Love's Someday

by Robin Alexander

  “Can I help with the salad?” Erica moved to the counter.

  “Sure, peel and slice that cucumber for me,” her mother said, passing her a peeler and a knife.

  Erica went to work on the cucumber and moved on to the tomatoes before either of them broke the silence.

  “You know, sometimes it’s good to get out of your element and mull things over,” Faye said, watching Erica from the corner of her eye.

  “I lost it on Dad today,” Erica said, not looking up from her task.

  “That’s not such a bad thing, is it?”

  “It makes me feel weak in front of him.”

  Faye dried her hands and tucked an unruly strand of hair behind Erica’s ear. “I’ve seen your dad break down a dozen times. He’s never been weak in my eyes.”

  Erica stopped slicing and looked at her mother. “He cried and babbled like an idiot?”

  “Cried, babbled, and slobbered. The first time was when you drove your bike off the ramp you and Kaitlyn built. When we brought you home from the hospital covered in stitches, missing two teeth, and a cast on your arm, he had to go in the other room while I put you to bed. I found him staring down at his bloodied T-shirt crying like a baby.”

  “I just…” Erica’s voice faded as she slowly cut a tomato, needing something to focus on. “I’m just afraid of looking weak in front of him. I’m supposed to be running his company. What if he thinks I can’t handle it?”

  “There’s never been any doubt in his mind that you were capable. That won’t change with you being upset over Ashleigh.” Faye pulled three glasses from the cabinet. “Your dad shocked me today when he called and told me the news.” She looked at Erica disapprovingly for a second. “You should’ve at least told us. Is it really over, honey, or is this something y’all are going to work through?”

  Erica laid the knife down and leaned heavily against the counter. “I’m not really sure. I expected her to come back the next day. She’s still gone.”

  “Do want her to come back?” Faye filled the glasses with ice.

  “I think so.” Erica turned and looked at Faye.

  “You think so?”

  “I don’t know,” Erica said in frustration as she slid the tomatoes into the bowl and mixed the salad. “I’m kind of afraid that she won’t want to come back. I don’t want to confront that right now.”

  Bob opened the back door and asked Faye for a pan. He handed it back to her with the first batch of fried fish. “Give me ten minutes and we’ll be ready,” he said as Faye handed him another beer.

  Faye turned back to her daughter when the door closed. “Erica—”

  “Mom, I need a break from it all right now. I’ve talked and thought about this all day, and I just can’t do it anymore.”

  “I understand.” Faye kissed Erica’s cheek. “I’m here whenever you are ready to talk, and so is your dad. Although, he is a ‘surface thinker’ like you are,” she said with a grin.

  “So he told me.” Erica returned the smile.

  Erica enjoyed dinner and time with her parents, but when it was time for bed, she was more than ready to be alone. In the darkened room, she curled on her side looking at the tiny slivers of moonlight coming through the blinds. She tossed and turned in the unfamiliar bed longing for her home, even though it was empty.

  She remembered when she had first asked Ashleigh out.

  They were standing in the hospital parking lot. Ashleigh had hung around, even though her shift had ended an hour before Erica was patched up. They had just met, but Erica didn’t want Ashleigh to slip away without the promise of seeing her again. Erica stood there as Ashleigh leaned against her car looking at her with something akin to amusement.

  Her heart pounded in her chest as she tried to think of a smooth way to ask Ashleigh for her number. “I…uh…can I call you sometime?” She had gotten it out there but was unable to look Ashleigh in the eye. “Maybe we could go out for coffee or dinner.”

  “I’d like that,” Ashleigh said. Erica watched as Ashleigh’s hand shook slightly while she wrote her number on her cast. “I work every other weekend, but I’m off this weekend.”

  “Are you busy tomorrow night?” Erica asked, emboldened by what appeared to be eagerness on Ashleigh’s part.

  “Nope,” Ashleigh answered with a smile.

  “If I picked you up at seven, would that give you enough time to get home from work?”

  “Plenty of time,” Ashleigh said as she plucked a piece of paper from her purse and scribbled on it. “This is my address. I didn’t think you wanted me to write that on your cast too.”

  Erica’s heart was still hammering in her chest, but not from nerves this time. Excitement coursed through her veins as she thought about spending the evening with Ashleigh. “I’ll see you then,” she said, backing away and trying not to trip over her own feet as she did.

  The scratching of a branch against the windowpane brought Erica back to the present and with it pain and confusion that she could hardly bear. Her mother’s question played through her mind: Do you want her to come back? The answer was simple—yes. But would she?

  Chapter Twenty-nine

  Erica watched as Kaitlyn and Drew walked into the crowded banquet room. She’d not seen Kaitlyn since her dad had whisked her off to the camp. She would not have attended the company banquet if she hadn’t felt obligated to do so. As if Kaitlyn felt her stare, she turned and glanced her way. Erica nodded, acknowledging her presence.

  “Don’t harbor animosity toward her, honey.” Faye rested her hand on Erica’s lower back as she came to stand next to her. “Your dad confronted her, she didn’t come to him.”

  “I know, Mom.” Erica leaned into her mother’s embrace. “I just don’t want to have that talk with her tonight.”

  “Too much going on in your mind?” Faye asked with a kind smile.

  And too much emotion running close to the surface, Erica wanted to say. Instead she nodded and watched as Kaitlyn and Drew took their seats at the table.

  Bob gestured for Erica and Faye to take their seats next to him at the head of the table, then spoke, drawing everyone’s attention. “By now, you’ve all noticed that I haven’t been around much. I’ve decided to retire and leave the operation in Erica’s hands.” It was Kaitlyn who led the applause. “Now no need to sound so happy about that,” Bob continued, causing the group to laugh.

  He turned and looked at Erica with a proud smile. “I have no doubt that I’ve left you all in capable hands. She’s handled the role as vice president for some time now, and it’s time she stepped into the president’s shoes.” Another round of applause filled the room.

  “And though I wanted her to make this announcement herself, she’s asked me to tell you that Kaitlyn Marshall will take over as vice president, a move that I wholeheartedly support.” The last part of Bob’s statement was drowned out by shouts of congratulations and applause.

  Kaitlyn’s face registered complete shock as she looked over at Erica.

  After service awards were presented and the group began mingling, Erica made her way slowly toward Kaitlyn and Drew. “You could’ve told us beforehand,” Drew said, pulling Erica in for a hug. Erica looked over her shoulder at Kaitlyn, who still looked stunned.

  When Drew released her, she pulled Kaitlyn in for a hug. Kaitlyn squeezed her tightly and whispered against her ear, “I’m so sorry.”

  Erica held her for a second longer and whispered back, “You’re forgiven. We’ll talk about it later. The position comes with a nice raise,” Erica said with a smile when she released Kaitlyn. “Now Drew can add more fountains to the yard.” She laughed when Kaitlyn glared at her.

  “We’re going out for drinks with some of the guys after this.” Drew tugged at the lapels of Erica’s jacket. “Why don’t you come with us? Bring your mom and dad, too.”

  Erica involuntarily winced. The last thing she wanted to do was socialize. She’d been with her parents since her dad had picked her up with only a short repr
ieve when they dropped her off at home to dress for the banquet. What she wanted and needed was time alone to sort out things for herself, and Kaitlyn obviously picked up on that vibe.

  “You need some time alone, don’t you?” she asked with a slight smile.

  Drew rubbed her stomach. “If we had any sense, we’d call it a night too. I’m already feeling queasy after only two drinks.” Drew gave Erica a playful shove. “You run along. Me and the vice prez here will take care of the troops.”

  With Kaitlyn and Drew distracting Faye and Bob Barrett, Erica slipped out of the banquet hall and climbed into her Forerunner. She glanced over at the bag on her floorboard and felt a slight pang of guilt for at least not letting Kaitlyn in on her plan. Her parents would be staying at their home in St. Francisville, which would mean unexpected visits since they now knew everything going on in her life. They meant well, but Erica had been doing a lot of soul searching and she wanted time alone to sort things herself. She headed south on Highway 61 to Baton Rouge.

  Ashleigh stood in the shadows and looked out over the crowd. The club was filled to capacity. Lindsay had said earlier that they had already begun turning people away. She looked for familiar faces but saw none. Drew was sick with a stomach virus, and she and Kaitlyn apologized for not being able to attend. She knew that Erica wouldn’t bother, and that stole away some of her excitement about playing a full show.

  She’d had too much time to think, and her nerves were wreaking havoc. To add to her misery, she’d sent Erica a few text messages the night before that had gone unanswered. Erica had mentioned that she had the company banquet to attend on Friday, but it didn’t explain why she didn’t reply on Saturday.

  Ashleigh turned as an arm came to rest at her waist. Vicki smiled at her and looked out over the horde of people waiting for them to begin. “You okay?”

  “I’m good.” Ashleigh leaned into Vicki.

  “Chantal is having a wardrobe malfunction. She split the crotch of her pants and is blaming the doughnut she had a week ago.”

  Ashleigh laughed for the first time that day; it felt good and calmed her nerves.

  “We have about five minutes until they dim the lights,” Vicki said with a squeeze. “I’m going to leave you alone. I still remember how you like to be by yourself right before we go on. Remember your breathing.” Vicki called over her shoulder as she walked away.

  Ashleigh closed her eyes and began her breathing exercises. “I can do this,” she said between each breath.

  Erica noticed Lindsay moving through the crowd and ducked into a darkened recess. She’d managed to get in without seeing anyone she recognized. She took a long swallow of bourbon and sighed as it burned through her and made her head a little light. She’d wisely left her vehicle at the hotel to avoid anyone recognizing it, but as the alcohol coursed through her, she appreciated the decision even more.

  The throng of people around Erica roared with applause as the lights dimmed. She ordered another drink and moved to a spot that gave her full view of the stage, but far enough away to avoid being noticed. Sound and light shook her when the introduction ended, and there stood Ashleigh. Erica’s heart felt as though it fluttered against her ribs.

  Dressed in a snug-fitting black button-down shirt and faded jeans, Ashleigh was stunning. Her light brown hair shimmered under the stage lights. She moved her hips with the beat of the music as she sang and looked into the crowd. Erica unconsciously moved behind a couple as they danced, feeling as though Ashleigh was staring directly at her.

  Erica watched every move, heard every note delivered perfectly. Ashleigh was good, excellent actually. She marveled at her talent, forgetting for a moment that it had come between them. The room was charged with energy fueled by the excitement of the crowd, and at its epicenter was Ashleigh. Her face glowed with a confidence that Erica had not seen before—that was it. This was the part of Ashleigh she didn’t know, and it was intimidating.

  Erica ordered another drink and found an empty stool at the corner of the bar where she sat in the shadows rubbing the cool glass against her temple. The revelation made her feel weak. Yes, the betrayal had been difficult, but was this really the crux of it?

  She looked back at the stage, this time seeing the woman she’d fallen in love with. Envisioning Ashleigh’s dirt-smudged face as they worked together in their yard, the way she looked the night she had asked her out for the first time. Her throaty voice caressed Erica’s ears and stirred something within her soul, making her crave to feel Ashleigh’s body molded to hers again.

  Lost in her longing, she was startled when the music stopped and the crowd erupted in applause. A few lights came on, illuminating the floor as the band exited the stage. Ashleigh’s hand was in Alex’s. The crowd remained, expecting the encore that Erica could not stay for. She moved quickly through the throng of people and into the parking lot without looking back.

  Erica’s head swam from the effects of the bourbon and her last sight of Ashleigh clinging to Alex. Had she waited too long to realize that she wanted the Ashleigh she knew and the woman she was now? Erica called for a cab and leaned against the cold building that held Ashleigh inside, feeling like there was a million miles separating them.

  Ashleigh had never been claustrophobic, but the crowd around her made her feel like a caged animal. The after party was too reminiscent of how things were twenty years before. She’d come off the stage on a high, wanting, needing someone to expend that energy with. And in a room packed with people all praising her for a job well done, she felt lonely, empty.

  The bar was closed, but the private party and its guests filled the bottom floor. Ashleigh found herself wandering aimlessly. Vicki and Chantal took turns pulling her onto the dance floor, but all she really wanted to do was go home. Home. She wasn’t sure where that was anymore.

  She watched as Alex danced with a different partner to nearly every song that played. Ashleigh realized that even though time had passed nothing had really changed. She was still the same girl searching for something to ground her in all the wrong places.

  “Save me,” someone whispered against her ear as fingers wrapped around her arm. Alex was tugging her onto the dance floor. “If I have to dance with another ass-grabber, I’m gonna scream.”

  Janet Jackson’s “That’s the Way Love Goes” began as they walked onto the crowded floor, and Ashleigh’s heart sank into her stomach. The beat was slow and sexy, and she knew Alex’s body would be pressed snugly against hers as they danced. It was no big deal, she’d danced this way with Jaclyn a few minutes before, but then again, she’d never experienced the things she had with her that she had with Alex.

  “Having a good time?” Alex asked against her ear. It sent chills down her spine, even though Alex only did it to be heard over the music.

  “Yes,” Ashleigh lied. “You?”

  “No, I’d like to be home on my couch with a bag of potato chips.”

  Ashleigh found some comfort in Alex’s shared misery. What she found discomforting was the way Alex’s body fit with hers. And the way Alex’s firm back felt beneath her fingers. She told herself there was nothing wrong in appreciating how Alex’s toned body felt under her touch. Or the way her strong arms held her. Then it occurred to her that she’d never danced with Erica like this. She’d always shied away from the dance floor; it brought back memories she fought to keep suppressed. Erica had pleaded but was always denied. Ashleigh could only imagine the betrayal Erica would feel if she saw her now. Ashleigh went rigid.

  “Something wrong?” Alex asked.

  Ashleigh pulled away and made a weak attempt at a smile. “I’m exhausted. Do you think anyone would be upset with me if I called a cab?”

  Alex looked at her strangely for a second. “I would, unless you were going to offer to share.”

  “I just want a shower and to sleep.” Ashleigh took a step back.

  Alex smiled and took her hand. When they exited the building, she felt like she could breathe again. “Do you think
Chantal and Vicki will be upset that we didn’t tell them we’re leaving?”

  “I’ll send them a text message after I call a cab.” Alex pulled out her phone. “I have a cab company programmed in my speed dial. This isn’t the first time I ditched a party.”

  Ashleigh blew out a sigh of relief and leaned against the cool brick of the building and hoped that Alex wouldn’t offer to stay and chat when they got home. She needed her distance from everyone, especially Alex.

  When the cab arrived, Ashleigh sank into the seat, hoping the cabbie would take the most direct route. Alex seemed to be on the same wavelength and leaned forward, giving directions to the shortcut. They were in Vicki and Chantal’s driveway within ten minutes.

  “Chantal texted me back,” Alex said as she followed Ashleigh up the walk. “They’re gonna be leaving soon too. If you don’t mind, I’ll just cut through the house to the back. I can’t wait to get home and get out of these smelly clothes.”

  Ashleigh felt relieved and a little guilty that she didn’t invite Alex to stay. “Do you want me to walk with you part of the way? It’s kind of late.”

  Alex opened the back door and stepped onto the patio. “No, I’ll be fine. Thank you for rescuing me tonight.”

  “My pleasure,” Ashleigh replied, and for a fleeting moment, it had been a pleasure to have been in Alex’s arms. Ashleigh felt an embarrassed blush creep over her face.

  Alex brushed her cheek with a friendly kiss, turned, and walked away. “Good night,” she called out as she made her way into the darkness.

  Ashleigh made a beeline for her room where she stripped off her clothes, eager to be rid of the smell of sweat and Alex’s perfume that caused conflicting feelings to bounce around her brain. It was just a dance. She hadn’t done anything wrong, but she felt miserable just the same.

  Ashleigh awoke early the next morning and grabbed her cell phone, a habit she’d developed as of late. No new messages. She chewed at her bottom lip for a moment and called home. No answer. Next she dialed Erica’s cell phone, and it went promptly to voice mail. It was turned off. Without giving herself time to think, she rose from the bed and showered. She was on the road to St. Francisville thirty minutes later, not taking the time to even dry her hair.