Safe With Me, Part 8 (The End)

by Shaina Richmond

  I popped a mint in my mouth and waved a quick goodbye to Kendall before opening the door. Slowly, I walked up the shitty little stairs that led from the dressing room to the VIP area, clinging to the railing as I went. Making it worse was the fact that I couldn't hear my own footsteps over the beat of the music that echoed loudly against the cement walls.

  Suddenly, my lungs felt clear and I had a little burst of energy. I was just high enough to feel good, which was exactly what I'd need if the mystery man turned out to be a jerk.

  Marco, a sweet, overprotective bouncer was on the second floor, waiting attentively. He gave me a friendly wink and pointed at the room on the left. Then he put his hand on my shoulder and said in my ear, "I don't know him. Seems like a nice guy. Already bought you a drink."

  This was the first time I'd ever been summoned to a private room for a guy I'd never met before. "You don't know him either? Helen didn't, but she's new."

  He shrugged. "Big dude. Dark hair. Ponytail. Didn't get his name. Probably has a friend who's a regular. Told him to ask for you." In his eyes was a moment of intense concern. "I'm right here if you need me."

  As far as I could tell, Marco had just described Simi, a large Samoan man who lived in my apartment complex. We'd met several times when he was out walking his two tiny, shrill dogs. I never told him I worked at Flippers and I hoped he hadn't stalked me. At least I was too high to be consumed with dread over the thought of moving to get away from him.

  I inhaled deeply, smiled, and walked up the two small steps that led to the room. It had three soft leather sofas, a few small tables, and the music was quiet enough to facilitate an intimate experience with customers.

  The lighting in the room was decent, not like the dim, rosy lighting downstairs. That's why I had no excuse for staring like an idiot for several seconds before realizing the identity of the man sitting on that couch. He hunched forward, then stood and walked up to me.

  He blinked repeatedly, his eyes going up and down my body, arms straight down at his sides. His voice was soft. "Is that really you?"

  I stared up at him. My feet felt like they were nailed to the floor, unable to move.

  His lips formed a sad little grin. "Am I allowed to touch you? At all?"

  I heard footsteps behind me, then Marco's voice just as he touched my back. "Need some help, Dee?"

  Dee. That was Marco's nickname for me. My legal name was now Darcy Jones, and my stage name was Dominique. Marco called me 'Dee,' his shortened form of both names.

  Turning to Marco, I cleared my throat and said, "You can leave us alone. It's fine."

  “You sure?”

  I nodded. “I promise.”

  “Okay. I’ll check in again later.’” He gave Tyler a skeptical glance before walking out the door.

  I waited until I heard Marco's heavy boots land outside the room. “How'd you find me?”

  "Mom." He cleared his throat, nervously. "Sometimes she can get new addresses for people if she has their old credit card information."

  "Oh fuck." Another one? I'd been promised this couldn't happen since I only used my new name at my new address, but junk mail had recently started to appear in my mailbox.

  Tyler quickly went on, recounting how he came to my apartment complex and probably scared a few people, waiting around in the parking lot, showing them my picture. One of my neighbors told him they thought I was the red-haired girl they saw getting in a cab a few times a week. So, he called the cab company.

  And to think, I thought I was doing the smart, safe thing by taking a cab to work instead of driving.

  When he finished, he paused for a breath and said, "I wish you didn't look so scared. I'm not here to hurt you."

  "Is my family on the way?"

  "No. Not at all. I swear. Mom only told me." His eyes welled up. "I have so much to say to you. Please hear me out. I'm sorry about what happened the day you left. Your brother was so upset."

  "It wasn't because of you—"

  "I'm so sorry. I only wanted to protect you, Susie." He wiped tears from his cheeks.

  "Stop, please? I'd rather not think about it if you don't mind."

  His eyes got big. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I think about it all the time, how everything went to shit that weekend. I can think of a million things I'd do differently. Anything to keep you with me." He paused. "Am I allowed to touch you?"

  "Yeah."

  At once, my face was in his chest, my body in his arms, buried in his smell and his body heat. God, I'd fought so hard to forget about this.

  He breathed against my hair and whispered, "Come home with me."

  My tears rolled down to his T-shirt. "No."

  "What?" He pulled away from me, keeping his hands on my shoulders. "Why? Don't even start that shit about me being too good for you. You gotta come home with me."

  I shook my head, crying.

  "Why not?" he asked. "Come on. Are you happy? Is this what makes you happy? Living in an apartment? Working day shift at a strip club?" His lips curled in disgust. "Look, if you wanna strip you can strip anytime for me."

  "That's not why—"

  "Seriously." He nodded. "I already thought about it. If that's the problem, you're an exhibitionist or whatever and you have some kinda problem keeping your clothes on you can take 'em off for me whenever you want."

  I laughed.

  "Yeah," he said. "Just stay in the house naked all the time for all I care. I'll fuckin' board up the windows so no one can see." His face was dead serious.

  I cried, unsure if I was happy or sad. "Tyler—"

  "You've lost too much weight." He peered down at my body. "We need to get you something to eat. What time you get off work?"

  "I haven't lost that much."

  "Yeah. And this hair. I almost didn't believe it was you."

  "That's the point."

  His head shook. "You're coming home with me."

  "No."

  "Why not?" Tyler took his hands from my shoulders and stepped back, looking around the room. "You'd rather have this than be with me?"

  "You and I need different things in life. Things we can't give each other."

  "I need you. You can give me that. I'll be just fine."

  "No, that's not what I mean. You need to live in the same house where you grew up, and be in a town where everyone knows you. You need to be there for your family. I need the opposite of all that."

  He clenched his teeth and let out an angry hiss. "No, I don't need any of that. I need you."

  "That's not what you told me before. We were flying back from Thanksgiving and you told me you could never stop talking to your brother and sister. Remember that?"

  "Shit." He grabbed my shoulders and looked in my eyes. "Just come home with me. Try it for a few months. Maybe a year or something. If you don't like it, you can leave."

  I sensed one of his crazy bets coming on. "No, I'm not gonna do that. I wish I could give you what you really need but I can't. It's just not in me. I knew I didn't want anything like that before we ever met. You were never supposed to happen."

  "What a crock of shit. This is all because you think I'm better than you."

  "No! It's not about that. You and I will never work. Just move on. Give yourself a chance to forget about me. I'm doing you a big favor here."

  "Do you still love me?"

  I winced. "Yes."

  His eyes widened. "Then come home with me!"

  "I already told you—"

  "Look, if it's about your family, I'll protect you from all that. You'll never have to see 'em."

  "No. Please trust me, Tyler. Please, I'm begging you."

  "Are you really happier here? Without me?"

  "Not really."

  "Then what the fuck? Come home with me and I'll do whatever I can to make you happy."

  "I don't live for happy. I just live, okay? I exist."

  "You can exist with me. In my house."

  "No! You'll leave me. Everyone leaves me."
/>   He blew out a pained breath. "No, you don't know that."

  "Yes I do. Please don't make me go through that again." I was either having a bad high or I hadn't snorted enough coke in the dressing room because teardrops and words began spewing forth uncontrollably. "I don't ever wanna be your widow. If you could promise me it'd never happen I'd leave with you right now. And I know it's so unfair but I can't go through that again. I can't imagine how your mom felt when she found your dad in the garage that night. That'd kill me to find you…"

  I couldn't see his face too clearly through my hysteria but he seemed horrified. "Susie…"

  I took a deep, trembling breath. "I was with my dad when he died. My real dad. I was there till the very end. We wanted every second to count. He was cold when I left that bed." I paused to sniffle. "And just a few months ago, couple weeks after I left Lockwood, I woke up one morning and went to North Carolina. I rented a car and went straight from the airport to that bridge where my mom died. Brand new bridge now. Can't drive off it anymore." I wiped my cheeks with my fingers. "So I just stood there on the side and looked down at the river. I swear, I felt Mom beside me. I know it's crazy. Never felt her that strong before. She wanted me to press on. That's what she always used to tell me. Just press on, Susie."

  I was sobbing too much to talk anymore. Tyler let me collapse against him. He held me, stroking my hair until I could breathe again.

  He chuckled softly when he felt me using his shirt as a tissue.

  I pulled away and put my hands on his face. It was wet with tears. "I can't lose another person I love so much. I know that makes me crazy but I've accepted it. I can't go home with you. I'm sorry."

  "I don't know what to say," he whispered.

  "How long are you in town?"

  "I was gonna stay as long as it took to find you." He slid his hands across his face. "I'm at a hotel about five miles away."

  "I'll come over and spend one amazing night with you if you promise none of my family'll show up."

  He grinned. "Trust me, they don't know. I can be really selfish sometimes."

  "Good. Let me go downstairs and change and I'll meet you at the front door."

  Tyler

  Wednesday, June 8, 2011

  4:18 PM

  At least she doesn't work in a whore house.

  I paced inside the front door of Flippers Gentlemen's Club, awaiting her presence. I'd only been there for ten minutes but it felt like an hour. The bouncer inside the door stopped giving me the evil eye after he got a phone call. He asked if I was the guy waiting for Dominique. I swallowed my feelings and politely muttered, "Yes."

  Was it a good day? Bad day? Worst day of my life? The day you reunite with the love of your life should probably be a lot happier than this. I'd never understand that girl. She could've gone anywhere but she was here in this shit hole of a strip club, taking her clothes off for a half-empty room full of the strangest mix of men I'd probably ever seen in one place.

  This is what she wanted? This life, instead of waking up beside me every morning? Because she was afraid of losing me, to death? Yeah, she was out of her fucking mind.

  And yeah, I still wanted her.

  One night. One fucking night! She had to be kidding. But hey, maybe that's all the time I needed. She didn't know what was good for her; I did.

  Shit. If I had more time I could've gotten my hands on some chloroform. And some rope. But then, how would I get us all the way back to my house? Couldn't take a plane. I'd have to rent a car. Maybe a van. It was about eighteen hundred miles…

  I did a double take when I caught a glimpse of her technicolor red hair out of the corner of my eye. Susie now wore denim shorts and a tight black T-shirt. A big green tote bag was slung over her shoulder. She bounded quickly for the door after handing something to a woman behind the bar. A few steps later she saw me and her eyes perked up. Her sandaled feet made a clapping sound against the floor as she came near.

  When she arrived in front of me, she smiled and said, "Just a sec," before running over to the bouncer and surprising him with her cheek against his shoulder, then she reached into her pocket. She then handed him the contents of her fist and said, "Thanks for everything," and gave him a peck on the cheek.

  He said, "You leavin' or somethin'?"

  "Yeah," she answered over her shoulder on her way back to me.

  As soon as she put her hand in mine I pulled her outside into the sunlight. It was a beautiful day. Perfectly breezy and warm. I practically ran as I pulled her along through the parking lot to my rented car, making her giggle.

  This was the same woman who just told me she could never be with me because she was afraid I might die someday, and here she was, giggling.

  She was wrong. Probably just didn't know what she truly wanted. I had to convince her to move home with me. Damn it, if I'd only had that chloroform-and-rope idea earlier.

  We stopped outside the passenger side door. She giggled once again and let the tote bag fall to the ground when I put my arms around her back and gave her a kiss. Finally, my surprise after finding her and seeing her like this was starting to melt away. It didn't matter how much weight she lost, or that her hair was dyed two different colors that were each too dark and made her skin look sickly white. She was mine. She was mine, she was mine, she was mine. She didn't belong to those perverts in that strip club. She belonged to me. And not just for one fucking night, either. She'd know it soon enough.

  She tasted like peppermint, and her skin smelled clean, like she'd just washed it. I felt her arms around my back, squeezing me. Felt her face pushing up to mine as if she were standing on her tiptoes.

  I pulled away, laughing, when she gently pulled my ponytail. It brought back so many memories.

  "Why do you do that?" I asked. "You always pull my ponytail."

  "I don't want to pull it. I just like the way it feels." She smiled. "God, I missed you."

  I kissed her again, but stopped almost immediately with the realization that the parking lot of the strip club where she worked was perhaps the last place on Earth where I wanted to kiss her.

  I put my hands on her face and looked in her eyes. "I love you so much."

  Her whole face lit up, bright as the sun. "I love you, too."

  I had to somehow collect myself and get us both out of there. It was just too damn hard when she was standing in front of me for the first time in months, telling me she loved me with no hesitation. But somehow I forced myself to reach down and open her door. She tossed her bag in the backseat as I went around to my side. I was soon sitting next to her, turning the key in the ignition. I didn't know how I was going to drive the car without crashing. My eyes were glued to hers. They had absolutely no interest in looking at the road.

  Before I could put the car in drive, we were kissing again.

  She put her hand behind my head and held me there, but I had to pull away.

  "How the fuck are we ever gonna get back to my hotel?" I asked.

  Her hand was on my face. "I don't know, honey. Maybe we just need to find a place to pull over for a while."

  She kissed my cheek, and I closed my eyes. Yeah, I missed those lips…Her soft skin passing across mine as she nibbled her way to my ear.

  "I have to tell you something," she whispered. "You're not gonna believe me but I need you to know in case you're scared."

  "What?" This didn't sound good.

  She kissed my ear. "You're the last man I slept with."

  "Huh?" I leaned back to look in her eyes.

  "What? I just wanted you to know I was still clean." She grinned. "I can't imagine we're not gonna be naked pretty soon and I didn't want it to be awkward. My mind just went there. Couldn't help it."

  "I'm the last?"

  "You complaining?"

  I'd probably never shook my head so fast. "No, fuck no."

  "I've been with women,” she said. “It's not like I'm celibate.”

  "Shh." I pressed a finger against her lips. "Don't spoil the mo
ment. I'm the last man you were with. That's the best news I've heard in months."