They All Fall Down

by Cat Hogan

  She didn’t know what to say. It felt weird not doing her usual thing and being told what to do with her morning. The cheek of him! Then again, how many times had she wished someone would do just that for her?

  Before she could even reply, Danny was back in the kitchen. He was ready to leave – a miracle. Butch was hopping round with excitement. He could sense a change in the air and wanted to be in on the action. Danny gave him the usual hugs and kisses, part of the morning ritual, and something he never forgot to do.

  ‘Let’s go, Andy. Bye, I love you, Mam!’ He was gone out the door in a flash.

  Andy just laughed and followed him.

  Butch disconsolately settled down on the mat inside the door.

  Jen basked in the pure silence and the freedom for a moment. It felt wonderful. She made herself another cup of tea and wandered back up the stairs. She was in the middle of a great novel – Wally Lamb’s I Know This Much is True – but it had lain neglected over the last few weeks. This was her chance to play catch-up. She was curled up in the bed with her cup of tea when her thoughts turned to Andy. He was such a gentleman, and bloody gorgeous. Don’t go there, Jen, she admonished herself. Keep life simple. Her hand had gone automatically to her chest area, her own secret, and the reason behind every handleless cooking pot in the house.

  Her mind drifted back to that morning. She was only a child and was home from school ill. The memory was hazy at best but she lived with the consequences every day. Her mother was making something and it smelled delicious. Mammy was out on the doorstep with the postman, and Daddy was in work. Mammy had always told her to stay away from the stove but she would show her what a big girl she was. She went to the Aga, and reached for the handle to lift the pot down. The whole pot tipped down on top of her. By a miracle, the liquid missed her face, but her whole chest and torso took the wave. Doctors later said she was lucky to be alive, but she had done irreparable damage to her chest area, was scarred for life and her body would never develop normally. She was revolted by the look of her body as a teenager and in her early twenties. Never had a boyfriend. Well, apart from Will. He knew all about the scary scars. She knew that she had to get over this, or at least speak to someone about it. She was also obsessive-compulsive about safety with Danny, hence the no handles, and the escape drills and the fire drills. She was getting better but it was still an issue. She and Sal argued all the time about it.

  She could never let Andy see her naked.

  Jesus Christ, Jen! You’re thinking about your housemate seeing you naked. What the hell has got into you? She kicked any thought of Andy and her scars out of her head, and picked up her book again.

  The trill of the phone woke her up. She felt groggy, mid-morning naps a thing alien to her usual routine. She grappled for her phone and squinted at the screen. It was Sal.

  ‘Hey, Sal!’

  ‘Good morning, Miss Harper. Have I got news for you!’

  ‘Please let it be of the good variety,’ she said, untangling herself from the blankets.

  ‘Are you at home? I’ll come down.’

  ‘Yep.’

  ‘Don’t sound so enthusiastic about your friend coming over. Hit the kettle, I’m at Mam’s. I’ll be there in five.’

  She hung up. Jen thought about Tess. There was no point in calling down to her at lunchtime – she would have no time to talk. She fired off a quick text asking how she was.

  The kettle had boiled when Sal came through the back door, with the usual box of Maltesers and shortbread biscuits in hand. She smacked of sea air, linseed oil and turpentine and her skirt-tails left a trail of damp sand on the kitchen floor. She had been down to visit her mam, and had taken the short cut to Jen’s across Stony Strand.

  Greeting Jen with a hug, she sat down at the table.

  ‘Right, hit me, Sal – what’s your news?’

  ‘Well. Where do I start? As you know I got turned down for the bursary with the Arts Council. Such a pain in the arse. If I’d got that, I could have afforded to give up the part-time work and paint full time – but anyway, maybe next year.’

  ‘But you’re managing for money with the classes and stuff, aren’t you? I’ve never heard you complain before.’

  ‘Oh yeah, I’m all right for money, and I’m getting busier. Anything to make ends meet, eh?’ She was talking at a rate of knots. ‘Anyway, enough about that boring money stuff, Jen. I’m too excited to get side-tracked!’

  ‘Sorry, my fault. Tell me your news.’

  ‘Drumroll, please, Jennifer Juniper!’

  ‘Spit it out, woman! I’m dying to know!’

  ‘You are looking at the next Irish Exhibitor in the Oscar Gallery in Dublin! This place is only a step away from the big nationals and, because they are giving me representation, it increases my chances of exhibiting all over the country. This is massive, Jen. I am so fricking excited. Do you remember that series of portraits I did? The ones you reckoned would make great album covers? They’re the ones.’

  ‘Sal, that’s fantastic news! I remember you talking about that gallery back in our schooldays. Holy Moly, how did that come about? How does it work like?’

  She jumped up out of her seat to hug her friend, and sat down again grinning. This really was amazing news, and something that Sal had been working towards for a lifetime.

  Sal munched on a few Maltesers but, even eating, couldn’t suppress the smile.

  ‘The Mecca for me has always been the National Modern Art Gallery. I’m a step closer to that now, and maybe even the Turner Prize. There will be no stopping me. Jen, you have no idea how difficult it is to get in there. I am an absolute nobody in the Art world, but this is an opportunity to get out there and really get a name for myself.’

  Sal really deserved a lucky break – she was a gifted artist. She had run a really successful exhibition the previous year during the Opera Festival and had featured in a couple of national magazines. It was only a matter of time before she really got it out there.

  ‘So what happens now, Sal? When will the exhibition be on?’

  ‘It takes a few weeks to get everything into place, and then there will be a little launch. Because the Oscar Gallery is now representing me, they will look after all the PR stuff. All my paperwork is in order, and I’m sure contracts will be involved.’

  Sal had the added gift of being a really savvy businesswoman. She had a good logical brain for business, a very effective system of work, and didn’t fit into the stereotypical idea of an airy-fairy artist.

  ‘Sal, I’m so chuffed for you and your news has just made my day. Let’s celebrate with lunch. We can save the Prosecco for the launch!’

  Jen made her way to the fridge to see what she could put together. She had plenty in the fridge, and it was soon decided that a warm chicken salad with crusty soda bread would be perfect.

  They chatted on about the exhibition but, when they settled down to eat, Sal said: ‘Well, Jen, that’s all my news. What’s the story with you?’

  ‘Ah, all is good with me, hon. Just trying to settle in here, and I’m still working part-time in La Mer. I’ve been so busy over the past couple of weeks. I haven’t really had a chance to catch up with anyone – sorry I haven’t really been in touch. Andy has been great – he’s a pleasure to share the house with, and looks after all the man stuff. He even dropped Danny to school for me this morning.’

  ‘Jennifer Juniper Harper! I know that tone of voice, and that face! You fancy him, don’t you?’

  ‘Don’t be daft, Sal – he’s my housemate! It would be too messy. Remember you and your fella in college? No, thanks.’

  ‘Jen, stop making excuses – you’re as red as a tomato there! Look at you! You fancy him. No point in lying to Sally Pally Pee here: I know you too well.’

  Jen didn’t answer. Her brain was too busy catching up with what Sal had just said. She fancied the pants off her housemate. How could she not fancy him? He was what every woman wanted in a man.

  ‘Aha, Jen, has the penny f
inally dropped? Why do you think Aunty Pat went to such great lengths to ensure you two would be under the same roof? I love it. Aunty Pat is still a legend. Matchmaking from the spirit world.’

  ‘Ah, Sal, will you stop! The fumes from the turps is frying your brain. I’m going to the bathroom – your artistic brain needs a rest.’

  Jen looked at herself in the bathroom mirror. Sal had hit the nail on the head. That was Aunty Pat’s plan. So typical of her, she thought. How did I not guess myself? Oh no. This is not going to go anywhere. He’s a nice man, but I don’t have time for a relationship and especially one with a live-in housemate. Too complicated and I have to think of Danny.

  ‘There’s no point in standing in there talking to yourself in the mirror, Jen!’ Sal shouted up the stairs. ‘Come back down here!’

  When Jen returned to the kitchen, she took one look at Sal and they started to laugh. They had an almost telepathic understanding of each other.

  ‘Sal, you open your mouth to Andy and I will never speak to you again,’ she said as she sat down. ‘This would be way too messy, especially with Danny and anyway he has enough of his own baggage. And he’s leaving the country in a few months for good, so it’s pointless.’

  Sal didn’t believe in the softly softly approach in any area of her life, and she was known for her straight talking. Some would call it a lack of tact – Sal called it good sense. No point in wasting precious time, she would say – grab the bull by the horns and just go for it.

  ‘Sal, I mean it. Keep your mouth firmly closed. I have Danny to think about.’

  ‘OK, OK, Jen. I won’t interfere. But seriously, don’t let this one pass you by. You have done that too many times in the past. I know you are a great mam, and you always put Danny first. But you deserve to have a bit of a life that extends outside of him and work. You have no life apart from that.’

  ‘Jesus, thanks a bunch, Sal. You make me sound like such a bland person.’ Jen was hurt by the last comment, partly because she knew it was true.

  ‘You are bland, Jen, and your life is pretty bland at the moment. Inject a bit of colour and passion into it. You deserve a bit of fun, and you deserve a good man in your life.’

  Sal knew Jen. She also knew that Jen would listen to her. She had devoted herself completely to Danny but there would come a time where Danny would grow up and fly the nest. Jen knew that too but she had put her life on hold. She needed to start living, now.

  ‘Jen, are you listening?’

  ‘I am, and you’re right. It drives me nuts how well you know me sometimes, Sal. Yes, I fancy my housemate.’

  The two of them sat there in silence, finishing the last of the lunch.

  ‘Sal, what am I going to do?’

  ‘Jen, my darling, you are going to seduce your housemate the next night Danny is with his dad.’

  ‘Stop it, woman! I wouldn’t know what to do with him, and anyway, he would get sick if he saw my scars. He could have any woman he wanted in the village but, because of Sharon, he has shut down.’

  Jen heard the van in the drive before Sal did.

  ‘Shhhh, Sal, he’s back. Don’t say a fecking word. I mean it.’

  When Andy walked into the kitchen, he was greeted by Sal laughing and Jen looking flustered.

  ‘Hi, ladies!’ He raised an eyebrow at them. Women – they were a strange breed.

  ‘How are things with you, Sal? I haven’t seen you in ages. Are you hanging on the walls of the Louvre yet?’

  Sal proceeded to fill Andy in on her good news and he was thrilled for her. He too knew how gifted she was, and couldn’t have been happier for her.

  ‘You girls should go out to celebrate. I won’t be going back out fishing until Monday, Jen, so if you want a night out, I’ll sit with Danny,’

  Before Jen could say a word, Sal had a plan formulated.

  ‘Sure Danny is going to Will at the weekend. Why don’t we all go out? Maybe Tess and Doc would come as well, Jen? That sounds like a plan. Friday night, in the Gale. What do you think, Andy, my man? Could you handle a night out with the girls?’

  Sal saw the look on Jen’s face, and proceeded to kick her under the table.

  ‘Yeah, sure, Sal, that sounds like a plan to me,’ said Andy. ‘I haven’t had a good night out in ages. I think there’s a band playing down there as well. Jen?’

  Andy turned his full attention to her, and under his gaze she couldn’t think of a good enough excuse to object.

  ‘OK, I’m in,’ she said, then added, ‘I’ll cook if you want. We can have dinner here first, and then take a stroll down.’

  Sal could have kissed Jen when she heard that suggestion. There she was – playing ball! Jen was back. Just like the old days. She couldn’t look at her for fear of bursting out laughing.

  ‘Cool. I’ll help you with the cooking, Jen.’ Andy gave her a little shove as he got up to make tea. ‘You might even learn a thing or two from me.’

  ‘Well, Andy, you were the one who had an eight-year-old teaching you how to cut a sandwich this morning – so, although I appreciate the offer of your culinary skills, I think I’ll pass.’

  She stuck her tongue out and they all laughed.

  ‘How is the planning going for the round-the-world trip, Andy? Are you still going?’ Sal enquired innocently.

  ‘Planning for it is going well, Sal. I have my ticket to Alaska booked. That’s the first stop. Then head south – Canada, North and South America. I’ll figure out the rest as I go along. Departure date is January the seventh. Just need to keep saving now.’

  Sal wished she hadn’t asked the question. She hadn’t realised he had the damn ticket booked. There was no backing out of it now for him. Sal and Jen both knew that he had this trip planned. Aunty Pat had also talked about it with him, and that had led to some mirthful stories about her travel adventures back in the day.

  ‘Are you going on your own, or are you going as part of a group?’

  ‘Flying solo, and meeting a couple of friends from my college days somewhere in Vancouver. My friend Scott is thinking about joining me, but we’ll see what happens.’

  Jen listened with interest as Andy spoke about his planned expedition. She couldn’t get involved with someone who was leaving in a few months. It wouldn’t be fair on any of them, especially not her little Danny. Sal was a romantic and what she was angling at was right: Jen did need to get out and start living a bit. But Jen was a realist and went out of her way to avoid any kind of drama. There would be no wild romance or seductions under this roof.

  ‘That all sounds amazing, Andy, but when do you think you’ll be back?’ It was out of Jen’s mouth before she could stop it. To try and correct the impatience in her voice, she added, ‘I mean, are you going for good or are you just going on an extended holiday?’

  Sal tried to suppress a laugh – she was well used to Jen’s filter between brain and mouth going into shutdown.

  ‘The answer is, I don’t really know, Jen,’ he said. He seemed oblivious to what had just happened. ‘I guess with everything that’s gone on over the past couple of years, I’ll just go and see what happens. I want to get out of this place for a while and see what the world has to offer. The bigger picture, see what all the fuss is about.’

  Sal changed the subject rapidly. ‘So, Jen, what’s your plan for the rest of the day?’

  ‘I have to collect the boy from school and we are going to do something for the afternoon. I’ve had no time to just hang out with him lately.’

  ‘Ah, he’s a great little guy, Jen,’ Andy said. ‘And he comes out with some corkers all right. You should have heard him this morning giving out about how people were parking outside of the school. It was priceless – he had me in fits of laughter.’

  ‘You know where he gets it from, Andy,’ said Sal. ‘Jen has no patience at all. She wants everything done yesterday.’

  Andy laughed, and stood up to clear the table.

  ‘What do you think, Andy?’ Sal enquired as she stared at Jen.
‘Would you be really patient if you wanted something in particular or would you just go and get it?’

  The comment was loaded, and Jen felt like killing her friend. ‘Look at the time!’ She jumped up from the table. ‘I’d better go get a parking space before the madness starts up there. Come on, Sal, I’ll give you a lift.’

  ‘Ah, you’re fine, Jen – I’ll stroll back down to Mam’s in a bit.’

  ‘Sal, I insist.’ Her tone of voice ruled out any further protest. She grabbed her coat and bag and waited for Sal to do the same. He must think we’re a pair of loons, she thought.

  ‘OK,’ said Sal. ‘Don’t forget Friday night now, Andy – it’ll be great fun.’

  ‘No bother, Sal, I’ll be there. See you later, girls.’

  Andy chuckled to himself as they left the kitchen. He remembered the two of them knocking around together in the harbour as teenagers. He was a bit older, but they hadn’t changed a bit.

  ‘Get into that car, Sal, before I kill you.’ Jen fired up the engine of her beloved Saab, and they took off up the road giggling.

  ‘Look, Jen. You need to just go with the flow for a bit. There is chemistry there, I’m telling you. I saw the way he looked at you, and he really likes Danny. Get it out of your head for now that he’s leaving and let’s just organise Friday night.’