MB07 - Three Little Words

by Joan Jonker

  Molly wagged a finger. ‘For being so cheeky, Nellie McDonough, yer can go and pour the water into the teapot. I’ll fetch the plates in.’

  Nellie gave a weary sigh. ‘See, Claire, having a throne doesn’t get yer out of doing jobs. In fact, it makes yer an easy target ’cos yer stick out like a sore thumb.’

  ‘Go on, move yerself.’ Molly gave her a gentle push towards the kitchen. ‘I’ll be right behind yer.’ With her hand on the kitchen door, Molly turned. ‘Yer always look well, Claire, but yer seem to have a sparkle in yer eyes today. Is there a reason for this?’

  Nellie moved like a streak of lightning to stand inside the kitchen door beside her mate. If there was any juicy gossip on the menu, then she wanted to hear it first hand. ‘Yeah, I thought yer looked very perky today, girl!’

  ‘Well, I have got something to tell yer, but it’ll wait until ye’re sitting down. And then yer’ll either think it’s sad, mad, or yer’ll laugh yer heads off.’

  ‘Don’t stand there gawping, girl, put a move on.’ Nellie gave her friend a none too gentle dig in the ribs. ‘It’ll be time for Claire to go home if yer carry on at this rate.’

  ‘I haven’t anything to do, sunshine, but carry the sandwiches in. They’re ready for eating. But, unfortunately, you are going to have to bring the kettle to the boil again. It’s not me holding us back, it’s you.’

  Claire grinned when Molly came in carrying two plates. ‘Does anyone ever win in these little spats you two have?’

  ‘Nobody wins, sunshine, and nobody loses.’ Molly put the plates down and pulled out a chair for herself. ‘Me and me mate would think there was something wrong if we didn’t have a few minor disagreements each day. Life would be very boring.’

  Nellie came in carrying a steaming teapot in one hand, and a silver teapot stand in the other. ‘You can carry the tray in, girl, and then yer’ll know yer crockery is safe. I did try to pick it up, then I thought sod it! I’d never hear the last of it if I broke one of yer cups.’

  Finally they were all settled down with a cup of tea in front of them and a ham sandwich in their hand. ‘Well, Claire, me and Nellie are on pins to know how something can make us either sad, mad, or laugh our heads off. Come on, has this anything to do with Mr Graham Collins, or am I way off track?’

  Claire felt a crumb on her bottom lip, and she pushed it into her mouth before answering. ‘Mostly, yes. Yer see, I went out with him on Tuesday night, and while he wanted to go to a threatre again, I said I would prefer to go for a drink. And perhaps he’d like to come home with me after we’d had a drink, and he could meet my children.’

  Molly put her sandwich down and cleared her mouth before saying, ‘I hadn’t realised the friendship had progressed that quickly.’

  ‘Oh, it hasn’t, Molly, but I was feeling guilty about leaving Ken to look after Amy. If we’d gone to a theatre it would have been nearly eleven when we got home, and I really don’t think it’s fair to leave the children alone till that time of night.’

  ‘So ye’re still going out with the bloke, then?’ Nellie asked. ‘Yer must think something of him to take him home with yer.’

  ‘No, Nellie, nothing like that! It was nice to have some male company after years of being alone, I admit that. He’s very attentive, holding my elbow when crossing the road, and things like that. But my heart didn’t miss a beat, I’m too old for that. There was no fluttering of eyelashes, or being coy. I didn’t behave like a young girl out on her first date, nor was I over familiar with him. I was just my normal self.’

  Molly was eager to know. ‘Did yer take him home to meet the kids?’

  However, Nellie got in before Claire could answer. ‘I’m dying to know, girl, if ye’re seeing him again?’

  ‘Hang on, you two, and don’t be putting the cart before the horse!’ Claire was chuckling at the expectancy on the two faces watching her. ‘Yes, I took him home with me and he met the children. He was very nice with them, very friendly. But I didn’t encourage him to stay long, for it was past Amy’s bedtime.’

  ‘Is that all?’ Nellie looked disgusted. ‘No goodnight kiss or anything?’

  ‘No, Nellie, that was never on the cards. I went to the door with him, shook his hand and thanked him for a pleasant evening. He asked when he could see me again, and I told him I’d see him when he comes to the shop on Monday with his laundry. Then I got Amy off to bed before making a pot of tea for me and Ken. And this is where the sadness, madness and hilarity comes into it. But let me finish me tea before it goes cold.’

  ‘Yes, and have another sandwich,’ Molly told her, ‘for I’m sick of watching Nellie licking her lips when she looks at the cakes. I don’t know whether she’s more interested in yer love-life, Claire, or whether she wants yer to get on with it so we can get to the cake stage.’

  ‘Then the best thing is for me to keep quiet until the plates are empty. Is that all right with you, Nellie?’

  ‘Ooh, I don’t know now,’ said the little woman. ‘Me head wants yer to finish yer story, but me tummy has different ideas.’

  Molly tutted. ‘You and yer tummy, sunshine, come between me and me sleep. I say let’s eat up, and then when Claire carries on with her story, it won’t be spoilt for me by the sound of you smacking yer lips.’

  ‘Good idea, girl, good idea.’ Nellie looked relieved. ‘Yer see, that cream slice what is the nearest to me, well it’s been giving me the eye since we sat down. It’s just begging me to sink me teeth into it.’

  ‘All right, sunshine, don’t be making a drama out of a cream slice, me and Claire get the drift. Finish the plate of sandwiches first, though, or yer’ll be eating back to front.’

  ‘Yer’ve got some smashing sayings, girl.’ Nellie reached for one of the ham sandwiches, and in one bite half of it had disappeared into her mouth. ‘Do yer think them up yerself, or did yer get them off yer ma?’

  ‘Nellie, don’t speak with yer mouth full, sunshine, it’s bad manners.’

  ‘It’s not full now, girl, it’s only half full.’ The other half of the sandwich disappeared, and Nellie dusted her hands. ‘There yer are, girl. Me mouth’s full again, but the plate is empty. I timed that nicely.’

  ‘Hang about, sunshine!’ Molly grabbed Nellie’s wrist as she was reaching towards the cake plate. ‘I know one of your fingers is acquainted with one of these cakes, so let me examine them, please, to see which one.’ She picked up the plate and pretended to examine each of the cream slices. Then she pointed to the one which had been nearest to Nellie. ‘The reason it was making eyes at yer, sunshine, was because it couldn’t speak. Had it been able to, it would have asked yer to let it join the rest of the cake inside yer tummy.’

  ‘Uh, uh!’ Nellie’s chins weren’t going to stand for that. ‘I didn’t eat no cake before, girl, so don’t be trying to make me look bad in front of Claire. I know yer saw a bit of cream on me finger, but that was only because it rubbed off on me.’

  ‘To have rubbed off on yer, Nellie, yer would have had to have yer hand inside the cake bag.’ Molly moved her foot to give Claire a nudge. ‘I can’t think of any reason for yer to have yer hand in the bag, sunshine, but, then again, yer might have a perfectly good excuse.’ Molly was dying to laugh at the expression on her friend’s face. She’d need divine intervention to get herself out of this pickle.

  Nellie was indeed looking upwards towards the ceiling, but it wasn’t to seek help from on high. She was getting the words right for her reply, which would have Molly laughing the other side of her face.

  ‘Oh, I don’t need no excuse, girl, ’cos it had nothing to do with me really. It was Edna Hanley. And if yer hadn’t been so busy yapping, as usual, yer would have seen for yerself. What happened was, Edna had put the cakes in the bag, but when she handed it to me her hand was on a slant, and the cakes all moved to the one end of the bag. She didn’t see what happened, and I thought she’d think I was being petty if I told her. So I opened the bag and put the cakes straight. And that’s how I come to ha
ve a bit of cream on me finger. If yer don’t believe me, then it’s just too bleeding bad.’

  Claire burst out laughing. ‘Nellie, yer deserve a medal for thinking that up.’

  Nellie’s face was the picture of pride and happiness. ‘It was good, wasn’t it, girl?’

  Molly felt like cupping that face and planting a kiss on it. But she resisted, and said, ‘If Nellie got a medal every time she made up a cock and bull story, Claire, she’d be weighed down with them. For she comes out with gems like that at least twice a day.’ Turning to her mate, she patted her arm. ‘I have to admit, though, sunshine, that was one of yer best. Considering yer had so little time, it was really clever of yer to come up with something that laid the blame at Edna Hanley’s door. And I bet Edna will laugh her head off tomorrow when I tell her that she gave yer a bag of squashed cakes.’

  ‘Ah, yer don’t have to tell her, girl, she’d be really upset.’ Nellie always got the pick of the cream slices off Edna, the ones with the most cream in. Now, in her mind’s eye, she could see the shopkeeper getting her revenge by giving her the ones with hardly any. And that didn’t bear thinking about. ‘Yer wouldn’t be so miserable, would yer, ’cos I think it would be a lousy trick to upset someone what’s done yer no harm.’

  ‘I wouldn’t upset Edna, no, but I’d frighten the ruddy life out of you. There’d be no running to the shop at closing time, when yer know they’ll be selling off any left-over cream cakes for half price.’

  Nellie’s jaw dropped. ‘Who’s been telling tales out of school? Go on, tell me who’s snitched on me, and I’ll strangle them.’

  Molly grinned. ‘I knew I was right.’

  Nellie banged a fist on the table. ‘I want to know who’s been telling yer lies about me?’

  Claire was looking from one to the other. If she didn’t know them, she’d think they were going to come to blows any minute. But she knew they’d end up laughing as though there’d been no raised voices or threats. So she sat back and enjoyed the banter, while wishing she had a friend she was as close to as this pair.

  ‘Nobody told me, Nellie, I found out for meself.’ Molly had mastered the art of keeping her face deadpan while howling with laughter inside. ‘And it’s been going on for ages. Yer must think I’m deaf, dumb and blind, not to hear yer kitchen door close at the same time every night, then yer feet tripping down the cobbles, and the latch on the yard door going. It was so regular, I couldn’t help but notice. So one night, after I’d heard yer kitchen door close, I went upstairs to the back bedroom and saw yer scurrying down the entry. Yer had yer head bent as though yer didn’t want anyone to see yer. But yer have to admit, sunshine, it would be very hard to miss yer.’

  Nellie’s head was nodding and shaking, causing mayhem for her chins. They were forced to change direction every two seconds and were totally confused. ‘If yer saw me, I must have been on me way to the corner shop. I often run out of things, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Anyway, ye’re a nosy bugger, aren’t yer?’

  Molly nodded. ‘Dead nosy, sunshine. And many a time I’ve meant to ask yer the next day where yer’d been off to, but then forgot. Until the afternoon I saw yer close the entry door, stand there and wipe yer mouth with the back of a hand, and then screw up a white paper cake bag and put it in the bin. It was then I cottoned on to what yer were up to.’

  ‘And yer’ve never mentioned it in all these years, girl? Ye’re a dark horse, you are.’

  ‘What are yer talking about, all these years?’ Surprise was high in Molly’s voice. ‘How long have yer been doing it for?’

  ‘For as long as you’ve been watching me, that’s how long.’

  ‘But I only noticed yer yesterday. And that’s ’cos I was cleaning the back bedroom window.’

  ‘Well, that’s how long I’ve been doing it for. We were only having salad, if yer remember, because of the weather being so hot, and it was all ready to put on the table. So rather than hang around for the family to come in, I nipped out and got meself a cake. And so yer know every little detail, girl, I didn’t half enjoy that bleeding cake.’ Nellie’s eyes, and nodding head, went to the plate. ‘Same as I’m going to enjoy that cake, when yer stop bleeding talking long enough for me to pick it up. And if yer don’t hurry, I’ll have gone off the ruddy thing.’

  ‘Seeing as yer’ve explained yerself to my satisfaction, sunshine, I’ll be gracious in defeat and hand yer the plate.’

  Nellie appealed to Claire. ‘D’yer think a ruddy cake is worth going through all that for, girl? Honest, except I don’t want to hurt her feelings, seeing as she’s me best mate, I’d tell her to eat the ruddy thing herself.’

  ‘Yer can do if yer like, queen, but I don’t think Molly could eat two cream slices.’

  ‘She wouldn’t get the chance, ’cos there’s only one each.’

  ‘On the plate there is, but there’s another three in my bag. Yer know I always bring cakes with me. I was going to get them out when that plate was empty.’

  Molly put the plate under Nellie’s nose. ‘Come on, sunshine, we both talk too much. Claire will be wanting to go home before we hear the rest of her story. I’ll take me cake into the kitchen with me and eat it while I’m waiting for the kettle to boil. I’m sure we all feel like a fresh pot of tea.’

  ‘Ken was quiet after Graham left and Amy was in bed,’ Claire told Molly and Nellie after the table had been cleared and they had a fresh cup of tea in front of them. ‘Usually when we’re on our own he talks about his mates in work and what he’s been working on that day. But on Tuesday night I couldn’t get him talking at all. I asked him how the day had gone and he just said it was the same as usual. Then he suddenly blurted out, “Ye’re not getting serious with that bloke, are yer, Mam?” It was the way he said it that caught my attention the most – he looked both sad and angry. I told him I’d only been out with Graham the twice, and as far as I was concerned, it wasn’t serious. Then I asked him why he wanted to know, and did he object? “I don’t like him, and I don’t want yer to go out with him any more.”’ Claire’s smile was tender. ‘I felt like hugging the life out of him for he looked so sad. Like he was being the man of the house and looking after me. I asked him why he didn’t like Graham, and how he could say that about someone he’d only just met, and he said, “He’s not like us, Ma. He’s trying to make out he’s posh, and better than us, but he’s not. Yer don’t want to fall for his fancy words, ’cos I wouldn’t trust him. I know yer must get lonely, but there’s better men than him around. Men like me dad – now he was a real man.”’

  Nellie looked on while Molly caught hold of Claire’s hand. ‘He’s a good lad is your Ken, and no matter what he said, he was only saying what he thought was right for you. Don’t get upset about it. He meant well.’

  ‘Oh, I’m not upset, Molly. I would never get upset over anything Ken said, ’cos he’s a wonderful son, and I love him to pieces. No, I wasn’t upset, I was mad at meself for doing something that put that sad look in his eyes.’

  ‘Did he put yer off the bloke, girl?’ Nellie asked. ‘It would make it awkward for yer going out with a feller yer children didn’t like. But fancy him saying that about yer friend. Weren’t yer surprised?’

  ‘I was surprised, yes, ’cos it sounded strange coming from a boy who’s not fifteen yet. But as for putting me off Graham, well, I really didn’t have any feelings for him anyway. It was a change for me to get out, but if I don’t see him any more it won’t worry me. I know I’ll see him in the shop, but I’ll have second thoughts about going out with him if he asks.’

  ‘Sometimes a young person’s intuitions can surprise yer, sunshine,’ Molly said, hoping her mate wouldn’t think this was a good time to tell Claire her son was right. ‘Your Ken struck me as being very level-headed and grown-up for his age. Perhaps he saw something in your Graham Collins that you can’t see. Who knows? In any case, whatever it was, he was only thinking about your welfare, and I say good for him.’

  Nellie’s chins seem
ed to dance in slow motion as her head didn’t know whether to nod or shake. ‘Wait until yer see him in the shop on Monday, girl. Take a good look at him and ask yerself if yer really like him or not. If ye’re not keen, then I wouldn’t bother going out with him ’cos it wouldn’t be worth upsetting the kids for.’

  ‘I don’t need to take a good look at him, Nellie, ’cos I’ve already made up my mind. I’ll not be going out with Graham again, and I’ll tell him so on Monday.’

  ‘What excuse will yer give, sunshine?’ While Molly asked this, she was thinking that young Ken may have saved her and Nellie the unpleasant task of telling Claire the truth about the man in question. ‘He’s bound to ask why.’

  ‘There’s nothing wrong in telling him the truth, Molly, which is what I’m going to do. I’m not prepared to go out any evening and leave my children alone in the house. It’s as simple as that, and nothing will persuade me to change my mind. I’ve got two wonderful kids, and they’re all I need to make me happy.’

  ‘Good for you, sunshine. I think ye’re doing the right thing if yer’ve no feelings for this man Graham. Perhaps young Ken did yer a favour by causing yer to look closely at yer friendship with him. And who knows, there might be someone come along, out of the blue, and sweep yer off yer feet.’

  ‘That only happens in films, Molly, not in real life. One thing I realise now is that I had ten marvellous years with a man in a million. There’ll never be another one like him.’

  ‘Ay, girl, don’t be saying that,’ Nellie scolded, ‘’cos never is a long time.’

  ‘It is, Nellie, and talking about time, I think I’d better start making tracks. I don’t half enjoy me Friday afternoon visits, though. I look forward to them.’ With her hands flat on the table, Claire pushed herself to her feet. ‘Thanks for having me, and can I come back next week, please?’

  Molly suddenly put a hand to her forehead. ‘Oh, my God, I nearly forgot! Our Ruthie’s having some friends in at half seven tonight, and I’ve to ask yer if Ken would like to come? They only play cards and have a laugh, but I think he’d enjoy himself. Will yer ask him?’