Tilly and the Crazy Eights

by Monique Gray Smith

  “No? You don’t think me thinkin’ my daughter came to visit me as a hummingbird is just a little weird?”

  “No.” Anne shook her head. “Not at all, actually. I think we get visited by those who have gone to the other side all the time. Most people don’t pay attention though, you know, to the whispers.”

  “That’s just what it was like. Like that hummingbird looked me right in the eye and said, ‘Look, Ma. I’m free and I’m fast and I make people happy.’”

  Lucy wiped the last remnants of tears from under her eyes and sat in comforting silence for a few moments. Then she described to Anne how the hummingbird had flown a full circle around her and then fluttered in front of her again before flying off. “I don’t know how long I sat there, long time though cuz I missed dinner and the staff came lookin’ for me.”

  Anne smiled at her friend, her tone tender as she said, “That sort of seems to be a theme in your life, Lucy.”

  Lucy giggled. “I suppose, eh?”

  Lucy tilted her head, closed her eyes, and let the Las Vegas sun warm her. “I thought about suicide every single day after she went missing,” Lucy whispered with her eyes closed. “But that day with the hummingbird, it was the first day I didn’t. I decided to live. To honor the memory of my beautiful Jenny by living.” She slowly opened her eyes and looked out to the shoppers. “Doesn’t mean I don’t miss her. Gawd, I miss her so much. Every minute of every day I could be crying, but that ain’t gonna bring my Jenny back. So instead, I look for joy. I know there’s lots of people who think I’m a bit crazy. And I am. Ain’t no way as a parent you can go through what I been through and not be a bit crazy. How else do you cope? Some days it feels like I been punched in the gut, but it always seems like on those days, the hardest days, I get visited by a hummingbird.” Lucy looked over at her friend and grinned.

  “Funny how that is.”

  “I know, right? Creator and those Ancestors of ours work in mysterious ways.”

  The two women adjusted themselves on the bench. They sat in silence as they watched the shoppers move in and out of the stores.

  After awhile, Lucy turned to Anne and frowned. “Sorry to ruin our fun day. So much for YOLO.”

  “Oh, Lucy. You haven’t ruined anything.” Anne tenderly pulled Lucy in for a hug.

  When they were done hugging, Lucy let out a deep sigh. “I think I’m done shopping for today, Anne. With my late night at the casino and this little boohoo, ol’ Lucy here is in need of a nap.”

  “Sure, Lucy. Let’s head back.”

  The women stood, collected their bags, and headed to where they could catch a bus back to the hotel.

  22

  A Chance to Love

  ROSE KNEW PONCHO better than she knew herself and this went far beyond his likes and dislikes. She knew that he had the kindest heart of anyone she’d ever met. She knew he was wiser than most ever took the time to discover. She knew, before he even opened his eyes in the morning, that he started his day with the same seventeen words, “Thank you for the safe passage through the night and for the gift of living another day.”

  Rose also knew his peculiarities. That’s how she knew that when they returned to the hotel that afternoon, Poncho would slip off his cowboy boots, remove his hat, and crawl onto the bed. He’d fold the pillow in half and tuck his left hand under it before laying his head down. Rose decided to surprise him and tuck his new Nano under the pillow, right where his hand would find it.

  Just as predicated, Poncho was barely in the door when his cowboy boots were off and his routine unfolded, except when he slid his hand under the pillow, it hit the box. He sat up as fast as his old body would allow, looked at his wife with wide eyes and said, “Rose, there’s somethin’ under my pillow.”

  “Mm-hmm,” she responded as she hung her sweater in the closet.

  “Not the time to be uninterested, Rose.”

  She could tell by his tone that he was unnerved. They weren’t accustomed to staying in hotel rooms and who knows what he thought was under his pillow. “Why don’t you lift the pillow and see what it is?”

  “Nu-uh.” Poncho moved down the bed and stared at the pillow.

  Rose walked over, lifted the pillow, and revealed the wrapped box underneath. He looked at her puzzled. “How’d that get there?”

  “I put it there.”

  “You?”

  “Yes, me!”

  “Why?”

  “It’s for you, you big dummy. I knew you’d come in here, slip off your boots, and crawl right into bed to watch the sports channel, so I put it under the pillow.” Rose looked dejected and her voice went a few octaves lower. “It was meant to be a surprise.”

  “Oh.” His eyes wandered from Rose to the box and back to Rose. “What is it?”

  At that moment Rose wanted to take the box, rap him over the head with it, and take the damn Nano back to the store. Her husband could be so infuriating!

  Instead, she leaned over, picked it up, and held it toward Poncho. She placed it in his hand and sat down on the bed directly across from him.

  He looked at his wife and asked, “You’re not sick or somethin’ are you, Rose?”

  “No, I’m not sick! Why can’t I surprise my husband?”

  “Well, you can.” He smiled wide. “You just never done it before.”

  Her eyes lowered to the floor, she placed her hands on her lap and spoke. “Being on this trip’s made me remember how much I love you and,” she lifted one shoulder and let it fall, “I just wanted to show you, cuz like you said, I never do.”

  When she looked up and over at Poncho, a solitary tear was rolling down his cheek.

  After a few moments of their eyes connecting, he looked down at the box in his hand. “Guess I’d better open it then, eh?”

  There was a small note hanging from the ribbon that read:

  For my Poncho,

  Thank you for giving me the chance to love.

  Your Rose, always.

  “Aw, Rose.” He took a breath, pulled the handkerchief from his back pocket and wiped the tears that were leaking from his eyes. Poncho opened his gift. He had no idea what it was at first, turning it over and then over again. Finally, he lifted his eyes to Rose, eyebrows raised and smile lurking. “Is this like that thingy that Tilly listens to her music on?”

  “Yep, open it all the way.” She came to sit beside him on the bed. “We even put music on it, all your favorites.” Rose could no longer contain herself, she was beaming.

  They spent the rest of the afternoon lying side by side on the bed, each with one ear bud, listening to the songs Rose had chosen.

  After the last song played, Poncho turned on his side and looked at his wife. He ran his weathered hand along her jawline and before kissing her whispered, “Thank you, Rose. Besides our children, this is the best gift you’ve ever given me.”

  23

  Exploring Again

  LATER THAT EVENING, several of the elders headed down to Freemont Street. They started with watching the light show and then meandered down a few steps to where an Elvis impersonator was singing, “Can’t Help Falling in Love with You.” It had been the first song Chuck and Bea had ever danced to and for years she hadn’t been able to listen it. But tonight, she closed her eyes and allowed her body to surrender to the music.

  Bea felt someone come and stand beside her. She knew it was him. She smelled him. Felt him. Remembered him. When the song ended and the clapping had quieted down, he leaned over and whispered in her ear, “Tell me, Bea. How do I unlove you?”

  Before her brain could censor her response, her heart’s words flew out of her mouth, “Maybe you don’t have to.” Her stomach flipped and her body tingled as Chuck took a step closer. Standing so their shoulders touched, he wove his fingers into hers. Instinctively, she tightened her fingers around his, just as they’d done thousand
s of times…many, many full moons ago.

  Bea was letting her melancholy get the best of her and was about to let go of Chuck’s hand when he let out a nervous giggle, almost like a snort, and she couldn’t help but laugh. He squeezed her hand gently. He turned his head to look at Bea. The love and tenderness in his eyes caused Bea’s body to explode with goosebumps.

  “Is this okay?” he asked, as he squeezed her hand.

  “Yes.” She smiled, suddenly feeling shy.

  ***

  As Bea waited for Chuck the next morning, she tried to get the butterflies in her stomach to go away. Or at least fly in alignment. She stood staring out the hotel window at the pool below, watching the young people move their bodies to the pumping music. She tried moving her hips like that, sort of sexy-like, but it hurt her back. What am I thinking? Chuck and I? Back together? Having sex again…after all these years. That’s crazy. She shook her head. Whispering to herself, as if the walls were listening, “I don’t even know if my body works that way anymore. Maybe everything’s all dried up.”

  The knock at the door startled her back to reality. She took a deep breath. It’s only a trip to the Grand Canyon, Bea. Nothing else! Get yourself together, woman! She wiped her sweaty palms on the front of her jeans and opened the door. Chuck was standing there smiling at her, his eyes deep pools of brown. Bea thought, I could get lost in those eyes again if I’m not careful. I know I’m staring at him, but I can’t help it.

  The gray hair at his temples was brushed into place, not a whisker was to be found on his skin. She noticed he’d even trimmed his nose hairs. He smelled of a powerful mixture of Head and Shoulders, Old Spice, and too much deodorant. Bea found this both endearing and attractive. She knew she should just grab her purse and leave. Inviting him in would put them in this small room together. Who knows what might happen then.

  “Ready, Bea?”

  Her inner dialogue continued. Am I ready? Ready for what? For what I want to happen, but I’m terrified of? Her heart pounded in her head. Her hand had become slippery on the door handle.

  She heard what sounded like her voice. It was saying, “Why don’t you come in?”

  He looked at her for a few moments. “Are you sure, Bea?”

  They both knew what her question meant.

  Bea nodded her head.

  The door closed behind him and they stood face to face, their bodies now inches apart.

  “I know this sounds crazy, Bea.” He brought his hand up to her cheek, gently running it down to her chin. “But I love you. I always have and always will.” He leaned in and placed a feathery soft kiss on Bea’s lips. Her lips instinctively responded and she lifted her arms around his neck.

  The Grand Canyon would have to wait. They had other, more important exploring to do.

  24

  Missing Roommate

  IT WAS LATE when Tilly got back from Bingo and she was surprised to find that Bea wasn’t in their room. She should be back from the Grand Canyon by now. Tilly waited about fifteen minutes before she called Bea. No answer. She texted her. After waiting a few minutes and receiving no return text from Bea, Tilly started to get concerned.

  This was not typical Bea behavior.

  Tilly went to Mabel and Lucy’s room to see if they knew where Bea might be. Lucy took Tilly by the hand and headed toward the door. “Come with me, Tilly. I have a good ol’ Indian hunch where she might be.”

  Tilly couldn’t help herself and a crooked smile came over her. This Lucy was something else. She followed her to the elevator, where they rode up to the eighteenth floor.

  They stepped off the elevator and Tilly asked, “What are we doing here?”

  Lucy took her by the hand. “Just come with me.”

  They wandered the hall for a few moments until Lucy stopped in front of a door.

  “Here it is. The room I’ve been looking for.” She looked down and noticed a Do Not Disturb sign hanging from the door handle. Lucy pumped her fist beside her in jubilation and stated, “I knew it.”

  Tilly looked at the sign and then stared at Lucy, trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together in her head. “Is this…?” Her voice trailed off.

  Lucy’s eyes got big and a gigantic smile came over her face. “Yep.”

  Tilly pulled Lucy in close to her, almost nose to nose. She looked around to make sure no one was watching them and whispered, “This is Chuck’s room?”

  Lucy’s head moved up and down in excitement and her curls bounced on her little head. Everything about Lucy was little, except her personality.

  Tilly crossed her arms and began to slowly nod her head up and down. A smile came over her. “Well I’ll be.”

  “I know, right?” They both turned and gazed at the Do Not Disturb sign. Lucy’s voice softened, “Second chances. Sometimes they really do work.”

  They scurried down the hall to the elevator with Lucy giggling all the way. By the time the elevator came they were both in hysterics.

  ***

  The next morning Tilly heard the door unlock. It was 7:03. She quickly closed her eyes and pretended to be asleep.

  Bea ducked into the washroom and after a few moments emerged wrapped in the plush hotel housecoat, her hair damp. She sat down on Tilly’s bed and shook her shoulder. “Tilly, wake up. I need to talk to you.”

  Tilly sat up and leaned against the headrest. She reached over to the nightstand to grab her glasses and asked, “What is it, Bea?”

  Bea avoided Tilly’s eyes for the time being. “I did something last night.” Her face lit up as she recalled the night with Chuck. “I don’t regret it. Not at all. But now, I don’t know what to do.” She turned to look at Tilly. “You see Chuck and me, well, we…”

  Tilly put her hand on Bea’s forearm. “I know, Bea.”

  “What do you mean, you know?”

  Tilly leaned her head back against the headrest, wishing now she hadn’t let Lucy lead her astray. She exhaled deeply, feeling like she had invaded Bea’s privacy. She lowered her eyes for a moment before looking at Bea. “Last night when you weren’t here,” she motioned to Bea’s bed, “I went looking for you. Well, Lucy and I went looking for you and we went to Chuck’s room and saw the Do Not Disturb sign hanging from the door. And, well, we put two and two together and…” her voice trailed off.

  Bea’s head fell back. “So you do know.”

  Tilly turned her head to try and make eye contact with Bea. “Just so you know, Bea, I think it’s marvelous.”

  “Marvelous?” Bea asked.

  Tilly nodded and thought how Bea looked different. Younger, joyful, and more vibrant than she’d ever seen her.

  “Well, it was.” Bashfully Bea tilted her head, looked at Tilly and continued. “It was marvelous.” She slowly sounded out the last word.

  Tilly pulled her in for a hug. “Oh, Bea. I’m so happy for you.”

  “I’m happy for me too, Tilly,” Bea whispered into Tilly’s hair.

  25

  We Are Adults

  IT HAD BEEN a late night or rather an early morning for almost everyone. They gathered at Denny’s for breakfast and to sort out their day. They had just ordered when Lucy asked, “So Mr. Chucky, how are those second chances working out?”

  Chuck’s head snapped down the table to where Lucy was sitting. His mouth fell open and his brown cheeks were instantly tinged with red.

  Bea hadn’t had a chance to let him know that Tilly and Lucy had seen the sign. He looked at Bea. She met his eyes, but quickly looked away.

  Chuck glanced around the table. Not a single one of them would look at him. They were all smiling or trying not to laugh.

  “Yes!” He threw his napkin down on the table. “We slept together. We are adults. So you can stop hiding behind your coffee cups.”

  He put his arm around Bea, but instead of returning his warmth, she glar
ed at him and smacked his leg. She didn’t want everyone to know, at least not yet. It wasn’t that she was embarrassed, more that she wanted to stay in the bubble of the two of them. She’d waited over thirty years to have Chuck beside her again, and she wasn’t quite ready to share that with everyone.

  “Since they all know. Might as well be open with how I feel about you.” Chuck pulled her into a kiss and she lingered for a moment, but remembered that everyone was watching and pulled away.

  “Chuck, that’s enough,” Bea said, blushing.

  Everyone clapped, and Lucy leaned her head back, clicking her tongue on top of her mouth.

  26

  Route 66

  THE BUS PULLED out of the hotel at 6:53 a.m. and Mabel announced, “We are seven minutes ahead of schedule.”

  Poncho moved his head up and down. “Now that, my friends, is what I like to call ‘Indian Time’.” They were all too familiar with the negative connotations usually put on that term, but being elders they all knew Indian time actually meant being early.

  Today they were driving from Las Vegas to Sedona, another fairly long day in the bus, so they had decided on only one scheduled stop: Seligman. However, there were always additional bathroom breaks, a requirement when traveling with elders.

  Within half an hour, they reached the Nevada Arizona state line and the Hoover Dam. The sight from the interstate was spectacular, causing Mabel to ask, “Y’all want me to stop?” The consensus was no. An hour later they entered the town of Kingman, which greeted them with a water tower that stated “The Heart of Historic Route 66.” They stopped long enough for a quick bathroom break and then were back on the road. Tilly slept through the stop and, when she woke up, Poncho was beside her. His cowboy hat was tilted over his face and soft sounds escaped his lips on each exhalation. Tilly looked at him for a few moments. Less than a week ago, many of these elders were acquaintances to Tilly and now, they felt like family. That thought seemed to lighten the tightness she’d been feeling in her chest. She took a deep breath and released some of the constriction. Her exhalation was louder than she’d realized, jolting Poncho awake. He lifted his cowboy hat and looked over at Tilly. “Guess I fell asleep while I was waiting for you to wake up.” He let out one of his snort laughs and reached down to the bag at his feet. “Got you a li’l somethin’ when we stopped.” He handed Tilly a can of coconut water.