The Resolution for Women

by Priscilla Shirer

  I only allow my mind to entertain what is honorable, right, pure, lovely, noble, excellent, and worthy of praise (Philippians 4:8).

  I long for the pure milk of the Word that I may grow to spiritual maturity (1 Peter 2:2).

  I seek peace and pursue it (Psalm 34:14).

  I am a necessary and useful part of the body of Christ, and I will use my spiritual gifts to edify others (1 Corinthians 12:7).

  Faith, hope, and love—especially love—abide in me (1 Corinthians 13:13).

  I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus (2 Corinthians 5:21).

  I have been given victory in Christ Jesus (1 Corinthians 15:57).

  I am meek, and I will inherit the earth (Matthew 5:5).

  I extend mercy to others, and I will in turn receive mercy (Matthew 5:7).

  I have a pure heart before God, and I expect to see His manifest presence in my life (Matthew 5:8).

  I discipline myself for the purpose of godliness since it holds promise for the present life as well as the life to come (1 Timothy 4:8).

  My ambition is to be pleasing to Him and Him alone (2 Corinthians 5:9).

  I do not judge fellow believers so that I will not bring judgment on myself (Romans 2:1).

  My priority is to seek first the kingdom and God’s righteousness, and I expect all needed, secondary things to be added unto me (Matthew 6:33).

  I am a true worshipper. I worship in spirit and in truth (John 4:23).

  I do not live by bread alone but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God (Deuteronomy 8:3).

  Rivers of living water flow out of my inner being (John 7:38).

  I have been chosen by God to bring forth fruit that shall remain (John 15:16).

  I am a brand-new person. My old sin nature has passed away, and everything has become new (2 Corinthians 5:17).

  No matter my past, I am forgiven of my sins because of the lavishness of His grace upon me (Ephesians 1:7).

  I have been given every spiritual blessing in heavenly places (Ephesians 1:3).

  Because He was wounded, I am healed (Isaiah 53:5).

  In Christ, I am whole and complete, lacking nothing (James 1:4).

  Whatever I ask for in prayer according to the Father’s will, I believe that I have received it (Mark 11:24).

  I am part of a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, and a holy nation. I am one of God’s own people (1 Peter 2:9).

  I will not be afraid because I know the spirit of fear is not from Him. He has given me a spirit of power, love, and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7).

  I am not a stranger to God. I am a citizen of God’s kingdom and a member of His household (Ephesians 2:19).

  I have been sealed by the Holy Spirit who indwells me. He is a pledge from the Father of my coming inheritance (Ephesians 1:13–14).

  I am a masterpiece created in Christ Jesus in order to walk in the good works He has prepared for me to do (Ephesians 2:10).

  For freedom I have been made free. I walk daily in this gift of freedom (Galatians 5:1).

  I am dead to the power of sin (Romans 6:11).

  I have been raised with Christ, and I sit with Him in heavenly places (Ephesians 2:6).

  I am the salt of the earth and the light of the world (Matthew 5:13–14).

  I will not fear because the Lord is my light, my salvation, and the strength of my life (Psalm 27:1).

  The joy of the Lord is my strength (Nehemiah 8:10).

  I trust completely in the Lord; therefore I will be like a fruit-bearing tree that continually finds nourishment despite dry, parched weather (Jeremiah 17:7–8).

  No good thing will the Lord withhold from me as I walk uprightly before Him (Psalm 84:11).

  Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior, and I will do the works that He did (John 14:12).

  In Christ I have become a child of God, and I receive the blessings God has for me (John 1:2; Romans 16:17).

  In Christ, God has chosen me as His own and made me strong. He has placed His mark on me. He has placed His Spirit in my heart as a guarantee for all He has promised (2 Corinthians 1:21–22).

  I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13).

  • Today God invites you to live a life marked by faithfulness. By His Spirit and with the guidance and encouragement of His Word, this is an attainable goal for you. No matter what your past has held, this resolution can mark a new beginning. Read the resolution prayerfully and sign your name to it when you are ready.

  FAITHFULLY HIS

  I will live as a woman answerable to God and faithfully committed to His Word.

  __________

  PART II

  THIS IS WHAT I HAVE.

  MY BEST

  A resolution to devote myself completely to God’s priorities for my life

  Boxes

  I rapt softly on the door of her hotel room—a woman I’d long admired from a distance, one I was thrilled for the chance to spend time with after I’d discovered we were both scheduled to speak at the same conference. She’d been actively involved in ministry for more than thirty years, and I—a young wife and new mom in the fledgling stages of ministry—was feeling a bit strained in this season of life. The feeding schedules and diaper changes, the wakeful nights and early mornings, topped off by the responsibilities of a growing ministry. I was tired. Overwhelmed. Out of sorts and out of balance.

  I needed a dose of her wisdom and perspective.

  Stealing little moments like this was something I’d gotten in the habit of doing—seeking out people who live life the way it’s supposed to be lived, capturing the opportunity to snag one or two scraps of wisdom from their conversation. As I sat cross-legged on the floor of her hotel room, expecting nothing in particular but everything at the same time, I knew if I’d just listen, I’d glean a few nuggets of ageless truth to take away with me.

  Speaking in her delicate British accent, she whisked me on a journey through her early years, revealing some of the lessons she’d learned along the way, as well as the ones she wished she’d learned a lot sooner. Each time I asked her another question, I’d lean in, chin in my hands, elbows on my knees, listening for her thoughtful answers. Not a single one failed to make an impression.

  Especially the boxes.

  No, she didn’t pull them out from under her bed or fish them from a hiding place in the closet. She simply painted them in my imagination and then set them out before me, one beside another. Clear, glass boxes, each with a lid on top that opened and closed from a hinge fastened to the side. All were exactly the same size, and each was filled to the same level with a clear, bluish, water-like substance.

  “These boxes, Priscilla, are symbolic of the activities of one’s life, the various undertakings into which we must invest our time, talent, and energy. Our tendency is to try keeping them just this way—equally filled with identical amounts of ourselves and our effort. This, we think, is what balance looks like.

  “But in reality, this is the picture of a woman overworked, frustrated, and exhausted. A life out of balance.

  “The way we achieve balance, my dear, is to consider prayerfully God’s priorities for us in this current season of life and then rearrange the boxes accordingly—pushing some of them into the background, bringing others to the front. Into these primary boxes we place the best of ourselves and our effort, while perhaps totally emptying some of the others—at least temporarily—not because they’re of any less overall significance but because they’re not where we need to be allocating the best of our abilities and attention for the time being.

  “Balance is not when the boxes are equally filled but when we are free to fill only those that are important for now, without feeling guilt over the ones that we’ve left for another time and place. This is balance, little sister. Remember it.”

  I have.

  And the lessons learned from the boxes have saved my life.

  • If you have a tendency to spread yourself too thinly, in what kind of state does this typi
cally tend to leave you at the end of the day or the start of a new week?

  • Label each box with one of the different responsibilities of your life. (Add more if you need to.) Color in each one according to the level of time and effort you invest. Compare them and prayerfully consider if your priorities reflect God’s intentions for you in this season of your life.

  Timing Is Everything

  I think we all know what it means to give our best (because you’ve probably already been doing it)—working as hard as you can, pressing ahead even when you feel like giving up and getting lazy, making the necessary sacrifices that keep you on point and on task. You’re likely getting exhausted just thinking about a resolution that has anything to do with giving more than you already are. And sure, we’re going to talk about that a bit—giving your best instead of halfhearted leftovers—but I think you’ll be surprised to find that by the end of this section, you won’t feel like you’re responsible for doing more. Rather, you get to do less.

  So don’t get so hung up on the “giving the best of myself” part that you don’t get to the other part—the part that changes the playing field of this resolution: getting clarity on your “primary roles.” We can’t benefit from our understanding of one without having equal clarity about the other. If you do your best, for example, but you expend much of it on the wrong things, you’ve not only wasted a lot of your energy and resources; you’ve also lost time and opportunities you may never recover. Achieving clarity on both halves of this resolution equation is essential.

  Being your best at what God wants you to be doing—that’s the thing to shoot for.

  This balancing act took center stage during the latter part of the Old Testament, after a remnant of the Hebrews had returned to their native homeland from exile. The Lord spoke to them through the prophet Haggai, questioning the priorities they were demonstrating. The order in which they were choosing to rebuild both their nation and their lives was off-kilter. While the temple lay in ruins and disrepair, the people were spending considerable time and resources on the rebuilding of their own lavish dwellings.

  “These people say, The time has not come for the house of the LORD to be rebuilt.” The word of the LORD came through Haggai the prophet: “Is it a time for you yourselves to live in your paneled houses, while this house lies in ruins?” (Haggai 1:2–4)

  Imagine for a minute what it must have been like for these people, straggling back into a geographical area that had been ravaged decades earlier by marauding forces. The many tasks of cleanup and debris removal, the restoration of even a primitive form of infrastructure, the cultivation of arable farmland—they faced it all. All at once. The land was in need of everything.

  On top of these physical requirements, they were likely feeling an incredible release of pent-up emotions, having been held for years against their will as a subjugated people group in a foreign land. This chance to start fresh—despite the many challenges of reclaiming a land gone to seed—must have come with an intoxicating sense of excitement as they sought to reestablish their own little corner of the world.

  So I think we can all admit—their desire to give time and attention to the rebuilding of their own homes was understandable. It was even honorable. It made as much sense to them as your own reasoning does to you when you’re wanting to spend your time a certain way, when you’re wanting to focus on a certain task. Like theirs, this undertaking of yours isn’t necessarily bad or inappropriate, in and of itself. It’s probably even highly honorable. Why then did God express such concern?

  Turns out, He wasn’t concerned with what they were doing as much as when they were choosing to get it done. See if you can detect the pattern:

  “This people say, ‘The time has not come . . .’”

  “. . . even the time for the house of the LORD to be rebuilt.”

  “Is it time for you yourselves to dwell in paneled houses while this house lies desolate?” (vv. 3–4 NASB)

  Rebuilding the destroyed temple (and thereby restoring the worship of God to a place of prominence in their lives) was obviously of greater priority to Him at that particular moment than construction of their elaborate dwellings. He wasn’t saying their homes didn’t matter. He didn’t mean they should be ashamed of themselves for taking any thought about their own shelter and living arrangements. But the time for concentrating their efforts on their own houses was for later, not for now. Now was the season to focus on the house of God, to pare down their list and concentrate primarily on what God was telling them to do today. So, yes, it meant that something which brought them pleasure would need to be put on the shelf for now but certainly not forever. They were to focus on today’s task, pushing others to the side temporarily, while being assured that the time would come for them to prioritize another thing later on.

  Sometimes this realization can be a hard one. One friend realized that she was spending an inappropriate amount of time helping her extended family (an admirable task), which was taking away from the attention she should have been paying to her own immediate family. She loves them dearly, of course, but after solving their problems, bearing their burdens, listening to their issues, and taking care of their concerns, she couldn’t help noticing that she was emotionally and physically depleted. God’s Spirit began to challenge her to consider that now was not the time (and she was not the savior) to handle the concerns of her extended family. In order to engage fully in God’s goals for her in this season, she had to perform a difficult but essential restructuring of her priorities. Challenging but necessary.

  As you’re able to determine what your current priorities should be, and as you’re obedient in setting other things aside for the time being, don’t fret that you’ll never again have the opportunity to spend time pursuing them. The next years, perhaps even the next few months, will bring with them a recalibration of what’s most pressing and important. Then some of these activities that you’ve needed to shutter for a time may be ready again to emerge into active duty.

  Until then fight the urge to spread yourself too thin.

  Home in on what matters today.

  As a woman with small children, my alignment of priorities will look different from that of a retired grandmother. And it should. A college student’s primary concerns for this season of her life will look different from those of a new graduate seeking to begin her career. And it should. Whatever moment you’re living in will cue you toward the responsibilities that are inherent for you in this time and space.

  So do those.

  Focus on those.

  Give yourself permission to say no to certain things that are not really yours to carry right now. And force yourself to delay certain things that aren’t your primary mission for this moment. In doing so, you’ll find that every yes comes with a lot more freedom and fulfillment.

  • Ask a wise, honest friend who knows you well how she thinks you’re managing your current priorities.

  • As you think about those things you want to do but can never seem to make time for, remember the biblical appeal that says, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens” (Ecclesiastes 3:1 NIV). How could this deliberate act of trust and perspective free you to invest yourself more joyfully in today?

  Anything, Everything, and Whatever

  Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do everything for God’s glory. (1 Corinthians 10:31)

  “Whatever you do . . .”

  One of the richest blessings that comes from making the tough decisions we’ve been talking about in this section—decisions to shift some things into the background for this season of life so you can focus on what currently matters more—is that it unlocks your ability to finally do things well, to do them in a way that magnifies and honors God. Perhaps like many women, you constantly feel like you’re failing. You end most days with the sense that you’re inadequate, that you don’t have what it takes, that you just don’t have it together like everybody else seems to.


  This is the burden the perfectionist carries. She’s often paralyzed because her standards are at such an impossible height. She has so much to do and such a high bar set for herself, she’s discouraged before she even begins trying to reach them all. She can’t do anything well because she’s exhausted from doing everything. She looks at all the half done and undone tasks around her and melts into despair. Perfection is a surefire way to live in shame and guilt your entire life, never satisfied with yourself or your surroundings.

  So just to be clear, this resolve to offer the best of yourself is not a call to perfectionism. In passages like Matthew 5:48, where Jesus instructs us to “be perfect . . . as your heavenly Father is perfect,” He’s not saying that He expects you to live without a single flaw or bobble. You are being invited into a life of wholeness and completeness. That’s what the biblical word perfect means. It’s not a standard of faultless accuracy and precision but rather an invitation to devote the whole of yourself—your time and your talents—toward the completion of the tasks He’s appointed.