MB07 - Three Little Words

by Joan Jonker

  Chapter Eleven

  Nellie was very quiet as she sipped her tea in Molly’s on Friday morning. Usually she never stopped talking, even when her mouth was full. But there were no custard cream biscuits to fill her mouth today, for Molly had run out of them. Normally, the lack of a biscuit would have brought forth complaints, but even they were missing today. There was good reason for Nellie to be quiet and thoughtful, for she had a lot on her mind. Claire was due to visit this afternoon, but Molly hadn’t said a dickie-bird about it since Wednesday, when she said Claire was invited by Nellie, and would therefore expect to go to Nellie’s house. And looking round Molly’s sitting room now, all nice and tidy with furniture highly polished, Nellie was filled with despair. For her living room wasn’t a patch on it.

  Molly could read her friend like a book, and she had sensed right away that she had something on her mind. She guessed what it was too, but was waiting for her mate to speak up. When she thought the silence had gone on long enough, and not liking the idea of her friend’s being really upset, she asked, ‘Has the cat got yer tongue, sunshine? Yer’ve hardly said a word since yer’ve been here.’

  ‘It’s this bleeding visit, that’s what’s wrong with me.’ Nellie blurted it out. ‘I can’t have Claire coming to my house and that’s the top and bottom of it. Looking round your room now, I feel sick in me tummy. I’ve tried to make me living room respectable, honest I have. I put a clean duster over me brush head and went round all the picture rails and skirting boards with it. But I can’t get down on me knees and polish the table and chair legs, ’cos if I got down I’d never get up again. I miss our Lily, ’cos she used to do those jobs for me.’

  ‘I’m sure Claire wouldn’t get down on her hands and knees to check yer chair legs, sunshine. She won’t be going over yer room with a fine-tooth comb. And never be ashamed of yer house, Nellie, for though yer might not be as tidy as yer should be, yer house is far from being dirty.’

  Nellie wasn’t to be pacified. ‘Look round your room, girl, and then go and look at mine. The difference would hit yer in the face.’

  ‘Look, if worrying about it is going to make yer ill, then yer needn’t take Claire to your house. She can come here.’

  Nellie’s body slumped as she let out a huge sigh of relief. ‘Thank God for that! Why didn’t yer say so yesterday, girl? Then I could have got some sleep last night. It’s been worrying the life out of me, and George got a right cob on with me for tossing and turning in bed and keeping him awake.’

  ‘Have I ever let yer down, Nellie?’ Molly asked. ‘I know I’ve refused yer hundreds of times, but never once have I gone through with it. Yer always get yer own way in the end, even though I tell meself I’m a ruddy fool for giving in to yer. So Claire is welcome to come here this afternoon, but don’t be handing invitations out right left and centre in future, not without asking me first.’

  ‘No, I won’t, girl,’ Nellie told her, full of good intentions. ‘And ye’re a real smasher, the best mate anyone could have.’

  ‘Oh, ye’re not getting off that easy, sunshine, so don’t be thinking ye’re out of the woods yet. Claire can come here by all means. I’ll be glad to see her, I’ll make her very welcome and very comfortable, but I will not be feeding her. And I don’t care what excuse or stunt yer pull, the boiled ham and the cakes are being paid for out of your purse.’

  Nellie scratched her head and pulled faces as she wondered how far she should go, and how much she’d get away with. ‘D’yer think that’s fair, girl?’

  ‘Fair! It’s more than fair, yer cheeky article! Yer don’t really expect me to pay for the ham and cakes, do yer?’

  ‘Well, Claire will think yer have, won’t she?’ Nellie saw this as a great injustice. ‘It’s you what will get all the praise, while I sit here like a stuffed duck listening to her saying how kind it is of yer.’

  ‘Ooh, yer forget I know yer too well for that, Nellie McDonough. There’s not a snowball’s chance in hell of you letting Claire think I paid for the food. I’ll bet that every time she takes a bite, there’ll be a running commentary on how much it cost. I can see it in me mind now! You leaning towards her, saying, “The cream slices are nice, aren’t they, Claire? Tuppence each I paid for them.” She’ll hear that with every bite she takes, and be so embarrassed she’ll never want to come again.’

  Nellie, being crafty, soon found a way round this. ‘I won’t say nothing, girl, I promise. But you could say, off hand, like, that the sandwiches and cakes were my treat. If yer like, yer could even say yer had offered to buy them but I wouldn’t hear of it. Then Claire wouldn’t get it into her head that you were too tight to pay.’

  Molly shook her head slowly. ‘Nellie, yer never cease to amaze me. Not satisfied with getting yer own way, yer want me to lie for yer! And with all yer cunning and lies, yer still expect Saint Peter to let yer through the pearly gates to heaven.’ A smile hovered around her mouth. ‘Mind you, with your gift of the gab, I’ll bet he not only lets yer in, but makes sure yer get a seat on the front row.’

  ‘Well, he’d have to, wouldn’t he? I wouldn’t be able to manage if I didn’t have plenty of room in front of me.’

  ‘Nellie, I know I’m daft for asking, but why would yer want plenty of room?’

  ‘For me harp, of course, girl. What did yer think?’

  ‘Silly me. Fancy me not knowing that.’

  ‘You wouldn’t need to be in the front row, girl, ’cos yer haven’t got an ear for music. Not like what I have, anyway. I imagine you’ll probably get a flute, or a tin whistle.’

  ‘Just out of curiosity, sunshine, does a halo come with your harp?’

  ‘Of course it does, soft girl. How daft I’d look, playing me harp when I hadn’t been issued with a halo.’ Her chubby face screwed up, Nellie stroked her chin. ‘I think I’ll have to wait a while for me wings, though, ’cos they’ll have to make them special. That’s with me being a different size and shape to all the other angels, yer see.’

  ‘So I’ll be stuck at the back, will I, and not be able to talk to yer?’ While she was speaking, Molly was telling herself she didn’t know who was the daftest, her or Nellie. Still, it was better than having her mate sitting there not speaking and looking really down in the dumps. ‘Yer’ll miss me, yer know. Who are yer going to borrow off if yer forget to take yer purse with yer when yer go to the shops?’

  ‘There’s no shops in heaven, girl, everything is free. And yer won’t be stuck at the back, I’ll see to that. Wherever I go, you’ll be coming with me. We’ll sit on a nice, white, fluffy cloud, and wave to the aeroplanes as they go past. And yer won’t have to count how many cups of tea I’m drinking ’cos, as I said, everything is free in heaven.’

  ‘Well, I’ll say this for yer, sunshine. Fifteen minutes ago yer had a face on yer that would turn milk sour. And between then and now, yer’ve made friends with Saint Peter, talked him into giving yer a front seat in heaven, and learned to play the harp. Not bad going in a quarter of an hour, when yer consider yer did all this without the halo slipping off yer head. And yer’ve done it without uttering one swear word.’

  Nellie’s face creased, hiding her eyes. ‘Yeah, it’s not bad going, is it, girl? But I meant what I said. Me and Saint Peter will make sure yer get a good seat, and a halo what fits yer.’

  Molly’s chuckle was hearty. ‘I’ll look forward to all this, sunshine. It’ll give me something to fill in the time when I’m in bed before I drop off to sleep with a smile on me face. But first I’d like to ask a favour of yer.’

  Nellie lifted her bosom on to the table. ‘What is it, girl? I’ll do anything yer want, for being such a good mate and helping me out over Claire. You just name it, and I’ll do it.’

  ‘Well, I’d like yer to ask Saint Peter if he’d leave it for thirty or forty years. Yer see, sunshine, I’m quite happy down here now. I don’t feel like moving house, even if the new one did come with a halo.’

  ‘I’ll have a word with him tonight, girl, and tell h
im we’re not quite ready yet. But I will say we’re looking forward to making his acquaintance.’ Nellie thought that was a nice little touch, posh, like. ‘Best to keep on the right side of him, yer see, girl.’

  Molly reached for the cups. ‘Now our future lives are sorted out, hadn’t we better make tracks to sort today’s dinner out? I’ll leave these few dishes in the sink until we get back.’

  Nellie rushed to open the door when the knock came. Her face beaming, she stood aside to let Claire pass. ‘Hello, girl. It’s nice to see yer again.’

  ‘It’s nice to see you again. I’ve been looking forward to today.’ Claire waved a cake bag. ‘I’ve brought us a cake each. Cream slices, ’cos I know they’re yer favourite.’

  Nellie’s heart nearly burst. Oh, joy of joys, an extra cream slice. ‘Molly’s in the kitchen making the tea.’

  Claire went straight through to the kitchen and put the bag on the draining board. ‘It’s nice to see yer, Molly. I stopped at the cake shop, so I hope I’m not too late for yer.’

  ‘No, ye’re dead on time, sunshine, the kettle was boiling as yer knocked on the door.’ Molly nodded at the bag. ‘Yer shouldn’t have bothered, Claire, we’ve got the sandwiches and cakes ready.’

  ‘I can’t keep sponging off you and Nellie, and anyway, it’s only a couple of cakes.’

  Nellie was standing behind Claire, but she was too small to see over her shoulder so she popped her head round the side. She was making signs, pointing first to the laden tray, and then at Claire’s back. When there was no reaction, she took the bull by the horns. ‘Claire brought cakes with her, girl. Isn’t that kind of her?’

  Molly turned to the sink so Claire couldn’t see her grin. ‘Yes, it is very kind of her, sunshine. I’m doing really well for meself today, what with you treating us to ham sandwiches and cakes, and now Claire! It’s my lucky day.’

  Satisfied that their new friend knew of her generosity, Nellie pushed Molly aside and picked up the tray. She couldn’t stand there gabbing when her mouth was watering at the picture in her mind of lashings of cream oozing out of the cakes. ‘I’ll take this through, girl, while you carry the teapot.’

  Molly winked at Claire. ‘Yer better hurry up, sunshine, or Nellie will pinch the cake with the most cream in.’

  ‘Got a sweet tooth, have yer, Nellie?’ Claire pulled out a chair and sat down. ‘I’m rather partial meself, I must say. When I was a kid, my father used to bring me sweets in every night. On his way home from work, he’d call in to the sweet shop for his baccy and a ha’p’orth of sweets for me. My mam used to tell him off for spoiling me.’

  ‘I enjoy a cake,’ Molly said as she poured the tea out. ‘But I don’t drool over them like Nellie does. We’ve only got to pass Hanley’s and her mouth waters. I’m glad I’m not that bad ’cos I couldn’t afford them every day.’

  Nellie got on her high horse. ‘I don’t have a cake every day, girl, only when we go in Hanley’s and I see them in the case. Then I can’t resist them.’

  ‘And how often do yer get fresh bread, Nellie?’

  ‘Every day, yer know that. My feller won’t eat stale bread. He said he’d rather starve.’

  ‘And where do yer always buy yer bread from?’

  ‘That’s a daft question to ask when ye’re with me every day when we go to Hanley’s.’

  ‘Which means, that, apart from Sunday, yer have a cream cake every day. Am I right, Nellie, or am I wrong? And before yer answer, remember Saint Peter and your speck on the front row.’

  ‘Oh, aye,’ Claire said, her face even more beautiful when she smiled. ‘What’s all this about Saint Peter?’

  Nellie glared at her mate before answering. ‘Take no notice of her, Claire, she’s being sarky. I keep telling her it doesn’t suit her, she hasn’t got the face for it, but she doesn’t take no notice of me. She’ll never get to heaven when she dies, will Molly Bennett. She forgets Saint Peter can hear everything she says, and he keeps a note of it. That’s why I keep me nose clean and watch what I say. I’m pretty sure of a place in heaven, but I have grave doubts about me mate.’

  ‘Don’t speak with yer mouth full of bread, sunshine, it’s not very ladylike. And why don’t yer give Claire a laugh and tell her about the front row, the harp and halo? Oh, and don’t forget my flute.’

  In between the laughter, the sandwiches and cakes Nellie had bought were eaten. And not once did she brag about having paid for them. That was because she liked to hear people laughing, and Claire and Molly were in stitches. ‘D’yer think you’ll get into heaven, Claire?’

  ‘I would like to think so, Nellie, but who knows what’s going to happen to them when they die? I have always believed, from being very young, that when yer die yer go to heaven and meet all yer family again. That’s still what I like to believe, for I want to see my husband again, and me mam and dad. Not everyone believes the same, but it suits me because that’s what I’m hoping for.’

  ‘You and I think alike, sunshine,’ Molly said, ‘and I’ll keep on thinking that because, like you, it’s what I want to happen.’

  ‘Yer’ve never told me that, girl.’ Nellie was peeved. ‘In all these years we’ve been mates, yer’ve never once told me about that.’

  ‘I could say the same to you, sunshine! All the years we’ve known each other, yer’ve never once mentioned Saint Peter was a friend of yours.’ Molly took a bout of laughing which brought tears to her eyes. She gulped, and took a deep breath before saying, ‘Talk about having friends in high places, well, they don’t come any higher than heaven.’

  Nellie’s tummy lifted the table, then her bosom pushed it down again. ‘Oh, that’s a good one, that, girl. Yer deserve a treat for that little gem. So shall I bring in the cakes what Claire brought?’

  ‘I wondered how long yer could last out, sunshine. It must have been agony for yer, knowing they were so near.’

  Nellie nodded. ‘Worse than agony, girl, it’s been torture. And if I had to wait for you to offer, I’d have been waiting all day.’

  ‘Go and get them, Nellie,’ Claire said. ‘I can’t bear to see a woman suffering.’ She fell back in her chair, her eyes wide with surprise when she suddenly realised she was talking to an empty chair. Nellie had moved like lightning, there one second, gone the next. ‘My God, she can certainly move, Molly. I didn’t even see her leave her chair.’

  ‘Yer should thank yer lucky stars she didn’t push the table over! My mate would walk a million miles for one cream slice. She’d slay dragons and choke crocodiles on the way, if need be. Nothing, or no one, would keep her from that cake.’

  Nellie walked in carrying the cake bag in one hand, and a half-eaten cake in the other. There was cream round her mouth and on the tip of her nose. And on her face there was a look of indescribable bliss. ‘I’ll have to have a word with Saint Peter, girl, and tell him to have a stock of these cakes in for when we get there. Otherwise I might be forced to consider what other options are open to me.’ She placed the bag on the table. ‘Help yerselves, girls, before I scoff the lot.’

  Molly quickly reached for the bag. ‘Not on your sweet life, sunshine. Don’t even think about it.’ She tore the bag open and offered it to Claire. ‘Take one while the going is good, ’cos yer’ve seen how quick my mate can move. She wouldn’t think twice about snatching it out of yer hand, and I should know.’

  Nellie’s tongue was out, licking the cream from round her mouth. ‘Take no notice of what Molly says, girl, ’cos I’m not that bad. The only time I would pinch a cake off yer is if yer took a long time to eat it, taunting me, like.’

  ‘Oh, I wouldn’t taunt yer, Nellie. I’m not cruel. But as I told yer, I have a very sweet tooth as well, so don’t expect me to share with yer.’

  Molly didn’t even look at her mate while she was eating, for she knew there’d be a look of longing on the chubby face, and that would take the pleasure out of the fresh cream and soft sticky icing. So she kept her eyes averted until the only thing left in her hand was
the white crinkly paper. ‘I enjoyed that, Claire, and I think another cup of tea is called for. I’ll boil some water for a fresh pot.’

  As she leaned against the sink waiting for the kettle to boil, Molly heard Nellie asking, ‘Ay, Claire, how are yer getting on with that feller yer told us about? The one what comes in every week?’

  ‘Hang on a minute, Claire, wait for me.’ Molly lowered the light under the kettle and hurried through to the living room. ‘You can either do without another cup of tea, or keep quiet until I come back with a fresh pot. It’s up to you, but I’m not missing out on any news.’

  ‘Make the tea, Molly,’ Claire said. ‘We’ll wait for yer.’

  ‘But don’t take too long, slow coach,’ Nellie called as her mate headed for the kitchen again. ‘We haven’t got all day.’

  ‘Yer can get off yer backside, sunshine, and rinse the cups for me.’ As Molly spoke, she would have bet any money that Nellie would be pulling faces. Her mate wasn’t exactly keen on work of any description, and even rinsing cups was work. ‘Come on, or the afternoon will be gone.’

  ‘I’ll help,’ Claire said. ‘Save Nellie moving.’

  ‘Ah, that’s nice of yer, girl, but if I let yer do that, I’d never hear the end of it off my best mate. I’d get a lesson in how to be a good hostess, and I’d rather clean the house from top to bottom than get one of Molly’s lectures.’

  ‘You cheeky article!’ Molly carried the tray through. ‘Yer deliberately kept on talking so I’d have the tea made. It’s to be hoped they have servants in heaven, ’cos they’ll never get you off yer backside.’

  ‘It doesn’t get dirty in heaven, girl, surely yer must know that? How can it get dirty when it’s up in the sky where there’s no smoking chimneys and no soot?’

  ‘D’yer think yer could find the strength to pour the tea out, Nellie? I don’t think that would tire yer out. Yer know I take one sugar, and so does Claire.’

  ‘Ye’re getting sarky again, girl, and what have I said? It just doesn’t become yer. Me now, I can get away with it, but not you.’