My Soul Loves

by Barbara Gee

  We’d shared many kisses, and each one had been incredible. This one was best of all, though, because now I was kissing my fiancé. My fiancé!

  When it ended, I let my head fall back and flung out my arms, trusting him to hold me.

  “I’m engaged to Jude Keller,” I said exuberantly. “We’re engaged, Jude. That makes this officially the best day of my life.”

  He chuckled and pressed his mouth against my neck. “Do you want the ring or not?”

  “Oh! The ring.” I kissed him again. “I’d gladly marry you without a ring, but I won’t mind wearing one, so everyone knows I’m yours and you’re mine. For better or worse, forever and always.” I gave a contented sigh. “You have no idea how that pleases me.”

  “Pretty sure I do,” he said sweetly, setting me down and releasing me before holding out the box again. “Open it. See if I got it right.”

  I lifted the top, eager to see whether Jude had picked a ring I’d choose for myself. My eyes widened when I saw a glittering, gorgeous oval-cut diamond on a slender band. I pressed a hand to my chest. It was perfect. Simple, beautiful, perfect.

  “You got it right,” I whispered, and then the tears came. I wiped at them with my right hand while he slid the ring on my left.

  “Okay, fiancé,” he said softly, “that makes it official.” He kissed the back of my hand, admiring the look of his ring on my finger. Then he grinned at me. “I hope you aren’t tired, Ava, because the night is just beginning.”

  I stared at my ring, loving it and what it signified, then looked up at him with a happy smile. “Battleship and brownies?” I asked.

  He shook his head and took out his phone, smirking while he made a call.

  “Hey, Hannah. She said yes.”

  I heard the squeal from the other end and my jaw dropped. “They knew you were proposing?”

  He hung up without another word and put the phone back in his pocket. “Uh, yeah, them and a few others,” he said. He held up a hand with three fingers, folding them down one at a time as he said, “Three, two, one.”

  As soon as he said one, I heard the Owens’ patio door slide open and then a cacophony of voices and laughing.

  “Jude?” I said uncertainly, but he only smiled and put his arm around me, walking me to the far edge of the deck, veering out around the lighted trees that had been hiding the view of the Owens’ backyard.

  I’d barely registered the fact that there was a stream of people flowing out of their patio doors when the gate in our shared fence burst open and Hannah and Chase came through, followed by Jude’s parents and……my parents?

  My mouth fell open and I looked wide-eyed at Jude. “What did you do?”

  He chuckled. “You know last Saturday when I went out of town? It wasn’t for work. I had to go ask for your parents’ blessing. I spent the afternoon with them and your sisters. They’re an interesting group, for sure, but there’s no question they love you.”

  I turned as the first in line made it to the deck. Hannah grabbed me, laughing with glee, while Chase gave his best friend an enormous hug. Then my mom and dad were there. They had huge smiles on their faces—yes, huge, genuinely happy smiles.

  “Surprise, Ava!” Mom said, holding out her arms.

  I stepped into them, unable to remember the last time she’d given me a hug that was more than perfunctory. “I can’t believe you’re here, Mom,” I said.

  She squeezed me, actually squeezed me, then let go and gave me a push toward Dad, who also hugged me.

  “Well, I can’t believe you’re finally settling down, and with a man we approve of. He’s delightful, Ava.”

  I gave her a skeptical look. “Seriously, Mom? You’re saying you like the guy I chose all by myself?”

  She waved a hand. “What’s not to like? He’s educated, well-spoken, and has a fine reputation. Yes, we checked, and I’ll not apologize for that. He’s also the most handsome man I’ve ever laid eyes on, and I’ll tell you right now, Ella and Audrey are quite jealous.”

  I burst out laughing. “You’re kidding. Are they here?” The crowd was so big I had no idea who all was in it.

  “No, they couldn’t make arrangements for the kids on such short notice. Jude just called us a few days ago and said tonight was the night. So here we are.”

  “It means a lot, Mom,” I said as Jude walked up and put his arm around me.

  “Nice to see you again, Benson and Judith,” he said. “Thanks so much for coming.”

  “We wouldn’t miss it,” Dad said, shaking Jude’s hand.

  “We’ve had a wonderful time getting to know your family, Jude,” my mother added. “We’ve been chatting with them for the last hour while everyone was arriving.”

  Again, I felt my jaw drop. Who was this woman?

  Jude put his mouth close to my ear. “I charmed them,” he whispered, and then we were interrupted by more people.

  JP and Janna, and all the folks we’d just had dinner with. Turned out they’d known about the proposal plans all along, and Jude going to his house to get the tool for Chase had been a way of stalling our arrival to make sure everyone had a chance to get to Chase and Hannah’s, where they’d all been packed in, waiting for Jude’s call.

  Next came my gang of ladies, all but Priscilla. They were so excited, and I got hugs and kisses and almost passed out from the aroma of six different perfumes, all of them liberally applied.

  “Where’s Priscilla?” I asked when I was set free.

  “She’s over at Hannah’s arranging the dessert buffet out on the deck,” Donna informed me. “We’re going back over to help, but wanted to run over and see you real quick. Priss didn’t want to leave things unattended, what with that little dog running around.”

  The ladies scurried off and I looked at Jude. He shrugged. “I asked Hannah to let Priscilla head up the food,” he said a little sheepishly. “I thought she might enjoy doing that.”

  And in doing so, he’d given Priscilla the public affirmation she’d needed, after Donna and Rosie had stolen her thunder. I loved him for that.

  We eventually managed to greet every person, all fifty-eight of them—I knew exactly, because Priscilla had counted. It was the first time I’d met some of them, but I was glad for everyone’s presence. It showed that Jude had many loyal friends and co-workers, and I hoped to get to know all of them much better.

  The only person missing, other than my sisters, was Myla, whom I still hadn’t heard from. Her mom had, though, in the form of a three-minute phone call a week and a half ago. Myla had called to tell her the assignment had been extended an extra week. She’d also said she was fine and enjoying the work, but anxious to see us when she got done. I hoped that meant she was still planning to come visit.

  I missed my friend, but I didn’t let her absence spoil the party. I mingled and chatted and smiled until my cheeks hurt. It wasn’t until midnight that people began to disperse. I offered my parents my spare bedroom, but they’d already booked a room in the next town, because they’d been afraid the room would still be full of boxes.

  They promised to come spend a weekend soon, though. To my surprise, that announcement didn’t fill me with dread.

  Jude and I wanted to help clean up, but Hannah, Priscilla, and the rest of my gray-haired gang shooed us off. I was a little worried about my favorite old ladies being up so late already, with still more work to do, but they all seemed bright-eyed and up to the task.

  Jude grabbed my hand and we walked back through the gate, shutting it firmly behind us so Lulu couldn’t get through.

  The twinkle lights were still on, and the candles still flickering, although they would soon burn out. I was still barefoot and the grass was cool and wet from dew, but I ignored the chill because I wanted to stay outside a little longer.

  Jude went inside and brought out a soft throw blanket from the living room, then settled me on his lap on the new patio sofa and covered me with the warm blanket. I was content and unbelievably happy.

  He
pushed his face into my hair. “You tired? I hope tonight wasn’t too much,” he said softly.

  “No, I’m not tired, and it wasn’t too much. It was perfect. Perfect and so fun.” I snuggled closer. “Thanks for involving Priscilla and company. And I can’t believe my parents came—and actually had fun! They were like two whole different people. I really think they must have been convinced I was going to end up with a total loser. Now they’re over the moon.”

  “I told you I charmed them,” Jude said with a grin. “Not that it was easy. When I first showed up, without any notice mind you, I didn’t think your dad was going to let me in the house. I finally convinced him I was serious about asking for your hand, and then I got an hour-long grilling from both of them. I guess I passed, even though I’m not an attorney or an investment banker, which seemed to be highest on their list of desired occupations. Next thing I knew, they’d called your sisters to come over and insisted I stay for dinner. I went through another grilling from Audrey and Ella, but by the time I left we were all friends. I was on a first-name basis with your parents and had their blessing to propose.”

  If I hadn’t seen it for myself, I would’ve had a hard time believing it.

  “I bet Audrey and Ella were mad that I didn’t tell them how serious you and I are. I’ve told them we’re dating, and they know you saved me from Andrew, but I didn’t tell them everything. I knew they’d try to give me all kinds of advice, and really, how useful could that be when they haven’t even met you?”

  “I don’t know if they were mad, but they were definitely surprised. I’m sorry I didn’t give them enough advance notice to get here for tonight, but when I left your parents’ place, I honestly didn’t know when it was going to happen. I was still trying to figure out the right time and place. Then we won the bid at work, and the dinner was planned, and I came up with the idea of doing an engagement party the same night. After I talked to Hannah and got the ball rolling, I realized I had no idea how you felt about surprise parties. It could’ve been a disaster.”

  “It was a good plan and a great party,” I said, admiring my ring again. “I can’t believe I’m an engaged woman. Grandma would be so happy for me.” I closed my eyes and pictured her beaming face. “I wish you could’ve met her.”

  “So do I.” He kissed me softly. “Start thinking about setting a date, okay? I’ll go along with whatever kind of wedding you want, big or small, but I’m begging you,” he kissed me again, “please, please don’t make me wait too long.”

  I laughed at his dramatic plea. “The only thing we need to wait for is Myla. I can’t get married until my maid of honor can come.”

  A terrible realization hit me and I bolted upright in his lap, my eyes finding his. One look and I knew he’d had the same thought.

  “Oh no,” I whispered.

  He blew out a long breath. “JP.”

  “He’s going to be your best man,” I said, wondering how in the world I was ever going to break that to Myla.

  “And she’ll be your maid of honor.”

  “That’s always been the plan.” I gave him a sad smile. “Honestly, Jude, I don’t know if she’ll even attend, must less stand up with me, if she knows he’ll be there.”

  After a long silence, with both of us trying to come up with a solution, he said, “I don’t know how to fix this.”

  I slowly shook my head and leaned back against him. “We can’t fix it. It is what it is. JP’s your brother, and he’s going to be your best man. I wouldn’t have it any other way.” I sighed. “I’m just going to have to leave it up to Myla. I’ll ask her to be my maid of honor, and then it’s her decision.”

  “I know you hate putting her in that position.”

  “Yeah, but I’ll make sure she knows I’ll understand if she can’t do it. I want her here, but I don’t want to set her back by putting pressure on her.”

  “I hope she says yes.”

  “Me too.” I sat up and looked at him again. “You know, all these years, in my mind, I’ve loathed the man who broke Myla. I was convinced he was an insensitive jerk who didn’t deserve compassion or forgiveness. But JP’s not a jerk. I like him so much, and I know he’s a good man. It makes me wonder even more what happened between them.”

  “If I knew, I’d tell you, but as far as I know, JP hasn’t told anyone. I do know he blames himself, and I suspect some things, but to this day he hasn’t talked to me about it.”

  I thought about that for a bit, feeling unbearably sad for my friend. “Breaking up caused them both to leave town to escape the memories. I’d say that means what they had was very real and strong while it lasted.”

  “Yeah. They were inseparable while they were together. I’ve never seen JP fall so hard.”

  His words further confirmed what I’d suspected. “They have unfinished business,” I declared. “I’ve seen JP’s reaction when I mention Myla. He’s still hurting—maybe as much as she is.”

  Jude nodded. “I agree about the unfinished business, but if Myla’s determined to never see him again, there’s no way to resolve it.”

  I felt so torn. I wanted what was best for Myla, but I didn’t know what that was. “Do you think I should pressure her to come to the wedding? Make her feel guilty if she doesn’t, so she has to face him?”

  Jude frowned. “Do you really think she’ll skip her best friend’s wedding? She can’t put away her hurt and anger for one day? I mean, it’s been more than three years.”

  “Yeah, but you know what?” I looked in his eyes, feeling so much love it was almost overwhelming. “If something happened to you and me and we broke up for good, I’m pretty sure it would take me all of three years to get over it. Maybe more.”

  He cupped his hand on the back of my head and pulled me in for a kiss. “Ditto, Ava Ann,” he said against my lips. “But that’s not gonna happen.”

  And we stopped thinking about Myla and JP for a while.

  Chapter 35

  Icalled Myla’s mom first thing the next morning and told her the news about Jude’s and my engagement. I could tell she was really happy for me, but she was also very much aware of the dilemma with our best man and maid of honor.

  “Do you think she’ll even come?” I asked, dreading the answer.

  She was quiet for a while, and my heart fell. “All you can do is ask,” Tammy finally said. “I expect we’ll hear from her within the next few days. Her duty is scheduled to end tomorrow. Of course, that could change like it did before.”

  “I’ve never been out of contact with her for this long,” I said worriedly. “She has no idea I’ve even been dating anyone, and now I’m going to dump wedding news on her. And the whole JP thing—I just don’t know how she’s going to react.”

  “She’ll be happy for you, Ava,” Tammy assured me. “I don’t doubt that. I just can’t guarantee she’ll be able to face coming to the wedding.”

  I decided to be brutally honest. “You know, Tammy, I feel guilty for admitting this, but I really like JP. I expected him to be a terrible person, but he’s not.”

  “No, he’s not,” she agreed before I could go any further. “I was almost as enamored of him as Myla was. But he did something that almost destroyed my daughter. I don’t know what that was, but it happened. He’s not a terrible person, but I believe he did a terrible thing.”

  I rubbed my temple. “You’re probably right. But the thing is, when I mentioned Myla to him, I saw something in his eyes that made me think he has a lot of regret. I just caught a glimpse before he looked away, but he looked devastated. I can’t help but wonder—do you think there’s any chance at all we can get the two of them to talk? Neither of them have gotten past what happened. Maybe they need to hash it out once and for all before they can move on.”

  Tammy sighed. “I know you love her, Ava, but I wouldn’t try too hard to arrange that. I can’t see Myla making herself vulnerable to JP ever again. Tell her about the wedding, and we’ll go from there. If she agrees to come, we’ll just have to
pray that she leaves town no worse than she came.”

  ***

  It was two days later that my phone rang, with Myla’s number finally showing on the screen. I was in my office, finishing up for the day, and I grabbed the phone eagerly.

  “Myla? Is it really you?”

  I heard her laugh on the other end. How I’d missed that laugh.

  “It’s me, girlfriend. I’m back in the land of cell phones and wi-fi, and I have permission to use them. Oh my word, I feel like I’ve been completely cut off from civilization. I can’t tell you where I was or what I was doing, but trust me, you’d never believe it.”

  “Where are you now?”

  Again the laugh. “Would you believe I’m on my way to Denver?”

  “Wait, what?” I screeched. “Why are you going to Denver? That’s totally the wrong direction.”

  “Because I have a month of leave coming, and I’m going to spend the first part of it there. With my boyfriend.”

  I froze, unable to form a single word.

  “I know, I know, shocking, huh? It’s a guy who was on the assignment with me. He’s amazing. I feel like I’m finally alive again. I can’t wait to tell you all about it, but I have so many calls to make before my flight. I promise I’ll call you again later when we can talk for hours, but just tell me real quick, how’s life in Hidden Creek by now? Does it feel like home yet?”

  “Myla, so much has happened.” I took a deep breath. “I have some shocking news for you, too. I’m getting married. Soon. And I want you here.”

  Silence, followed by a squeal. “You’re getting married? Ava Milton, what in the world? I fall off the face of the earth for two months and you meet a guy and get engaged? Without even waiting to consult me first? How can you agree to marry a guy without me giving the okay?”

  She was teasing, but I knew she’d sober up quickly enough when I told her who my fiancé was. Before I could break the news, I heard the doorbell and then the front door open. Jude was here.

  “Hey, Myla, hang on a sec.”