Beautifully Unfinished

by Beverley Hollowed

  “Please, don’t go out with him,” Tucker repeated, as he gave Lucy a pleading look.

  “Why not, Tucker?” Lucy asked, as she looked up into his eyes. “Give me a good reason why I shouldn’t go out with him again.

  “He isn’t the right man for you,” he replied, staring into her eyes.

  “And who is?” She asked in a tiny voice. She wanted him to say he was. That he was the right man for her, and that the thought of her with anyone else was too much for him to bear.

  She held her breath as she waited for him to speak, for him to say something, but he just stared at her.

  “Who is the right man for me, Tucker?” Lucy pushed, as she longed for him to take her in his arms and kiss her.

  “Anyone but him,” Tucker sighed, and dropped his eyes from hers. Lucy could feel her heart break. She really thought he would say he was the right man for her; she really thought he wanted her too, but maybe she was wrong.

  “Well, I don’t see them lining up around the block to take me out,” Lucy said as she quickly blinked back the tears. “But Riley wants me, so there is nothing else to say.”

  She stared at Tucker for a few seconds before she stepped back and reached for the door.

  “Goodnight, Tucker,” Lucy said before she slowly closed the door. She turned and walked up the stairs to her room, her feet almost as heavy as her heart. She walked into her bedroom and sat at the old dressing table she used to sit at all those years before.

  She thought about what Tucker had said about Riley. There was something she had to be missing, but she had no idea what. She wondered if she should call Riley and cancel their date the following night, but she only had his old number, and she was sure that after nine years, it would have been changed.

  She thought about the last time she called him. It was the day she was coming home from the hospital.

  She had been kept in for a few days, but the doctors had finally given the all clear for her dad to take her home.

  She had hoped Riley would have been by before now, but he never came. She was hurt but more than that she was worried that he thought she had led Trent on, and that this was all her fault. She needed to talk to him.

  She pulled up his number on her phone and stared at it for about twenty minutes before she finally got the nerve to hit dial.

  It rang about five times, and Lucy’s heart sank as she thought he was ignoring her call. She was about to hang up when it was answered.

  “It’s okay baby, I’ve got it,” she heard a girl’s voice call out before she turned her attention to the phone. “Hello, Riley’s phone. Amber speaking.”

  “H…hi,” Lucy said nervously. “Can I speak to Riley please?”

  “He isn’t available to take a call right now,” Amber said, and Lucy could almost picture her flicking her hair as she spoke. “Do you want me to take a message?”

  “Can you tell him Lucy called?” Lucy said, as hot tears stung her eyes.

  “And why the hell would I want to do that, Skank?” Amber hissed at Lucy. “You are nothing but a dirty whore that fucked one of his friends, then pretends she was raped.”

  “Th…that’s not what happened!” Lucy exclaimed as the tears trickled down her face.

  “We all know what happened, Skank,” Amber continued. “Now stay the hell away from Riley.”

  The phone went dead.

  Lucy looked down at her hands, and she realised she was shaking just from the memory of that day. She had always wondered over the years if Riley truly believed she had just cheated on him.

  She looked at her reflection in the mirror as a shuddering sob left her lips.

  She pulled back her blouse and let her eyes fall to the scar that was on her chest.

  How could I have ever wanted this? She thought miserably to herself.

  Then the thought occurred to Lucy, if things were to progress with Riley, what would he think when he saw the scars on her body from that night? Would he reject her again?

  Then she thought of Tucker. Would he reject her when he saw her scars? Maybe that was the reason he didn’t want her. He saw the scar on her wrist; maybe she was just too damaged for him. Maybe she was just too damaged for anyone.

  She pushed up from the stool in front of the dressing table and climbed onto the bed without even getting stripped. She rolled onto her side and curled herself into a ball.

  She closed her eyes and sobbed until exhaustion took over and she drifted into a restless sleep.

  Chapter 10

  Lucy stood and looked at her reflection in the mirror hanging in her father’s hallway and her stomach heaved with nerves. She closed her eyes and took a deep, steadying breath. When she felt the nausea pass, she opened her eyes and looked down at her watch. Riley was due any minute.

  Lucy had spent the day with her father, but she chose not to tell him she had a date with Riley. She was on pins and needles all day. She just wanted tonight to be over and done with. She thought she would have seen Riley around the hospital and she wasn’t sure if she was relieved or disappointed that she didn’t. Part of her knew if she had, she would have cancelled their date.

  She was surprised, however, that Tucker hadn’t shown up at the hospital. Lucy knew he was upset with her and angry she was going out with Riley, but she would have thought he would have seen past all of that to visit her dad as he had promised he would.

  Suddenly, the door bell sounded, and Lucy’s heart began to race. She took a couple of deep breaths before she turned and walked to the front door. She blew out a breath and opened the door.

  “Hi,” she said, as she forced a smile on her face that didn’t match how she was feeling inside.

  “Hi yourself,” Riley said, giving her that same smile she remembered so well. He was as gorgeous as he always was, maybe more. He was wearing a black, single-breasted, tailored suit that fitted him perfectly. Beneath it, he wore a crisp white shirt and that was opened at the neck. He looked perfect. “You look stunning.”

  “Thank you,” Lucy said. She was wearing a violet, chiffon tunic style dress that fell to her knees and a pair of black Jimmy Choo pumps. Lucy liked this style of dress on her; the neckline covered all three scars that Trent had left on her, and the chiffon long sleeve with cuffs at the wrist hid the scar she gave herself.

  “I brought you these,” he said, as he handed her a bunch of white roses and Lucy smiled because he remembered they were her favourite.

  “You remembered,” she said, as she took them from him and brought them to her nose to breathe in their glorious scent.

  “I remember it all,” he said, surprising her. He stepped towards her and her heart thumped harder in her chest because she knew he was going to kiss her. She instinctively stepped back because she wasn’t ready yet.

  “I should put these in water and get my bag,” she said. As she turned back to the hall table, she sat the flowers in the vase her dad had there, then hurried to the kitchen to fill it with water. When she returned to the hallway, she picked up her bag and took another steadying breath before she turned back to Riley.

  “Are you okay?” Riley said as he took another step closer to her, but stopped when he saw the fear on her face.

  “Riley, I’m not the same girl I once was,” Lucy said, offering an explanation. “I just need a little time.”

  He stared at her for a moment, then smiled as he stepped closer to her again. This time, he reached for her hand and brought it to his lips.

  “We can take as long as you need,” he said looking into her eyes. “Now, how about that dinner?”

  “Okay,” she nodded, and she let him lead her from the house, still holding her hand. It took everything she had inside her, not to pull her hand free. It just didn’t feel right, not like when Tucker had held her hand the day before. With him, it felt comfortable, normal even.

  When they reached Riley’s car, he released Lucy’s hand and opened the car door for her. He smiled at her as she slid into the passenger seat and closed the
door.

  You can do this, Lucy; she chanted to herself over and over again while she waited for Riley to get into his seat.

  When he did, he looked over and gave her a reassuring smile before he started the engine and pulled away from the kerb.

  Ten minutes later, they drove into the car park of Montgomery’s Bar and Grill. Riley glanced over at Lucy as he pulled into a parking space.

  “I know this isn’t Clarissa’s,” Riley said, and Lucy was surprised that he looked a little embarrassed because he wasn’t taking her to the best restaurant in town. “But they were fully booked at this short notice. That said, Monty’s do the best steak in town anyway.”

  “Sounds great,” Lucy smiled as she tried to sound happier than she was feeling, but something inside told her that this was an epically bad idea. A noisy, crowded bar on a Friday night was Lucy’s idea of hell.

  Riley climbed out of the car, and Lucy took yet another deep breath.

  “Are you ready?” Riley asked, as he opened her door and held out his hand. Lucy smiled as she cautiously took his hand and climbed out.

  Riley led a very nervous Lucy towards the door, and as she had been afraid of, the place was very busy. The girl that greeted them at the door showed them to a booth down near the back of the bar.

  As they pushed their way through the crowd, Lucy thought she was going to lose it every time someone touched her.

  When they reached the booth, she was relieved to be tucked in, away from the crowd, and was even happier when Riley slipped into the far side of the booth, giving her a little space. As the waitress handed them the menus, Lucy took the chance to hide behind it, closed her eyes and took a few calming breaths, something she had learned to do in counselling a few years before.

  “So,” Riley said, once they had ordered and the waitress had returned with their drinks. “How have you been, really?”

  “I’m good,” Lucy replied. “I love living in New York. I love my job.”

  “Yeah, I heard you have your own studio in New York,” Riley said with a nod. “I have seen some of your spreads in a few big magazines. I was very impressed.”

  “Thank you,” Lucy replied, as she blushed a little.

  “I am happy for you,” Riley said, giving her a smile that she knew all too well, and Lucy could feel that old familiar tug pulling at her heart just as it always did. “You did what you always wanted to do.”

  “And you,” Lucy said, as she turned things back onto Riley. “You’re a doctor, just like you always wanted to be.”

  “Yeah,” Riley shrugged. “I am hoping to transfer to a bigger hospital soon; I am hoping for maybe one in New York.”

  He gave Lucy a look, and she knew he was asking what she thought of that idea.

  “That would be great for you if you did,” she replied giving him a safe answer, and she thought Riley looked a little disappointed. “It would be a great opportunity.”

  The waitress arrived back with their food and gave Riley a smile before she glanced at Lucy and gave her a strange look.

  Lucy pretended not to notice, but she had seen the exchange, and she would be lying if she said she wasn’t a little bothered. She wondered if the waitress recognised who she was. It was a small town after all, and people forget nothing.

  “Aren’t you hungry?” Riley asked Lucy a few minutes later as he watched her absentmindedly push her food around her plate.

  “Yeah,” she said with a smile. “I’m thinking about my dad.”

  It was a lie, but she wasn’t about to tell him that she felt uncomfortable and that it was taking all her strength not to run out of this place and never come back.

  “He will be okay,” Riley said, giving her a reassuring smile. “He has you.”

  “Yes, he does,” Lucy nodded. “For as long as he needs me.”

  “So there is no one special waiting for you back in New York?” Riley asked, and Lucy was surprised to hear the nerves in his voice.

  “No,” she replied shyly. “There is no one waiting.”

  “I am glad to hear that,” Riley said, as he reached for her hand, but before he took it someone stopped next to the table. Lucy’s heart began to race, and she could feel the blood drain from her entire body the moment he started to speak.

  It was the voice that haunted her dreams, the voice that played in her mind, over and over as she lay in the darkness of her room after she had woken in a cold sweat.

  “Riley fucking Jones!” Trent exclaimed, as he lifted his hand to high five Riley. “How the hell have you been, man? It’s been awhile.”

  Lucy sat there waiting for Riley’s reaction and to her horror, Riley greeted him with a broad smile and raised his hand to return his high five.

  She could feel her stomach heave as her eyes dropped to Trent’s hands. They were huge, almost like shovels. She closed her eyes and the memory of them on her body, pinning her down crashed into her mind.

  Keep it together. Keep it together; she chanted to herself over and over again.

  The two men continued to chat to each other, seemly unaware of how fast Lucy was spiralling and coming apart. She opened her eyes just as Riley glanced towards her, and instantly the expression on his face changed.

  Suddenly Trent followed Riley’s gaze. When he turned and saw Lucy sitting there, he gave her a broad smile. Lucy knew that for a moment, he didn’t recognise her as she watched him out of the corner of her eye, but his face instantly changed the moment it registered with him who she was.

  “Hey, Luc,” he said, as he forced a big smile on his face. “It’s been a while.”

  Lucy just stared at Riley as she held her breath, but Trent was not going to be put off easily.

  “Come on, Luc,” he said, as he slid into to booth next to her and casually draped his arm around her shoulder. Lucy froze as the familiar stench of beer and stale cigarettes invaded her nostrils. “You’re not still mad at me?”

  Lucy thought her heart was going to burst through her chest.

  “Trent,” Riley said, and the look on his face told Lucy he knew she was spiralling. “I think it’s best you just go.”

  “Come on, Riley,” Trent said, giving Lucy a squeeze as his other hand brushed her leg. “I’m just catching up.”

  “Trent, let her go,” Riley said standing up.

  “Jesus, Jones,” Trent said, as he lifted his arm from around Lucy and he stood up. “Don’t get your knickers in a twist.”

  He turned back to look at Lucy and gave her a smile.

  “Good to see you again, Luc,” he said, pinning her with his eyes and giving her a look that made her stomach heave. “We should catch up sometime.”

  Lucy tried to blink back the tears, as she could feel her entire body begin to shake.

  Without saying another word, Trent turned and disappeared into the crowd.

  Lucy released a sob as she suddenly stood up and grabbed her bag. As she stepped out of the booth, Riley stepped out in front of her and stopped her.

  “Please don’t leave,” Riley pleaded.

  “Why did you bring me here?” She asked just loud enough for him to hear her but she didn’t look up at him.

  “I didn’t know he was going to be here,” Riley replied. “I swear, Lucy.”

  “And you…you just talked to him, like nothing happened,” Lucy sobbed. “Like he…he didn’t do those things to me. Like he didn’t destroy my life.”

  “Luc, please,” Riley said stepping closer to her. He took her hand, but she abruptly pulled it free.

  “DON’T TOUCH ME!” She screamed at him angrily, not caring that everyone was now watching them. “And my name is Lucy. Don’t you ever call me Luc again!”

  Without saying another word, Lucy pushed past Riley. She didn’t stop until she was outside.

  She had no idea where she was going to go or what she should do. The thought occurred to her that she could call Tucker, but she was too embarrassed to face him. He had warned her; he had begged her not to go out with Riley.
>
  She just needed to get away from the bar as quickly as she possibly could.

  Just then a cab pulled up outside the bar, dropping off two passengers. Lucy ran to the car and jumped inside.

  “Where to?” The driver asked.

  “J…just drive,” she managed to say.

  As the car pulled away from the kerb, Riley came barrelling out the door of the bar.

  “LUCY, PLEASE!” He cried out as he reached the cab, but it was too late. The car pulled away and left him standing helplessly in the street.

  “Where to, ma’am?” The driver asked again, but Lucy couldn’t answer, she couldn’t catch her breath. “Sweetheart, are you okay?”

  Still Lucy didn’t answer. Instead, she pinched her eyes closed and covered her ears, as once again she was the seventeen-year-old girl trying to make the world disappear.

  Chapter 11

  Lucy realised the car had stopped, but she had no idea where she was. She could hear the driver getting out of the cab, and walking away, but she made no attempt to move. She was frozen with fear.

  Her mind was racing. How could Riley just sit there and let Trent touch her? How could he even talk to him knowing what he had done to her?

  She couldn’t get the memory of his smell out of her mind. It made Lucy’s stomach heave.

  A few minutes later, the door beside her opened, and someone leaned in and touched her arm. Lucy’s whole body stiffened up even tighter as she pulled away from whoever it was.

  “Lucy,” a kind voice said to her. Lucy knew she recognised the voice, but couldn’t place it. “It’s April. Sweetie, what’s happened?”

  Lucy slowly opened her eyes, and they were met with the kind, worried eyes of the girl she met in the drug store a couple of days earlier. She had no idea how she had got here, but she was happy to see a friendly face.

  “Sweetie, why don’t you let me take you inside?” April said as once again she reached out for Lucy again.

  “Please, don’t touch me,” Lucy whispered, as she silently cried.