by Cat Hogan
Andy had dealt with everything in his own way, but that too was working. They were coping well.
‘Right, come on then, you two. Your dad will kill me if you’re late,’ Andy said, and picked up the keys. ‘Dan, don’t forget the present. Are you ready, Jen?’
Danny ran ahead out to the car, excited about going to a proper party in a hotel.
‘No, not really, Andy.’
‘It will be OK – you have us with you, and it’s your parents’ wedding anniversary – you’ll be among friends.’ He squeezed her hand.
‘I know, I know, I just haven’t been out much as you know, and everyone will be home for Christmas. I just feel like they’ll be all talking about it.’
It was true, and he knew it. She hadn’t really been outside the door of the house save for school-related things in the last few months. She was afraid of what people were saying behind her back, she was afraid of what they would say to her face.
‘Jen, we will stick together, and it will be fine. No doubt they will have something else to talk about by the end of the night anyway.’
‘You’re right. Come on so, before I change my mind.’
She knew her mam wouldn’t relax until she saw her walk through the door of the function room, and sure enough, when she saw the three of them walk in, her face was a picture of relief.
‘Happy 40th Wedding Anniversary, Nanny!’ said Danny as he handed over the present. He had insisted on wrapping it himself, and it looked as though it had been left out in a storm. His nanny loved it. It was a memory box. Andy had made the wooden box, and Danny had painted it in all the colours of the rainbow. There was even a Lego Mr and Mrs stuck to the lid. He had spent hours drawing pictures and putting together photos to put inside for his grandparents.
Jen’s dad and Andy were in cahoots about something but it all seemed positive. It had taken a bit of time for her father to warm to the idea they were together but, once he did, he and Andy were good pals.
‘I’ll get the drinks in, Jen. Back in a minute,’ said Andy and he weaved through the crowd.
The whole village was there in the local hotel, and everyone was having a great time. The two-piece band were letting rip with a Hozier song, and already the dance floor was filled with neighbours and friends. Danny was off with two of his little chums from school. Everyone knew everyone.
Jen was still apprehensive. There were a number of faces dotted around the room that were back for the holidays, and more than one was looking in her direction. She wasn’t sure if she was being paranoid, or if that horrible Elizabeth was actually pointing and laughing. Another nut-job – the village Poison Ivy.
‘Come on out of that nutter’s eye-line, doll,’ Sal said. ‘You are giving her ammo by looking so nervous. I have a drink waiting for you.’ She steered Jen over to the reserved table, but not before giving the village gossip the evil eye. ‘Silly cow, she always had a thing for Andy anyway. You all right, Jen?’
‘I’m better now that I’m sitting down with you, Sal. I was expecting a bit of this anyway.’
‘They’ll be grand, feck them. They’ll have something else to gossip about soon enough. Don’t you dare let them ruin your night! Ah Jen, your parents are just the picture of romance. Forty years, can you imagine?’
They looked so sweet together, totally in tune with each other and they had always seemed to be so in love. Her dad of course wasn’t the most romantic man in the world, but he showed his true colours when they needed to be seen. Such a loving, loyal man. Her mother always told her she knew from the moment Pat had introduced them that they were meant to be together. And so it was. Forty years and still going strong. He was even taking her on a second honeymoon in a few weeks.
‘So, how have you been, Jen? How is the counselling going?’
‘It’s actually of real benefit to me, Sal. I’m coping and not as bad as I was when they first called off the search. I have come to terms with the fact he is not coming back, even though they didn’t find him.’
Sal was glad to hear this. When the search was first called off, Jen nearly lost her mind. She was convinced he was still alive and was going to come back and finish what he had started. But Sal had certainly seen a change over the last few weeks. Christmas was a good distraction. Santa would be arriving in a few nights and Danny was hyper.
‘Have you seen Tess?’
‘Ah Sal, I wanted to go see her when Doc got arrested, but to be honest I couldn’t be dealing with someone else’s drama at that moment. And I don’t know if she has really got over the fact I didn’t warn her about the affair.’ Jen took a swig from her wine. She could smell the food being prepared in the background. She was starving. The finger food wasn’t due to be served for another little while – she would have to make do with the nuts on the table.
‘Evening, fair maidens.’ Andy hopped in on the tail-end of the conversation. He nearly spilled Jen’s drink in the process.
He was a bit highly strung, and it made Jen uneasy.
Sal and Andy exchanged glances.
‘What’s up, guys?’ Jen asked.
‘Fine, fine,’ they both said and started to laugh.
Sal and Andy had got quite close after that night, and the three of them spent a lot of their evenings together.
‘What were you two whispering about anyway?’ Andy said.
‘Doc and Tess.’
‘It’s an unreal situation. What a mess.’
Doc had been pulled over in the car a few weeks previously, on suspicion of drink driving. The Guards had searched the car and found five kilos of cocaine stashed in the boot. He had been on his way to Dublin with it, and now was on remand in Clover Hill, awaiting sentencing.
They saw Hugh before they saw Tess. Jen was happy she had come down – it would be nice to see her.
Tess made her way over to Jen’s parents and, being the gentleman he was, he walked her over to them.
The girls embraced but it was strained. Jen could see she had lost weight – her friend had always been plump but the stress of it all now made her face look drawn.
‘Now Poison Ivy will have two of us to talk about.’ Tess waved over in Elizabeth’s direction as she took a seat.
They all laughed.
‘It’s good to see you all.’
‘You too, Tess. I’m glad you came. How are you?’
‘Living on my nerves, Jen. Waiting for that knock on the door of the pub. The money is gone, and the reality is I don’t know where it came from. It’s only a matter of time before someone comes a-knocking. But anyway, it’s just one of the many shit things at the moment. I made my bed and now I have to lie in it.’
Jen didn’t know how to respond to that.
‘But enough about the crap stuff, Jen. Let’s just have a few drinks and a laugh tonight.’ Tess hugged her again, and changed the subject.
‘They’re bringing the food out now. Brilliant. I’ll get some drinks, ladies, as long as you three sort out my food.’ Andy was gone again.
‘He’s just acting weird tonight, girls. Have either of you noticed that?’ Jen was beginning to get a bit worried – was all the pressure of baby-sitting her getting to him?
‘No more than usual!’ Sal said with a giggle.
The band took their break as the food came out, and the room was suddenly quiet. Everyone was sitting down and eating. There were about eighty people there, all friends of Jen and her parents, all from the community. A number of her father’s work colleagues were there too, and all in all there was a lovely vibe in the room.
Sal and Jen had come down to the hotel that morning and dressed the tables with candles and flowers. The place looked so pretty. Jen had put a collage together of pictures of her parents on their wedding day and every anniversary since. It was a lovely thing to see, and how they looked as happy now as they had on this day forty years ago.
As the staff cleared the tables, Jen’s father took his place in front of the mic. He thanked everyone for joining them on their
special evening. He spoke of life, and ups and downs, and the importance of love. There was more laughter than tears in the room as he spoke, but there wasn’t a dry eye in the place by the time he started to wrap it up. His wife then said a few words, and thanked the community for showing the family the level of support they had, over the last while. The New Year was less than a couple of weeks away and a time for a fresh start.
Then, before Mr Harper stepped down, he invited Andy to the stage to say a few words.
Jen was startled and not too pleased. Presumably Andy also wanted to thank the community for their support of Jen and, frankly, she wished the subject could be dropped.
Andy walked over, shook hands with Mr Harper and prepared to speak.
Sal was beaming at the table, and Tess couldn’t help but smile. She hadn’t been privy to what was about to happen, but she could guess.
‘Em, folks. I won’t keep you long, I’m not much of a public speaker.’ His voice was brittle with nerves. ‘I just wanted to take this opportunity to mirror what has been said, and thank you all for your support over the last few months. It has been difficult and we would have never got through it without the community behind us. We are looking forward to the new year, and a new beginning.’
The round of applause erupting gave him a moment to pause and gather his thoughts.
‘But, before I go, I would like to ask Jen something.’
Jen glared at him. She couldn’t believe he was doing this to her. She was going to give him a piece of her mind for drawing attention to her like this.
She looked at Sal and saw she was in tears, and slowly but surely the penny started to drop. Danny was with her parents, Will and his partner, and they were all up out of their seats in excitement. Andy’s parents were there too.
‘She’s going to be mortified that I’ve put her on the spot like this, but it couldn’t wait. Jen, can you come here, please?’
She reluctantly walked over to where he was and turned her back to the crowd. Danny walked over to Andy and handed him something.
‘What in blue blazes are you two up to?’ she asked.
‘Jen Harper. I love you, and I want to be with you, today and always.’
He dropped to one knee, and everyone was on their feet, scarcely breathing with anticipation.
‘Jen, will you marry me?’
She didn’t have to be asked twice. She nodded her head, and burst into tears. The whole place erupted into cheers and applause. He put the ring on her finger, and she recognised it straight away – her grandmother’s. Her parents had been in on the whole thing. The band started to play through the flurry of handshakes and hugs. The phone cameras were out in force, taking pictures of the happy couple, arm in arm. Everyone who needed to know was there, and before long the Facebook notifications began to fly in from the tagged shots.
‘Dad! You knew about this?’
‘Of course I did, Jen. Andy came to me a couple of weeks ago, and asked my permission. I suggested he do it tonight. He didn’t want to hijack our night, but I insisted. I’m happy for you, love – he’s a good man.’
‘Thanks, Dad.’
She hugged her parents. Danny arrived for a hug as well.
‘Mam, I knew all about it too! I was the very first person in the world Andy told. He wanted to know if it was OK with me.’
‘And is it, Dan?’
‘Yeah, Mam, he’s cool, and he told me I’d get to help him organise everything.’
Andy was absolutely beaming with pride and love. He ruffled Danny’s hair and planted a kiss on Jen’s cheek. From behind them, they heard the distinct pop of a champagne bottle. It was Sal and Tess, with a bucket, tray and glasses.
‘You two knew as well, I suppose?’ she enquired.
‘I did,’ said Sal.
‘I didn’t – but I guessed,’ said Tess. ‘Congrats to you both, I’m really happy for you.’
She looked happy for her friends, but Jen could hear the weight of sadness in her voice. Understandable, she supposed.
The night passed so quickly. There was lots of dancing and fun and Jen for the first time in a long time felt at peace and happy. She knew it was quick, they had only been together for a short time, but they were very close. Everything that had happened in the last few months had only brought them closer. She felt a heaviness in her heart as she thought about Sharon, and how she must have felt the night he asked her. They had set her free, and cleared her name of the suggestion of suicide. And despite the horrific nature of what had been uncovered, it had been a huge relief for her parents that their daughter hadn’t killed herself in despair. Andy had visited them when the news broke first, and they had spoken for a long time. The anger and the hurt began to lift, and finally he felt as though he had their permission to move on.
The light was beginning to return for sure. The longest night was here, but in the darkness something beautiful had begun to shine. Love and hope. Jen could start thinking about the future, as a family.
CODA
Andy carried Danny up the stairs and laid him in his bed. He had fallen asleep in the car on the way home, gone from chatting the ears off them to snoring in minutes.
Jen made tea, and the two of them panned out on the bed drinking it, fully dressed. Both were fairly sober, but lightheaded from the excitement.
‘Are you happy, Jen?’
‘Yes, very. Are you, Andy? Are you sure this is what you want?’
‘I have never been so sure of anything in my life, my darling. The last few weeks, as I came to terms with it all, I realised life is too short to wait around, and be afraid of letting things happen.’
‘What about your trip? Are you still going to go on that? I don’t mind, you know. You don’t have to cancel.’
‘Well, I am going on a trip. But with you and Danny.’
‘What?’
‘That’s the other part of the present tonight. We are all going to Disneyworld in January, and we’re going to meet my sister and her family out there.’
‘Oh Andy, Danny is going to be over the moon!’ She was really excited. Andy’s sisters had all come home after he told them about Sharon. It had been a short visit but she had got on with them all like a house on fire.
‘I love you, Mr McClean.’
‘I love you too, Miss Harper, soon to be Mrs McClean.’
She picked up her phone and had a look on Facebook. ‘Oh, look at this!’ Several of her friends had tagged her in pictures. She was chuffed with all the likes, and the lovely comments. It seemed like the whole world was delighted for her. She kept looking at the ring on her finger, and she felt like the luckiest woman in the world.
‘Oh, by the way,’ he said, ‘Sal left something under the bed for you. She knows what you’re like, and wanted to get you something straight away.’
‘Please tell me it’s not something dirty? That would just be wrong. You grab it there – I have a couple of voice mails.’
Andy produced a beautiful box, tied with a big red ribbon, from under the bed.
Jen dialled her voicemail, hit loudspeaker and opened the present.
It was a box full of bridal magazines. Jen laughed out loud when she found hi-lighters, and post-its. There were a dozen publications in the box. Sal had known this would give her a good laugh, and let her get planning straight away.
The first voicemail was from Andy’s sister. She was so delighted to welcome Jen to the family and she couldn’t wait to see her in the New Year.
The second was from all her workmates. None of them could make it, as it was one of the busiest nights of the year in work, but they had a staff party planned for her in between Christmas and New Year. They all sang and whooped down the phone, and Jen thought she would burst with excitement.
Then the final voicemail started.
‘Congrats, guys, you look amazing in the pictures. So happy for you – aren’t you the perfect couple?’
The air was sucked out of the room, both of them frozen in a sea of br
idal magazines.
Andy grabbed her hand.
‘Guess who?’ his voice said. ‘I’m in Europe. It pays to have contacts and friends in the right places, when you want to get out of the country in a hurry. But know this, Jen, I’m watching. I’ll always be watching. I told you on the beach I would gut you and your little boy. My time will come.’
Neither of them spoke. Words were futile. The looks that passed between them said enough. Scott had won.
The weeks of therapy and healing had been for nothing. The happy ending and the romance were lost. He had inflicted a mortal wound and won the war. They should have known – he was too clever for all of them. He had the last laugh and had got away with murder. First Sharon and now he would kill her too – one way or another.
Time slowed as her feet reluctantly shuffled towards the bedroom window. Despair hung heavy in the air like fog and even the comforting glow of the lighthouse beam couldn’t compete with the darkness surrounding her. Death had been invited, and it would eventually arrive.
She could hear music but couldn’t tell if it was in her head or rolling in on the sea. It was the tune to a childhood rhyme – she remembered it from her playground days. The words formed in her head.
Ring-a-ring o’ Roses,
A pocket full of posies,
A-tishoo! A-tishoo!
We all fall down!
Jen’s heart broke in two. She sank to her knees as the last flame of optimism died.
Andy went to her and held her as she cried.