Louise: A New Beginning

by Diana Nixon

  “When William was a kid, his father didn’t have much time to spend with his family. He loved them, but work and duties as the head of the company demanded his full attention, so Will and Mrs. Blair didn’t have a choice but to get used to living without him. A few hours per week could hardly be called a normal family life. I know that Angela didn’t like that, but she loved her husband and she did realize that everything he did, he did for her and their son. But after the tragedy, she couldn’t stand the idea of living in the States. She was devastated. She hated the house and everything that reminded her of the love of her life that was suddenly gone forever. So she decided to go somewhere the memories wouldn’t be so painful. She lived in Italy for a couple of years, then moved to Paris, and now she lives in Barcelona. She hates staying in the same place for too long.”

  I never thought about that, but another doubt crept into my mind. “Do you think she will ever approve of her son being with someone like me?” I asked, suddenly afraid to hear the answer to my question. I knew so little about the woman who raised Will. But like any other mother, I was sure she had a picture in her mind of the ideal wife for her son.

  “With someone like you?” Christopher repeated my words, parking at the house. “You are a wonderful person, Louise. And you make Will happy, which is the only thing that matters to Angela. She always said that parents fail as parents if their children are not happy.”

  “But it doesn’t always fall on parents to make sure their children are content, especially once they have grown up and moved away from home.”

  “True. But what you have as a child, builds the person you become when you grow up. Fortunately, your personality wasn’t affected by the life you had in Paradise. I’m sure Angela will see it too.”

  “I hope so. I wouldn’t want her and Will to argue because of me.” Something was telling me that Will would never break the bond we shared willingly. Only I didn’t know if that was good or bad news. Our life was so complicated, and sometimes I felt like I was the very person complicating it. . .

  Christopher shut the engine down, stepped out of the car, and came around to open the door for me, saying, “The only thing that Will and his mother have ever argued about is his dedication to his father’s business. Angela doesn’t want her only son to spend the rest of his life running after something that can’t make a person happy. She thinks money and power ruin everything. That’s why I’m sure she will like you. Especially after she sees the way her son looks at you.”

  I sighed, recalling all those times I caught William looking at me. There had always been so much love in his gaze, so much adoration, even a slight addiction. Sometimes it scared me. I still didn’t know how our story was going to end. The more time passed since the first day of my ‘independent’ life, the less I was sure if I was ready to be with William. He, no doubt, was the man all women dream of, including me. Only I didn’t know how to live that dream without losing myself along the way. I couldn’t let that happen, not after years spent in the orphanage, where personality didn’t mean a thing. We were all equal there, no one had a right to be different, to be better than the others.

  There was one more thing I often thought about. I never asked Will about his ex-girlfriends. I didn’t know what kind of women he liked. On one hand, I was more than thrilled to know that he preferred me to whoever he used to date before me. But, on the other hand, I was not sure if I was the right girl for him. And ‘girl’ was the key word here. Even though we never actually talked about our age difference, in the moments like now, I felt like it was a huge barrier on the way to our happily-ever-after.

  “Is Will home?” I asked Christopher. There was no light in the windows.

  “I guess he is. There’s his car.” He pointed to the open garage doors.

  I needed to see Will. Maybe he was still angry at me for what happened this morning, but I wanted to talk to him; I wanted to ask him about his day and get a chance to spend a few minutes in his tempting company. It was really hard to resist him, especially now that I knew there was so little distance between us.

  I entered the house and heard the sounds of music coming from behind the door to Will’s office. I came closer and listened to the song. It was the very song that was playing when I was dancing for him the last night we were together. It brought so many exciting memories to my mind. Every single touch and kiss I got from Will that night was burned in my memory, torturing me, making my heart bleed whenever he was not with me.

  Needless to say, I still craved him, maybe even more than I did when we first met several months ago. And the thought that he had been following the events going on in my life for years, and making sure nothing bad happened to me only made my feelings for him grow stronger. Maybe it was simply because I had never had anyone to care about me, for real, with no secret intentions or plans for my future. He did it all out of the kindness of his heart that somehow it turned into an unconditional love. I never knew a man’s love for a woman could be so boundless and pure.

  When the song was over, I knocked on the half-open door and let myself in the office.

  “Hey, mind if I join you?” I asked, seeing Will sitting on the couch, with a glass of whiskey in his hand. He was still wearing the same shirt I saw him wearing this morning. His jacket was hanging on the back of the couch, together with his tie.

  Will looked tired, like dead tired. Or maybe he was simply sad, and I bet I knew the reason, or rather, the who.

  “Come here,” he said, outstretching one hand to me. “Sit with me. Want something to drink?”

  “No, thanks. I just wanted to see you.”

  I came to sit next to him, he put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close to his chest, kissing my hair.

  “How was your day?” He asked quietly. Another song started, filling the space around us. It was slow and beautiful, reminding me of a fairytale with a prince and princess walking through a meadow on a sunny day, holding hands, and singing.

  “Good, great actually.” I let myself lean a little closer, wrapping one arm around his waist, my head resting on his chest. I could hear every single beat of his heart beneath my touch.

  “What was the greatest part of it?” He asked, running his palm up and down my back.

  It was such a peaceful moment. So much different from stormy mood swings and crazy kisses we had before we left for the day.

  “I have finally met Sabine Cormac. And that was…one of the best moments of my entire life.”

  Will’s chest rose and fell under my cheek.

  “Did you like her?” He asked. Maybe I was imagining things, but I could swear I heard worry in his words.

  “A lot,” I said, enjoying the scent of his cologne, washing over me. “She’s amazing. And so kind. She doesn’t have children, can you believe that?”

  Will’s body stiffened at my words. I looked up at him, but his face was unreadable.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked, puzzled.

  He forced a smile. I could always tell when it was forced. “Nothing. I just haven’t had the best day.” He then kissed me again, on the forehead this time, and pulled me back into his embrace.

  “Is it bad because of me?” I dared to ask. I knew it was not easy for him to see me right now. I could tell he was very close to losing his patience with me. I could actually feel it, especially after the kiss he gave me this morning.

  “No. You make my days better.”

  I doubted he was being honest with me.

  “I can leave if you want,” I said.

  “No, Louise. You will stay here. Even if I need to be alone, I would rather go stay in a hotel than let someone stalk, or worse – hurt you. Besides, as I have already said, you don’t have anything to do with my bad mood.”

  “Problems at work?”

  “Not exactly. . .” He sighed again. “Eighteen years ago, today, I entered my father’s office for the first time. That day changed my life. It changed everything for me, it changed me.”

  “You
miss him, don’t you?”

  “All the time. . .”

  I wish I could say the same about even one of my parents. But I never knew what having parents meant. I didn’t know anything about the love other children received from their parents. I had no idea what it felt like to miss a family member.

  “You know, something weird happened today…during my conversation with Sabine.” I moved so I could see Will’s face, and proceeded, “There was a moment when I was looking at her and I caught myself thinking about my mother; about the things we could do together. Like baking, or decorating the Christmas tree, or simply talking and sharing a cup of tea. So strange, right? I don’t know why, but I suddenly started thinking about her. Maybe because I imagined someone like Sabine being my mom, beautiful, kind, and caring; someone who would love me for who I am, and not for someone I can be when dancing.”

  “Oh, my sweet Louise. . . You know I love you, don’t you?”

  I smiled up at him. “Of course, I do.”

  “I love you for who you are, for everything you mean to me. And that will never change.” He traced a line down my chin with his finger and my whole body trembled.

  “Kiss me,” I said suddenly, surprising both of us with my words. “Kiss me like you did the night I was dancing for you, here, in this house, in your bedroom.”

  He shut his eyes, shaking his head. “I can’t. . . I can’t because I won’t be able to stop with just a kiss, Louise. Not after I taste the sweetness of your lips again. That kiss this morning. . . You can’t even imagine how close I was to losing control with you. Staying away from you, dreaming about you, and not being able to even kiss you is torture. You don’t understand. . .”

  “I do,” I said, touching his cheek with my palm. “God knows, you are not the only person being tortured here.”

  “Then what the hell are we doing still dressed?”

  I giggled. “Talking?”

  “No, really, Miss Obvious? Seriously, Louise, what is your problem with making love to me?”

  “That’s the thing, Will, it’s not a problem at all. The real problem will start later, when I wake up in your room, in your bed, with you by my side. . .I wouldn’t be able to walk away.”

  “Walk away? Is that what you are going to do…again?”

  “No, but. . .it’s complicated.” I put my hand down and moved away from him. Too bad, there was no way to hide from his piercing stare. I could feel its force without even looking at Will. “You know there’s nothing better for me than to stay with you forever, than to allow you to make me happy, to just forget about my past, and move on into the new world where I won’t have to run away, or tell you to stay away from me.”

  “Then let it go, Louise. Let it all go, and be with me.” He moved closer and took my hands in his, saying, “I can’t imagine my life without you. Not after everything you and I shared.”

  I don’t know what made me do what I did next, but there was so much pleading in Will’s eyes; my heart sank in my chest. I reached for his face and pulled him closer, until our lips met. I wasn’t going to make him suffer again, and I knew that one kiss was not even close to enough, but I wanted to comfort him, to comfort myself, to make him feel my love.

  Slowly, my lips moved over his. It was so much different from the kiss he gave me before he left this morning. That kiss was full of anger, and passion, and longing that he wasn’t sure he would ever be able to ease. This time, Will didn’t rush things. He let me tell him whatever I wanted to tell him with that kiss; and I made sure my message was clear before I broke away.

  I love you, just be patient with me, please.

  So when I did break the kiss, he didn’t try to come back in for another or make any other moves I wasn’t ready for.

  He smiled, again with that sad smile that I had already seen on his face way too many times for the last ten minutes. “What was that for?” He asked, brushing my chin with his fingertips.

  “For being with me now.”

  “If I get a kiss for every moment that I spend with you, I refuse to spend even a second without you.”

  Instead of commenting, I leaned forward and placed another small kill on his lips.

  “Tell me more about your dad. I know so little about your family.”

  Will inhaled deeply and nodded. “Changing the subject. Okay.”

  I laughed. “You got me there. But truly, it’s for the best.”

  “Talking to you is still better than not seeing you at all. It’s been a hell of a couple of months, Louise. I don’t want things to keep going on this way forever. Do you hear me? I can’t keep going on like this, it is killing me.”

  “I’ll see what I can do about that,” I said, still smiling.

  “I mean it. Don’t you dare disappear from my life again. I will find you anyway, so don’t waste your time on running.”

  “Do you have any pictures of your dad? I never saw him.”

  “Okay, all right. Topic diverted for now, but this conversation isn’t over. We will continue when you are ready to talk about it. As for the pictures of my dad, yes, I do have some. Thousands of them actually. I love photography, remember?” He rose to his feet, walked over to one of the bookshelves, and took down a box with what I assumed to be his family’s pictures.

  “Trust me, it’s hard to forget about your passion for photography.” I still had those pictures that Will and I took while we were in Paris. I loved looking through them, especially the ones he took on our first night together.

  A small, sly smile touched his lips. No doubt, he was recalling that night too.

  “We should go there again someday,” he said, sitting down next to me.

  “You think so?”

  “If my memory serves, you liked taking pictures of me almost as much as I loved taking pictures of you.”

  “Can’t argue with that.”

  “Good to know there’s at least one thing that you don’t want to argue with me about.”

  I punched his shoulder slightly. “Not one thing, actually. . . But we will talk about the rest later.”

  “When?” He raised his eyebrows questioningly, watching me.

  “Stop it.”

  “Stop what?”

  “You know what. When you look at me like that, it’s really hard to think straight.”

  “It’s all your fault,” Will said, opening the box. “Looking at you is one of a very few options I have right now.”

  “Stop complaining. At least now, that I live here, you have plenty of opportunities to see me.”

  “If you think it should make me feel better, you are wrong.”

  “Ugh, you are so hard to please, Mr. Blair! Let’s look at those pictures you have in the box.”

  “Actually, it’s not so hard to please me, and you, of all people, should know that.” He sounded like a little boy, complaining about someone taking his favorite toy away from him. I smiled mentally to myself.

  “Stop thinking about dragging me to your bedroom and tell me more about your family.”

  “Easier said than done,” he muttered in response.

  I reached for the box in his hands and took one of the pictures, taken in this very house.

  “It was taken a few days before he died,” Will said. “I often look at this picture wondering if there was a way to avoid the tragedy. . .”

  “You wouldn’t be able to prevent it anyway. You were not there when the accident happened.”

  “No, I wasn’t. But every time I think about that day, I remember talking to my dad just a few hours before I lost him forever and it feels like I was right there when he died. Only I didn’t see how the whole thing happened.”

  “Oh, Will. . .” I put my hand on his back and rubbed it lightly. “It wasn’t your fault. There are things that we can’t change. Believe me, I know exactly how it feels. I can’t change anything about my past, but I still have my future. And so do you.”

  “I know, Louise. And that is exactly why I don’t want to waste it on stu
pid things. I want you to be my future.”

  I didn’t know what to say to that, so I looked down at the picture I was still holding in my hands and said, “Do you know all these people standing around him?”

  “Yes, they were the employees of the company. Some still work there. This man,” Will pointed at a tall man with dark hair, in his late fifties, “used to be my father’s business partner. He started his own business a couple of years ago and left the company. And this,” Will pointed to a woman on his father’s left side, “is Debora Griffin. She used to be dad’s deputy.”

  My heart froze in my chest. “Debora used to work with your dad?”

  “Yes, why? Do you know her?”

  “No. It’s just that. . .her name sounds familiar.” And so did her face. Only I couldn’t remember where I had seen her before.

  “She was supposed to be on the boat the day the accident happened. My dad and Debora were going over some negotiations about opening another branch of the company on the west coast. But the deal was canceled as soon as the other side found out about the accident.”

  “Seriously? They called off the deal?”

  “Yes. Our stock prices plummeted and they thought it would be better to wait until things settled to make a new offer. Though it has never been made.”

  Now that was interesting. So because of Will’s father’s death someone saved a huge ton of money. Could that be the reason for his death?

  And, of course, the absence of Debora on the boat, looked more than just suspicious.

  “Do you know why Debora didn’t go with your father that day?”

  “She broke her leg a day before the trip, so she couldn’t go even if she wanted to.”

  “Oh. . .” Maybe my suspicions were wrong after all. Nevertheless, I needed to find Debora Griffin. Rea couldn’t have just given me her name without a reason. She knew something about Mr. Blair’s death, and I needed to know what it was.

  Chapter 9

  “Is there any chance I could get a good-night kiss from you?” Will asked, going upstairs with me. We spent a good part of the night talking, he told me about his past, I told him more about mine. Even though there wasn’t much to tell. He knew almost everything about me. Maybe even more than I did myself.