Safe With Me, Part 8 (The End)

by Shaina Richmond

  Matt's voice startled me. "So she's really coming back today?"

  "That's what she said."

  He let out a loud sigh. "God, I hope she'll talk to me."

  I turned around and saw him staring down at a picture. When I walked over, I saw it was a picture of a man sitting at a desk. "So, is that your dad?"

  He nodded. "Yeah. This was his office at the church."

  "Is that why she goes to church?"

  He let out a light chuckle. "She goes to church?"

  "Yeah, sometimes. I think."

  "Shit, after what happened I can't imagine she'd ever go back. I sure don't." His eyes quickly met mine. "Don't tell Lydia."

  I laughed for a few moments. "So, what happened exactly? If you don't mind telling me."

  He breathed deeply. "Well, basically, she got caught up in this racket." He shook his head, staring at the picture. "I realize now it wasn't her fault but at the time I didn't know any better. She never should've been left alone with those sleazebags. It was supposed to be some special youth Bible study at the pastor's house. Conveniently, every Friday night when the only person home was their twenty-four-year-old son." His eyes rolled. "Someone should've checked on what was happening in that basement."

  "A basement?"

  "Yeah, I know. You see, Mom and Dad both worked a lot." He flipped to the next picture. It was his dad again. "Mom had two part time jobs. Dad was an associate pastor at the church part time, and the rest of the time he ran a forklift at a warehouse. So, they were both busy. Relied on friends and relatives to babysit a lot." His eyes got sad when he turned to the next picture. It was his dad again, talking to a few other men. "We went to this really big church where there was always some kind of kids’ event, so we got dropped off there a lot. Any kind of youth function, that was free babysitting, you know? But someone should've checked on her. No one had any idea. That's why Dad and a bunch of other people got fired, including the head pastor. The church board held 'em all responsible. I remember us dropping her off at Pastor Haney's giant house. Looked like a mansion to me back then." He chuckled, sadly. "Then he'd take me to the church where I'd play with all my friends on Friday night."

  "What about your other sister?"

  "She was busy with something at school. This whole thing went on for maybe two months." His mouth slowly formed a frown. "Tabby's the one who kinda busted the whole thing by accident. At church one day she noticed Susie seemed a little too comfortable with Elliot, the pastor's son, and his friend, Jerry." He huffed. "Anyway, I didn't know most of this till later. Tabby said something to Mom. They found out Elliot's youth group was a big lie. All I remember is, a few days later, Mom picked me up early from school, acting all worried, then we went to the high school to get Tabby. We went directly to our aunt and uncle's house to spend the night. I heard you met our cousin Ashley. That's where she lived."

  "Was she involved in it, too?"

  "No. Her family moved a little further away and went to another church. We think Susie told her about it while it was going on though. Ashley acted real weird that night." He sighed. "Anyway, I didn't know everything was about to change like that. Uncle Mark took us back home the next day, and that's when Mom told us Susie didn't live there anymore." He got a little choked up at the end of his sentence.

  Suddenly, we heard the front door open.

  Matt's eyes widened. He took a step toward the hallway, then stopped. "Wonder if that's her."

  "Come on," I said. "Let's go see. Don't be nervous." I looked around the room, curious why she'd keep all this stuff. Surely, she missed him, too, even if she didn't realize it.

  Susie

  Wednesday, February 2, 2011

  1:40 PM

  "Now, just calm down," Lydia said. "There's no reason to get so angry."

  I forgot how much more she looked like Mom in person than in pictures. She was so much thinner now; sickly, compared to her recent pictures. Her thick, chin-length brunette hair was a little whiter than when I last saw her in person five years earlier. She wore thick glasses, but her tears were evident.

  With her arms extended, she walked toward me. “Oh, sweetheart, I’ve been so worried.”

  I shook my head and, like a reflex, put my hands up in front of me to keep her away. Tears rolled down my face but mine were out of rage. "This is a complete violation! I own this house. You have no right to be here, going through my stuff."

  She stopped in her tracks, her eyes narrowing with that accusing look. The same one she gave me every time I got in trouble when she looked after me as a teenager. This was the very look that reminded me just how different she was from Mom. “It was my house first and I didn’t sign it over to you so you could live this way.”

  I narrowed my eyes right back at her, my tears suddenly drying. “But you did sign the house over and I have the right to live however I want.”

  She raised one finger, pointing at me, pursing her lips like an old school teacher. Once again, nothing like her gentler twin. “No. You’re out of control and you need help."

  “Help? How? I don’t care what you think you’re doing. I want you outta here. This is my house.”

  Lydia’s sternness continued for only another moment, slowly giving way to more tears. She ran forward before I could block her, placing her hands on my cheeks. “Susie.” She stopped for a breath, then gaped at me with agony, or maybe even pity. Her voice was soft. “Oh, Priscilla's sweet little girl.”

  For a second, I just knew I would crumble into hysteria. The way she said Mom’s name… But my anger quickly regained its foothold. There was nothing wholesome or nice about what she was doing. I struggled to keep my tone calm and respectful. I didn’t even try to move my face out of her delicate grasp. “Aunt Lydia, I love you, but I don’t need your help. What you’re doing is crazy. And mean. And illegal. And trust me, you don’t wanna be arrested.”

  “Nobody knew where you were. What if you disappeared and we had to find important documents? Nobody has any idea where you keep anything.”

  “I have a wealth manager who knows where everything is and she'll take care of it. I just needed a day to rest and get some business in order after what happened. I don't deserve to have my property violated like this.”

  Lydia took her hands from my face and stepped back. "You went to jail."

  "So?"

  She shrugged sarcastically. "Do you not understand the seriousness of your situation?"

  "What situation?" I asked. "The charges were dropped. I'm fine." Her bewildered expression urged me to continue. I laughed. "It was only a county jail. For one night! It's not the worst place I've ever stayed." I glared into her wide eyes. "What? I'm a hardened criminal now?"

  She shook her head. "You have no idea how worried I've been."

  I sighed. "I wasn't out of touch for that long. I didn't disappear. I had to turn off my phone because I was exhausted and I'm getting all these harassing calls—"

  Lydia interrupted me, her voice breaking. "I never should’ve given you this house and left you all alone. Your mother would be so angry with me.” She wiped her face with her hand and continued to speak. “You can’t go on like this." She glanced randomly around the room. "You hide so many things. I had no idea where you were and I thought maybe I'd find a clue in here somewhere.”

  I heard someone walk in the room behind me. Lydia stopped talking and looked back at the person.

  I was just about to turn around when I heard an unfamiliar male voice.

  “Susie?”

  It took a second to register. My brother was twelve the last time I heard his voice in person. Somehow, I knew it was him.

  I stayed perfectly still and shut my eyes, my chest so tight I could barely breathe. “Why are you doing this to me?”

  “Doing what?” Lydia asked. "Doing what's best for you? Finally?"

  I kept my eyes closed. A hand touched my shoulder and I pulled away from it. "Don't touch me."

  "Susie." Matt's voice was soft. "Please look
at me. Please."

  Shallow breaths…just keep breathing…

  "Come on, Susie." He pleaded. "It's been so long. Please."

  I shook my head and put my hand over my eyes as I stared down at his feet. I was desperate not to look at him, as if seeing his face would make my already-collapsing world tumble down around me that much quicker. With my hand obstructing my vision, I ran out to the hallway where I almost bumped into Tyler. When I looked up, his eyes bore into mine for a brief moment.

  Pity. That's what I saw. He pitied me. From the corner of my eye I saw his hand reach out like he wanted to touch me, but I kept going.

  Footsteps were gaining on me. Hands grabbed my shoulders as I went for the doorknob.

  "Please!" Matt's grip was strong, holding me still. "Please."

  My eyes were set on the door in front of me. I kept my voice calm. "Let me go."

  "Only if you turn around."

  "No." I tried to shrug out of his grasp. "I don't owe you anything. I've tried to make life comfortable for both of you. Now please, let me go and make sure you're gone when I get back."

  "We didn't mean to hurt you, Susie. Please don't punish us forever." His voice began to tremble. "I'd give you back every penny if I got to be your brother again."

  I used my hand to shove away the tears that suddenly flooded my cheeks. Matt took his hands away, and I turned around.

  He was taller than I expected. My eyes came to his chin. He still had that coarse dark hair, cropped close to his scalp or he'd have thick curls everywhere.

  Lydia was beside him, poised to interject an opinion. Tyler stood a slight distance away.

  Matt broke the silence. His voice was on the edge of cracking. "Tabby couldn't make it. She's having a rough pregnancy and she's not allowed to fly."

  Yeah, I know. I already paid the bill. "You need to get out of my house."

  Lydia hands were on her hips. "You're being unreasonable. It's obvious you still love your family. We were shocked by what we found in the back bedroom."

  Shit! Breathe…breathe… "What the fuck were you doing in there?"

  Matt and Lydia glanced at each other, confused. Matt said, "How'd you get all that stuff? You have everything. All the pictures. Toys. The first—"

  "I know what's back there," I said. "Doesn't change anything. You need to get out of my house."

  Tyler stepped forward. "Susie, maybe you should just sit down and talk." He shot look at Matt. "Just you and your brother. Alone."

  I caught myself before screaming at him to stay the fuck out of my business. I breathed deeply to calm myself, then said to Tyler, "There's a whole lot you don't know."

  "I know he feels bad about what happened," Tyler said. "Please, just think about talking to him."

  I looked down at the floor, my blood pressure rising by the second.

  Lydia started to talk but it was all noise to me. There was something I knew I needed to show them and it could no longer wait.

  The noise continued around me as I walked to the downstairs bedroom to unlock one of the dressers. I quickly pulled out a small, laminated sheet that I'd hidden in a tin of antique playing cards, then walked straight to the back bedroom. It gave me the creeps to walk inside that room again, but I had no choice. The things in that room that were meant to be locked away and forgotten, and maybe someday I'd toss them in a metal barrel with gasoline and a lit match. But until then, they were simply hidden.

  Lydia kept talking, lecturing me about family and forgiveness. I continued to ignore her as I opened the closet and knelt down on the floor to open the safe with the combination I held in my hand. I owned five fireproof safes, four of them hidden strategically throughout my house. Two had copies of my most important documents, all of which were also on file elsewhere. The biggest safe had a large quantity of gold and silver coins, as well as fifty thousand dollars in cash, just in case the banks ever had a complete meltdown and I needed money to get through for a while. The safe behind the mirror in my walk-in closet was empty except for a few collectibles, my good jewelry, and most recently, the keys to all of my rooms. I needed a new hiding place after Tyler found them so easily on Saturday.

  The safe in the back room was the only one I never bothered to hide. The delivery guys put it on the closet floor in plain sight. I left it there, hoping I'd never have to see it again. I just jammed some crap inside, closed it, and left. But the contents were crystal clear in my mind.

  When I opened it, the first thing I pulled out was a silver-framed picture. Three small children, crowded around Mom in front of a Christmas tree. She was sitting, holding Matt in her lap. Tabby and I were on either side. All of us were smiling. The little blond-haired girl with a missing front tooth looked so out of place. She always did.

  I handed the picture up to Matt, who stood over me. "Here. Mom used to keep it on her nightstand." I pulled out a few other keepsakes — a small jewelry box and another framed picture of only me, Matt, and Tabby — and then I pulled out a manila envelope that held the reason I charged inside the room.

  I tore the envelope open and stood up. The first thing I found inside was a thin stack of letters bound together with a rubber band. I handed them to Matt. "Remember these?"

  He squinted at the post mark then looked at me in disbelief. "I'm sorry. How much do I have to apologize? We were immature. We lost our parents and our sister and we didn't know how to handle it."

  Lydia took the letters from his hand. "You're supposed to forgive and forget. We've been over this."

  "Half-sister," I said to Matt. "You lost your half-sister." I ignored Lydia. Yes, the entire time I lived with her, she lectured me about forgiving those two for their letters telling me I'd ruined their lives. I'd subjected them to a public scandal that led to me being kicked out of the house, then Mom's stay in a mental hospital, and then Dad eventually killing both Mom and himself.

  But those letters weren't the reason we didn't speak. The reason was still in that envelope.

  Matt eyes were full of tears. "I'm so sorry. I know we hurt you. We blamed you for a long time and we were—" He stopped talking when I shoved another letter in his face. It was open and unfolded. The ink bled into the paper a little but the words were legible. He stayed perfectly still as he gently took it from my hand. His voice was quiet. "How'd you get this?"

  I shrugged. "Doesn't matter."

  Lydia pushed her head forward, eyes intent on the letter. "What is it? What's it say?"

  I didn't answer her. This was only between me and him. I quietly watched him scan all eight sentences.

  When he finished, he closed his eyes and swallowed hard enough for me to see the lump go down his throat. After a little while he sighed heavily, and in a weak voice said, "It's Dad's suicide note."

  Lydia pulled it out of his hand and immediately adjusted her glasses before she started reading. "Didn't you tell me the police took it?"

  "We lied." Matt stepped forward and looked deep in my eyes. "Susie, I think about this every day." His voice broke. "I'm so sorry."

  There were so many things I wanted to scream at him, I didn't know where to start.

  Lydia gasped. "Oh my God."

  I knew she must have made it to that line: 'Susie's biological father is a rich textile heir named Preston Reneault.' It was Jack's one, very matter-of-fact mention of me in the last note he would ever write.

  She looked at me. "How long have you had this? Why didn't you say anything?"

  "Of course," I said. "You're siding with them again. Don't you get it? They knew about Preston for years before he ever found me." I looked at Matt. "He said he offered you and Tabby his condolences at the funeral. He asked where your sister was. Maybe you could've said something?"

  Matt's mouth hung open, his eyes filling with tears. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

  "You were that mad at me?" I shrugged. "I took your dad away so you never told me about mine?"

  His head shook. "How could we tell you? You were missing. Nobody knew where you w
ere."

  I cocked my head to the side. "You think maybe a rich biological father could've helped find me?"

  "Susie!" Lydia shouted. "He was rich enough to find you himself. He obviously knew about you before the funeral."

  We'd had this conversation before, but never this heated. I screamed my response. "He didn't know about me! Mom never told him. Dad…or…Jack," I paused to roll my eyes, ashamed of myself for still somehow thinking of him as 'Dad,' "wouldn't let her."