MB07 - Three Little Words

by Joan Jonker

  ‘But yer don’t really know that, do yer, Molly?’

  ‘Not for sure, Sally – that’s why me and Nellie are looking for proof. And although we started off to find out about him on account of our friend getting involved with him, we’d like to stop him from hurting other people too. I’d bet a pound to a pinch of snuff that he’s up to no good. If he had a thriving business in the city centre, why would he be going round knocking on doors? And another thing I’ve noticed: this leaflet doesn’t have his name on, or any address. So if anyone discovered they’d been swindled, there’d be no way of finding him.’ Molly sat back and sighed. ‘He’s a rogue, Sally. That’s how he can afford his fine clothes, and is able to take women to the theatre and buy them boxes of chocolates. He’s a charmer, a sweet talker, who preys on people. He’ll have a smile on his face while he’s robbing yer.’

  Sally picked the leaflet off the table. ‘I never noticed there was no name and address. And I don’t suppose anyone else has noticed, either! He’s a crafty beggar.’ She was thoughtful for a while, for the omission of name and address had added weight to the story she’d been told. Besides, she liked the two women. They weren’t stupid, especially Molly, and they wouldn’t be wasting their time if they didn’t think they were right. ‘If I can help in any way, queen, then count me in. I’ll give it a bash.’

  There was a crafty look on Nellie’s face. ‘It’s no good waiting until he’s been and the people have been taken in by him. That’s like closing the stable door after the horse has bolted. It’ll be far too late; he’ll have scarpered … done a vanishing act. But besides all that, if the people don’t know the value of what they’re selling to him, how the heck will they know he’s pulled a fast one on them?’

  ‘If yer have any bright ideas, sunshine,’ Molly said, ‘and I’m sure yer have, then now is the time to share them with us.’

  ‘Well, the best way would be to get a couple of things valued before he comes.’ Nellie turned to Sally. ‘How well d’yer know the woman what lives in the first house?’

  ‘I’m friendly with everyone in the street, queen, ’cos we’ve all lived here donkey’s years. Why do you ask?’

  ‘Is she an easy-going woman, like yerself? I mean, would she listen to what we’ve got to say without thinking we were crazy? Or would she tell us to sod off?’

  ‘Oh, she’s a friendly woman, is Gertie. She’s like yerself – enjoys a good laugh.’

  Molly butted in. ‘Before yer go any further, don’t yer think it would be far better if she was just told that we’d heard he was a trickster? There’s no need to tell anyone about our friend, or how we came to follow him. It would only make things more complicated and drawn out.’

  Sally nodded. ‘I agree it would be much simpler and wouldn’t take so long. But what I’d like to know is, how would we go about getting an item valued before he comes next Tuesday?’

  ‘That wouldn’t be hard, girl,’ Nellie said. ‘I know someone who would help us.’

  Molly’s raised brows showed her surprise. ‘Who do you know? We’re together everywhere we go, and I certainly don’t know anyone who could do it.’

  ‘Yes, yer do, girl, it’s just that yer’ve forgotten yer know him.’

  ‘That remark is as clear as mud, sunshine, so spell it out for us. Who do we know who is clever enough to value a picture?’

  ‘If yer cast yer mind back twenty years, girl, yer’ll remember we had to go to a pawn shop on several occasions. It was either that or starve to death. Don’t yer remember the shop on Scotland Road with the three brass balls hanging outside? Or don’t yer want to remember?’

  Molly’s mouth gaped. ‘I do remember, and I’m not afraid to say so ’cos I’m not a snob. But, Nellie, that was years and years ago! The bloke that we knew won’t still be there. He’ll have retired ages ago.’

  ‘The shop is still there, girl. We pass it when we go to the market, or into town. It wouldn’t matter whether we know the man behind the counter or not, we can always ask whoever’s in charge if they’ll do us a favour.’

  ‘But a pawn shop wouldn’t be able to value anything,’ Sally said. ‘They don’t sell things, they only lend yer money on anything yer pawn, and they charge interest on the money they give yer until yer redeem the item.’

  ‘I know all that, girl, ’cos me and Molly were glad of the pawn shop many a time. And I know they don’t lend a fraction of the true value of the item. They wouldn’t be in business long if they did. But I bet they know exactly what the real worth is, because if it isn’t redeemed by a certain date they have to sell it. And they’re not in the business of losing money.’

  ‘I don’t know how yer think that would help,’ Molly said. ‘There’d be no point in asking one of the women to pawn something, they still wouldn’t find out its true worth.’

  ‘Gertie wouldn’t pawn anything,’ Sally said, nodding her head knowingly. ‘She’s always saying, “Out of debt, out of danger.” And like Molly, I can’t see how a pawn shop would help.’

  ‘The pawn shop wouldn’t, soft girl.’ Nellie was getting flustered because the other two weren’t keeping up with her. ‘It’s the man behind the ruddy counter what could help. They know exactly how much every item under the sun is worth, and I’ll put money on them being right any day.’

  ‘Oh, yeah.’ Molly huffed. ‘D’yer think anyone could walk in and ask them to value something for them without being charged?’

  ‘I would,’ the little woman said, ‘and I bet I’d get them to do it, as well.’

  ‘Yer wouldn’t, sunshine, ’cos we all know that pawn shops are after every ha’penny they can lay their hands on. They won’t do yer any favours.’

  Nellie shook her head and clicked her tongue. ‘After all the tricks I’ve pulled over the years, and the scrapes I’ve got us out of, yer haven’t got any faith in me. Shame on yer, Molly Bennett, when ye’re supposed to be me mate.’

  ‘This is a bit different to haggling with a stallholder at the market, sunshine. Pawnbrokers are noted for having no hearts. They don’t do favours.’

  ‘I’ll show yer whether I can do it or not, even if I have to take one of the pictures off me own ruddy wall. I’ll do it if it kills me, for spite.’

  Sally grinned. ‘I believe yer would, queen, and I bet yer’d get away with it.’

  ‘Well I’m glad someone has faith in me. It’s coming to something when yer own mate lets yer down.’

  ‘Oh, I’ve every confidence in yer, sunshine. I’ve never doubted for a second that yer could do it. But I do doubt whether the man in the pawn shop will be so bountiful as to do it for yer as a favour. Even yer voluptuous body what every man craves after wouldn’t be enough to melt the heart of a pawnbroker.’

  But Nellie had an ace up her sleeve, which she now produced. Lifting the leaflet from the table, she waved it in the faces of the two women. ‘This will help me pull it off. With a few little lies thrown in, like. I’ll show it to the man behind the counter and tell him there’s a bloke putting them through every letterbox in all the surrounding streets, flooding the area with them. Now he won’t like that one little bit because it could take all his business away. They rely on local people to make a living. And to make him more interested, and worried, I’ll say I know lots of the local women are searching their houses for stuff to sell to the bloke. Attics and cellars are being cleared out.’

  Molly and Sally were silent as their minds digested what they’d heard. But Nellie wanted to get it all out while the plan was still fresh in her mind. ‘I’ll say I wasn’t being taken in by this bloke, not like the other women. He came across to me as not being genuine, and I think he’s out to fiddle people.’

  There still wasn’t a sound came from the two women listening intently, so Nellie took a deep breath and carried on. ‘He’ll be more than interested by then, knowing he could well lose a lot of regular customers. And that’s when I’ll tell him how I think the bloke could be stopped from robbing people if he will help me. I’ll let
him think I’m more interested in helping the poor than in putting a halt to Graham Collins’s gallop.’

  ‘D’yer know,’ Sally said, looking at Molly, ‘I think she might get away with it.’

  However, Molly was too busy looking at her mate to answer right away. ‘Have you been going to night school to brush up on your English grammar, sunshine? Have yer been keeping a secret from me? For you’ve been talking non stop for the last fifteen minutes, and there wasn’t a word out of place, and no swearing. Full marks to yer, Nellie, yer can go to the top of the class.’

  ‘Thanks, girl.’ Nellie’s face creased with happiness at the praise, and her bust also showed its pleasure by standing to attention. ‘I can be serious when I put me mind to it.’

  ‘So it seems, sunshine, but don’t be serious too often or I’d miss the laughs we have.’

  ‘Oh, yer won’t be short of laughs, girl, not when we put paid to the shenanigans of the lying Mr Collins. This time next week, please God, he won’t know what’s hit him.’

  ‘Well, it’s fingers crossed, sunshine, while we wait to see what happens.’

  ‘I think Nellie could pull it off, Molly,’ Sally said. ‘She’s talked me into it, so I’m sure she’ll talk the pawnbroker round.’

  ‘Oh, she’ll talk him round all right.’ Molly laughed. ‘He’d give in to her just to shut her up. But to do that, she needs something to take in to have valued. I don’t have anything for her to take; most of my stuff would only bring coppers. Besides, having one thing valued wouldn’t really help. It would take a few items to prove whether Mr Collins is genuine or not.’

  ‘I’ve got an idea,’ Sally told them, ‘but if yer don’t like the sound of it, just say so. I don’t get upset easily.’

  ‘Spit it out, girl, every little helps.’

  ‘Well, how about if I get three women involved? All I need to say is I’ve heard the bloke isn’t genuine, and will they help us find out. I know three women who’d jump at the chance, just for the excitement. And they all live in the right houses for what we want. There’s Mrs Seddon in the first house, her next-door neighbour, and the woman next door but one. All sensible women around the same age as ourselves.’

  Nellie’s legs were swinging like mad under the chair. This was going to be a good case for the McDonough and Bennett Private Detective Agency. And they’d win it too, if she had anything to do with it. ‘That would be marvellous, Sally! Yer’ve come up with a great idea.’

  ‘Would it be possible for the two of yer to come down one day and meet the three women?’ Sally raised her brows questioningly. ‘It’s too late to do it now – there wouldn’t be enough time to go over it properly. And I don’t know whether they’d be at home now. How about tomorrow? Have yer got an hour to spare?’

  Molly glanced at Nellie. ‘We’ve got nothing important on, have we, sunshine?’

  ‘Nothing that I can think of, girl.’ Nellie gave one of her creased-up-face smiles. ‘I didn’t notice anything in me diary when I looked this morning. Nothing so important that my secretary can’t cancel.’

  ‘Could we make it about eleven o’clock, Sally? That’s the best time for me and Nellie. It would give us time to get our shopping in.’

  Sally nodded. ‘I’ll do my best to have the three of them here.’ She had an idea. ‘Shall I ask if they’ll bring with them any one article they’ve earmarked to sell to this bloke?’

  Molly didn’t want to steal Nellie’s limelight, seeing as it was her idea. ‘That’s up to me mate. She’s the one who thought it up, and the only one with the guts to carry it out.’

  ‘Ooh, I can’t wait,’ Sally said. ‘Yer’ve brought a bit of excitement into me life. One day is just like any other day, usually, with not very much happening. Luck was on my side when it sent me to the shops at the time you two were standing on the corner. Think what I would have missed if I’d gone out five minutes earlier or later. Today would have been as dull as any other day.’

  ‘Ah, it’s nice of yer to say that, Sally. Don’t yer think so, girl?’

  Molly chuckled. ‘I just hope she doesn’t live to regret her stroke of luck.’ She winked across the table at Sally. ‘There’s never a dull moment with Nellie. She’s always up to something, and that something is mischief. Under different circumstances, I would have some pity for the man in the pawnshop when Nellie walks through his door. But seeing her mission is of interest to us all, instead of feeling sorry for him, I’ll wish them both luck. May they get on like a house on fire.’ She pushed her chair back and got to her feet. ‘Come on, sunshine, we’ve got work to do, and a dinner to get ready for the family. But thanks for having us, Sally. It was good of yer to take two strangers in like yer did.’

  ‘It’s me who should be thanking you! I’ve really enjoyed being in yer company, and yer’ve brightened me day. I’ll look forward to seeing yer both tomorrow, eleven o’clock.’ Sally followed them to the door and stood on the step to wave them off. ‘Take care now and, Nellie, make sure no men get their hands on that voluptuous body of yours.’

  Nellie was grinning when she turned round. ‘Ay, Sally, I didn’t have time to tell yer about my George, and what he gets up to at night.’

  Molly took her by the scruff of the neck and started to push her up the street. ‘One thing at a time, sunshine. Just stick to the job in hand and forget yer’ve got a bedroom in your house.’

  Sally was on the top step shaking with laughter as she watched Nellie trying to turn her head to say, ‘Ah, ay, Molly, ye’re choking me! And anyway, yer wouldn’t be saying that if yer had as much fun in your bedroom as me and George have in ours.’

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  There was a warm smile of welcome on Sally’s face when she opened the door to Molly and Nellie the next day. ‘Come on in, we’ve all been waiting patiently for yer.’ And with a grand backward sweep of her hand, she invited them in.

  When the friends entered the living room, it was to see three of Sally’s neighbours seated on the wooden dining chairs at the table. And there was a smile on each face as they were introduced. ‘This is Gertie from number two, Harriet from number four and Alice from number six.’ Sally had been looking forward to this gathering for she’d never entertained so many of her neighbours before. Not at eleven o’clock in the morning, anyway. There’d been parties in the house for birthdays and Christmas, but they were celebrations, and noisy affairs with singing and dancing. Plus drinks to put the guests in the party mood.

  Then Sally introduced her two new friends. ‘This is Molly, and her best mate, Nellie.’ After hands were shaken and greetings exchanged, she waved a hand towards the couch. ‘Make yerselves comfortable, ladies, while I make a pot of tea.’

  Nellie looked at the couch in dismay, and shook her head. ‘If I get on that thing, girl, I’ll never get off it again. Yer’d have to send to the docks for the loan of a bleeding crane to lift me off. Death traps, they are.’

  Her words, and screwed-up face, brought laughter, and an immediate offer from Gertie. ‘We’ll help yer up, girl, there’s enough of us.’

  Nellie grinned. ‘In case yer hadn’t noticed, Gertie, there’s more of me than there is of the lot of yer put together. When God gave me this voluptuous figure what men crave for, he didn’t take into consideration that me legs were too short to sit on a couch. It wasn’t often he slipped up, but when I pointed it out to him it was too late. Me body had set by then.’

  At first Sally’s three neighbours didn’t know whether they should laugh, in case the little woman was conscious of her figure, and they didn’t want to upset her. But when Molly’s hearty chuckle filled the room, they felt free to let their hilarity out. ‘Nellie,’ Harriet said, ‘we’ll have no trouble lifting yer off the couch.’

  ‘Oh, I know yer won’t, girl, because I’m not sitting on the ruddy thing. There’s a spare chair at the table, I’ll sit on that.’

  Molly clicked her tongue. ‘I think that chair is meant for Sally, sunshine, so don’t be so flaming cheeky
. ‘Ye’re not in yer own house now, yer know, so behave yerself.’

  Nellie’s face was contorted as she tried to explain. ‘I will behave meself, girl, but not on that bleeding couch!’

  ‘I’ll tell yer what,’ Sally said. ‘We’ll all sit at the table. There’s a chair in the kitchen we can use, and the one under the window. It’ll be a crush, but yer’ll have to put up with it. Yer can’t have everything.’

  Nellie made a dash for the vacant chair at the table. Then, having been victorious, she bestowed her brightest smile on the occupants of the other chairs. ‘This is nice, isn’t it, girls? Now we can all see what we’re doing.’

  ‘Don’t make yerself too comfortable, sunshine, ’cos there’s another two chairs to go in there. So move up a bit and give someone else a chance.’

  ‘Ah, don’t be so miserable, girl, me backside doesn’t want to move. It’s making friends with the seat of the chair, and yer wouldn’t want to spoil a budding friendship, would yer?’

  ‘There’s the kettle whistling,’ Sally said, turning towards the kitchen. ‘Will yer sort the chairs out, Gertie? Two either side and one each end.’

  ‘I’ll have an end one,’ Molly told them, ‘so stay where yer are. I’ll pick up the chair from under the window.’

  This arrangement wasn’t to Nellie’s liking, for she saw it as giving Molly pride of place. She’d be like a teacher at the top of the class, where she could keep an eye on everyone. ‘I’ll sit at the other end then, girl, and Sally can have her chair back.’

  ‘Make up yer mind, sunshine, before we all get settled. I thought your backside was making friends with the chair seat?’

  Nellie pulled a face. ‘No, girl, it was a short-lived romance. It was going great guns until the chair told me backside to sit still. I mean, like, no self-respecting backside is going to take that from a piece of wood, is it? And the cheeky bugger refused to apologise. So I’m taking me backside to another chair for spite.’

  ‘I wouldn’t bother if I were you, sunshine,’ Molly said, her head shaking slowly. ‘The four chairs belong to one family, and they’re bound to stick up for each other. It wouldn’t surprise me if yer sat on the other chair and got a splinter in yer backside.’