Beautifully Unfinished

by Beverley Hollowed

  Lucy closed her eyes, almost unable to process what had just happened. There were no words to describe it.

  Suddenly hot tears pooled in her eyes, and Lucy began to cry.

  “Oh my God, Lucy,” Tucker said, as he looked down at her, unsure of what he should. “I knew you weren’t ready. I am so sor…”

  “No!” Lucy cried, stopping him mid-sentence. “I am not upset. Not like that.”

  “Then why are you crying?” Tucker asked, giving her a confused look,

  “Because I feel like I have been saved,” she whispered, as she stared up into his eyes. “You have saved me, Tucker. Thank you.”

  Tucker didn’t respond. Instead, he pressed his lips to hers because that was all he needed to hear.

  Chapter 17

  Lucy woke with a start and was confused by her surroundings. When she felt someone move next to her, for a split second she froze, but the moment Tucker reached out and touched her, she breathed out a sigh of relief.

  “Are you okay?” Tucker asked, as he sat up in the bed and looked at Lucy with concern. She just turned to him and smiled before she leaned in and kissed him softly on the lips.

  “I couldn’t be better,” she said, looking up into his eyes. “It just still feels weird not to be waking up in my own bed back in New York. For the last six years, I have woken up, looking at the same walls, always on my own. This is all very new to me. It will take a little getting used to.”

  “Well,” Tucker said as he leaned over and kissed her bare shoulder. “I could get used to this very easily.”

  Tucker suddenly sighed as if he had thought of something.

  “What is it?” Lucy asked. “What’s wrong?”

  “I need to talk to the chief,” Tucker replied, and Lucy couldn’t help but smile.

  “He means a lot to you, doesn’t he?” She said as she reached up and touched his face. This was all so new to her; she never imagined she would feel so at ease touching someone, much less them touching her, but she loved to touch Tucker. It was like she had come home.

  “The chief is my only real family, Lucy,” Tucker replied honestly. “I don’t even know when the last time I talked to my mom was? I called her on her birthday; I think that was the last time we spoke.”

  “Well,” Lucy said leaning in closer to Tucker and pressing her forehead to his. “For what it’s worth, I think it’s her loss because I think you are pretty damn awesome.”

  Tucker smiled before he kissed her tenderly on the lips.

  “I have to go to the station this morning,” he said, looking into Lucy’s eyes. “But I will stop by the hospital later and talk to your dad, and tell him I am falling for his beautiful daughter.”

  Lucy’s smile faded.

  “You know, he is as upset about what happened between you two, as you are,” Tucker said, knowing what it was that Lucy was worried about.

  “It’s funny,” Lucy sighed. “For the last nine years, everything between us has been perfect. We never argued, never disagreed, but since I came back here, it’s like we have become two different people.”

  “That’s not true,” Tucker quickly replied. You are still you, and the Chief is still the Chief. These things have always been there, you finally coming home has just made the both of you face them.”

  “Do you think we can get past this?” Lucy asked sadly.

  “Of course, you can,” Tucker said, then kissed her bare shoulder. “But you both need to talk honestly to each other.”

  “I guess we will,” Lucy smiled, then pressed her lips to his once more.

  When Lucy reached the hospital a couple of hours later, she sat in her car for a moment and tried to calm herself down.

  Since Tucker had dropped her back to her father’s, she had been going over what she would say to her dad in her mind.

  As she stood beneath the hot shower earlier, she tried to clear her mind of everything and figure out what she would say to her dad, but flashes of the night before filled her mind, and it made her smile.

  Everything was so easy with Tucker, despite their bumpy start, Lucy felt so comfortable and at ease with him. She wished things could be that simple with her father.

  Now she was at the hospital, she knew she couldn’t put it off anymore, she pushed open the car door and got out of the car.

  As she walked towards the hospital, she looked up at the trees that lined the pathway to the hospital entrance. They were a mix of greens, reds, and golds and looked so pretty. Lucy wished she had brought her camera with her when she packed to come back here. She normally brought one everywhere she went. Maybe she would have Alison send her some of her stuff; she could take this time away from New York to get some new pictures just for herself, or maybe for the exhibit her friend Shelby was always tormenting her to do.

  Lucy had considered doing the exhibit, but she always backed out, afraid she just wasn’t good enough. She knew in her heart; she had what it took; she was a highly regarded, and much sought after photographer. She had bookings almost a year in advance, but having her own exhibition would mean the big time, and it scared Lucy.

  She was lost in thought when she reached the elevators as she absentmindedly pressed the call button.

  When the door opened, she stepped inside without even looking up. It wasn’t until she was inside that she lifted her head, and her heart dropped when her eyes met Riley’s. She quickly turned to make her escape, but it was too late, the doors had closed, and the elevator had sprung to life.

  “Lucy, please,” Riley said, as he moved directly behind her and his familiar scent filled her senses. She closed her eyes and a million memories filled her mind. Memories of all the good times they had together, all the times she had whispered she loved him and he would tell her that he loved her too.

  But then she remembered how he looked at her that night, as she lay on the trolley in the hospital. How she felt when he wouldn’t even touch her. He had made her feel broken and dirty. He had let her down.

  “Please!” he begged. “You can’t pretend that you don’t have feelings for me, Lucy. I know you do, I know you still love me because I still love you. I can see it in your eyes when you look at me. Tell me I am wrong.”

  Still she didn’t reply, but inside her heart was hammering so fast she thought it was going to explode.

  “Are you just going to ignore me?” He said, leaning in closer to her. “Pretend like I don’t exist? I know you, Lucy. I know you are stubborn, but I know you have a good heart. You can’t hate me.”

  He suddenly reached up and brushed her hair back from her ear and brought his lips to it, so close she could feel him breathe against it, but he didn’t touch her.

  “I love you, Lucy,” Riley whispered. “I always have. I know I let you down, but if you give me a chance, I will never let you down again.

  Suddenly the doors pinged open, and Lucy stepped off the elevator and hurried down the corridor to her father’s room. She didn’t look back, but she didn’t have to. She could feel Riley’s eyes on her; she had always known when he was watching her.

  She reached her father’s room and released the breath she had been holding before she took another deep breath, she opened the door and hurried inside.

  “Lucy,” her dad said the minute she stepped through the door. Lucy froze, she had been so distracted by Riley; she had completely forgotten about what was going on with her dad. “Sweetheart, are you okay?”

  “I’m good,” she said, as she forced a smile. She stood next to the door and avoided eye contact with her dad. She knew if she looked at him, she would have cried, so she picked a spot on the wall and stared at that.

  “You look like you have seen a ghost,” he said, and she knew he could see right through her. “Has something happened?”

  She didn’t reply; she knew if she spoke she would cry, and she refused to give into tears. So she just shook her head.

  “Then, you’re still upset over yesterday,” Tom continued. “Or rather about what we discu
ssed yesterday.”

  “It’s in the past,” Lucy whispered, as she blinked back the tears that were stinging her eyes.

  “But it’s not,” Tom said, and Lucy was surprised when his voice cracked, and she knew he was upset too. “Not if it’s still hurting you.”

  Lucy allowed her eyes to meet her father’s as the tears slowly trickled down her face, but she made no move to go to him.

  “Lucy, what you heard back then…” Tom began. “I know what it must have sounded like to you, but you have to believe me, it’s not what I felt.”

  Lucy didn’t respond. Instead, she just stared at him.

  “Yes I was embarrassed,” Tom admitted, and the words felt like a knife in Lucy’s soul. “But I was never embarrassed by you. I am embarrassed and so disappointed by me. I let you down. Every time I looked at you, it was a constant reminder that I let that animal get away with what he did to you.”

  Lucy still didn’t speak. She just stood there and watched him as her heart broke. She wanted to hug him and tell him she loved him, but she couldn’t seem to move.

  “And I was relieved that you went to stay with Jenny,” he continued. “But not because I wanted you out of the way. It was because I was scared.”

  “You were scared?” Lucy asked with a small sob.

  “It was my job to keep you safe,” Tom explained, and Lucy was stunned to see the tears trickle down his face. “And I don’t mean as a police officer. I mean as a dad. You were my little girl, and you were hurt. I let you down.”

  “You didn’t let me down, Daddy,” Lucy cried as she wiped the tears from her face with the back of her hand.

  “But I did,” Tom croaked. “I should have done what Tucker did. I should have gone and beat that…that piece of filth to a bloody pulp. I couldn’t even get that right.”

  “And what would that have done?” Lucy asked, as she took a step closer to the bed. “You would have been locked up, and then I would have had no one.”

  “Lucy, I have never been ashamed of you,” Tom said, and this time, he didn’t even try to hold back the tears. “I love you more than anything else in this world. You are the one thing I got right. You are the one thing I did in my life that I am proud of.”

  “Then why don’t you want me here?” Lucy asked, as she took yet another step closer to her father. “Why would you risk making yourself sicker just to have me leave?”

  “It’s not about not wanting you here,” Tom insisted. “Lucy, how could you even think that? This is about keeping you safe. I will not fail you again. I promised your mother as she took her last breaths that I would do everything in my power to make you happy and keep you safe. And I have failed miserably…”

  “No you haven’t,” Lucy said, as she finally closed the distance between her and her father. She wrapped her arms around him, held him tightly and cried. “You have been the best father in the world; you are the best father in the world. I would be dead right now if it weren't for you. You know this. You saved me so many times.”

  Lucy hugged her dad and cried. She cried for him, and she cried for herself. She knew they were both hurting, and she didn’t know how to make it better.

  “Sweetheart,” Tom finally said when their tears stopped. “There is something else troubling you, please talk to me.”

  “It’s nothing, I swear,” she replied, but she was lying. She felt so conflicted. She had spent the most perfect night with Tucker, and she knew she was falling for him, and that scared her.

  Loving someone was not an option, she couldn’t open herself to someone like that again. She loved Riley, and he had broken her heart.

  Then she thought of Riley and the things he had said to her in the elevator. She was so hurt and angry with him, but there was a tiny part, deep inside her, that wanted to believe that he was telling the truth, that he did love her, and she hadn’t been so wrong about him all those years before.

  Either way, she knew things were not going to end well, because one way or another, once her father was well enough, she would be going back to New York, and she didn’t know if she had room in her life for love, especially not a long distant romance.

  Chapter 18

  “You’re very quiet tonight,” Tucker said, as he and Lucy sat at her father’s kitchen table. Lucy had cooked dinner for them both, but as she sat there across from him, her appetite seemed to have waned.

  She looked up at him and smiled, but she didn’t answer him. The truth was, she had no idea what she was feeling, or how to begin to put it into words.

  Lucy had spent the entire day at the hospital with her dad. When Tucker arrived a little before six, Lucy excused herself, giving him a chance to talk to her father as Tucker had requested.

  As she stepped out of the room, she spotted Riley at the far end of the corridor, so she turned in the other direction and hurried down to the ladies’ toilets. He called out her name, but Lucy was relieved when he didn’t follow her.

  When she reached the ladies, she hurried into a cubicle and locked the door. She sat down and rested her head in her hands as she tried to clear her mind. She closed her eyes and tried to push every thought out of her head, but it was no use. Her head was filled with memories of her night with Tucker, and the things Riley had said to her.

  She knew that her feelings for Riley were no longer what they once were. Yes, she would always care for him, but she knew she could never see him in the same way she used to. Too much had happened between them now for them ever to go back there. Still his words got to her, and she had no idea why.

  Then Lucy thought of Tucker. She knew she was falling for him, and falling for him hard. She had always protected her heart. Even with Steve, she had liked him. She had liked him enough to try to take things further, but she never considered a future with him, never imagined what it would be like to spend her life with him. She found that she did with Tucker, and that single thought scared her more than anything else in this entire world.

  By falling for him, Lucy knew she was giving him the power to destroy her world, and that was something she always swore she would never do. She always swore she would never give any man that power over her. She needed to protect herself, protect her heart from being broken again.

  “Lucy,” Tucker said, pulling her back to the here and now. “Are you okay? You’re miles away.”

  “I was just thinking,” she said, as she looked up at Tucker and gave him a nervous smile.

  “Has something happened?” He asked, giving her a look of concern. “You don’t seem yourself.”

  “No,” Lucy replied, but she couldn’t look him in the eye anymore. She dropped her gaze to her plate. “It’s just…”

  “Just?” Tucker repeated, and she could hear the nervous edge in his voice. Lucy’s heart tightened, afraid anything she might say now, might hurt or upset Tucker, and that was the last thing she wanted.

  “What are we doing here, Tucker?” Lucy said, as she set her knife and fork down on the table and let her eyes meet his once again.

  “Well right now, we are having dinner,” Tucker said with a nervous laugh.

  “No, I mean what are we, you are I doing?” Lucy clarified herself.

  “I don’t understand,” Tucker replied, as he too set down his knife and fork. “Lucy, what’s the matter? I thought you were okay about what happened, about what we did last night? If you’re having second thoughts or regrets…”

  “No! It’s not that,” she said, as she stood up and began to pace up and down. “It’s just; I was thinking. How do you see this ending?”

  “Ending?” Tucker replied, as his smile faded. “Who says it will end?”

  “Won’t it?” Lucy asked, as she stopped and turned to face Tucker. “What about when I have to go back to my life?”

  “Where has this come from and why do we have to worry about this now, Lucy?” Tucker said, as he too stood up and walked towards her. He took her by the hands and turned her to face him. “Can’t we just enjoy this for now, and w
hen the time comes, we can cross that bridge when we need to.”

  “It’s not that simple, though, is it?” Lucy asked, looking Tucker in the eyes as her heart hammered rapidly in her chest. “How do we know that in the end, one of us won’t get hurt?”

  “Why would we be hurt?” Tucker asked, and Lucy knew he was a little thrown by her comment. “Lucy, I don’t know about you, but I have no intentions of letting you walk out of my life again. I know this is new to you, and I understand you’re afraid. After everything you have been through, you have earned the right to be. But you have never left my mind since the first day I saw you across the quad. This, what we have, this is for keeps.”

  Lucy smiled, but inside she couldn’t help but have her doubts. She looked up at Tucker as he stepped closer to her and slipped his arms around her waist.

  “What is it you are afraid of?” He whispered, as he drew her closer to him.

  Lucy stared up at Tucker and considered what she should say, but she was scared. So many thoughts were running through her mind, and they all scared her to death.

  “Lucy, please,” Tucker said, as he pressed his forehead to hers.

  “I am afraid that I am falling for you,” she replied, knowing she needed, to be honest with him. “And I am afraid I am going to be hurt again.”

  “But that will never happen,” Tucker said, as he held her close to him and looked deeply into her eyes. “I love you, Lucy. I have always loved you.”

  “But so does Riley,” she said, as she dropped her eyes from his. “He says he is still in love with me, but he hurt me more than anyone has ever hurt me in my life. Even more, than Trent did.”

  “He told you he still loves you?” Tucker asked, and Lucy could hear the jealousy in his voice.

  “He said he knows he let me down,” Lucy replied in a small voice. “But that he has never stopped loving me. He wants me to give him a chance, but…”

  “Do…do you love him?” Tucker asked, releasing her from his embrace.

  “No!” Lucy quickly exclaimed, looking up into Tucker’s eyes. “I don’t, I mean when I came back, and I first saw him, I felt confused, but not anymore. The truth is, I am more confused about my feelings for you.”