All the Different Ways

by R. J. Lee

  The celebration is short-lived, however, as our defense buckles and allows two scores before the whistle blows. The crowd groans then gets deathly quiet; we’re now getting beat ten to fourteen.

  Cullen pulls the offense in and squats in the middle of the huddle. He disappears in a mass of filthy shoulder pads and scratched helmets. After a few minutes, he breaks out and they all yell “Raptors!” in unison. It’s exciting and empowering. I wish they could see themselves.

  It’s a back and forth battle through the fourth quarter. I can’t believe that our entire perfect season with a record-breaking offense has come down to a struggle of defense on an old muddy field. I’m biting the ends of my coat sleeves to burn nervous energy. I jump when the ref blows his whistle for the two-minute warning.

  I close my eyes and wait for the screaming to start again. I can’t watch Cullen pound on his clipboard another second. Peeking from behind my eyelashes, I see Hart drop back and fire a rocket downfield to… Who is that? I grab a paper roster from the floor in front of me. Jarrod? He’s second string! I jump up as he runs like a demon towards the end zone. He’s got a fast little guy on his tail, but Jarrod’s like lightning and he’s not slowing down. I lose my mind with everyone else when he jumps and slam-dunks the football through the uprights. Touchdown!

  Defense holds on for us through the last minute or so and we advance to Sectionals. Our victory is a narrow one and unexpected when using an unknown player like Jarrod off the bench. The boys, offense and defense, start running at each other on the field but before Cullen joins them, he looks for me again in the bleachers. I’m standing in the same spot as I was sitting, watching him with a prideful smile on my face.

  When he finds me, he points to me and jogs towards the fence. I hold out my hands to the sides and mouth, “What?”

  He coaxes to me with his finger, signaling that he wants me to come down. I shake my head and wave him towards his team. Instead of being deterred, Cullen emphatically shouts, “Violet!” He waves me forward.

  Now I notice how quiet it’s gotten around me in the stands. I put my hands in my pockets and look around at all of the parents and students staring at me.

  I offer them all a small smile, “Um, he just forgot to tell me something. I, uh, better go down there, I guess.” I give a nervous laugh and try not to stumble my way off the metal stairs.

  The sticky mud and half-dead grass clumps on my boots while I trek over to Cullen. “Well that was embarrassing,” I start when I’m within earshot. “Everyone was looking at me.”

  He takes the front of my coat and hauls me towards him. My hands grasp at his shirt. “Hush, woman, the attention’s about to get worse.”

  Cullen’s lips crush mine in a feverish kiss. Three weeks of missing the feel of his mouth on mine go into this one moment and I whimper with the desire blazing so close to the surface. Maybe we weren’t undone through this after all.

  His smooth tongue sweeps over my lip before he pulls away completely. I fall forward with dizziness. Catcalls and whistles shriek from behind both of us, but I don’t care.

  “Open your eyes a minute, Violet.” Reluctantly, I focus on him, afraid that he’ll disappear if I try too hard. “I got an inspiring message at halftime. You wouldn’t know anything about that, would you?”

  I shake my head and my knees start trembling. It spreads to my core and then my whole body is in on it. I can’t stop the tremors. I’m not even sure what I’m nervous about specifically.

  “I love you,” he whispers.

  “What?” I almost stop breathing.

  “I love you, Violet. Everything I want, I want with you. I love you.” He touches his forehead to mine and cups my neck. His thumbs stroke the sides of my throat, occasionally running into the tears that have made their way down that far. “Say something.”

  I sniff. “What changed?”

  “What didn’t change? It hit me today like a 400-pound linebacker that after all the abuse you’ve been through, when touch couldn’t have been easy, you’ve been giving me the gift of yourself all along. Physically, you’ve shared everything with me, but I’ve missed how significant that is because the words weren’t there. I couldn’t see that you had already given me your entire self. Fuck, I’m sorry. I was so blind. When it seemed like you vanished yesterday, I saw my whole future go black. You’re my today and my tomorrow. I want you with me, Violet. We’ll work through the hard parts, but together. We’re better together. You love me, and I’ve been loving you. Think of all the different ways we’ve proven that.”

  I grab onto his wrists. My hands shake wildly. My heart is pounding so hard it hurts and I’m afraid if my legs shake anymore the fence will start to rattle. I never imagined that Cullen would forgive me for failing him and ruining us, let alone confess to loving me. I’ve been trained for so long in self-doubt that redemption is just fog rolling out and away, over the sea.

  “Don’t let me go, Cullen Metz. You have my entire heart.”

  Our lips meet again and my arms wrap around his neck. He bends then pulls me up against him above the top of the fence so that my feet are dangling above the dirt. He’s giving me all I want and need right here on this field, and I love him more than I’ve ever loved anyone. I kiss him until there’s not a breath left in my body and when we finally pull away from each other, the only thing I hear before our own laughter, is the applause and cheers of the hundreds of bystanders milling around the bleachers at a high school semi-finals football game.

  Keep reading for a special sneak peek of the next book in the series

  ALL THE OTHER REASONS

  COMING SOON!

  Charlotte

  Maybe it is the slow slide of his body as he turns to acknowledge my presence. Maybe it is his piercing blue stare sending poison-tipped knives straight into my chest. Either way, the eye-to-eye contact nearly brings me to my knees.

  The barista calls my name and blindly I reach out, grasping for my cold brew. He smirks at my fumbling and my brain dry rots, crumbling into a thousand bits. This is the feeling I remember. Waking up today was a mistake.

  My coffee and I quickly exit the shop, but our escape isn’t swift enough. I feel Dixon at my elbow even before I see him out of the corner of my eye. The lingering scent of his coffee mixes with the heady masculinity and sage emanating from his very being. I close my eyes briefly to hang on to any threads of sanity I have left.

  “Charlotte.”

  I slow my steps and turn. He’s closer than I had imagined. Irises of crystalline blue threaten to stop time.

  Deep breath in. “How are you, Dixon? Back in town again?”

  His half-smile is outrageous. I want to bite his lip where it curls away from his teeth. I squeeze my eyes shut instead, then open them again to find a full-out smile. God, he’s ridiculous. His blackish hair sweeps forward towards his face and across his forehead. Gripping my coffee cup with both hands keeps me from tugging on the strands.

  “You want to do small talk after how we left things?”

  His frankness brings my attention back to the moment.

  I blow out a breath and look to our left and right. The sidewalk isn’t overly busy by any means, but I’d rather not have witnesses around.

  As if sensing my trepidation, Dixon huffs a little but sidesteps until he’s in between two buildings. I follow, tightening my grip on my travel cup.

  “What do you want me to say, Dixon?” I manage to ask. The fact that we’re clearly alone makes my blood hum behind my ears and my knees shake. Tiny beads of sweat are starting to collect under my collar. I’m intensely aware of the scratchiness of my coat’s fabric.

  The intensity in his eyes grows ten-fold. “Do you want me?”

  Somewhere a horn honks. I swallow sand. “It doesn’t matter, does it? This is wrong from every angle.”

  He takes a calculated step closer, blue eyes blazing. He asks again with a deep rumble that resonates into my own chest. “That’s not an answer, Charlotte. Do you want me?”


  My legs from hip to toe tremble as if I’m standing on my own fault line and it’s starting to give way. Clamminess seizes my palms. Defiance catches my voice. “It is an answer. My answer. This would be wrong.”

  My ears burn with the flames of a liar at the stake.

  With another of his shifts there’s not an atom’s worth of space between us. My cup threatens to crack. Dixon’s belt is leaving an imprint just above my navel. There is nowhere to look but his icy eyes. I swallow hard.

  “Tell me, Charlotte,” he whispers.

  My eyes dart to his full lips for a fraction of a second. The thud of my heart echoes obnoxiously in my head, and I can’t think straight. Can’t control my mouth.

  “Yes, I want you.” My voice sounds raw and gritty.

  A low growl sounds from deep in Dixon’s chest. Desire he’s fighting to contain ripples the air around us, nearly shaking the aged brick of the buildings at our sides.

  “How much, Charlotte? Tell me how much.”

  I feel hypnotized, lured in by his eyes, breath, close proximity. All are turbulently mixed with indescribable craving and need that borders on pain.

  My breath hitches, “I want you more than I want my own skin.”

  He tugs me closer by the lapels of my peacoat. The shimmer in his eyes incites frenzy in the molecules between us and I despise my traitorous heart for thinking this might be ok.

  “Trust me, baby. You’ll want your skin for this.”

  His rich promise angers me because it’s one he can’t possibly keep. I don’t like being lied to. Even out of cockiness. I start to spiral down to where I was before Dixon walked back into my life.

  “Fuck you,” I murmur. Our lips mere centimeters apart.

  “Yes.”

  His breath is warm and intoxicating, riling me up. Pissing me off. Turning me on.

  “That wasn’t an offer.”

  The corner of his mouth tugs up and holds in place, causing my eyes to flick to his lips once again. They’re plump and smooth, perfect for nibbling and teasing, then full out assaulting.

  As my heart tumbles behind my sternum, I mentally kick myself for this absurdity. He’s too young for me. He’s too much of a player. I used to grade his papers for shit’s sake.

  Fucking sins of the flesh.

  With awareness of my slipping focus, Dixon takes my chin and drags the roughened pad of his thumb across my lower lip. The sensation shoots straight as an arrow right between my legs. I fight to keep from whimpering. It doesn’t help that he’s keeping against me by possessing my coat with one massive fist.

  “Everything about you is an offer. Right down to this unbuttoned, hot-as-fucking-hell wool coat of yours. An offer to start here—have me strip it off—push it back over your shoulders, peel off that blouse, drag my teeth over your bare shoulder. You’re breathing hard, Charlotte. If I touch you, will your heart pound against my fingers?”

  “No,” I answer indignantly, lying to maintain control. Fuck. He’s into my veins now. Rushing through the tissues of my body every minute fighting with the little blood cells trying to get there first.

  In truth, I already know I’m going to cave. And if that mouth presses into mine? If any part of him makes actual contact with my skin—

  He glances at my mouth…

  About the Author

  R.J.Lee is the author of All the Different Ways and its upcoming sequel All the Other Reasons. When she’s not spending time with alpha male characters and the commanding presence of their beautiful female counterparts, she’s spending time with her family and friends, utilizing her Master’s Degree in Education by teaching middle school, painting with acrylics, and reading her favorite books.