They All Fall Down

by Cat Hogan

  The apartment was quiet. Scott wasn’t back yet. Flashes of the previous day came back to him, leaving Weybridge coked out of his mind, and driving to Clara’s apartment rather than the hospital. In a strange way, he thought he was doing the right thing by not going to the hospital in the state he was in. He vaguely remembered the journey and shuddered to think what would have happened if the Guards had pulled him over. He remembered the row that ensued between him and Clara, who had not entertained him for too long before turning him out onto the street. She lived in a pretty rough area, but in his state he didn’t care. He went to the nearest early house. Memories of cheap whisky and drinking partners, and going back to a random dingy flat in the middle of the day, smoking joints and drinking warm cans. Anything to block out what was going on. Tess. Tess. Tess. He did remember that as soon as his stash of coke was gone, they were done with entertaining him, and showed him the door. Faceless people, people that he wouldn’t generally give the time of day to.

  Another vague memory of a taxi driver, reluctant to take him in his car, having to pay up before the journey even started. Luckily he remembered Scott’s address – it was located close to the Clontarf Castle Hotel, his saving grace – luckier still, he had just caught Scott on the way out the door. He would give him a bed for the night. Not satisfied to go to bed at that stage, he ransacked the drinks cupboard and pushed himself further into oblivion with a bottle of Jack Daniels.

  Was today Sunday or Monday?

  The shower felt like tiny darts all over him, his throat was sore from the vomiting. What the fuck was he going to do? Where was Tess, and was she OK?

  He vomited again, and watched the bile mix with the water on his feet.

  You have hit rock bottom now, Doc. You lying, cheating bastard. You should be ashamed of yourself. Your wife and your son deserve better. Your baby is dead. It’s all your fault.

  He couldn’t stop the train of thoughts coming.

  Everything felt surreal. He went into the kitchen and put the kettle on. Even that was a chore. His hands didn’t feel like his own – he couldn’t stop the shaking. He thought about food, but that’s as far as it went. Back to the bedroom he went, and threw on his stinking shirt and trousers. He had no recollection as to where his jacket was.

  ‘My car. Where is the fucking car?’ he asked the wall. He rifled through his pockets. Keys, phone, wallet – check. They were all there. Well, that’s a bonus, he thought.

  He turned on his phone, and waited. The messages started to come in, one after another after another. He was afraid to look but he had to. Out of nowhere, he started to cry. The fear had taken him over and he knew this was only the start of it. Your game is up, Doc.

  Most of the messages were from Clara, and they were vile for the most part. He deserved it, he wasn’t disputing that, but she was no lady. Notifications of three voice mails. Two of them were from Clara – he deleted them without listening to them. The other was from Jen. Simple and to the point, explaining to him his wife was still in hospital and his son was staying with them.

  He sat with his head in his shaking hands. He knew now it was Monday evening. His wife had been in hospital since the early hours of Sunday morning and she hadn’t bothered getting in touch with him to let him know what the story was. Nothing from her, not a thing. Was it any surprise that he was having an affair? She cut him out of everything. She didn’t deserve him really.

  His conscience had other ideas. Words like cheat, bastard, deserving of everything that is thrown at you, were flying around his head.

  He couldn’t stand the noise. He needed a drink.

  The sober and logical part of his brain screamed at him: ‘Get your act together, Doc! Get your car, and go home. Clean up the mess you have made and go see your wife. She’s in the hospital for fuck sake!’

  He opened a shoulder of vodka, and poured it down his neck. His stomach went into spasm but he kept it in there. He just needed to think for a bit.

  He sat down on the couch and reached for the television remote. The RTÉ news was on, meaning it was around six o’clock. The newscaster was droning on but his brain couldn’t keep up with her.

  ‘So, you found the vodka then?’

  Doc leapt up off the couch and let a roar out of him.

  ‘Scott! Are you trying to give me a heart attack, sneaking up on me like that?’

  ‘I live here, Doc. I wasn’t sneaking. If the damn TV wasn’t so loud, you might have heard me.’

  ‘Sorry, man.’

  ‘You need to lay off the booze, Doc, and get your shit together.’

  He really felt like shit now. Imposing on his friend, drinking all his booze, and it looked as though he had just worn out his welcome.

  ‘Have you rung her yet, Doc? Your wife, I mean, not your bit of skirt.’

  ‘No.’

  ‘I went to see Tess today.’

  Doc spun around on the couch and looked at him. ‘Is she OK?’

  ‘Of course she’s not OK. She was pretty sick, she lost the baby and has a nasty infection.’

  ‘Oh no!’

  Scott didn’t feel sorry for him. He had messed up, and got caught. If he hadn’t got so out of it on Saturday night, it might have turned out differently. Doc was greedy when it came down to it, and his fondness for recreational substances was beginning to take him over. That suited Scott – as long as Doc had a want for it, he would need him. He only brought Clara to the party as he knew Doc was starting to have second thoughts about working for him. He needed a bit of leverage. Now, maybe this would all work out to his advantage. Doc couldn’t live here of course – there could be no connection back to him – but he could set him up in a place and he would be really at his beck and call then.

  ‘She will remain in the hospital for a few days, and then will go home,’ he said. ‘Jen seems to have everything under control. Hugh is with her, and she has sorted out staff for the pub. She was the one who broke the news to your parents-in-law about the affair, and losing the baby. You might have had some hope of fixing things with Tess if Jen wasn’t on the scene, but she has really turned Tess against you now. You are fucked, man – home gone, wife gone, kid gone. As long as Hugh stays with Jen and her young lad, you won’t have a hope of seeing him.’

  Doc knew that Jen was a really loyal friend to Tess, and he knew he would be in for a roasting if he saw her, but the way Scott was describing her wasn’t really right.

  ‘Jen is just looking out for her friend, Scott. She’s not that bad.’

  ‘Well, according to your wife and your parents-in-law, Jen was the one that sealed the deal, and made Tess call a lawyer from her hospital bed, to initiate divorce proceedings.’

  ‘Nah, man, you’re getting it wrong about Jen. Tess is not that easily influenced. That would have been her call.’

  ‘Why are you defending her, you stupid fool? I was there with your wife today. I have it from the horse’s mouth. I tried to reason with her, and asked her to at least wait until she was feeling stronger before making any major decisions. She was having none of it.’

  Doc didn’t know what to think. Jen would be loyal to her friend and it wasn’t in her nature to interfere like that, but why would Scott lie? Divorce proceedings – what the hell, he thought. His head was spinning. His mind went back to the conversation on Friday night: ‘I’ll blow the whistle, Doc.’ Fucking bitch, Jen, you are a fucking bitch.

  ‘I need to call Tess now.’

  ‘No, you don’t, you need to let her cool off. Send her a text, and tell her you’re thinking of her and will be in touch soon. To be fair to you, she was the one that pushed you into Clara’s arms. Your marriage was on the rocks anyway – this just sealed your fate.’

  Doc really wanted to ring her. Just to speak to her and ask her if he could come down and talk to her. Even if she said no, at least she would know he had tried to make some form of contact.

  ‘And whatever you do, don’t ring Hugh. He is with Jen and she will not let you speak to him.’


  ‘He’s my son and Tess is my wife. I need to speak to them.’

  ‘Look, do what you want. But if I were you, I would have another drink there to calm the nerves and then think about calling them. Are you hungry? Maybe we should go and get something to eat. Let the dust settle, man – you’re in no state to go anywhere tonight. What if you ring her and she wants you to come to see her straight away? You can’t. Clara texted by the way – your car is clamped outside her apartment.’

  ‘Right, come on then. Let’s go get some food and a beer.’ He picked up his phone and dropped it into his pocket. ‘I’ll just get my shoes.’

  Scott took out his phone and texted Tess.

  Hi, Tess. I have tried to encourage Doc to give you and Hugh a call. He is a bit out of control at the moment, but is here and is alive. I will work on him. Get some rest and I’ll call you tomorrow. Scott X

  The response was swift.

  Really appreciate it, Scott, but I couldn’t care less. Chat tomorrow. T X

  Chapter 26

  ‘Looks like this weather is here to stay for a few days, Jen.’ Sal was soaked to the skin, and the brown-paper bag that had been wrapped around the wine bottle had disintegrated. ‘Is Andy due back in?’

  ‘Here’s a towel, Sal. Do you want to run upstairs and change into something of mine? You’re drowned!’

  ‘I have the PJ’s here, I’ll hop into them. So much for our balmy mid-August heatwave. Pfff! It’s always the same.’

  ‘Sal, quit with the weather talk, you sound like my mother. Dinner won’t be long.’

  Sal and Jen had organised a night in to have a proper catch-up.

  ‘How is Tess doing, Jen?’

  ‘She’s OK. Came home from hospital a few days ago and is definitely on the mend. You know Tess, she’s so strong. Just keeps ploughing on, and keeps it together. Little Hugh stayed here with us for the few days, while his nanny and grandpa kept vigil at her bedside. I don’t think I have ever seen her dad so angry – the poor man will either kill Doc or have a heart attack. They only know half the story of course.’

  ‘What do you mean, only half the story? I thought they knew about Clara?’

  ‘Yeah, they do. It’s complicated, Sal, and should be very private but it may have an effect on you, so I need to tell you.’

  ‘What?’ Sal looked distraught. ‘Surely no-one thinks I knew about this?’

  ‘No, nothing like that. Look, the short story is, Tess thinks that her infection may have been caused by something Doc passed on to her from Clara. She’s getting tested for STIs. You might want to get checked if you were sleeping with Scott the same time as she was.’

  ‘Oh for God’s sake, I feel sick now! Yeugh! What kind of STI?’

  ‘No, no, Sal, there’s no actual evidence of an STI. The doctors put the miscarriage down to stress and the urinary tract infection – which could be just a normal occurrence. It’s just that Tess has the notion that Doc might have given her the infection. All I’m saying is get it checked to be on the safe side.’

  ‘OK – Jesus Christ, where will I get the time for a doctor’s appointment? The exhibition launch is in a few days.’

  ‘You are going to have to make time, Sal.’

  Sal was pacing. ‘I feel disgusted now. Why did I sleep with him? I’m dreading the launch – what if he’s there?’

  ‘You’ll be fine, Sal. It’s going to be a great evening for you, and even if he does show up, we will be there with you, so don’t worry about it.’

  ‘Actually, Livia called me this morning, just to let me know everything was fine, and I wasn’t to worry about anything other than arriving on time to the event. She couldn’t guarantee that he wouldn’t be there, but she will, and will keep him in check – her words, not mine.’

  ‘Well, that’s good then.’

  ‘And what about Tess, Jen? Has she seen or heard from Doc?’

  ‘He finally sobered up and rang her. After a lot of grovelling and crying, she finally gave in and agreed to meet with him. Tomorrow.’

  ‘You don’t think …’

  ‘Not a chance of them getting back together if that’s what you were going to ask.’

  Jen stood at the stove and stirred some fresh basil into the arrabbiata sauce. The garlic bread was in the oven, and they were having a big bowl of salad with it. Sal had splashed out and bought a really good bottle of Sancerre, a favourite of Jen’s, even though she was predominately a red-wine woman.

  Sal was really excited about the exhibition. She had spent the previous day in the gallery discussing everything and they too were excited. They kept reassuring her that her talent was really rare, and it stood out from the crowd. Sal wasn’t convinced, but it made her feel proud anyway.

  Jen poured the sauce over the rigatoni as Sal lit the candles. It looked pretty in the kitchen, but the place was now like a furnace from the heat of the stove. They were sweating – it was just as well the wine was chilled.

  Jen put the pasta into a serving bowl, and the hot bread onto a board. She placed them in the centre of the table with serving spoons, plates and grated parmesan.

  Jen broached the subject gently. She wanted to know about it, but knew Sal was still feeling the after-effects of the fall-out with Scott.

  ‘Have you heard from him, Sal?’

  ‘Nope.’

  ‘Have you made contact with him?’

  ‘Yep.’

  ‘And?’ Jen spooned pasta onto her plate, and didn’t look at Sal while waiting for an answer.

  Sal tore garlic bread in two. ‘No response.’

  ‘What did you say to him, Sal?’

  ‘I just told him I appreciated what he had done as regards setting up the exhibition, but I would be grateful if he didn’t come.’

  ‘He won’t show, don’t worry.’ Jen believed he would absolutely make a point of showing up, making everyone uncomfortable, and then he would leave. She wouldn’t be surprised if he brought Doc and Clara along for the hell of it.

  ‘Jen, the reason I asked you if we could hang out tonight was I wanted to apologise properly for being such a silly cow.’

  ‘Apology accepted, Sal – now have some pasta.’

  She heaped pasta onto Sal’s plate and passed her the parmesan.

  ‘Jen, I’m serious.’

  ‘So am I, Sal.’

  ‘He just really sucked me in. Did a real sales job on me. I feel like a total fool. We spent a lot of time together over the last couple of months and I felt like I was getting to know him. I really thought we had a connection, and that he cared about me.’

  ‘Sal, we have all been blinded by men in the past. Don’t beat yourself up too much about it. I just can’t stand him and, to be totally honest, I’m a bit afraid of him now.’

  ‘He wasn’t happy about you and Andy getting together, that’s for sure. He spoke a lot about Andy’s wife, and how she kept him on such a short leash when Scott was around.’

  ‘Is it any wonder his wife kept an eye on him, Sal? Look at the crap that went on with Doc. But . . . did he ever say anything else about Sharon? Anything about her accident?’ Jen was on tenterhooks now. She wanted to tell Sal the whole story about what had happened in her house, what he had said to her and what his mother had said, but it might be dangerous to do so. She decided to keep quiet for now. She loved Sal but she wasn’t totally sure whether she still held a candle for Scott.

  ‘It’s funny you should mention that. He passed a couple of comments one night about it. We were in his place, having a few drinks, and he was talking about the night she died. He was fairly pissed, and he muttered something about her knowing it was going to happen. I thought he was just talking about the poor girl’s mental state. That weirded me out a bit and I just changed the subject. He was a bit of a freak in other ways too, if you get me.’ She threw a look at Jen.

  ‘Sal, I think I can live without the details of your sex life with him.’

  ‘I’m serious, Jen – I know we all have our preferences
, but he was a bit much to be honest – he liked to get a bit heavy-handed. I told him that wasn’t my thing, and he just called me a prude. I think he’s a bit of a closet 50 Shades of Grey fan.’

  ‘Sal, please, ewwww! That’s gross.’

  ‘Ah Jen, you sound like a teenager!’

  Sal was feeling a bit better about herself now, Jen could see. She needed to get stuff off her chest, and over a bottle of wine was the perfect time. Jen hoped she was sensible enough to steer clear of him, even if she did have any remaining feelings for him.

  ‘Do you still like him, Sal?’

  ‘Right at this moment, no, Jen. I think he’s a total arse, but if he sauntered up to me when I was full of wine, I don’t know if I could resist him. He’s so hot, and about as charming as they come – you have to agree with me on that one, Jen.’

  Jen didn’t answer. He was hugely attractive, there was no denying that, but his character made him very ugly in her eyes. The more she thought about everything, the more convinced she was becoming that he might have killed Sharon. She almost laughed at the notion of sitting at her kitchen table, trying to figure out how to catch a killer. Maybe she had read too many James Patterson novels and her imagination had got the better of her. It was all crazy. His threats were real, but did that make him a murderer?