by B. D. Gates
"What is it?" I asked.
"Where'd you learn to shoot like that?"
Oh. Hell.
"Video games," I answered, not wanting her to think that I could shoot as a part of my 'criminal' past. She nodded, but her brow was still furrowed.
The carny handed me a little stuffed bear. As we walked away, I handed it to Tess.
"For you," I said.
"Oh, no, Bishop." She smiled and shook her head.
"Yes, for you. Besides, if it goes to my house, Rosie will just shred it. Seriously. You're saving its life."
"Well, since you put it that way..." Smiling, Tess took the bear and snugged it into the crook of her arm. Though she didn't take my arm, she still walked close enough to me that our shoulders would occasionally brush as we strolled down the row of booths. She did not seem to be aware of my personal space and how she was invading it.
I really did not know what to think of this.
We made our way down to the end and, not seeing anything that we wanted to play, headed back towards the food. Some of the crowd had already finished eating and were playing the games. There was shouting, bells and whistles going off, and laughter. I looked over at Tess. She was smiling as she watched everyone having a good time.
We walked over to the food lines and waited to make up our plates. Coach joined us.
"Having a good time?" she asked.
"Yes, ma'am," I answered.
"This is really some cookout, Coach." Tess said.
"I know that these girls spend three months trying to do it all, for the team, for me, for Tenley, and I want them and their families to know that I really appreciate it. So, I wanted to give them something back."
Coach's friend walked up and Coach introduced us to Carole Daley. Coach presented me as 'Baxter.' I didn't object.
"You made that hit in the first inning. That was a good hit."
"Thank you," I said. I glanced over at Tess. She looked proud.
Coach said, "Carole is a high school coach over in Whitmore. She coaches tennis and basketball."
I smiled and nodded. She had the demeanor of a coach.
"She's going to be helping me this season, keeping our stats, analyzing, and running projections."
I had no idea what she was talking about, but hey, if Coach was happy...
"The team positions are posted, Baxter," Coach asked. "Over there on the announcement board by the home dugout."
I looked at Tess.
"Well, what are you waiting for? Go see," she said.
I hustled over to the board. This time, I had enough sense to look for 'Baxter' and I found my name quickly. I was on as a starting right fielder. I jogged back to Tess with a smile on my face. She was smiling as well and was looking very pleased, even proud, her face glowing. Coach had obviously already told her.
"Right field. Thanks, Coach," I offered as I rejoined the little group. Coach smiled and clapped me on the shoulder.
"Glad to have you," she said.
I nodded. I was glad, too.
Coach and her 'analyst' excused themselves and Tess and I were left to ourselves. We finished loading our plates, got our drinks and made our way back into the stadium to sit in the bleachers while we ate.
21
Tess settled in next to me and we ate in silence. I finished first and sat back, looking around the 'yard.' The stadium was impressive for a small-town ball park. The bleachers rose up two sections high and there was a pitched roof that sheltered the seats behind home plate, extending down the first and third base lines. An open press box capped the bleachers under the overhang behind home plate.
"Do they use this just for softball?" I asked.
"The little league uses it for practices and games, and they've held school graduations when the weather allows," Tess answered.
I nodded. "Are the other ballparks around here like this?"
"No, they're pretty bare compared to this one."
It was bigger and better than any of the ballparks I had played in up in Baltimore.
"Tenley hosts the Championship series, no matter who's in it, because they've got the best stadium," Tess added. "It's a big deal for the town, they make good money when they have the teams and visitors staying here."
So, softball really was a serious business here in Tenley.
We sat quietly for a minute or so, listening to the laughter and noise from the mini-carnival in the parking lot. Tess became a little agitated, shifting in her seat several times. I turned to her, eyebrows raised. She saw my questioning look.
"Bishop, can I ask you something? If you don't want to answer, you don't have to."
"Okay."
"Well, I was just wondering..." she shifted again, this time turning to see me better. She paused. I waited.
She took a breath, then, "Do you miss Baltimore?"
Did I miss Baltimore? With her agitation, I had expected something else. Just what, I don't know, but something far more personal than if I "missed Baltimore." I sat for a minute and pondered the question. I hadn't really given it much thought. I was here, in Tenley, and I had started carving out a life for myself, but it was different, very different, from what I'd left.
I was working with animals, beings that I love, who were angry, upset, or scared, and, apparently, I was good at it. Dr. Biggs had a busy practice, with a lot of clients, animals that I had come to know and had learned to handle, making their visits less upsetting for them. Being able to calm a distraught animal or console an injured one gave me great satisfaction.
I had softball, a game that I loved, but had not played for years. I looked forward to those evenings on the field, the fresh air, the physicality of it all.
That made me happy.
There was Penny. Though we had issues, we still had the potential for being something good together. She was fun, in all ways, and I suppose we had a lot more in common than we even knew. I wanted to get to know her better, to learn what made her happy, and sad, what had made her despise relationships to the point of refusing to have one, to be in one.
And, there was Tess. My 'keeper,' but also my friend. I admired her, respected her, knew that she'd had a hard life, had lived through events that would have turned other people bitter, angry, but she had come out the other side with the intent of helping people, of being a 'solution,' not a problem. Frankly, I loved her for that. Now, she was intent on making a better life for herself, addressing her loneliness by venturing out of her self-imposed exile.
Tess took my silence as an answer. "I'm sorry, Bishop, I don't mean to pry.
"No, you're not prying, I've just been thinking. And I can honestly say that, while there are a few aspects of my life in Baltimore that I miss, they're small in comparison, because there are things here in Tenley that I would miss as well. My life is better here, in a lot of ways, so no, I don't miss Baltimore. I honestly think I would miss Tenley more. Why?"
"So you're happy here?"
"Yeah. Yeah, I am."
"Okay. Good. That's good," Tess replied.
"Why, Tess?"
"Oh, well, just checking, that's all." I had the feeling she was not being completely truthful. I let it pass.
We gathered up the remnants of our dinner and headed back down to the carnival. It was in full swing when we got to the parking lot, the rides turning and the noise from the booths full of bells, whistles, and cheers. We wandered up the row, retracing our earlier steps, stopping at different booths to try our luck, and getting caught up in the fun of all the different games.
At the ring-toss, we ran into Stacey and her brood.
"Hey, Baxter, c'mere, I want you to meet my family." Stacey introduced me to her husband, Darrell, who was at least three inches taller than Stacey, and as broad across as a wall. To say he was big is an understatement. The man was a mountain.
As for their children, well, them apples didn't fall far from the tree. They were all tall and wide, with brown hair and fair complexions. Two boys and a girl, all appearing to b
e in their teens. I felt like I was a sapling in a forest of trees. Tess, being only slightly shorter than me, looked up at this family like she had entered the Land of the Giants.
"Hey, Baxter, how ya doin'?" Stacey's husband extended his rather large hand towards me, and I shook it, watching it disappear in his grip. "Stacey's told me all about the team, she says you've got a good eye, and you can swing a bat with the best of 'em." He grinned.
"Stacey's the best pitcher I've ever seen," I replied. "I'm glad I don't have to bat against her."
Darrell laughed. "Ain't that the truth!"
The kids, who were nearly as tall as their parents, were eager to move on and play more games and their impatience was evident in the way they had started to move away from the group. Stacey picked up on their cues.
"Well, we're gonna go play some skeeball. We'll see you Monday, maybe you'll get to meet Charlie then," Stacey added, reminding me that I still had to meet her brother-in-law.
Tess gave me a questioning look when Stacey mentioned Charlie. I answered her look with a pained little grin and a slight shoulder shrug.
We said our goodbyes and headed in the opposite direction, toward the mini-Ferris wheel that was slowing to a stop, preparing to take on new riders. Tess was leaning against me as we walked.
Once again, I did not know what to think of this.
"Want to ride?" I asked as we neared the end of the line.
"Sure," Tess replied.
We joined the line behind Jacks and a girl whom I quickly realized was her girlfriend by the way they were standing together, close and not quite holding hands, but touching, the backs of their hands brushing, their fingers sliding together but not intertwining. Very much the way Tess and I were standing, minus the hand-play. Tess looked at me, a small smile on her lips.
Was she smiling at Jacks and her girl, or was she smiling at me?
We soon climbed aboard our chair and the attendant closed the bar over our laps, locking it in place. Soon, we were gliding back and up, making our way to the top of the wheel. Even though it was a small wheel, we had an unobstructed view of the town of Tenley in the dark, the lights from the houses and streets looking like fallen stars scattered over the land.
"Pretty, isn't it?" said Tess.
"It really is," I agreed.
Then, Tess got silly. She pulled her phone out of her pocket and placed her newly-won bear against the bar so that it was looking down and took a picture, then she handed me the bear and I balanced it on my shoulder, its naturally-smiling face and upraised arms giving it a look of surprise. One last picture of the two of us with the bear between us. We laughed as we looked at the snaps, Tess pausing at the last one taken, then put the phone away.
We were quiet for a time, taking in all the sights as the wheel continued moving slowly in its vertical circle. I saw Coach Biggs and Carole sitting at the picnic tables, side-by-side, their heads close together as they talked, Biggs smiling, Carole too. I was glad for Coach, I knew for a fact that she worked hard, that she put a lot of time and effort into running her practice, and she coached her team with the same drive and determination.
Tess had noticed Coach and her friend. Jacks and her girl. Maybe that was what led to the next question she asked me.
"Bishop, have you always been gay?"
That question, out of the blue as it was, caught me by surprise. It took a second or two for me to answer.
"Well, uh, yeah, I've always been gay. I'm gay as Christmas," I answered. "Why?"
"I guess it's because since you came along, I feel like I see people for who they really are now, and I'd never noticed it before."
"Yeah, well, we're everywhere, like they say."
Tess nodded. I don't know if she'd ever really paid any attention before, and now, it seems, we really were 'everywhere' she looked.
"Does it bother you?" I asked.
"No, not at all," she answered. "Well, maybe in that I'd been so blind to it. But it doesn't change how I feel about these people."
"Well, okay. That's good."
Tess nodded.
We rode through three more slow turns of the wheel and it was now full-on dark. On the last turn, we were at the top when the wheel stopped to let on more riders. Tess had one more question.
"Bishop, did you...leave anyone...behind...in Baltimore?"
I took that question for what it was. Was there a woman missing me?
I sighed. If my circumstances had been different, maybe if I'd been different, my answer might not have been so easy. "No," I shook my head. "...no."
Unless you counted me. And I wasn't missing 'me' as much as I'd have thought.
Maybe there was something to Tess's idea of a 'do-over.'
22
We exited the ride shortly after Tess's impromptu 'Q & A,' and played our way down the row of games one last time before heading over to the picnic tables to say goodnight to Coach Biggs and Carole. Coach stood up as we approached, smiling.
"Are you saying goodnight?"
"Yes, ma'am, but we just wanted to say 'thanks' for such a nice evening," I answered for us as Tess nodded her head.
"Well, you are most certainly welcome," Coach answered. "Tess, it's good to see you, I'm so glad you came," she added.
"Thank you for inviting me," Tess replied, smiling. "It was nice meeting you, Carole."
Carole, smiling, nodded and said "same here."
Our “goodnights” said, we left them to themselves and headed for the parking lot.
*****
Carole leaned over to Coach and asked, "Anything going on with those two?"
Coach shook her head. "Not that I know of," she replied. "I think Bishop's seeing Penny."
"Huh," said Carole. "They're cute together. They seem really comfortable with each other."
Coach nodded as she gave it some thought. "Well, ya know," she said, "you just never know."
*****
I drove Tess back to the carriage house. She looked happy. I was glad she'd had a good night, I was fairly certain that 'going out' wasn't something that happened that often for her. We got out and Rosie and Sophie were at the gate in seconds, barking their hellos, tails wagging. Rosie was adding a few grumbles in between her barks, most likely to chastise me for being late in serving their dinners. Tess laughed at her 'mouthiness.'
"She's a mess," Tess said, fondly.
"They both are," I agreed.
"So, I guess you're on your way to 'a little something.'"
I don't know why that statement made me a little uncomfortable, but it did. I just nodded. Tess was quiet.
"Bishop, just...be careful, okay?"
"Me?" I playfully pointed to myself. "Always. Well, okay, almost always."
Tess shook her head, a small, somewhat cynical smile playing on her lips. She stayed there, not moving, an arm's length from me. I caught the scent of her perfume and, once again, I felt the sudden urge to hug her.
It was Tess who took a step and her arms were around my shoulders, pulling me in. My arms were around her waist without my even considering it, and I held her close, her head against my shoulder.
The entire world suddenly went silent as I listened to her breathing, as I felt the warmth of her. I gently pulled her even closer and she settled against me as I breathed her in.
Tess broke first.
"Well, I'll...let you go, then," she said, her head down, as she did just that, her eyes not meeting mine. She tucked the teddy bear under her arm, dug her keys out of her pocket as she walked away from me to her car and unlocked the door. She paused, turned, and looked at me.
"Bishop, thank you. I had a really good time."
I nodded. I was off-kilter, her closeness had left me a little unsteady and I didn't know what I was feeling. "Me, too, Tess," I managed with a small smile.
Tess smiled in turn, got in her car, and started the engine. I watched as she pulled away from the curb, giving me a small wave, still smiling as she passed by. I waved back and watched her car a
s it disappeared down the street.
Once again, I felt guilty.
And, once again, I didn't know why.
23
Tess absentmindedly drove the streets of Tenley. She knew the town like the back of her hand, could drive it in her sleep if she had too, she speculated. It was an aimless and mindless wandering as she replayed the events of the day in her head. She smiled when she thought of Bishop, watching her take down the targets at the arcade, giving her the teddy bear now riding shotgun in the Crown Vic. She liked thinking about Bishop, liked watching her play with the dogs, making her laugh, aggravating her when she picked on her, giving her a 'hard time.' There was something about her, something about Bishop that made her happy, but lonely, and she'd never met anyone like her before.
Granted, Bishop had a past, thought Tess, though she was less inclined to believe Bishop was violent, that she would deliberately hurt anyone, but it was still something she'd had to consider. Bishop herself had been beaten, shot, and left for dead by an unnamed 'person of interest,' in the now on-going investigation, before she had been brought to Tenley, and there was no explanation of who would do that, or why, in her file.
Someone with a criminal past could be rehabbed, though, thought Tess, with the proper interventions and influences, right? Isn't that what the Witness Security Program was all about? That the people that they took in became members of the law-abiding population of society? Bishop had admitted that she was happy with her life, content, and to Tess it seemed highly unlikely that she'd revert to the person that she was in Baltimore.
She had asked Bishop if she missed Baltimore and she was glad to know that the choices she'd made for Bishop had been good ones, that Bishop was satisfied enough to prefer her new life over the one she'd left behind.
It was close to twelve-thirty when Tess found herself on the outskirts of the eastern end of Tenley, out by the river. She knew where she was going all along, she had just taken the 'scenic way' out to the house. Peering through the darkness of the pine trees in the front yard, she saw that the table lamp in the kitchen was still on, the TV flickering in the darkness of the living room. She wouldn't be waking anyone tonight.