by B. D. Gates
Tess put the vehicle in park and made her way to the front door, the small penlight on her key chain lighting her way. The door opened before she reached it and Fowler turned on the front porch light.
"Hey, sweetie, everything okay?" he asked Tess as she mounted the front porch steps.
"Yeah, great, Joe, I hope I'm not interrupting anything."
"Just watching the sports report. Ginnie is in her sewing room, I told her you were here," he said, as he held the door open for her. Tess passed through and was met by Ginnie coming from her hobby room at the back of the house.
"Hey, girl, how are you?" Ginnie asked, giving Tess a hug. Ginnie was in her fifties, blond, shoulder-length hair streaked with silver and pulled back in a pony tail tied with a red bandana. She wore denim shorts, a pink t-shirt and sandals, looking like the free spirit she had always been. Tess hugged her back. This woman, this couple, along with Whyte and his wife, had been with her through the worst events in her life, and Tess would always find herself out here when she needed some advice, or just the company of people who could make her feel connected to the world she lived in. She had practically been adopted into the family, a girl in a house full of boys, now grown men, who'd all left and were finding their own ways in the world.
To Ginnie, Tess was the daughter she'd never had, and she took great responsibility in seeing that Tess always had a place to go, someone to turn to whenever, and for whatever, she needed.
"What brings you here at this late hour?" Ginnie asked, still holding Tess by the arms.
Tess shrugged, unwilling to really verbalize the jumble of thoughts in her head, at least, not with Fowler standing there.
"Well, I'll tell you what, you come right out here into the kitchen with me, I'll put the kettle on and we'll have a cup of tea." Ginnie held Tess's hand as she led her through the living room.
Tess nodded, following Ginnie out to the kitchen.
Joe just shrugged his shoulders and sat back down in the lounger. He could tell that this was not a conversation that he wanted to be involved in.
Tess sat down at the table while Ginnie filled the teakettle and put it on the burner. The gas starter click, click, clicked and caught, the blue flame on high under the kettle bottom. Ginnie preferred leaf tea. As she loaded the stainless steel tea balls with her signature blend of leaves, designed to calm and soothe rattled nerves (and who wouldn't want something to calm and soothe, living in a house with three boys and a man), she glanced over at Tess, trying to get a read on the topic for the evening.
Work? no, Joe kept her up on work issues, there didn't seem to be anything there. Dating? hmm, possibly, but Joe hadn't mentioned anyone, there had been only two men in Tess's life after her father was killed, but men are not really intuitive when it came to matters of the heart, so maybe that was it. Or maybe it was that there were no men in Tess's life, and she'd come for some reassurance that there was someone out there for her, trying to get to her just like she was trying to get to him.
Ginnie set the cups, spoons, and tea balls on the table, checking the honey in the little bear sitting in the lazy susan at the table's center. There was enough. The kettle whistled, the cups were poured, and Ginnie was taking her seat, placing Tess's cup in front of her.
"Now then," she said, as if to start the therapy session.
Tess stared into her tea cup, watching the steeping tea darken the water inside. She did not know how to start. Where to start. Was Ginnie going to find what she had to say distressing? She didn't think so, Ginnie was more progressive than anyone she knew in Tenley, but she just didn't know how Ginnie was going to respond to what Tess had to tell her. So, Tess started there.
"Ginnie," Tess said in a near-whisper. "I don't know how you're going to take what I've got to say. In fact, I've never said this, anything like this before, in my life, so I don't know how to do it."
Ginnie gauged Tess' anxiety. Whatever it was, it was big, and Tess seemed to be a little scared about it.
"Well, honey, you know I love you, we love you, you can tell me anything. We will still love you."
"Oh, I know, I mean, of course, it's just, I've never thought about this before, I'm not sure what's really going on..."
"Tess, honey, just spit it out."
Tess leaned in. "Ginnie," she whispered. "I think I'm in love with her."
"Her. Her, who?"
"Bishop. Baxter. Lisa Baxter. Oh god, she's right, that name is just completely wrong for her."
"Your witness?"
"Yes."
Ginnie sat back, blinking, as she picked up the tea strainer chain and swirled the ball in the hot water. She was caught off-balance. This was totally unexpected. Not that she hadn't had conversations like this, especially when she was in New York, but that had been years ago, a lifetime ago. Now, she had a young woman sitting across from her, a young woman who was well-known and respected, one who had the full support of the Town of Tenley, professing her love for another woman. This was not New York. It was not something that could be kept under cover, not with the way the gossips worked in this town.
24
Ginnie had met Bishop--Lisa Baxter--just after she'd arrived from Baltimore. Tess, Whyte, and Joe had been splitting the shift watches, and Ginnie had begun bringing Joe his meals every day, since the take-out options were not the best choices for her husband. She had looked in on the girl in the bedroom, who'd been awake when she'd peeked in, saw her hollow eyes, her pallor, and instinctively knew that she was not recovering well.
Ginnie entered the bedroom, the dogs sitting up, taking notice of the woman approaching their 'alpha,' but they just watched. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, she looked the girl over. She was malnourished, was probably a good fifteen pounds or more under weight.
"Hi, Lisa, my name's Ginnie."
The girl nodded once, her 'hello.'
"Are you hurting anywhere?"
She shook her head.
"Are you hungry?"
Again, another head shake.
Ginnie's heart broke as she took her in, looked her over, as she remembered the young men and women from the streets that she'd taken care of in the City.
Ginnie quizzed Joe about her, learning that Lisa didn't eat much of the food from the hospital, brought in daily by the home health nurses, that she hardly ever took more than a few bites before she'd push the plates away. Ginnie took it upon herself to bring vanilla milkshakes fortified with protein powder that she made for her at home when she brought Joe his plate. She was happy that the girl would drink those readily, even if she wouldn't eat the food. Ginnie dropped in twice a day over the next two weeks or so, whether Joe was on duty at the time or not, bringing the vanilla shakes, leaving several in the small freezer for times she might be hungry between meals, instructing the detectives to give her one any time but especially if she didn't eat.
Over time, Ginnie could see the muscle building back in Lisa's arms and legs. The stare had disappeared as well, her blue eyes were brighter, and Ginnie would receive a smile and a soft 'thank you' when she handed her the cup.
Ginnie understood how Tess could be drawn in, be confused in her feelings for the girl.
"Tess, is she gay?"
Tess nodded. "Yeah, she is. We've talked about it. A little, anyway."
"But you're not really sure about what you feel? Because, maybe, it's that you feel you're responsible for her in some way, you know, that you've got an interest in her life because you're helping her." Ginnie had those feelings for Lisa. It was a proprietary feeling, she was 'Ginnie's patient,' especially after she responded to Ginnie's expert care. She'd 'fallen' for the girl, too, had 'adopted' her, much like she'd adopted Tess.
Tess shook her head. "No, Ginnie," she said, keeping her voice low. "I thought about that, too. It's more than that. Really, she's just...I can't describe it. She...she makes me laugh, but she can be so infuriating, and she's so sweet and thoughtful, totally charming, but absolutely aggravating, and...mostly, well, it's just tha
t...when I have to leave her, Ginnie, I don't...I don't want to go. But...she's seeing someone else."
"Oh, Tess." To be in love with someone who was involved with someone else. No matter the mix of sexes. That was the heart breaker. "I'm so sorry."
"So, Ginnie, what do I do? What can I do?"
"Well, what do you want to do?"
"I want to tell her how I feel. How when we're together I'm happier than I've ever been. That when I look into her eyes, she just takes my breath. That I think about her all the time."
"Tess," Ginnie reached across the table and took her hand. "Listen, this could just be an infatuation, you're dealing with someone...a type of person you've never dealt with before, and it could be that you're just, well, taken with her because she's 'different,' you know?"
Tess shook her head, her voice still low. "No, Ginnie, it's not an infatuation, I've had those before, this is, it's...well, I don't know how to describe it. It's not like anything I've ever felt before, not even with Jackson. I mean, I loved Jackson, but I wasn't 'in love' with him. Not if this is what being in love really feels like. No, this is more powerful than anything I've ever felt. And I've tried to fight it, I really have, especially when she pisses me off, but it just comes right back."
Ginnie shook her head. This was, most likely, love, but after that, well, she didn't know what to tell Tess.
"You say she's seeing someone else. Is it serious? Can you tell?"
"They've only just started dating, since the start of softball, but I don't know."
"Do you think she knows how you feel?"
"No, I don't think so."
"Do you think she has feelings for you?"
Tess sighed. "I'm don't know, maybe I'm imagining things, we've spent a lot of time together since the end of the full-time surveillance, she's cooked dinner for me, in fact, we've eaten dinner together quite a bit, spent the evenings together, and...sometimes she looks at me like...I don't know, the look on her face, it's soft and sweet but there's more underneath that, like there are things that she's not saying, but really, I just don't know. And maybe that's the biggest problem, I have all these questions but I don't have any answers. I just know how I feel and it's exciting and miserable all at the same time."
"Tess, dear, you're going to have to tell her, if only to get the answers you're looking for. Otherwise, you'll always wonder."
Tess nodded. "I know, but..."
"But...what? You know that you won't get any answers unless you say something, and you also know that it's a risk you're going to have to take."
"I just...I don't want to lose her, Ginnie. I'm afraid that if I tell her how I feel about her, she'll walk away, that it would end our friendship, and then I wouldn't have her at all."
"Do you think she'd do that? That she'd never want to see you again?"
"I don't know," Tess whispered.
Ginnie sipped her tea. "Well, honey, I don't think I've been much help at all. I do think you need to talk to her, tell her how you feel about her, to find out if she feels the same for you or you'll never get past it. Whatever you do, though, please let me know how it all goes. And Tess, I meant what I said about loving you. You should know you will always have Joe and me in your corner."
Tess nodded. "I know. Thank you, Ginnie."
They sipped their tea, the sound from the TV and Joe's snoring the only noise in the house. When the cups were empty, Tess stood up and gave Ginnie a quick hug, another quiet "thank you," and showed herself out.
Tess was feeling better, but only slightly, after talking with Ginnie. It was late now, nearly one-thirty. She steered the car toward Henderson Road, which was back through town. Passing on Main Street, she couldn't help but make the turn down the side street past the carriage house. Looking over as she drove by, she noted that it was quiet and dark inside, except for the small lamp on the kitchen counter illuminating the back window that looked over the porch and yard.
No Jeep.
Tess had wished that it had been parked on the street, that Bishop had been home, because she would have taken that opportunity to tell her, to tell Bishop that she was in love with her.
Tess sighed and turned left at the end of the block, then left again to Main Street. Right onto Main and she headed for home. The tears began to flow as she exited the town limits, her heart aching in a way it never had before. She was in love with someone who had no idea how she felt.
That was going to have to change.
25
With the girls fed and Smokey's bowl full of chow, I changed clothes, grabbed my cell, and the charger this time, and headed out to Penny's. Pulling up into her yard at about eleven-fifteen, I noted six other cars already parked, a small fire burning in a pit a short distance from the house, down near the lake, and shadow bodies moving about in the darkness between the two. Getting out of the Jeep, I heard the music playing from the trees down at the pit, laughter and loud voices coming from both the porch and gathering around the fire.
I opened the screen door, seeing Jacks and a girl I thought I recognized, and Harry, standing at a keg, pumping the tap.
"Hey, look who's here!" Jacks yelled, grabbing me in a bear hug. "Baxter, you beautiful slugger, where's your girl?"
"Girl..." I repeated.
"The smokin' hot chick you were with at the fair. Damn, did you lose her somewhere?" Jacks had stepped back, was still holding me by the shoulders. I looked past Jacks. Penny was standing in the open doorway, arms crossed, leaning on the door jamb.
"No, man, didn't lose her," I answered, still looking at Penny.
Penny walked over to Jacks and smacked her on the arm. "Let her go, Jacks, she's mine," she said with a smug smile on her face, taking my arm and pulling me towards her, and out of Jacks' grasp.
"Hello." Penny slid her arms around my waist and held me close, turning her face up to mine for a kiss. I obliged and Penny met my mouth, giving me a short, but passionate, kiss.
"Well, dayum, Baxter," Jacks exclaimed, laughing. "You dawg!"
I just smiled back, still holding Penny close. We were joined by Jacks' girl, who'd been with her at the fair, and who she introduced to me as Bridget. I nodded 'hey,' still smiling.
"C'mon Jacks, let's go sit down by the fire." Bridget wrapped her arm through Jacks' as Harry handed her a red cup full of beer. "Thanks, Harry," said Jacks as Bridget steered her out the door and down the porch steps. Harry looked at Penny.
"Let's keep her from getting as smashed as last month," said Penny. "For Bridget's sake," she added. Harry nodded.
I looked questioningly at Penny.
"Jacks can get really loud and obnoxious," Penny informed me. "Bridget's been a good influence on her, and maybe what happened was because Jacks had finally broken up with her girlfriend of two years, but I really want to keep the drama to a minimum."
I nodded. I understood. I had seen enough parties go to hell in an instant because one person couldn't hold her booze.
"Now," said Penny, as she led me by the hand into the kitchen. "What can I get you?"
Her counter was loaded with a variety of liquors, from clear to dark. My only problem was choosing.
"What do you recommend?" I asked.
"Well, I'm drinking a rum-and-coke," Penny answered. "That's the specialty of the house."
I nodded, confirming my order, and Penny set to work mixing my drink.
"So, how was your date?" Penny asked as she added ice to a cup, combined the rum and coke.
"Date? Penny, it wasn't a date," I clarified. "Tess is just a friend."
"Baxter, honey, I've seen her looking at you."
"What does that mean?"
"She just...'looks' at you. I can't put it into words, but she gets a look on her face that anyone could read if they catch it. It's not there all the time, but she's thinking about you, Baxter."
This conversation was making me uncomfortable and what I really wanted was to have a nice night with Penny, one that did not include what Tess was, and was not, think
ing about me.
"Penny, really, Tess is just a friend," I said, as I moved around to her side of the counter. I took her in my arms and held her tight against me. "You, on the other hand, are my amazing, fantastic, outrageously 'fun' girl, and I am very happy to be here with you."
In a playful way, Penny smirked and rolled her eyes. "That's it, I get it, you're just trying to get me to take you to bed!"
I grinned a wicked grin. Nodded.
Penny laughed. "Well, you're just going to have to wait, I've got a house, and yard, full of crazy-ass women to party with," she said, as she ran her hands up under my shirt, stroking my back with her hands, alternating with her nails. Her touch made me shiver and she felt it, causing her to smile that sly, knowing smile she gets when she knows she's turning me on.
I am just putty in her hands. Her warm, sure, sexy hands.
I leaned down and kissed her, slowly and lightly tonguing her mouth, pulling back as if to end the kiss, then moving back into her, my tongue teasing as I rubbed and squeezed her buttocks. I could feel her warming against me as she moved into me, and I pulled her closer.
"Oh, Baxter, don't stop," she sighed as I ended the kiss, still rubbing her back and buttocks. "Don't stop."
I leaned back and looked down at her. She looked up into my eyes, that one look telling me everything. She took my hand and led me to the bedroom. I closed the door behind us, then pulled her back and pushed her up against it. Our mouths met in long, hard kisses, my hands alternately stroking and squeezing as they roved over her. She was breathless as I took her, hard and fast, holding her in place, my body pressing hers against the door.
"Damn you, Baxter," she whispered hoarsely. "What you do to me..."
My mouth under her ear, against her throat, I growled my pleasure. "It's what you do to me," I countered. I was still pressed against her, my hands still wandering. She slapped me lightly on the butt, smiling. "I've got people here, I can't stay in here with you. You are a bad influence," she said, smiling as she admonished me.