MB07 - Three Little Words

by Joan Jonker

  When Rosie carried the tray in, followed by Tommy with the teapot, they all sat at the table. Molly was the first to reach for a piece of cake, and she closed her eyes. ‘This is bliss, Ma. Yer haven’t lost yer touch.’

  ‘Yer never do, me darlin’,’ Bridie told her. ‘Once yer’ve learned, yer never forget. And now, tell us how the babies are.’

  ‘Both doing well, Ma. Bobby is getting to be quite heavy now, and he’s all there. He knows who’s who, and he points to things in the room now. Doreen’s trying to get him into a routine at bedtime. She’s putting him to bed at seven o’clock every night, to get him used to it. And last night he slept through, until six this morning.’

  ‘She’s wise to do that, so she is,’ Bridie said, nodding in agreement. ‘A baby soon learns when his life is run on an even keel, and he’ll be more happy and contented.’ She pointed to the plate. ‘Have another piece, me darlin’. Sure I can easily make another tomorrow.’

  ‘I won’t say no, ’cos it’s delicious. It’s a good job Nellie’s not with me. She’d scoff the lot and think nothing of it.’ Molly swallowed the piece of cake in her mouth before going on. ‘But we’ll leave me mate for another time. Yer want to know about Jill and the baby. Because Molly is so small, Jill is afraid of hurting her and takes ages to bathe and feed her, so she hasn’t really had time to get into a routine. But the baby is beautiful, just like a little doll. And with the first one, it does take a long time to get yerself organised, feeding and washing the baby, and trying to make dinners and keep the place tidy. I wasn’t a bit organised when Jill was born. I always felt I needed another pair of hands. But she’ll sort herself out in time, and I’m happy because she’s with Lizzie, and not on her own all day.’

  With the three women talking about babies, the men looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders. ‘Are yer going to see Liverpool play on Saturday, Dad?’ Tommy asked. ‘They’re playing at home, and it should be a good match. Any chance of you coming, Granda?’

  ‘No. I couldn’t stand for so long, but there’s nothing to stop you and yer dad going.’

  ‘Yes, I’ll go, son. I haven’t been for a couple of weeks. That’s if the wives have no objection.’

  But the women were so rapt in baby talk they didn’t hear. So Jack winked at his son. ‘We could say we asked them but they mustn’t have heard us. We’ll both stick to the same story.’

  Chapter Six

  ‘Don’t forget Claire’s coming this afternoon, sunshine, so we’ve no time to mess around.’ Molly looked down into Nellie’s face. ‘D’yer think it would be better if we take this shopping home, then come out again?’

  ‘What would we need to come out again for, girl? We’ve got all the shopping we want.’ Nellie moved the basket to her other arm. ‘These potatoes are not half heavy, so don’t hang about, let’s go home.’

  ‘Claire’s coming straight from work, sunshine, so she’ll be starving. I’ll have to have a sandwich ready for her. I thought ham sandwiches and a cream cake. D’yer think that’s enough?’

  ‘Ooh, I think so, girl, she’s not going to expect more than that. Are yer thinking of making a sandwich for us as well?’ Nellie forgot her aching arm when food was mentioned. ‘I mean, like, girl, she would feel dead embarrassed if we sat there watching her eating. We’d have to have something ourselves, or she’d feel like a monkey in the zoo with everyone gawping at her.’

  Molly nodded. ‘I wouldn’t say no to a sandwich and a cream cake meself, anyway. And I could put a fancy doily on each plate to make them look a bit more posh. D’yer think that would be all right?’

  ‘I’d say putting a doily on the plates is a good idea of yours, girl. It shows we know what eticit is.’

  Molly sighed. How many times was she going to have to tell her? ‘Nellie, the word is etiquette, not eticit. Try and remember, eh?’

  ‘I don’t know why yer keep telling me that, girl, ’cos I’ll never get me tongue round saying it the way you do. Anyway, nine out of ten people won’t know what I’m talking about no matter how I say it. They’re not all clever bleeding clogs, like what you are.’

  ‘Okay, sunshine, we’ll discuss that when we’ve got more time. Let’s take this shopping home and come straight out again. Then we’ll split up, one go for the boiled ham and the other for the cakes. Do those arrangements meet with your approval?’

  Nellie’s eyes narrowed. ‘Are yer being sarky, girl?’

  ‘Of course I’m not being sarky,’ Molly said. ‘I’ve got more to do than play silly beggars. So when we come out again, do you want to go for the ham or the cakes?’

  Nellie didn’t need to give that much thought, but being crafty she didn’t want to appear too eager. ‘I’m not going for the ham, girl, ’cos the last time I got some for yer, yer had a face like thunder, and yer said there was more fat than ham. So, if it’s all the same to you, I’ll let you get the ham and I’ll get the cakes.’

  Molly looked doubtful. ‘I don’t think I could trust yer to get the cakes, ’cos I can still remember when yer went for some when I was having visitors, one time, and yer’d run yer finger all along the side of the cream slices and licked all the cream out.’

  ‘Yer’ve got a ruddy good memory, girl, I’ll say that for yer. Ye’re talking about something what happened a couple of years ago! Don’t tell me ye’re going to harp on that again?’

  ‘I’m not harping, I just don’t want to open the bag and bring out cakes what yer’ve squashed on purpose so the cream would ooze out and yer could lick it. I’d die of humiliation, sunshine, so if yer go for the cakes yer’ve got to swear on yer heart that yer won’t finger them before yer get home.’

  ‘Molly, if yer don’t trust me, go for the bleeding cakes yerself!’

  ‘No, your promise is good enough for me, sunshine. Besides, the cake shop is nearer than Irwins, so it isn’t so far for yer to walk. And now that has been sorted out to both our satisfaction, let’s get home with this lot.’

  It wasn’t a quick walk home, for Nellie insisted on linking Molly, and as she swayed from side to side Molly was pushed against the brickwork and sills of the houses they passed. She thought about asking Nellie to swap sides, but knew it would be a waste of time, because she’d only end up walking in the gutter. She was glad when they stopped outside her door, and pleased all the heavy shopping had been done. ‘Just put yer shopping in the house and come straight back, Nellie, so I’ll have a bit of time to make the place presentable for Claire coming.’

  Nellie nodded and walked away, and as Molly put the key in the lock she could hear her mate muttering, ‘She’s a fussy cow. Anyone would think she was expecting a visit from the Queen.’

  ‘What did yer say, Nellie? I didn’t quite catch it.’

  ‘I said the meat we got off Tony was the leanest I’ve ever seen.’

  Molly chuckled as she walked through to the kitchen. You could lay money down that Nellie would have an answer for anything you came up with. Still grinning, Molly placed the basket on the draining board and began to put the groceries away. She didn’t bother taking her coat off because Nellie would be coming any minute. And if she saw her mate with her coat off, she’d plonk herself down and play the drama queen, pretending she couldn’t walk another step because she was dying of thirst. And there was no time to waste: this house was going to look like a new pin when Claire came. Molly wasn’t a snob, she told herself, putting the potatoes and vegetables in the pantry, but she did have her pride.

  ‘I’m here, girl. Are yer coming?’

  ‘Okay, sunshine, I’m on me way. Just give me a minute to make sure I’ve got enough money on me.’

  Ten minutes after walking up the street, the two friends were walking down, but this time they were minus the baskets. ‘If yer insist on linking arms with me, sunshine, will yer try and stop yer hips from banging into me,’ Molly said, fighting against the odds to make Nellie walk in a straight line. ‘Then I won’t be having to explain to Jack why I’ve got ruddy big bruises
on me thighs.’

  Nellie tilted her head. ‘Ay, girl, we’ve only been out of the bleeding house one minute, and already ye’re moaning.’ She pulled Molly to a halt. ‘How would Jack see any bruises on yer thighs? Yer don’t wear yer skirts up to yer backside, so how could he see them?’ A sly look in her eyes, she said, ‘Yer must lift yer clothes up and show him, yer brazen hussy.’

  Molly had to do some quick thinking. ‘He doesn’t see them, sunshine, I never said he did. What he does see is the way I grimace when I get into bed.’ That should give me mate something to think about, she thought. ‘And I don’t grimace on purpose. I can’t help it, ’cos it can be very painful lying on a big bruise.’

  ‘Oh, I’m sure it is, girl, although I can’t speak from experience. Yer see, being so fat comes in handy sometimes, ’cos no knocks can get through to the bone.’ They walked on in silence for a while, then, as Molly expected, Nellie pulled her to a halt. ‘What did yer say Jack sees when he gets into bed?’

  ‘I said he sees a look of pain on me face.’

  ‘Yer never said no such thing, girl, yer said he grinned. And I don’t think that’s a very nice thing for a husband to do. I’d clock my George if he did that.’

  ‘I did not say he grinned, Nellie. Fancy you saying that!’ Molly knew they weren’t going to be home early, the rate they were going. And she knew she’d brought it on herself, but she couldn’t help winding her friend up now and again. ‘My husband is very solicitous when he thinks I’m not well.’

  ‘Bloody hell, girl! When your Jack’s reading the Echo every night, do yer sit at the table with the ruddy dictionary in front of yer? Yer must do, ’cos ye’re the only one I know what comes out with foreign words. And for spite, and to teach yer a lesson, I’m not moving from here until yer tell me what Jack sees on yer face, and what he does when he thinks ye’re not well. So go on, clever clogs, or yer’ll have me thinking yer make words up just to confuse me and make me look daft.’

  ‘Oh, I don’t think ye’re daft, sunshine, not by a long chalk. Yer can knock spots off me at most things.’ Molly pinched a chubby, rosy cheek. ‘Let’s move, and I’ll tell yer while we’re walking. I don’t want to be out very long. Now, first, what Jack sees on me face is a grimace. And that means I pull a face ’cos the bruise hurts. And when I said Jack is solicitous, it means he worries about me, and is concerned. Fusses over me, yer know, like, runs round after me, putting cushions or pillows behind me back.’

  ‘D’yer know what, girl, if yer’d said it like that to begin with, we’d be on our way back from the shops, not on our way to them. And all this on account of bruises what we both know bleeding well yer don’t have. I’ve got too much padding on me hips to cause yer any bruises, so don’t come that with me.’

  They turned into the main road, and Molly said, ‘Yer basket hasn’t got any padding, and neither has the walls yer push me into. But I’ll put the white flag up for now, sunshine, and give in to yer.’

  Nellie had a smug smile on her face. ‘I knew yer’d give in, girl ’cos yer always do. I know yer wind me up; I’m not soft, yer know. I’ve known all along that yer’ve made up those big words yer come out with in yer head, and yer only do it to get me going. I mean, as though there’d be such a word as solicitous.’

  Molly pulled them to a halt and faced her friend. ‘How come yer can say that one perfectly, when yer asked me what it means a few minutes ago, and have just said there’s no such word?’

  In the butcher’s shop opposite, Tony said to Ellen, ‘There’s yer mates over the road, and it looks as though they’re having an argument over something.’

  ‘They won’t really be having an argument, they never do. They’ll go on like that for a few minutes, then they’ll carry on walking arm in arm.’ Ellen handed some change over to the customer she’d served. ‘Thanks, Mrs Brocklehurst. We’ll see you tomorrow, I suppose. And I’m going to have a dekko at me friends, see what they’re up to.’

  ‘I’m in no hurry,’ the elderly lady said, ‘so I may as well watch the antics of Molly and Nellie. It’s one way of passing the time away, save going back to an empty house.’

  And Tony’s two customers, after they’d paid him, decided that Mrs Brocklehurst’s idea was a good one. She might be a complete stranger to them, but there’s nothing wrong with a stranger having a good idea. So they stood looking out of the window with her, while Tony and Ellen hoped they wouldn’t have any more customers for a few minutes so they too could watch the couple on the opposite side of the road.

  Meanwhile, oblivious of the fact they had an audience, the friends faced each other. ‘What word was that, girl?’

  ‘Don’t start that, Nellie, yer know we’re pushed for time.’ Molly was wagging a finger. ‘Now yer know damn well what word I mean, and we’re not moving until yer say it again.’

  From his vantage point opposite, Tony was giving a running commentary. ‘Ooh, it looks as though Molly’s got her dander up, wagging her finger as though she’s telling Nellie off about something or other.’

  Ellen chuckled. ‘There’s something up, ’cos Nellie’s got her hands on her hips.’

  On the pavement opposite, Nellie was doing contortions with her face, but howling with laughter inside. ‘I am trying to think, girl, but how can I when ye’re shouting and wagging yer finger? If yer keep quiet for a minute I’ll soon remember the word was sisitus.’ Her face beamed. ‘See, girl, I knew I’d get it when yer shut up.’

  ‘Listen to me, sunshine, I know ye’re having me on for a joke. Yer know exactly how to say the word and what it means.’

  ‘Cross my heart and hope to die, if this day I tell a lie.’ Nellie was never sure which side she should cross, whether her heart was on the left or the right. So she settled for making a quick cross in the middle. ‘I couldn’t say it proper again if yer paid me, girl; I surprised meself when it came out. But I do know it means yer husband putting pillows or cushions behind yer back to make yer comfortable. And yer can bet yer sweet life that I’ll be telling my feller that as soon as he comes in from work.’

  ‘Nellie’s crossed her heart, so that means she’s made a promise,’ Ellen said, leaning into the window as far as she could. ‘But she’ll have forgotten she’s made it by the time she gets to wherever they’re going, and Molly will pretend to get mad with her and they’ll go through the whole rigmarole again. Just watch, they’ll link arms in a minute, the best of friends until the next time they feel like livening things up a bit.’

  True enough, Molly held her arm out and Nellie linked it. ‘I’ll walk with yer to the next street, sunshine, then we’ll split up. I’ll go to Irwins for a quarter of boiled ham, and you go to Hanley’s for three cream cakes. It doesn’t matter if they don’t have any cream slices left, any cream cakes will do. But I’d like them all in one piece, Nellie, don’t forget.’

  Nellie pulled her arm free. ‘Hang on a minute, girl, let’s wave to Tony and Ellen.’

  ‘Why? Have they seen us?’ Molly did as her friend did, and waved. ‘They must have just noticed us.’

  Nellie looked up at her and rolled her eyes. ‘Tony and Ellen, and all their customers, have been watching us from the time we stopped here. Honest, girl, yer might be able to say grimace, and solicitous, but yer can be as thick as two short planks sometimes.’

  ‘I don’t mind yer saying that, sunshine, because at some time in their lives everyone can be as thick as two short planks. I bet Tony and Ellen do daft things now and again. Even Mrs Brocklehurst isn’t perfect.’

  Nellie’s eyes flew open. ‘Mrs Brocklehurst! What made yer bring her name into it? We hardly know the woman!’

  ‘We know her well enough to wave to her.’ Molly kept her face straight. ‘She waved back to us, as well. Didn’t yer see her?’

  ‘We haven’t seen Mrs Brocklehurst all week!’

  ‘Yes, we have, she’s in the butcher’s now! She was the one in front of the other ladies who were waving to us.’

  ‘Molly Bennett, if we w
eren’t on the main road, I’d clock yer one.’

  ‘Now, don’t be getting yer paddy up, sunshine. I’m going to part company from yer here. I’ll see yer back home, and don’t forget I want three cream cakes which are the same shape as they were when Mr Hanley put them on the tray. No squashed ones, none with finger marks on, and most definitely none that have had a certain person’s tongue licking the cream from the sides.’

  Molly watched her mate walk away, and smiled when she heard a muttering. ‘She’s a miserable cow. Wouldn’t give yer daylight.’

  ‘Did yer say something, Nellie?’

  ‘No, girl, I was just telling meself how nice the day is. You know, nice and bright.’

  Molly was in the kitchen humming to herself as she placed a doily on two of the plates on the wooden tray. ‘Yer look proper posh today,’ she told the plates. ‘In fact I’ve only ever seen yer looking this posh on Christmas Day.’ She started when she heard the window frame rattle. ‘Oh, my God, I’ll swing for her if she ever puts one of me windows out. I don’t know why she can’t use the knocker, like everybody else.’ She was still cursing her friend when she opened the door. ‘Haven’t yer ever wondered what that brass thing on me door is for, Nellie McDonough, the one …’ Molly’s words petered out as she bent down to look at her mate’s face, to make sure she wasn’t imagining the blob of white cream on the tip of Nellie’s nose, and traces of it in the corners of her mouth. And in her mind’s eye she could see her nice posh plates, with their white-assnow doilies, being covered by three squashed cakes with most of the cream missing. ‘Why you miserable article, Nellie McDonough, after crossing yer heart and hoping to die.’ She could see Nellie’s mouth moving but she was too angry to listen. ‘It’s very seldom I have a visitor, and yer knew I wanted everything to be just right. Now yer’ve gone and spoilt it for me.’ She reached down and carefully took the cake bag from her neighbour’s hand. ‘I’ll talk to yer tomorrow, ye’re not getting in here now.’