Saved by the Celebutante

by Kirsty McManus

“Sorry. Hang on a minute.” She goes in search of the volume control and turns it up even louder.

  “Better?” she yells.

  “Perfect,” I mutter and turn around. Then I look back over my shoulder and raise my voice so I can be heard over the music. “Oh, Brad? I hope you changed the sheets after Saturday!”

  I grab my purse and storm out without waiting for a reaction. I think it would be best if I stayed at Penny’s tonight.

  Thankfully my sister is up and allows me to sleep on the couch. The bed in the spare room isn’t made up and I insist I’m not worth the effort tonight.

  I can’t sleep. I wasn’t in the mood to deal with Becky’s shit. And I’m kind of angry at Brad too, even though I don’t really have the right to be. He did warn me. I guess I had foolishly hoped he would understand how upset I would be if I saw him with Becky again. The idea of them having sex makes me feel sick. How could I have been so stupid? I’m still recovering from a huge betrayal. I’m not strong enough to separate my emotions into little boxes to be unlocked when convenient. I wasn’t deluded enough to think Brad and I had any sort of long-term future together, but I did really like him and thought maybe we could have had a bit more fun together before we went our separate ways. He’s cute, funny, insightful and caring, but he also wants to be with other women, so I can’t let myself get any more attached. Especially if Becky is going to stick around.

  I toss and turn most of the night, feeling like I deserve the discomfort of the couch as punishment for thinking I could get away with having a fling with someone like Brad. I remind myself to never get sucked in again.

  Michelle accidentally wakes me up at six as she’s getting ready to go to the gym.

  “Why did you have to disturb me?” I moan. “I’m trying to avoid reality…for like the next fifteen years.”

  “You know you have total control over everything, right?” she says, making me want to yank the protein bar she’s eating out of her hand and stomp on it.

  “Yes. I have total control over the fact my husband is gay and ran off with another man. I have control over the fact one of my roommates hates me, the other just crushed me, and there’s an evil girl who would probably be quite happy if I was dead.”

  “That’s other people. Your life is up to you. How you respond to how they treat you is completely in your control.”

  “Thanks, Dr. Phil.”

  “I’m just saying…”

  I stay quiet. Admittedly, I did have control over my phone but then stupidly smashed it. I also chose to sleep with someone I knew was bad for me. And I really can’t be mad at Corey for being gay, but I feel like I’m allowed to be upset that he didn’t tell me about Jasper. All right, I’ll meet her halfway.

  I call Gia and tell her I’m too sick to go in to work today. I actually am feeling physically ill, but I know it’s only because of everything that’s happened over the past few days.

  Penny doesn’t have time to talk when she wakes up because she wants to join Michelle at the gym, so I stay on the couch alone watching bad daytime TV.

  Three hours later, I drag myself to the phone store and sign up on a new contract. As I suspected, my contacts do not miraculously reappear when I switch on the handset.

  I walk around the mall feeling quite angry with everyone, including myself. And then I realize I never heard from Corey. He could have left a message at home, but I don’t really want to go back and check. I call his cell.

  “Oh, hi,” he says as if we hadn’t just spoken last night.

  “Hey, did you leave a message at the house? I’ve been out all afternoon.”

  “No. I wasn’t going to bother. It was a terrible offer, so I turned it down.”

  “Oh? That’s weird. When I spoke to Barbara, she thought they were going to offer more than we expected.”

  “Well, maybe she didn’t think we actually wanted to make a profit.”

  “I think she did.”

  “Either way, it wasn’t any good.”

  I start crying again, not even caring that I’m in the middle of the street and people are staring. This is just the icing on the cake. You know how when you’re in a good mood and almost nothing can get you down? But then if things aren’t going so well, you only need one small thing to tip you over the edge? Well this isn’t even a small thing. And the other things before that were huge fucking mountains of horror.

  “Hey, Chrissie, are you okay?”

  “Do I sound it?” I sob.

  “It will be all right,” he says, sounding uncomfortable.

  “It won’t! Nothing will ever be all right again!”

  “Don’t be like that. Look, I’m really sorry to do this to you, but I have to go. How about we talk properly later?”

  “Wait! Are you out with Jasper?”

  “Chrissie, please. Don’t do this. I’ll call you again soon.” He hangs up.

  I contemplate throwing my new phone against a nearby wall, but think better of it.

  I stare into space. I…just…can’t…

  I think this is what they call a nervous breakdown.

  ***

  Somehow I make it back to Penny’s, but I only get as far as the floor inside the front door. I curl up in the fetal position and close my eyes, a wave of complete and utter hopelessness washing over me. I don’t know how to make things better. I don’t want to live at Brad’s anymore, but I don’t want to live at Penny’s either. I can’t believe Luke and Molly didn’t put in a decent offer. Stupid, clueless realtors.

  At some point, I am vaguely aware of Penny and Michelle returning. They try to find out what’s wrong with me, but I can’t bring myself to speak.

  Soon after, Gia texts me.

  Can you come over?

  I contemplate not replying, but I feel like I’ve already messed her around enough.

  I’m sick, I type back.

  Can I come over then?

  I might puke on you.

  That’s OK. I have three kids. I always get puked on.

  I won’t be good company.

  I’ll see you in 10.

  I don’t think you should bother, but if you insist, I’m at my sister’s.

  I forward her the address and then stay in the same spot until she knocks on the door.

  I reach up to unlock it, but don’t move out of the way.

  She gently pushes her way in and sits down beside me.

  “So, are we physically sick? Or the other kind?”

  “Both. But mostly the other kind.”

  “Do you want to talk about it?”

  “Not really.”

  “Are you having trouble with Corey? Or one of your roommates?”

  “Pretty much everyone.” Then it occurs to me I never told her about Will. “Do you know who my other roommate is?”

  “No. Who?”

  “It’s Will. I mean, Billy.”

  Her eyes widen. “My Billy? Oh my God! I assume he knows you work for me, then?”

  “Only as of yesterday.”

  “Oh no!”

  “Yep.”

  “So, what are you going to do?”

  “I don’t know. Move out?”

  “I’d offer for you to stay at my place, but it’s a little small. And the kids would drive you crazy.”

  “It’s okay. I appreciate the sentiment.”

  I need to tell her what really happened to my phone.

  “Gia…”

  She cuts me off. “Listen, I wanted to tell you this in person. I was doing some sleuthing this morning and I came across an interview with Peter Carson.”

  I frown. “And?”

  “It said how he was looking forward to some downtime at this retreat he visits every year near Carmel.”

  “So?”

  “There’s only one retreat in the area he mentioned, so I phoned up and found out they have specific intakes throughout the year, and the latest one started the other day!”

  “How do you know Peter would be at that one?”

 
“Because the last one was before the interview was published and the next one isn’t for ages. I just have a feeling he’d do this one if he wanted to relax before the movie started casting.”

  “Did you call them to see if he was there?”

  “Yeah, but they won’t disclose the names of any of their guests. I think we should drive down there and see if we can actually talk to him in person.”

  I perk up slightly. “Okay. So when do you want to go?”

  “Now!”

  I stare at her. “You mean now now?”

  “Yep. While you’ve been sulking, I packed a bag and organized my mom to babysit the kids. So get your stuff! We’re going on a road trip!”

  I feel a mixture of relief and guilt.

  “Listen, Gia, I will do anything you want me to do, but I think maybe I should stop being your publicist. I messed up your audition, and I wasn’t exactly…”

  “Stop beating yourself up about it. So do we need to stop by your other place before we leave?”

  I give her a small smile. I love how she never seems to care how completely useless I am.

  “Probably. I only have one change of clothes here.”

  “Fine. Get whatever you have here and then we’ll go there next.” She claps her hands together. “Woo-hoo! This is so exciting!”

  I hurry off to get my stuff, leaving Gia in the living room. I feel dazed. Am I really about to head off down the coast to gatecrash a meditation retreat?

  I certainly owe it to Gia, so it appears that I am. And then once it’s all over, I’ll tell her what happened with the phone and offer to resign.

  At least then it will be up to her.

  EIGHTEEN

  We pull up out the front of Brad’s, and my anxiety levels skyrocket. Will’s truck isn’t there, but the lights are on, so someone must be home. I was kind of hoping I could sneak in and out without anyone knowing.

  “Do you need me to come in for moral support?” Gia asks.

  “No, no. If you don’t mind waiting, I shouldn’t be too long.”

  “Sure. I have a few emails to respond to anyway.”

  I let myself in, almost feeling like an intruder. I see Brad watching the TV alone in the living room.

  “Hello?” I say quietly.

  He turns towards me and his face lights up. “Chrissie! Hey! I was worried you’d run away and I was never going to see you again. I’m so glad you’re back!”

  “Even after what I said last night?”

  “Oh, don’t worry about that. You probably did me a favor. Becky finally realized she had to be cool with me having other female friends if she wanted to stay.”

  “So what happened?”

  “She left.”

  “Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cause trouble. I was just so frustrated…”

  “Hey, it’s fine. Your reaction was totally justified. I know we talked about not being exclusive, but its another thing altogether to have it rubbed in your face.”

  “I should have known better than to get involved with someone I lived with. So let’s both of us just chalk it up to a silly mistake.”

  He grins cheekily. “I wouldn’t go that far. But yes, maybe in future I need to be more mindful of the situation. Anyway, I was going to call you tomorrow and see how you were. But you’re here!”

  “I’m afraid not for long, though. Gia and I are going away for a few days.”

  “Oh, cool. Where are you going?”

  “We found out Peter Carson is staying at a place in Carmel so we’re going to try and track him down. I…um…kind of lost his phone number.”

  Understanding flashes in his eyes. “Ah. When are you leaving?”

  “Now. It was sort of a spontaneous decision. I’m just going to go and get some of my stuff.”

  “No problem. Let me know if you need anything.”

  “Will do.”

  I stand in front of my open closet. I’m not really sure what to pack, so I choose a couple of pairs of yoga pants and tank tops. It’s highly likely we’ll be driving half the night and then turning around tomorrow after we talk to Peter, so I’ll just need comfortable stuff for the car. And seeing as we’re going to a retreat, I want to at least look the part while we’re there.

  I lug my suitcase back out to the living room. Brad stands up.

  “Let me help you with that.”

  “No, it’s fine…”

  “I insist.”

  He carries it outside and down the steps. Gia pops the trunk so he can load it in. I face Brad.

  “I shouldn’t be gone for long, but you may have heard that Will knows I work for Gia now, so I’m probably best off finding somewhere else to live when I get back.”

  “I’ll keep your room free just in case,” he promises. “My Hawaii savings are on track, so I’m not in a hurry to find anyone else.”

  “Thanks, roomie,” I say affectionately.

  His face turns serious. My cheeks heat up.

  “You deserve someone awesome, Chrissie. I’m not sure I’m what you’re looking for, but please know that I think you are one of the coolest chicks I’ve ever met and I’ll be here anytime you need me.”

  “Aw, Brad…”

  I can’t finish talking because he’s suddenly kissing me. And somehow, it feels right. Not in a relationship-y kind of way…more just in a two friends saying goodbye kind of way.

  He walks backwards towards the house, his hand on his chest as if it pains him to see me leave.

  “I’ll see you soon.”

  I close the trunk and then jump in the car, waving out the window.

  “See ya, Brad. Thanks for everything.”

  We pull away and Gia accelerates off down the road.

  She looks at me for a second, even though she should be watching where she’s going. “Please tell me why you’re depressed when you have someone like that to make out with?”

  I laugh. “He’s ten years younger than me and a commitment-phobe.”

  “Ah. Well, it won’t be long, sweetie. You’ll get your happily ever after soon.”

  I hope so. I really do.

  ***

  It feels like forever before we reach the outskirts of the city, but we’re soon on the freeway, heading south. Just as we’re passing through Palo Alto, my phone rings.

  “Hi, it’s Barb from City Realty! Sorry to call so late.”

  “Oh, that’s fine! Have you got another buyer for me?” I joke.

  “Actually, the same ones. They’re offering an additional ten thousand because they love the place so much.”

  “Oh, wow. Okay. So we’ll come out ahead then?”

  “Yes, of course, dear. You would have already. Their first bid was twenty more than what you were hoping for!”

  I furrow my brow.

  “Sorry, I’m confused. What?”

  “Ah. I knew I shouldn’t have relied on Mr. Lambert to pass on the message. Luke and Molly put in an offer right after they saw the place, but your husband said you weren’t interested for that price.”

  I feel my blood starting to boil. “Did he now?” What was Corey playing at? Did he deliberately ignore me? Or did he really think it was worth holding out for more?

  “But I suppose it worked in your favor, because they’ve come back with a counter offer, and I recommend you take it.”

  “We will,” I say firmly. “I’m sorry for the lack of communication between Corey and me. I’m actually on my way out of town for a day or two, but if you don’t mind drawing up the paperwork, I’ll make sure Corey signs the contract.”

  “Great! Well, I suppose congratulations are in order. I’ll be in touch when everything’s confirmed.”

  “Thank you. And if you need anything, you have my details.”

  “I do. Thanks, Chrissie.”

  I hang up, seething.

  “Everything all right?” Gia asks. I must be muttering to myself because she sounds concerned.

  “Just a minute.” I call Corey’s number. I am positively li
vid. Sure, we’re now going to come out with an additional five grand each, but it was a pretty risky move. And greedy. We already would have got way more than we wanted.

  It goes to voicemail. Naturally.

  I leave a brief but cutting message, telling him if he doesn’t agree to the deal within a week, I’m going to get my lawyer involved. I’m sick of him being so damn flaky and secretive.

  When I hang up, I try to mentally shake off the tension.

  It’s been a rough few months and everything that could go wrong kind of has. But if I continue keeping a mental tally of all the negative stuff, I’m never going to recover.

  I try to draw strength from Gia’s positive attitude. As we speak, she is humming along to a song on the radio and driving with a blissful smile on her face.

  Channel Gia.

  I’m starting over. From now.

  NINETEEN

  It’s a four-hour drive to the center. Gia calls ahead to book us in, explaining that we were unable to make the start of the latest intake, but letting them know we’re still happy to pay full price. Luckily they are able to accommodate us. I don’t know what we would have done otherwise.

  If we had more time, I would suggest Gia take the road through Santa Cruz and Monterey because I love that part of the coast, but it’s already going to be after ten by the time we arrive.

  Gia and I don’t talk much. She’s good that way, knowing exactly when to give me space and when to get involved. Instead, we listen to music, alternating playlists on our phones. I’m in a bit of a Janis Joplin and Radiohead mood. Gia intersperses this with annoying one hit wonders like “The Macarena” and “Mambo No. 5”. I know she’s kind of doing it on purpose to counteract my negativity, but I would prefer she went for something a little less irritating.

  The last hour of the journey is slow going as we crawl down a gravelly dirt road. There are no streetlights or guard rails the entire way, and I find myself tightly gripping the handle above the car door, trying not to focus on the dark valley beside us.

  “Do you think this is safe?” I ask Gia nervously.

  “It’s fine. You’re just anxious because of all the stuff that’s been going on in your life lately.” She waves an arm around to illustrate her point.

  I shudder. “I’d feel better if you kept both hands on the wheel.”