Hasty Resolution

by Mullens, Sam Taylor

  I put my fingers to my lips. “It’s our little secret.” I wink.

  Oops, I forgot some mommies are adamant about that rule in the kitchen for their kids, but I’ve never killed a child or myself by licking raw batter, so I didn’t think twice before handing the spatula off to her. Hailey doesn’t seem to mind and Doug didn’t come rushing over to stop me, so I’m not going to fret about it.

  As the timer goes off to declare the cookies are done, Ashley announces in the doorway with cupped hands, “It’s ready! The kite is ready!”

  Doug scoops the toddler in his hands as the other girls beat him out the door.

  “You’re not going to miss the big event, are you?” Doug asks, walking into the kitchen.

  “Heavens, no. I just need to take the last batch of cookies out to cool. I’ll be right out,” I say with a guarantee.

  Once the cookies lie on racks to cool, I start cleaning the kitchen.

  Emily, dressed in a purple tutu skirt, bolts through the door straight to the kitchen to grab my hand. “Uncle Jake won’t start without you.”

  I allow her to lead me away from the kitchen, out of the cabin. Zeke follows and the girl shrieks at the sight of him.

  I crouch down. “It’s all right. He won’t hurt you. He is more afraid of you than you are of him. Here, give me your hand.”

  Emily has her fist in a tight ball.

  “Open your hand; it’s okay. Let him smell you.”

  Zeke’s tongue licks her hand. “Ewww!” She wipes her wet, slobbery hand full of dog drool on her shirt.

  “Let’s introduce you.” I turn to the black lab. “Zeke, this is Emily.” I look at the girl, “Emily, this is Zeke.”

  I extend my hand and Zeke lays his paw in mine. Emily slowly takes his paw to shake it. “See, Emily, now you have a new best friend.”

  The little girl’s face lights up and she lunges at Zeke’s neck. She squeezes the dog tightly. Zeke allows the Emily to squeeze him without any problems. The last thing I want is to have these girls nervous around Zeke.

  The other girls, Ashley and Hailey, come to see what is keeping us.

  “Come on, you guys. We are all waiting!” Ashley, the oldest, the most excited, pleads.

  Emily, Zeke, and I run to the grassy field to watch the launching of the kite. Ashley runs ahead to stand next to Jake, who is in the middle of the field. I will Zeke to stay next to me.

  Jake takes the lead to launch the kite in the air. Ashley stands vigilant by his side so she in turn can do it on her own. Jake runs as he gradually tugs on the string to lift it into the air. The breeze in the air is perfect for kite flying; not too brisk and not too calm either. There are a few puffy clouds in the azure sky. The kite is no ordinary kite, with its two cubes connected to one another and adorned with a rainbow of colors. Ashley, Hailey, and Emily run to stand at Jake’s feet to await their turn to hold onto the string. The toddler, Maddy, waddles to where they stand.

  Doug walks closer to me. “It’s so much easier to fly a kite here. The wind is always perfect, there’s plenty of space, and no power lines to worry about.”

  I motion to where Jake is standing navigating the kite midair. “Plus, we have an expert kite flyer who adores your girls.”

  “He does love them, doesn’t he?” Doug keeps his eyes on the kite. “His engineering degree from the University of Southern California makes him quite resourceful in putting together a complicated kite.”

  “I did not know that little fact about Jake.”

  I rock on my heels, maintaining our conversation.

  “How old is Ashley?” I ask.

  “She just turned ten this summer.”

  “That’s the age of my youngest.”

  “I did not skip over that fact with Jake. He shouldn’t have taken you from your kids.”

  I swallow hard. “He knows that. So, Jake has told you everything about me?”

  “Yes, and showed me all the news reports.”

  “And you didn’t do anything about it?” I ask, baffled. “Never mind, forget I said anything. It’s too late to return to that moot point. My husband has written me off. As far as I am concerned, I voluntarily got into Jake’s truck and drove here with him. At least that’s the story I will tell and always stand by.”

  Doug’s mouth drops open. “You would do that? For Jake?”

  I shrug my shoulders. “Yes, there is no doubt in my mind. Jake already tortures himself daily about how he got me here. Why should I make him suffer any more? Besides, he has treated me as if I am royalty while I’ve been here.”

  “I’m glad to hear that. Jake really is a great guy. If anything happened to me, those girls, and now my son, belong to him.”

  “Is Jennifer okay with that?”

  “Believe it or not, it was her idea. As much as she loves her family and her friends, she willed our kids over to Jake in all our legal documents. The two of them have a love-hate relationship, but when it comes down to it, Jennifer wouldn’t leave our kids with anyone except Jake.”

  “Why is she so stressed about his failure to make a decision about his military career?” I pry.

  “I’m part of the medic team assigned to go out with Jake’s Special Operations Task Force. If Jake goes, then I go. Above all else, I go because he’s basically my brother. I’ve taken out most of the bullets and shards of metal lodged beneath his skin. I just couldn’t help him when the night terrors and hallucinations started happening. Jake’s not totally broken.”

  “I know. He wants to return.”

  “If he makes a career out of the Marines, I won’t go with him, because he most likely won’t be put back into combat. He’ll be a sniper, stand guard somewhere, or be stationed at a training camp. If he chooses to stay with the Special Ops, which is what he’s trained to do, and he’s basically the best guy on the team, he will be in a combat zone. That’s what Jennifer wants him to decide,” Doug explains.

  “Jake is like a machine. He's a superhero warrior in combat. He was highly exposed to all the cruelties of war with very few casualties of his own. It was more than just luck; it was as if he had angels by his side guarding him. However, there weren't any time outs built in on the nonstop roller coaster ride he was on. Once he was granted an opportunity to take a leave, his grandpap had a stroke. It devastated Jake being helpless in saving his grandpap when he was able to help so many men escape death in the Middle East. After his grandpap passed, he never wanted any breaks; it was if it was easier to be in a war zone than home. He got swept into the rigid routines the military naturally grants.”

  Doug breathes in deeply. “I was the ‘buddy’ that started Jake on the path to a mental health medical leave. It’s what lends him the opportunity to defer his deployments. I think he would have strangled anyone else for making him own up to what he was going through. Once he got home, I felt like I had done more damage than good. He shut down, never talked to anyone, never left here. He wasn’t doing anything useful while he was here by himself. Jake looked horrible when I'd come check on him. Now, he has come back to life. I didn't want the girls to see him in a desolate state, so they haven't been at the cabin for a long time.”

  “Jake says he doesn’t want to go back before he’s ready. He thinks he’ll put someone in harm’s way if he goes back too soon.”

  “Is anyone ever ready to go back once they’ve been home? He never endangered anyone. His last episode was bad. It’s more like he put himself in harm’s way and didn’t really care who got hurt around him. Jake is just being hard on himself, at least that is what all the counselors and psychologists say and I agree. He’s totally cleared to go back tomorrow if he’d like. He has to go back for mandatory trainings; those just haven’t presented themselves yet. The hallucinations weren’t anything….but, well…you. He resolved solving the problem into his own hands. It’s also made it so he hasn’t been here alone.”

  Doug scratches his neck, disapproving of his friend’s actions.

  “Listen, I don’t condo
ne what Jake did to get you here one bit. Whatever is going on between the two of you, it’s working for his benefit. Jake being here alone was not good. Some of the guys who are now home are incarcerated for sexual assaults, DUIs, or they are in rehabilitation clinics for drug abuse. The military tracks it all. I’m just glad Jake hasn’t become one of those guys. If you tell me, I’ll take you home right now, especially if it means no charges will be brought against Jake.”

  I feign a smile. “Jake would too. I know he would have taken me back long ago if I asked him. There have been opportunities, many chances to leave, and I haven’t taken them.”

  It saddens me to admit I have passed on opportunities to return, mainly because it makes me sound like a horrible mother, which I am. I don’t fully understand myself the reasons why I have passed them up. I just don’t want to go back, not yet.

  “Like I said, I’m not going to implicate Jake. He hurts enough as is. I realize he snapped and it could have been a lot worse. I don’t have vengeance in me. I know Jake will be held to a higher standard and take on deeper repercussions in a civilian court because he is a Marine. I don’t want to put Jake through the court system. I don’t want to put myself, or my family, through that process, either. If Jake wants to get back, then let’s just get him back. No matter when that day may come. I’m not going to be a stumbling block in the process. But, I’m also not going to push the issue.”

  Doug abruptly changes the subject.

  “How bad is your heart?”

  I suppose Doug has the right to inquire about my heart since he is the physician prescribing my medication.

  “It’s better with medicine, thanks for helping. I felt a remarkable difference with it.”

  “We can have a helicopter here if you need immediate medical attention.”

  “Jake mentioned that fact. I don’t think it will come to an extreme emergency. I just have an enlarged heart, which slows me down. I don’t have heart arrhythmia or clogged arteries. It simply means I can’t run around the lake with Jake every morning, hang myself over the side of the railing to do a thousand sit-ups, or lift the enormous dumbbells over my head he has stored in the garage.”

  Dough laughs. “Yeah, not a lot of people can do the sort of things Jake can. He can be…well, somewhat intense. I can’t do what Jake does every day.”

  I tire of talking about myself and know it is getting close to lunchtime.

  “Will your girls eat grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch?” I ask.

  “How did you ever guess? It’s their favorite!”

  “I’ll go make some and bring them out so their kite flying isn’t interrupted.” I turn to the cabin, leaving Zeke with the girls and Jake.

  I return with a basket full of warm sandwiches, fresh cut fruit, paper goods, apple juice, and a heaping stack of napkins for the girls. I lay out blankets for them to eat on and set the basket on top. The girls run over to the blanket while Jake rolls the kite string. When Maddy approaches the blanket, I find she has rocks in her mouth and her diaper is sagging to her ankles.

  “Doug, I’ll take Maddy inside to clean her up,” I suggest.

  I fish the pebbles out of her mouth and wipe the spittle of dirt oozing down her chin as I walk with her in my arms to the cabin. Any mother would have a fit over the sight of this neglected toddler.

  I set Maddy directly in the kitchen sink before stripping her clothes off. I spray her with warm water and lather soap, making sure I cover her entire body. I am relieved to find an extra outfit packed in the diaper bag.

  I squirt a blob of pink baby lotion in my hands to warm it before rubbing all over her chubby legs. I am intoxicated by the smell of her; I do miss the smell. Once she is dressed from head to toe in clean pink clothes, I scoop the top part of her curly black hair into a bow found in one of the pockets of the diaper bag.

  I carry Maddy back to the grass area and hand her off to Doug, but not before making him promise to keep a better eye on her while I clean up the picnic. Jake has resumed flying the kite, making sure to pass the string over to each of the girls so they get their fair share with the kite. Zeke appears exhausted, so I call him to rest on the porch.

  I return to the grassy area with a plate of cookies, a pitcher of milk, glasses, and more napkins. Hailey and Emily run to grab a cookie and chug down several glasses of milk. They are beginning to seem worn down, but then perk back up as they whisper an idea back and forth to one another. Jake is far away with Ashley, teaching her how to hold on and tug at the kite strings. She is too engaged with Jake and the kite to break away for anything, even a chocolate chip cookie. The other two are not shy as they propose an idea to their dad.

  “Daddy, can we have a sleepover at Uncle Jake’s tonight?” they gleefully ask with their hands clasped under their chins.

  “You’ll have to run the idea by your Uncle Jake.”

  The girls face each other and squeal simultaneously before running to Jake.

  Jake leans to the girls and then points to me. The two girls run back and scream, “Uncle Jake said it’s up to you, Liz.”

  I know how to play this game.

  I lean over. “Do you want to have a sleepover in the cabin or a campout in a tent?”

  “A campout!” the two shout.

  “We can have tin foil dinners and roast s’mores over the fire. Would you like that? Is that okay with your dad?”

  I turn my head toward Doug. “Will your girls be okay with a fire, a tent, and being outside through the night?”

  I’m hoping to receive some assurance his girls will be all right so we don’t have to take them home in the middle of the night. He nods that it will be all right and they beam with delight.

  “Maybe you can go swimming in the lake before dinner,” I suggest. “You swim, right?” I ask them and both bob their heads up and down.

  “But, we didn’t bring our swimsuits,” Emily says, disappointed.

  “Just jump in with your clothes on. You’re already dirty,” I say.

  They shriek, “This is the best day ever! Mom would never let us do that!”

  The two bolt off to announce the plan for the rest of the day to Jake and Ashley.

  “Jennifer is going to kill me, isn’t she?” I ask Doug with my eyes bulging.

  “She’ll be fine. Besides, I haven’t swum in the lake myself in a long time.” Doug looks over to the lake. “The water is still probably pretty warm this time of the year.”

  “Make Jake pull out the ATV for the girls after you go swimming,” I suggest. “I’ll put Maddy down for a nap and bring her outside when she wakes.”

  I take the toddler into my arms. She nuzzles her face on my shoulder and rubs her tired eyes as I walk toward the cabin. The little girl does not fight her exhaustion. I sit down with her in the rocking chair on the porch until she is sound asleep. I take her inside the cabin and I lay her in the middle of Jake’s bed. A quilt is placed over the top to keep her warm during her dream-like state. Zeke has followed me into the room, so I scoot him out, closing the door all but a sliver.

  I take a stack of beach towels from the closet to deliver to the dock area so the girls can dry off or have something to lie on once they finish swimming. When I walk along the wood planks, I see the sun glistening on the water as three girls and two grown boys bob in and out of the water, splashing each other. Jake and Doug are taking one girl at a time in their hands to catapult into the air. Each girl screams with glee before splashing into the water.

  “It’s my turn! I’m next!” Emily reaches her hand to the sky to get their attention.

  Ashley spots me as I am walking away. “Liz, come swim with us.”

  “Normally I would, but I don’t want Maddy to wake and fall off the bed where I set her down for a nap.”

  I turn on my heel to return to the cabin. I wash, cut, and dice the vegetables and meat. I place it in tin foil that will later be placed in the fire to be cooked. I place the marshmallows, graham crackers, and chocolate bars in a tote for the s
’mores. I add extra marshmallows in case the girls just want to roast marshmallows and not eat s’mores.

  Maddy is still napping when I spy three girls shivering and sopping wet walk toward the cabin. I run with towels in my hand to meet them on the porch.

  “Oh, girls, you look so cold! Let’s get you out of those wet clothes.”

  “Uncle Jake and Daddy can’t see us naked,” Hailey whispers.

  “You’re right. I’ll show you a trick with your towel and they’ll never know.”

  I have one girl hold an oversized beach towel as a shield as I help each girl step out of their wet clothes. I instruct Ashley to use Jake’s bathroom to take a warm bath. I have the other two, Emily and Hailey, go upstairs to the loft to bathe. I rush to the washing machine to toss in their clothes.

  The water is filling in both tubs. Maddy is soon at my feet, reaching her arms for me to hold her. I pick her up and she is rubbing the sleepiness out of her eyes. I am surprised she was able to slide down the raised log post bed on her own.

  I holler to the girls in the loft, “Are you two doing all right? Do you need my help washing the lake water out of your hair?” I ask.

  “No, we’re fine. We can wash our own hair.” I hear their girly giggles echo from the top of the stairs. “This tub is fun!”

  I walk down the stairs with Maddy’s legs wrapped around my waist. I rap the back of my knuckles on Jake’s bathroom door. “Ashley, are you doing okay?”

  “Yes. I’m fine.”

  “Do you have enough shampoo so you can wash the lake water out of your long hair?”

  “Yes,” she hollers.

  I return to the upstairs loft to hear the bathtub jets turned on high. The girls are laughing, having a great time. When I look, they are nowhere to be seen in the sea of bubbles they have created. I know they are still in the tub from the sounds they make in the bubbles.

  “My mom would never let us do this in her tub,” Emily snorts as she puts a bubbly beard upon her sister’s chin.

  “Okay, another thing you can’t tell your mom. Just don’t let the water splash out of the tub and be careful.” I try to scold them, but my voice isn’t very brash.