Daring to Fall

by T. J. Kline

  “You really think I’d do that?”

  She didn’t answer for a moment, pausing before turning back toward him slowly. “I don’t know,” she admitted.

  Anger flashed in his eyes. Hurt followed immediately. “Fine.”

  Ben stalked out of the kitchen and she found herself wanting to forget about Buster and follow him, to apologize and beg his forgiveness, but Jake and Brandon were watching, waiting for her to go to Buster’s cage. Emma sighed, letting Ben go.

  It was for the best. She was bound to say and do the wrong thing at every turn. Her mother liked to remind her that she had quite the track record for being her own worst enemy. It was better for Ben to leave now, before she overcomplicated his life too. In truth, her career was too unpredictable for any sort of relationship. Her priority needed to be getting the sanctuary back on the right track, before she needed to worry about a relationship with anyone. She knew it but she’d allowed herself to get caught up in her lust last night. Besides, most men didn’t want to date a woman who wrestled with tigers. While it might make intimacy interesting, having a girlfriend who could be mauled was definitely not high on the qualities men wanted in an ongoing, serious relationship.

  Jake cleared his throat and rolled his eyes before shoving the back door open again. “How about if I just meet you at Buster’s cage. That is, if any of this even matters to you anymore.”

  She met Brandon’s gaze but he simply gave her a helpless shrug. “You know how Jake is.”

  Yeah, she knew. “Son of a bitch,” she mumbled under her breath, dumping the coffee down the drain and heading out to Buster’s cage in her pajamas.

  If this was the start to her day, it could only go up from here. At least she prayed it would, because it couldn’t exactly get much worse.

  What the hell was her problem?

  He ran a frustrated hand over his head as he watched her inspect the mountain lion. This should prove to everyone how unfit she was to run the facility. Her father had even had his qualms. He knew because Conrad had told him and his brother that he was considering changing his will to name someone else co-director so that Emma didn’t shoulder the entire burden, but then he’d gone and had a stroke before he’d had the opportunity. Now he was forced to take matters into their own hands.

  How many animals did he have to plant, or let loose, before she realized that she wasn’t prepared to handle this? Instead of concentrating on finding Buster, or even trying to figure out who was behind the graffiti, she was busy boning this fireman. It had taken her almost an entire day before she’d noticed he’d cut Wally’s cage. And she’d barely even looked for Buster.

  It was pissing him off.

  She should have known she wasn’t ready to take over when she’d first arrived. It should have been completely clear when he’d unlocked the aviary door and she hadn’t spotted it until the next morning. He was starting to run out of ways to convince her to call it quits so someone else could take over. Unfortunately, it looked like he was going to have to take this to the next level, to up the stakes of the game. He liked Emma, and didn’t want to hurt anyone, but he had to get rid of her.

  Somehow.

  Ben had known better.

  He’d known.

  He berated himself as he stuffed his clothing into the duffel bag. He’d fucking known better than to give in. Sex just for sex’s sake was impossible for him. He was trying hard not to let her accusation wound him. She didn’t know him, not really. Any more than he really knew her. He hadn’t earned her trust.

  However, that wasn’t the way it felt when he was with her. He’d thought they had some sort of connection, a mutual understanding of one another, something that defied explanation. Obviously, it was one-sided. Staring at the mussed sheets, he couldn’t stop the memories from last night that crashed over him, like waves of glory, as he relived each and every kiss.

  Friends with benefits.

  Friends didn’t make unfounded accusations.

  The back door slammed shut and Ben paused, waiting to see if it was Emma coming to apologize. The silence of the house spoke volumes.

  Jerking his t-shirt down over his head, Ben grabbed his toothbrush from the bathroom sink where he’d left it and shoved it into his bag as well. He didn’t deserve this crap. He’d gone out of his way to help her, not to mention the fact that he’d been willing to put himself between her and a cougar.

  His cell phone vibrated on the nightstand, next to the box of condoms. His body jerked to attention at the mere reminder of their night together and, just as quickly, he forced the visions from his head. There was a reason he didn’t do one-night stands, friends-with-benefits—whatever bullshit name she wanted to give it. Because he couldn’t separate his emotions from the act.

  Reaching for the phone, he saw his brother’s face on the screen.

  Shit.

  Andrew was the last person he wanted to talk to right now. He must have seen this morning’s paper. It didn’t take a genius for Ben to know that this call wouldn’t end well. It was better to get it over with now. Ignoring him would only make Andrew fume and build steam, like a volcano.

  Ben swiped his finger over the screen to answer it. “Hey, I was just about to call you.”

  “Sure you were, you lying son of a bitch.”

  “You kiss your mother with—”

  “You lied to me about the mountain lion when I talked to you yesterday. That’s something the police should have been called in on, don’t you think?”

  “I didn’t lie and no, it’s something Animal Control would be called in for.”

  “Okay, smartass, they work with the police department. And you deliberately withheld the fact that there was a puma on the loose. What the fuck, Ben? That’s something you should have told me about.”

  “I was helping Emma—”

  “Emma? She’s Emma now?” Ben could hear the disdain in his brother’s voice. “Well, you be sure to tell Emma that I’m on my way out to investigate this matter.”

  “They’ve already caught him and put him back in his cage. He never even left the property.” He might not have seen the animal yet but he didn’t have any reason to doubt Jake, even if he was a jackass. “There’s no need to forgo your morning ritual at the coffee shop. Just finish your doughnuts and relax.”

  “Ha ha, you’re hilarious.” Andrew didn’t sound as if he saw any humor in the situation. “This isn’t a laughing matter. That woman put a lot of people in danger by not calling us in, or Fish and Game, at the least. It’s a fucking mountain lion, Ben.”

  “And it’s caught.”

  “That’s not the point.” His brother took a deep breath. “Look, I’m on my way out there now. Warn her, don’t warn her. I don’t care. I’m getting some answers with or without your help.”

  Andrew disconnected the call, leaving Ben trying to figure out the best course of action. Andrew was a good guy but, like Ben, he tended to be a stickler for the rules, doing everything by the book, every time. Which was how he’d ended up the one arresting Laura. It was how they’d all been raised—to do the right thing, even when it was the hard thing to do. To be the good guy, the hero, to be honorable. But what was he supposed to do when what he and his brother thought was right put them on opposite sides?

  Even though Emma’s accusation had wounded him, he didn’t want to see her subjected to Andrew’s ironhanded sense of justice without some sort of an intermediary. Especially when Andrew was already this pissed off. Andrew wouldn’t be interested in appearances, or the fact that someone might be setting Emma up. He wanted facts. And, right now, the facts were that the town needed protection, or thought it did, from Emma’s incompetence.

  Ben carried his bag out to the truck and slid it under the backseat before heading to the cages housing the big cats, arriving at the edge of the enclosure in time to hear Jake’s outspoken criticism.

  “They’re going to shut you down, Emma. Maybe it’s better if they do it now.” The hair rose on the back of his
neck and he forced himself not to clench his fists.

  “I’ll handle this.”

  “The way you have been so far? This place used to be a premiere facility. Your father had an impeccable reputation for rehabbing these animals, not accidentally letting them run out.”

  She glared at him over the sedated cat from inside the cage but, even from this distance, Ben could see the self-recriminations eating at her.

  “I didn’t do that.”

  “Then who did? You were the last one to work with the cats. Maybe you need to get your head back into the game and quit flirting with firemen.”

  This time, Ben couldn’t help but clench his fists at his sides. It was the only thing keeping him from punching Jake in the mouth.

  “Are you sure you’re worried about the sanctuary or your own reputation, Jake?” She jerked her stethoscope from around her neck and placed one end on the cat’s chest.

  “Don’t even,” he warned. “You know this place means as much to me as it does to you, or your dad. Which is why we should have partnered up to run it, like your dad wanted.”

  Emma didn’t even look up at him. “You convinced him to cancel all the educational and kids’ programs, so what would we do together, Jake? I’m not about to let you bully me into doing things your way. I’m in charge now.”

  “Education wasn’t your dad’s vision for this place and you know it. It was always what you wanted. He wanted to rehab the animals for release. That was his dream.”

  So there was far more to the contention between Emma and Jake than just him being a jerk. At least, from his side of it.

  “The government funding that comes from those programs helped keep the doors open. You know, as well as I do that we need—” She fell silent when her gaze touched on Ben.

  He hadn’t meant to eavesdrop but he wasn’t exactly sorry he had. If nothing else, it gave him a better understanding of the added pressure Emma was under. She was facing it from within her staff as well.

  “How’s he doing?”

  “Fine.” She quickly inspected his massive paws for signs of trauma, plucking what looked like a pine needle from where it had lodged in the pad of one. “He should come to in about fifteen or twenty minutes and be no worse for his little adventure last night. I’ll just have to keep an eye on him.”

  She exited the cage, locking the gate and then jerking on the door, testing the lock again.

  “My brother’s on his way over.”

  She paused with her fingers in the chain link and he waited for her response, hating that he was the one adding even more trouble on her already full plate. She took a deep breath but he didn’t miss the way her shoulders slumped in defeat.

  “Okay. I should probably go open the gate for him.” She glanced over her shoulder at Jake. “Can you feed the cats? Don’t forget Kit too, okay?” She brushed past Ben, careful to avoid touching him as she headed back toward the main gate.

  Ben reached for her hand. “I thought I’d hang out here until Andrew arrives.”

  Emma slid her hand away from his and squared her shoulders, standing erect and proud. She didn’t even bother to look back at him as she steeled herself for what was likely to come. “Thanks, but I can handle this.”

  Her tone was frigid as she spoke the same words he’d just heard her say to Jake. Regardless of what Ben thought they might have shared last night, this was no longer the woman who’d set his passions on fire. She’d been replaced by a woman on a mission, one who no longer trusted him.

  Chapter Twelve

  Emma stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around herself, using another to wring the water from her hair, wishing she could stall another few hours. She had no idea what she was going to say when Ben’s brother arrived. What could she say?

  Somehow Buster had gotten out. Whether it was due to someone tampering with the cage or her own forgetfulness, ultimately she was responsible for everything that happened at this sanctuary. Unfortunately, since she’d taken over for her father, there had been far more failures than successes and now it looked like it would be culminating with a cop coming to shut her down. Especially since she had no proof that anyone else had been involved.

  Emma dragged a comb through her long tresses and flipped on the blow dryer, wishing she could just hide out for the rest of the morning.

  “Hey?”

  She jumped at Ben’s voice and his sudden appearance in the doorway, yelping as she dropped the blow dryer into the sink.

  “Shit!” She fumbled to turn it off which managed to loosen the towel knotted at her breasts, causing it to slip and pool at her feet, leaving her completely naked. “Get out!”

  Ben arched a brow, a hungry smile spreading over his face as his dark gaze slid down her body, warming her from her head to her toes. Or maybe it was the blush covering her that warmed her skin. She quickly turned her back on him and bent to retrieve her towel.

  “Nice view in either direction.”

  Wrapping herself in the terrycloth and tucking the end between her breasts, she scowled at him over her shoulder. “What happened to the gentleman from last night?”

  The grin fell from his lips as Ben leaned against the doorframe. “He bailed after getting falsely accused of calling a reporter.”

  Emma had already planned to apologize for blaming him. While it was possible he’d made the call, it was just as likely that Ben had simply mentioned it to his brother and the police called the paper. For all she knew, it could have been anyone at the sanctuary last night. Just because Jake, Brandon and the girls were together all night in the barn didn’t mean someone hadn’t snuck off to make a phone call. She couldn’t rule it out. Honestly, she couldn’t even really blame them. All of their lives had been in jeopardy. If she was in their shoes, she might have called for backup too.

  Either way, she’d had no proof it was Ben and he’d been nothing but helpful, even at the risk of his own skin. She wasn’t normally one to jump to conclusions, but Ben had her doing a lot of things she didn’t normally do. Even so, accusing him had crossed a line.

  “About that . . . I’m sorry. It wasn’t right and it certainly wasn’t warranted.” Ben’s brows lifted high on his forehead as she stated the obvious. She waved a hand toward her bedroom before trying to close the door on him. “Um, you think you could wait out there until I get some clothes on?”

  His cocky, lopsided grin returned and his dark eyes glittered devilishly, making her heart skip irritatingly. She needed to figure out a way to get her body to stop reacting like he was the first boy to kiss her, even if he was the first one in a long time that made her want something more. Just how much more, she wasn’t sure.

  Emma reached for the blow dryer in the sink, flipping it back on and leaning to one side, pretending not to care that he stood in the doorway watching her, but holding her towel in place with one hand all the same.

  “Nothing I haven’t already seen in glorious detail.”

  Her eyes widened at his blatant comment, her cheeks warming as she stared at his reflection in her mirror. She’d blushed more around this man than anyone in her entire life.

  “Get out.” She flipped her wrist, aiming the blow dryer at his face as she let go of the towel long enough to shove her other hand against his chest. She jerked at it when the top of the towel loosened and nearly fell again. “This is still my house.”

  Ben took a step back and she took the opportunity to slam the door shut, twisting the lock. Emma heard his deep laughter just as she realized she’d left her jeans and t-shirt lying on the foot of her bed.

  Son of a bitch.

  He rapped lightly on the door. “You’re probably going to need these.”

  Mentally counting to ten, trying unsuccessfully to contain her frustration, she opened the door, quickly yanking the clothes from his hands before slamming it shut again.

  “You sure you don’t need some help? I’m not as good at getting them on as I am off, but I could try,” he teased.

  Oh
God, please let him be teasing.

  Recalling the heat she’d felt as his gaze slid over her a moment ago, she wasn’t so sure. Nor was she sure she really wanted him to be joking. Working her jeans over her still wet legs, Emma danced around the bathroom, slipping on the tile floor and catching herself against the door with a loud thud.

  “Are you okay?” She heard him test the knob, prepared to enter, and was grateful she locked it.

  “I’m fine.”

  She hooked the clasp of her bra and tugged the shirt down over her head. Forgoing any makeup, she tugged her still-damp hair back into a ponytail and opened the door, walking past him into the bedroom. Dragging her hands through the drawer, she found a pair of matching socks and sat on the bed, glancing up at him.

  “Look, maybe we should get a few things cleared up.”

  He snorted slightly. “You think? We have so much to choose from, Emma. The news article, the situation you’ve got going on here . . .” His eyes smoldered as he met her gaze. “Or do you mean about us and last night?”

  She looked away, avoiding his penetrating gaze by focusing far more on tying her sneaker than was necessary. Why was she finding it so hard to distance herself from him emotionally?

  She’d known from the start Ben was most definitely a different sort of guy than she usually hooked up with. Most men would be thrilled at the prospect of sex with no strings. It made life easy, without complications. But he made her feel like she was missing out on so much more. He made her question whether she could really be happy with something noncommittal from him.

  After the way he’d made her feel last night, she wasn’t sure she could go back. He’d branded her, taken her to a different realm, and she didn’t want to give it up. That alone made her wonder if last night wasn’t a mistake they shouldn’t repeat. But the mere idea of not touching him again, of not being touched by him, made her chest ache. She looked up at him as he stared down at her, waiting for her response. But she could see the disappointment in his eyes, as if he already knew what she would say. It was just one more regret heaped on the pile of disappointments she was already dealing with.