Rose Reborn (Death's Contract Book 1)

by KJ Harlow

  Stan pressed his hands into the floorboards and pushed himself up. In a flash, he was in a crouching position. His hands grabbed air as he tried to draw a gun that wasn’t there. His eyes blazed with animalistic rage as he searched for Tor.

  “You killed him,” the lie had escaped my mouth before I had a chance to catch it. Stan looked at me. His snarl faded and his eyes softened almost immediately.

  “Rose? What are you doing here?” He closed the distance between us and wrapped his arms around me. My arms hung lifeless by my side as I soaked in the moment. Tears rolled down my face, mingling with the sea water that clung to my skin. Stan put his hands on my shoulders and looked at me, his eyes filled with concern.

  “Rosie, what’s wrong?” My heart ached when he called me that; it had been too long.

  “I’m just so happy to see you again,” I smiled as he ran his thumbs across my cheeks wiping away the tears. Another lie. I was crying because the Stan who hugged me felt like a complete stranger to the Stan I fell in love with. I was crying because I didn’t know where Tor was. I was crying because I didn’t believe I was strong enough to tell him the truth.

  Just remember – the truth hurts sometimes.

  I bowed my head as my shoulders stopped shuddering. “The obstacle is the way,” I whispered.

  “Epictetus,” Stan responded knowingly. I looked up at him, joy evaporating the tears that flowed a moment ago. We sat on the floor staring at each other with shy smiles on our faces. This was the Stan I fought for. It was the reason I decided to become a Deliverer in the first place. I wanted to stay inside this cabin for the rest of my life and just live in this moment.

  “Stan…”

  “Yeah?”

  “Can you help me up?”

  He flashed that charming grin that I had fallen in love with as he extended his hand down to me. I surreptitiously eyed the corner where his gun was.

  “Let’s sit down over there,” I playfully tugged his hand and led him to a bench in the corner of the cabin. Just as we were sitting down, he let go of my hand.

  “Not yet. I’ve got to find his corpse and make sure he’s definitely dead,” he said, a shadow passing over his face.

  “You shot each other. He stumbled out the door and fell over the side of the ship. I saw it. Now please, I need to talk to you about something,” I tried to keep my face passive as I told my biggest lie yet. Stan looked down at me suspiciously. Alarm bells were blaring in my brain. Finally, he plonked himself down next to me. Crisis averted.

  “Fine,” he said in mock annoyance. He cupped his face with his hand as he leaned into his leg. I wrapped my arms around his and put my head on his shoulder. Eventually, he put his head on mine.

  “So, what did you want to talk about?” He murmured. I froze as my mouth went dry. I lifted my head off his shoulder and weaved my fingers between his. It was now or never.

  “Stan… you wrote me a letter not too long ago.” I turned to him, gazing intently into his eyes. He looked at me curiously, searching my face for an answer. It suddenly dawned on him. Sensing he wanted to stand up, I squeeze his hand reassuringly.

  “Rose…”

  “Sssh – it’s OK,” I placed a finger on his lips and the anxiety left his eyes. He dropped his head and looked at his shoes.

  “I…” He opened his mouth and closed it again. He raked his hair with his left hand as his right tightened its grip around mine. I leaned into him. I wasn’t sad anymore; I was at peace. My becoming a Deliverer was bad luck but my neglecting him was my fault. This was the best gift I could give him; he deserved my full attention before I Ceased him.

  “I’m sorry, Rose,” he finally said looking at me. In that moment, I saw the sensitive, caring, gentle Stan. The real Stan. I cupped his face and kiss him deeply. As I re-familiarized myself to the ridges and contours of his face, I smiled: I finally had the answer to his question. I pulled away but kept my face close to his.

  “Silly Billy, don’t be sorry,” I said, playfully squishing his cheeks. He gently grasped my hands and put them down in his lap. Looking down at them, he finally found the words he wanted to say.

  “I was trapped in a body that wasn’t mine. There were several times I looked down the edge of a knife and thought about ending it right then and there,” he admitted, not looking up at me.

  “Then I met you. Suddenly I had a reason to fight for something that mattered again.” He lifted his head and smiled wistfully.

  “But as each day passed, it was like a vice was being tightened around my heart,” his face crumpled. “I could barely look in the mirror in the morning.” The ship wasn’t roiling in the waves anymore. It looked like we had survived the storm.

  “I’d had a particularly shitty day behind the bar one night. I finished my shift and went back to my locker. I saw the photo I’d taken of you on our failed road trip. We’d been together what, five, six months? But as I stared at that photo, I could barely remember what life was like before you. That was the night that I decided to tell you,” Stan brought my hands to his lips and kissed my fingers. “You were my constant. You were worth living for. You deserved to know. But I was so scared and so ashamed. I wanted to tell you over the phone but I chickened out. I wrote you a letter but I didn’t know when I was going to give it to you.” I rubbed Stan’s hand with my thumb encouragingly.

  “You didn’t come home that night. I was worried sick. Then a British guy comes out of nowhere and shows me security footage of that bastard shooting you in the head,” he spat. “Suddenly, I was back in my dark place, deeper than ever before. But Mortimer… he saved me. He took me to Dante, who told me there was a way to bring you back. I had to kill that… thing, Tor. He was a monster who looked like a human. All I had to do was let him shoot me with a special gun,” Stan looked at me pleadingly, pulling my hands towards him. “I know I sound crazy, but look Rose! You’re here, you’re back. It worked.”

  My thumb left an imprint on Stan’s hand as I pulled my hands away. I balled them into fists as my body shook with unrelenting fury.

  “Rose? Are you OK?”

  The obstacle is the way…

  I forced myself to relax, inhaling and slowly releasing the anger that consumed me. The damage was irreversible. My man had been used as a pawn in a game he had no idea he was part of. Well not anymore. This was going to end today. I crossed my hands and rested them on my knees as I braced myself.

  “At the end of the letter, you asked me a question,” Stan froze. His eyes were wide, equal parts fear and hope. “You asked me whether I would still love you no matter what way, shape or form you came in.” Stan stared at me like his heart had stopped beating as it waited for my response. I brought my face close to his.

  “You could tell me you identified as a fire truck and I would still love you,” I said in a deadpan voice. Stan blinked. My face gave nothing away. Then I couldn’t help it. I let myself smile. Stan blinked and for the first time since I died, I saw him smile again. We laughed, cried and kissed. All the while, my Lucent Gun grew warmer and warmer against my hip. I snuck a peek down at it. It pulsed with a gentle, golden light; it was time. I pulled away from Stan as he playfully leaned forward trying to kiss me more.

  “Stan, wait. There’s something I have to show you,” he stopped and looked at me with concerned eyes again. My Lucent Gun was warm and inviting as I drew it out, laying it flat on my hands. Stan stared at it, entranced by the throbbing light.

  “Dante told you that if he shot you with his special gun, you would gain the power to defeat Tor. Well guess what…” the Lucent gun illuminated my face as I looked up at Stan. “I’ve got one too.”

  “What does your special gun do?” He asked. The tears were threatening to spill. I closed my eyes and thought for a moment.

  “When a major truth is revealed by a pure heart, the gun will grant them the ability to… make one person’s wish come true,” I said as my heart broke. “All they have to do is shoot that person while making the wish.” He ga
ve me a dubious look, eyeing the glowing gun suspiciously. “I’ll wish that you could become a woman.” I added. Stan’s eyes lit up, but he still looked unsure.

  “Do you trust me?” I said in mock annoyance.

  Stan looked solemnly at me and nodded. We stood up. I took a step back and pointed the gun straight at Stan’s head. Tears streamed down my face as he closed his eyes. I was happy; he finally looked at peace. We stood there for a minute, maybe more. I didn’t want to shoot yet; it looked like wanted to say something.

  “I love you,” he smiled. Stan’s head shot back. He stumbled and crumpled to the floor, light shining from a gaping hole in his head. The light from my Lucent Gun started fading almost immediately as my tears of joy turned to horror. Slowly, I looked behind me. Tor stared at me with a hard expression on his face, Lucent Gun pointing where Stan stood. Smoke filtered out from the barrel as its light dissipated. His expression was unreadable as he stepped out of the room.

  I ran to Stan’s side, cradling his head. A faint barrier of light had appeared around his body. Neither of us said a word as the light became more and more opaque. He ran a hand imbued with light down my face and collected a tear with his finger.

  “You really are the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” he whispered - then Stan was no more.

  Twenty-Six

  “Deliverers welcome.” Death said as he surveyed the people in the room. Everyone met his eyes as he reached them except for me. Tracy nudged me slightly so that I would snap out of it but to no avail. She smiled apologetically at Death, who nodded knowingly in response.

  “I have called this Regroup today to celebrate the success of the most recent mission. As always, it was fraught with danger and while there were several close calls, the objective was accomplished: the Ceasing of Stan Butcher.” Death said this without any hesitation. Everyone else in the room seemed to become tense as they threw furtive glances in my direction. The angel continued.

  “This was Rose’s first mission at the helm. I admit that I hesitated to let her lead, not only because of her relative inexperience but also due to the personal nature of the mission. Despite this, she has stood up and validated my choosing of her to become a Deliverer.” Everyone was now looking squarely in my direction. Tracy squeezed my hand encouragingly. I looked up at Death and forced a smile.

  “Usually, the person who led the mission would recount it now, but I understand if–”

  “No, it’s OK,” I slowly stood, pushing my chair back. “I’m fine.” I looked down at Tracy and gave her a genuine if tired smile. From her, I moved to Silas, Walter, Agatha then Tor. He held my gaze for a moment then pretended to notice something on the wall behind me. I looked back at Death and began my recount.

  “We were able to enter the premises by hitching onto the back of a truck. It took us straight to the dock from which the Tormented planned to leave Melbourne for their next destination on a cargo ship. They had set a trap for us. Several of the shipping containers were filled with Conflicted. The Tormented set them upon us, attempting to flush us out. We were able to evade them for a while, but eventually, we were left with no choice but to face them.” I looked to Silas, who watched me intently as I spoke.

  “Silas selflessly gave up his own position just as the Conflicted had begun to corner us. He drew their attention away and gave us time to get into a stronger position. At this point, the Mortimer and Matylda appeared. Just as they were about to attack, Walter arrived as back up.” I glanced at the senior Deliverer, who nodded with a slight smile on his face.

  “With him with us, we were able to secure the site. That allowed me to board the cargo ship just as it had left the port.” I stopped here momentarily, swaying slightly. After Stan had been Ceased, Tor had taken control of the ship and steered it back to the port. I cried as much as my heart would allow. Death moved towards me concern etched on his face. I raised a hand to wave him away. Exhaling slowly, I resumed.

  “I started in the depths of the ship and had to find where Stan was. I had an idea: make my way up to the deck and fire my weapon. That would get his attention and allow me to speak with him.” Tor now looked at me. For the first time since I met him, I saw trepidation in his eyes.

  “That didn’t go according to plan. We had moved into a storm cell that made so much noise that neither Stan nor Tor could hear me fire my gun. By chance, I had found Stan. He was dueling with Tor. I fired at Stan, temporarily incapacitating him. This allowed Tor to get away.” The room was silent. No one dared speak as they waited for me.

  “I went into the room and confronted Stan. I spoke with him and convinced him that he had defeated Tor. This allowed us to speak about the Truth that led to his Torment. From what he told me, it appeared that the Tormented had manipulated his grief by showing him footage of Tor shooting me. This rendered him insane and highly suggestible to their recommendation of turning him into a Tormented.” I put my hands flat on the table in front of me as I felt myself starting to lose my composure. I shook my head as I saw Tracy out of my eye move towards me.

  “I revealed the Truth to him and gave him the answer to his Torment. Tor also heard my answer from his hiding spot. I was going to Cease Stan but I… hesitated. Tor stepped in and Ceased Stan for me.” I sat down and crossed my hands over my knees. The room was silent; no one knew how to respond. Walter looked at Death uncomfortably, raising his eyebrows while looking pointedly at me.

  “The first mission is never easy for anyone, let alone one where the objective is to Cease a Tormented,” Death looked at me approvingly. “Rose, because of you, Dante has been weakened. Having one less Tormented to support him is a huge setback for his cause, whatever it may be. So thank you.” Death started clapping. The other Deliverers joined him in applause. I looked around, smiling politely at everyone. My eyes met with Tor’s across the table; he averted his eyes.

  For the rest of the Regroup, I leaned on the table and cradled my head, not hearing anything anyone else said. I was too busy trying not to fall apart as my mind endlessly replayed Stan smiling up at me moments before he disappeared from my life forever.

  I was making my way down the steps as fast as my tired legs would allow. Suddenly, I stopped in my tracks and took a few steps back. I stood in front of the wooden door to The Room and rested my forehead against it. Running my fingers over the gnarled wood, I thought of where I wanted to be. I opened the door and quietly slipped in.

  I was back in my tiny studio apartment in Melbourne. The clock on the wall told me it was half past eleven while the moonbeams streaming in through the open balcony told me it was night time. My bed – our bed – lay in pristine condition. I paused for a second then decided to throw caution to the wind. I jumped onto the bed and lay on it spread eagled. I giggled stupidly to myself before turning to my left to look out the balcony.

  A sickle moon hung low and imperious in the sky, just like the night I was shot. Stan would have just started his shift. How he kept it together when he was imploding from the inside, I would never know. I closed my eyes and dozed off, letting my weary spirit rest.

  Something had woken me up I don’t know how long I slept for. The moon was gone, but it was still dark. I squinted but I couldn’t see the clock on the wall. I heard the door click shut behind me; I smiled.

  “Welcome home, baby. How was work?”

  Stan didn’t respond. He walked to his side of the bed and didn’t get in. After a moment, he sat down. The bed sunk more than it usually did; my smile faded. I pulled the blankets closer around myself.

  I could feel his eyes on my back as he searched for a way to get through to me. He leaned over and tugged the blanket higher so that my neck wasn’t exposed to the chill breeze that had snuck in.

  “What do you want?” I demanded.

  Tor sat there, not saying anything. After a while, he decided to lie down next to me. I pulled away from him as he inched towards me. He sighed as he lay there, staring up at the ceiling. It felt like hours had passed; neither of
us said a word. A lone bird chirped outside, ushering the start of a new day.

  “I hesitated once,” Tor uttered quietly. I didn’t move, pretending I was asleep. “I was in an alleyway; I had cornered Mortimer. Then something unplanned happened: a woman arrived.” His pillow rustled as he turned his head slightly in my direction.

  “Mortimer held her hostage and I… I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t shoot him. What if I shot her? She was an innocent that would die because of me,” I continued to give him no sign that I was listening; he continued telling his story.

  “Then that bastard did it. He pulled the trigger on her. He turned her into one of them and he escaped. I… I’ve hated myself so much since that moment.

  “It was so much easier to shoot once my gun was pointed at a Conflicted. It was the reason why I existed. I told myself that it was a slip-up and that I wouldn’t let it happen again.

  “Then when that woman became a Deliverer, I was… happy. Somehow, I had been given a second chance. I would be able to atone for my mistake and prove that I wouldn’t hesitate the second time around.”

  “He was harmless you fool!” I yelled, jumping out of bed and eyes blazing down at Tor. He looked up at me, taken aback at my sudden outburst. “Didn’t you see that his gun was in the corner of the room? Didn’t you hear me persuade him that he had Ceased you? Didn’t you hear anything else I said to him besides the Truth?” I jumped on the bed and grabbed him by the collar, pulling his face into mine.

  “No, all you were listening for was the reason for his Torment so that you would be able to Cease him because you wanted to prove something to yourself. Well, congratulations. By doing this, you’ve taken away my right to take away the life of the person I loved. He was the reason I became a Deliverer. If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t be here. Now he’s gone forever and I didn’t get to say goodbye.” I threw Tor back down onto the bed and dealt him a stinging slap across his face. I jumped off and stormed out of The Room, slamming the door behind me.