by M. Leighton
Christ on a cracker! Where do I even start?
I don’t even know. I can only think of all the ways that this can go, none of them good. I mean, how can this end well? How can I save her from the shitstorm that she’s created for herself?
There’s only one answer. I can’t. Unless I were to compromise everything that I believe, everything that makes me me, there’s no way I can save her from this. There’s just too much.
But how can I not? How can I be yet another person to let her down? How can I beg her to trust me and then let life take her from me?
Maybe there’s a way I can help her, a way that we can both live with. Talk to my captain, to the DA, to anybody who will listen about getting her reduced sentencing. I mean, she was a juvenile when she killed her brother. And it was accidental at that. Self-defense, some could even argue. I mean, if he’d turned his rage on her…
Then there are the checks, also forged while she was a minor. But she didn’t say she stopped cashing them once she made the deal with Tonin. And, if she were smart, she probably didn’t so that it wouldn’t raise any brows or questions about the welfare of her mother.
Shit!
Then there’s whatever she might have been complicit in as far as Tonin’s dirty dealings. Jesus in a jumpsuit, she’s in a shitload of trouble if all this comes out.
And that’s up to me.
If I don’t tell, and Tonin for some reason doesn’t rat her out… could I go on, knowing this, and never tell? Could I do that and still look myself in the mirror? Could I not, though? Could I live with myself if I didn’t do anything and everything for her, to help her?
I don’t have the answer. To any of those questions. I just hope something comes to me before I need them.
I glance over at Tommi where she sits in the passenger seat. No matter what she’s done, no matter what happens from this point on, she will still be my Tommi. The woman who draws my soul like bees to honey. She’s good. Deep down. There’s no question of that. And regardless of what unfolds from here on, I’ll fight for her, for her case and her life, until my dying breath. I begged her to trust me and she did. Even though I knew I’d have to betray that trust to some degree, I had no idea what I was actually asking of her. But she did. She knew she’d be giving me everything I could ever need to destroy her whole life. Yet she did it anyway. Knowing how thoroughly I could screw her, she did it. She trusted me when she’s never trusted anyone else. She picked me.
Determination sets in. I can’t let her down. I have to do whatever I can. Whatever it is. I have to. I know I do. As God is my witness, I’ll go to my grave trying to make good on her trust because no one else ever has. And she deserves that. After all that she’s been through, she deserves someone to love her that much.
I should probably tell her that I’m a cop, but it would be crazy to risk the operation at this stage. If I can take Tonin down, half her worries will be over. So for her good as well as that of my career, I’ll keep my mouth shut a little bit longer.
When the old restaurant comes into view, I pull around to the next block, to the side street, so we can approach from the rear of the building. I don’t want to advertise our presence.
I turn toward Tommi, who looks exhausted. Like she might fall apart any second now. “Stay here. I’ll–”
“Don’t even finish that sentence. I’m coming with you. That’s my brother in there. At least I hope to God it is.”
“Tommi, I–”
“Unless you plan to knock me out or tie me to the roof of this truck, I’m coming. Stop wasting time.”
Her face is pale, but determined. And really, I don’t blame her. I’d be the same way if it were one of my brothers or my sister in there.
“Stay behind me. No matter what. You hear me?”
She nods once. “Behind you. Got it.”
I reach across in front of Tommi and unlock the glove compartment. I remove the “illegal” gun I was given for my cover ID. At this point, I don’t give a shit if it’s legal or not; I just want it to shoot.
We both get out and meet at the tailgate. I stuff the gun into the back of my waistband and take Tommi’s hand. Together we walk down the sidewalk toward the old restaurant. A million things left unsaid. A lifetime of questions for just the next five minutes.
I’m immediately suspicious, my instincts on high alert when we get close enough to see that the back door is open. So is the door to the matching storage building across a narrow alley. I pull Tommi to a stop, but before I can decide our next move, Barber, Lance Tonin’s right hand man, appears at the entrance to the smaller building. Alarm bells start sounding and my gut tells me that this is all about to go sideways.
He smiles, a gesture that I guess is what a rat would look like if it were capable of such expression. “Just in time. Come on in.”
He disappears inside and I turn to Tommi. “Please. Go back to the truck. Get the hell out of here. I’m begging you.”
She looks me in the eye, nothing but bravery and determination on her beautiful face. “He’s my brother. And-and I won’t let you clean up my messes.”
Yeah, it might be the worst possible time in the world for something like this, but I don’t give a shit. Things are happening. Most likely the sun will rise on a totally different reality for all of us tomorrow. Gotta make the most of right now.
I cup Tommi’s face in my hands, staring intently down into the emerald green I’ll probably never be able to forget, no matter what happens. “I’d walk through fire for you. And for anyone you care about. You don’t have to do this alone anymore. You’ve got me.”
Tears well in her eyes, turning sparkling jewels into liquid pools. Her chin trembles the tiniest bit and she winds her fingers around my wrists, holding me to her. “Whatever today or tomorrow, or next month or next year holds, I will never regret you. Whether you know it or not, you saved me.”
God, how I want to! I wish I could just sweep her off her feet and run with her, far and fast. But I can’t. For a hundred different reasons, I can’t. And I won’t. I’m not one to run from anything and this is no exception. We’ll face this, whatever this ends up being, together.
My mouth falls onto Tommi’s in a kiss that was meant to be gentle, sincere. But the urgency of the situation, the uncertainty of tomorrow turns it into a rough, wild plundering. When I pull away, we’re both gasping for air. The moment is real and raw and maybe as honest as any we’ve shared.
And I know that Tommi feels it, too. I can see it in the lines of her face, in the way her eyes soften.
“Sig, I…I–”
My chest gets tight. I know what she’s going to say. Whether in truth or as a result of the turmoil, I don’t know, but right at this moment, she loves me. In a way, I hope she doesn’t finish her sentence, doesn’t tell me.
I want to hear her say it. Yes, it makes me feel a little panicky, but I still want to hear the words come from those delectable lips. Just not right now. Not this way. And she must realize the same thing. She takes a single step back, trailing off into something else entirely. “I…I say we go get my brother.”
She threads her fingers through mine and we turn toward the back door, together. As we near it, I move in front of her and tuck her safely behind me. I don’t know what to expect, but I’ll feel better about whatever it if Tommi isn’t in the line of fire.
Inside, the room is mostly empty. There are a few crates stacked against one wall and a couple of old stoves, maybe from the restaurant, lining the other. In the center of the floor is a chunky wooden table and four chairs poised under a swinging overhead light. All it lacks is a bloody suspect tied to a chair and it would be the most cliché setup I’ve ever seen.
It’s at that table where Travis sits, playing on his phone. Chaps is on one side, Barber on the other. I wonder for just a second why they let Travis keep his phone and why he didn’t answer it when Tommi called. Or call somebody for God’s sake.
“I’d just get that idea right out of my hea
d if I were you. You won’t be getting a signal in here,” Barber explains, uncrossing his ankles and crossing them to the other side, like he’s bored as hell. “It’s jammed. Can’t have you calling your buddies for help, now can we?”
I narrow my eyes on him. “My buddies?”
“Yeah, your cop friends.”
My pulse flutters, but only slightly. And I make sure nothing shows on my stone face. “I don’t have cop friends.”
Barber smiles again. It’s humorless, though. Maybe even smug, like he’s got me right where he wants me. “I’d expect a criminal not to have many cop friends, but you’re not a criminal, are you, Sig? You’re a cop. What’s that say about you–a cop with no cop friends? Don’t you play well with others?”
My blood runs cold, but I maintain. “I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. Sounds to me like you’ve been sneaking into boss man’s stash. What’s the matter, Barber? You tweaking on the side? Making you a little paranoid?”
He laughs. “A smart ass to the end. Not that it will matter. You’re caught. Busted. What I don’t know is why you’re still pretending. Last ditch effort to save an operation? Or maybe save face with a girl?” His sharp eyes dart to Tommi. “Does she know who you really are?”
In the quiet that follows his question, I hear Tommi’s breathing grow ragged where she stands slightly behind me. The fingers twisted into my shirt grip tighter, so tight I can feel a slight tremble. I try to put her reaction out of my mind, but it’s hard as hell not to feel guilty when I’ve told her she can trust me. Not to mention the fact that she just spilled her guts about some shit that she’d probably want anyone in the world to know except a cop.
“You must have me confused with somebody else, Barber.”
“Oh, I think not Sigmond Locke. Did you really think Lance wouldn’t find out?”
Think!
“If you’re trying to throw some poor bastard under the bus, I’d suggest you pick one of your lackeys. Maybe one who’s too dumb to figure out what you’re doing.”
“Oh, I’ve got the right man.”
I don’t give in. I press the issue while moving a few small steps forward, nothing to alarm him. Just enough to get closer. “Is that why you took Travis? You trying to get rid of me? Blame something on me?”
“The blame is already placed. You can deny it all you want. It won’t change a damn thing. But yeah, we did take the kid to get you here. Fast. Without time to plan or think. Or get word to your people. And it worked like a damn charm, didn’t it? You came alone.”
The tension is interrupted only by Travis. He makes a strange noise and starts rocking back and forth, tapping his fist against his temple. We all look toward him and I hear Tommi gasp. She tears herself away from my back.
“Travis!”
She streaks by me. I reach for her arm to stop her, but she shakes me off and runs to Travis anyway. Barber doesn’t move. He doesn’t even watch her, in fact. His eyes are trained on me, not Tommi where she squats beside her brother.
“Such a shame that you had to involve the girl and her brother, Mr. Locke. Now you’ll all have to die. And I hate hurting kids. That puts me in a terrible mood. That’s why I’ll save you for last. If anybody should suffer for the pissy way I feel, it should be you.”
“Why the hell would you want to hurt Tommi and Travis? They haven’t done anything wrong.”
“Oh, I think Lance would disagree. Once he found out you were all up in his pussy, he looked into you a little deeper. I mean, what kind of an idiot shit-for-brains moron would mess with Lance Tonin’s woman? It seems there’s only one. And guess what Lance found on you. Cost him a pretty penny, but he got all he needed. Spent the weekend getting this place cleaned up for your pig partners, just in case you’d screwed some information out of Tommi and sent it in. Unfortunately, that means my friend here,” he says, nodding toward Chaps, who hasn’t said a word since we got here, “will have to leave town. Too risky to keep business running the same way. We could never be sure how much you’ve passed on. It’s a pain in the ass to shift things around after all this time, but it’s worth it to stay in business and give you bungling dickheads something to do with your time. Earn your pay and all that shit.”
I spare a glance at Tommi who is cradling Travis, petting his hair and whispering into his ear as he rocks. The eyes that meet mine over the top of his head are shooting invisible sparks of heartbreak and betrayal at me. They hit me like tiny dots of fire, burning their way through my skin and muscle, straight to bone.
This is not how I envisioned my confession playing out, but I can’t think about that right now. I have to get us out of here. Alive.
As fast as my mind will work, I race through several scenarios, searching for the one that’s most effective and will buy me the most time. I sent word to my handler that this is the place Tonin’s shit is kept. I hope to God they send someone to check it out because I have no choice except to own up to who I really am. That means that I have one option that’ll do both. A bluff. A big one.
I cross my arms over my chest, letting a smile play across my face. “So that’s your answer then? To get rid of us? To kill a woman, a kid and a cop? And you think that’ll make things better for you?” I laugh, as boisterously as I can. “What you don’t know, ass monkey, is that this shit’s coming down. Your whole crew is busted. It’s just a matter of time. Of course, a better, more orderly take-down was in the works, but it ain’t no thing. A few minutes won’t matter. The end result is the same. You dicklovers. In jail. For a long, long time. Of course, you can make it even worse if you really wanna. By, oh I don’t know, say, adding murder to your list of charges. If that’s your master plan, then hell! Be my guest.”
Barber’s grin worries me. He doesn’t look the least bit concerned. “And what, exactly, will these charges be? There are no drugs here. You have no proof, no evidence that we’ve done anything wrong. Travis here could point a finger at Chaps, but he’ll be dead before his sister’s body hits the ground. So what’s your play then? You must know something I don’t know, because we’re clean, five-oh.” He takes a step toward me, his eyes flashing. At last I see some emotion other than smug satisfaction–anger. “We’re clean.”
All I can do is bluff some more, buy time until I can figure out how the hell to get us out of here. I smile, big enough and long enough for him to take notice and narrow his eyes on me. “If that’s what you think, maybe I overestimated you. We’ll see. But I can tell you what won’t be happening. I sure as hell ain’t gonna stand here and show my hand. If that’s what you’re getting at, then you’re a dumbass. No matter what happens to me or them, you’re goin’ down, cocksucker.”
Barber watches me silently, debating whether to off us and take his chances or try to find out what I really know, what we really know.
“You’d risk their lives for a bust?”
“Look, man, I don’t give a shit what you do with me, but I won’t lie. I’m in deep with those two. It’s gonna be sweet to watch you get what’s coming to you. But so help me God, if you are stupid enough to lay a hand on either of them, you’ll wish I’d killed you instead. I promise you that.” I let my words, the weight and the sincerity of them sink in before I continue. “You’re going down either way. How far down you go is entirely up to you.”
“How important is she to you?” Barber asks, nodding faintly toward Tommi.
I narrow my eyes on him. “Very. But I think I’ve made that pretty clear.”
“You have. But I think you’ve forgotten that we can make her suffer without ever laying a hand on her.”
“Is that right?” I ask, crossing my arms over my chest. “Do tell.”
“Lance has a certain dead brother’s body on deep freeze. Even if she were allowed to live, she’d spend her life in prison, mourning not one brother but two. She’ll never be free unless he allows her to be free. Stupid bitch didn’t know who she was fuc–”
I interrupt with a scoff. “Aw hell! You thi
nk she’s worried about that? I know the whole story. She won’t go down for that. And believe me, I would know. Cop, remember? If anybody knows the law, it’s me. In fact, if she’d told me sooner, I could’ve helped her get away long before now. She just had to trust me.” I turn my eyes to Tommi at the last, meeting her heartbroken eyes with the strength and steadiness of my own. She looks away. But not before I see the betrayal, the hurt, the distrust she’s still holding. Ties my stomach into a damn knot.
This isn’t how it was supposed to go.
“Oh, I can pretty much guarantee she’ll never trust you again, cop. For what’s left of your life, that is.”
Barber straightens and takes a gun out of the back of his pants. He jacks one in the chamber and levels the barrel of the Glock at me. We’re down to brass tacks now. He’s made up his mind. He’s calling my bluff. And something’s gotta give. I’ve got one chance to save Tommi, to save us all. It’s balls out and go big or go the hell home.
I start walking toward Barber, arms outstretched, every bit of bravado I can muster playing from my fingertips. “It’s go time, big man. Bring that shit on! With my last breath, I’ll be laughing, thinking about you taking it up the ass in a cell next to Tonin’s for the next twenty-five to life.”
His lips thin and the only sign I see of his indecision is in the faint tremor of his hand. But it’s enough. I’ve got him worried. And that’s all the opening I need.
I move no faster, just keep pushing my cockiness to keep him off kilter. “What’s it gonna be? Don’t have all day,” I say.
Barber stiffens his arm, like he’s trying to find the resolution to just do this and trust in his instincts rather than letting my words get in his head. I take the half-second opening while he wavers and I make my move.
Ducking, I throw my body at Barber’s middle. I hear the weapon discharge and I reach up blindly for his gun hand, grabbing it and jerking toward the ground as hard as I can. I feel the cool metal of the grip against the outside of my last finger just as we topple over the table and go skittering across the slick concrete floor.