigers who were jumping through rings of fire.

  "I hope no kids saw us," she said breathlessly.

  "Yeah, that's the kind of thing that turns kids toward a life of crime."

  She slanted a quick smile in his direction. "You know what I mean."

  "I don't think I do. Let me guess. Was it this?"

  With one hand he gripped the back of her head to hold her steady and wrapped the other around her waist. Then he slanted his mouth and plundered hers yet again. This time she felt his tongue slide into her mouth and mate with hers. She felt as if she was slipping into a deep hole and that she might never get out. The worst part was, she didn't want to. The background music faded, the shouts, the laughter all disappeared, and the only sound she heard was her own heart pounding in her ears.

  This time he was the one to break away first. No explanation, no smart remarks, he just looked around as if he didn't know where he was or what he was doing there. As for her, she was left feeling lost and alone. Ridiculous.

  "Great circus," he said under his breath. "Nonstop action. We've got to do this more often."

  She looked around as the world came back into focus. The tigers were still jumping through hoops, the clowns were still parading around the ring, and muscled men were swinging from ropes high above them. Kids were still screaming, and no one gave the two of them a second glance. She breathed a sigh of relief…or longing…or was it something else? Regret? For what? That the kiss was over?

  "You didn't tell me," he said.

  "About what?" She stared at the clowns, trying to focus, afraid to meet his gaze. Afraid he might see how the kiss had affected her, turned her bones to jelly and made her heart race. Afraid she'd see nothing in his face to show he'd been affected in the least. Not the way she had. "Tell you that cotton candy sticks to your lips?"

  "Tell me your lips would stick to mine when you kissed me."

  "Wait a minute. You kissed me first."

  "Don't apologize. You couldn't help yourself."

  "That's right. No apologies. You're irresistible. I couldn't help myself."

  He grinned. "You don't have to say that just because you're working for me. Flattery isn't in the contract. But kissing, that's another matter. You read the fine print, didn't you?"

  "Not exactly," she admitted. "Was there something about kissing?"

  "Something? It was everything. Never mind. Then I have to assume that display of affection there had nothing to do with your obligation to me and was purely based on my animal magnetism?"

  "You can assume whatever you want," she said, fanning herself with her program. It was warm in the tent and getting warmer by the minute. "Okay, so I kissed you, but I felt I had an obligation…"

  "To return the favor."

  "Well…"

  "Anything to boost my ego, is that it?"

  "You don't need me to do that."

  "I need somebody. Ego boosters are hard to come by these days. My father's never exactly been the ideally supportive parent."

  "What would he say if he knew you were at the circus?"

  He laughed. "He'd say I'd lost my mind. He's not the circus type."

  "I didn't think you were, either."

  "I wasn't, but now that I know about the sideshow, I might come every night." He nudged her in the ribs. "If you know what I mean. That is, as long as you come with me, of course."

  He didn't mean it. It was just banter. Then why did her heart speed up like an out-of-control race car? Because she was hungry for compliments, for flirting, for kissing and more. Because she was hungry for fun and excitement and laughter. She hadn't lost her childhood the way Jack had, but she'd lost her adolescence. Instead of hanging out in the mall with friends, she'd been at home cleaning and cooking. Instead of flirting with high school boys, she'd been in the library doing her homework. That's what she was making up for. If that was possible all in one night.

  "Fortunately the circus is only once a year," she said, damping down her emotions. "Otherwise I'd lose my job. When I have my restaurant…" She stopped. She didn't want to sound overconfident.

  "Go on."

  "I'll be busy every night."

  "Don't call me a workaholic."

  "I didn't."

  "No, but you were thinking it. Every time I get a call on my cell phone, you have that look on your face that says, 'Oh, no, here he goes again.'"

  She widened her eyes, trying to look innocent. "Like this?" she asked.

  "No, like this." He did an imitation of her looking down her nose with unmistakable disapproval at him. She laughed. It occurred to her that since she'd met Jack, she was laughing more than she had in years.

  Chapter Seven

  Out in the cool night air they walked hand in hand in easy, companionable silence to the parking lot. Like a couple, Jack thou
ght. Like a couple who'd acted silly, laughed and kissed and had a wonderful time. They had had a great time, but Jack didn't want to be part of a couple. He knew what it entailed. Obligations. Commitment. Problems. He'd had experience. Only once, but the memories lingered. And they weren't pleasant ones. He'd vowed then that he'd never get entangled again. After a stormy breakup, recriminations and bitterness had followed. But right now he wasn't worried. He'd learned his lesson. He'd never fall again. Tonight? It was a one-night deal, right? Why should he worry?

  If he'd temporarily lost his mind, so be it. Part of him even hoped he wouldn't find it anytime soon. He was having too good a time. Way too good. He felt like he'd been given a second childhood, or rather a first, since he'd never had one the first time around. He felt like running and jumping and doing a summersault like the clown he wanted to be. It was the circus; it was taking the night off; but most of all it was Ellie. He loved hearing her laugh. He liked seeing her cheeks flush and he liked having her small warm hand in his right now.

  "How did it compare?" he asked. "Was it as good as you remembered?" What he really wanted to know was how did he compare to any other man in her life. How crazy was that? Jack Martin worried about the competition? Nobody would believe it.

  "It was better. Of course, I was in the front row."

  "And you were with me." He squeezed her hand.

  She slanted a smile in his direction, and he felt a strange pressure around the region of his heart. He must have OD'd on cotton candy.

  "Which part did you like best?" she asked.

  "The clowns, followed by the tigers. No, wait, it was the elephants. You thought I was going to say the kisses, didn't you?"

  "No," she protested. But he could see her cheeks flush under the lights in the parking lot.

  He grinned at her. "Truthfully? I liked it all. It was great. I had no idea a circus could be so exciting. I didn't know what I'd missed." I had no idea you could be so exciting. Oh, come on, he knew. He'd known the first minute he'd set eyes on her. He'd known then she was special. He hadn't wanted to turn her down.

  When they got in his car he switched on his cell phone. There was a huge list of missed calls. Damn. So much for a night off. He should have known he couldn't get away with it. He played his messages.

  The first, second, third and fourth messages were all from the members of his group. Their van had broken down on the freeway and then had been hit from behind by a speeding car. Two women were shaken up, the rest unhurt, and they needed to know where to go, how to get home, what to do. The voices were shaky, hesitant, worried, upset.

  "What's wrong?" Ellie asked, hearing him muttering under his breath.

  "Everything. I should never have turned off my phone. There's been an accident. In the van coming back from the museum." Jack ran his hand through his hair and started his engine. Then he hit the freeway, one hand on the steering wheel, the other holding his phone pressed to his ear.

  When he finished, he turned to Ellie. "I'm going to San Jose to pick up the people who are stuck there. I'm sorry. I'll call a cab for you so you can go straight home from here. Otherwise it might be a long night."

  "Here" turned out to be a big hotel just off the freeway. Before Ellie could say anything, he'd parked, jumped out of the car and told the concierge to get a cab to take her to San Francisco. He paid the concierge, then briefly said good-night. She looked stunned. But what did she expect? That she'd go with him? He had no idea how long it would take or if he'd have to fill up his car with the others.

  Jack's mind was spinning. He should have been with the group. He should not have taken the night off. He'd shirked his responsibility, and now he was paying the price. He consoled himself that no one was seriously hurt. At best, they were inconvenienced and the incident had put a crimp in his plans. This was his fault. No, he couldn't have prevented the van from breaking down, but he might have stopped them from being hit from behind. He would have known who to call and gotten help sooner.

  He drove away from the hotel with the image of Ellie in his rearview mirror, standing in front of the hotel waiting for her cab, her face blank. He was sure she didn't blame him. But he blamed himself. He hoped she didn't think he'd dumped her there so the group wouldn't see he was out with the hired help. That was the farthest thing from his mind. All he wanted to do was to get them all back to San Francisco and to their hotels.

  They were spread out, some at a fast-food restaurant, more bored than annoyed, the ones who'd been slammed into on the freeway were at the emergency room at the local hospital, waiting to go back to their hotel after having been checked out and given clean bills of health. And still others had gotten themselves back to the city on their own.

  For the rest, Jack made calls and hired cabs, and by two o'clock in the morning, he finally arrived at his house, strung out, overstimulated and dead tired. He wanted to call Ellie to make sure she'd gotten home all right. He couldn't get the picture out of his mind of her standing alone in front of the hotel waiting for a cab. What a way to end an evening.

  He'd learned his lesson. He'd let down his guard and acted like a kid at the circus and what happened? He'd blown it. There was an emergency, and if he'd been there, he could have smoothed everything over. Presumably no one would even have been disturbed. He would have commandeered another vehicle, avoided the accident, and the group would scarcely have been aware that anything had gone wrong.

  But he hadn't been there. He was out enjoying a second childhood, which he couldn't afford and didn't deserve. And which he certainly didn't need. Oh, he'd had a good time. No doubt about that. He couldn't remember when he'd had such a good time. But was it worth it?

  Someone might have been seriously hurt, or he might have compromised the success of this project. What if some members of the investment group were so upset, they'd leave early without making a commitment to his projects? What if the rest stayed on, but then decided not to put any money into the fund? The reasons may or may not have anything to do with what happened tonight. He could only speculate.

  What he did know was that he was not going to act like a kid again. He'd swerved from the straight and narrow, and look what happened. He was lucky because it could have been worse. There could have been some real injuries. But on the way back, most of the group were uncomplaining and in good spirits. No one blamed him. But Jack blamed himself.

  He went to the kitchen and stood in the middle of the quiet, spotless room. What was it about a kitchen that made him want something he couldn't have? The smell of bread baking, a soup simmering on the back burner, the presence of a woman. Certainly such things weren't memories of the past. He'd never had them until Hannah had come into his life. Soon Hannah would be back, and things would be right. He wouldn't miss Ellie then. Not at all.

  Ellie should have known the new and improved Jack, the Jack who forgot he was supposed to be all work and no play, was too good to be true. That man had disappeared as soon as he'd turned on his cell phone. That phone had become a symbol of what he was: always busy, always on call, always somewhere else. At least, part of him was somewhere else. Of course she understood he was needed. Of course she understood there was an emergency and that he was good at coping with emergencies. And she knew how much he had at stake.

  So what was wrong with her? He didn't owe her anything. He'd taken her to the circus; they'd had a great time. They'd laughed and eaten and kissed, and then it was over. But she wanted more. She was greedy and that was not good. It was counterproductive.

  Over and over she'd told herself that all she wanted from Jack was the money for her restaurant. How was he supposed to get the money if he didn't put his work first wholeheartedly and without distractions like going to the circus? His doing his job well meant she'd get her restaurant. It was as simple as that.

  If only there wasn't this nagging question at the back of her mind. Why couldn't she have gone with Jack to take care of the stranded people in the group? She might have been able to help. Obviously he
didn't think so. Was it because he was reluctant to be seen with her? Not likely, since he'd taken her to the symphony, and her photo was all over the paper. Or was he just being considerate by letting her go home in a cab, not knowing what was going to happen? She wanted to believe that, so she did. But she wondered…

  When she got home, she found a message on her machine from Gwen. She said May was sick with the flu and they had a tea to cater the next day. She didn't beg, she didn't order, it was something in between. She appealed to Ellie's sense of loyalty to come and help out.

  Ellie sighed. If she did it, it would mean breakfast for the group, ditto lunch, then do the tea across town at the yacht club and back for dinner at Jack's.

  The phone rang. She knew it would be Gwen or April and she had to have her answer ready. But it was Jack.

  "I didn't wake you, did I? I wanted to be sure you got home all right. I'm sorry about dumping you that way. I hope you understand."

  "Of course. Was everyone all right?"

  "Yes, but it was a near miss. They're lucky no one was hurt. I should have been there."

  "What could you have done?"

  "I don't know. Something. The point is I wasn't there."

  "You were taking the night off."

  "I don't have nights off. Or vacations. You know what I mean. Anyone who runs a business knows that. Whether it's the investment or the restaurant business. You take one night off and you're sunk. Be-cause there's always someone who's willing to work harder than you are, and they're the ones who'll win."

  "I didn't know it was a contest," she said stiffly. She didn't need to be lectured about the restaurant business and having a work ethic. Especially when she was contemplating a full day tomorrow and it was already almost 2:00 a.m.