Creature Keepers and the Perilous Pyro-Paws

by Peter Nelson

  Gavin handed her Bernard’s notebook. She began flipping through it. “Let’s see. . . . Okay, wow. See, with candles on your birthday cake? You blow them out; you don’t blow them up.” She flipped to another page. “Yeah, and it’s a ‘soccer’ ball, not a ‘sock-hair’ ball.”

  Donald quietly reached into the cardboard box of props. He pulled out a nasty, woolly sphere made of his red hair, then tossed it out the window.

  “Oh, gross.” Abbie stared down in disgust at another page. “This is so not what ‘shampoo’ is made from.” She tossed the notebook out the window.

  “What’d you do that for?” Francine said. “Now we’ll never learn how to fit in!”

  “You don’t have to learn how to fit in, guys,” Abbie said. “You need to be yourselves. It doesn’t matter if you learn how to bathe a poodle or dance the Macarena or make a banana split—you’ll never be human because you’re cryptids.”

  “I dunno,” Lou said. “Bernard’s pretty into teaching us all this humany stuff.”

  “I’m sure he was,” Abbie said, “because that’s what he’s all about. I mean, the dude plays the tuba. He’s practically more human than I am! Being humanlike is Bernard’s thing. Each one of you guys has to figure out what your thing is. What makes you . . . you?”

  They all stared blankly at her for a moment. Finally, Hogie raised an armlike protrusion and cleared his throat. “I’m, like, all goopy and stuff. . . .”

  “Really?” Francine said. “We hadn’t noticed.”

  “That’s good,” Abbie said. “That’s the thing that makes Hogie whatever it is that he is. Why act like something else? Especially something human. Trust me, I’ve been around humans my whole life, and they’re not so great. Who’s next?”

  Abbie looked around the room. They didn’t seem to be getting it. As she took in how unique each of them was, she thought about a very dear friend. “Listen,” she said. “I met this cryptid. He had his own thing that made him different, too. A bowl built into the top of his head. And that bowl had to stay filled with water at all times or he had this annoying habit of turning to stone.”

  “The Japanese Kappa,” Gavin said softly. The others nodded. They all knew about Morris.

  “At first we thought it was just a weird thing. Then it was a nuisance. Later, it became a real threat to him and everyone around him. But in the end, it was that trait, that funny little thing, that not only helped us defeat and capture Chupacabra, it saved my life.”

  Lou stepped forward. “I can bench about three hundred times my own weight. And I can throw stuff around pretty good.”

  “That’s true,” Abbie said to the others. “He can. I’ve seen it.”

  SNIP! CLICK-CLACK SNAP-SNIP! Abbie and the others looked over to see Clarissa wildly snapping away her claws. “Hiii-yaaah!” She reached over and snipped a table leg in two. Harvey’s stitchwork slid to the floor. Harvey gathered it up and walked out of the room, grumbling about how no one respected his handiwork.

  “It seems that Clarissa has a pair of pretty menacing claws. Good!”

  All the other cryptids showed off what made them unique. Francine had strong, branchlike arms with sharp sticks for fingers. “Great for roasting hot dogs,” Abbie said. “You’ll be a big hit at human barbecues.”

  Gavin flapped his great wings, creating a windstorm that whipped around the entire cabin and also slamming his beaked head into the ceiling. “Ow!” he cried.

  “Watch it there,” Abbie said. “See? You don’t know your own strength!”

  Suddenly a blinding light filled the room, as if a shooting star had fallen in through the window. They all covered their eyes and turned away until it faded. In the center of the brilliant radiance stood Sandy the Sumatran Golden Liger.

  “Very impressive,” Abbie said. “But let’s keep it on low beams for now, okay?” She looked around the room. “See, you all have things that make you special. People are gonna love you guys. Don’t change who you are for anyone, especially anyone human.” She looked over at Donald, who was sitting on the floor, his legs crossed. He was lifting his foot up to the side of his head. “Wow. Look at Donald, you guys! He’s into yoga!” They all applauded.

  Donald looked up, turned his head, and pulled his big toe out of his ear. “Sorry, I was just clearing out some wax. What are you guys talking about?”

  “Nothing, Donald. Keep digging. We’ll find your best quality yet.”

  Jordan stood at the shoreline of the Okeeyuckachokee Swamp. Both the speedboat and the Heli-Jet were still parked there, but there was no sign of Bernard. Jordan turned and bolted into the darkness of the thick cypress trees.

  He hadn’t gone far when he nearly tripped over a pair of boots in the muck. “Badger Ranger regulation, size eight,” he said to himself. A few hundred feet ahead he picked up a muddy sock. Deeper into the swamp, the dappled moonlight revealed a few more items of Eldon’s. Jordan suddenly knew where he’d find his friend. He broke out running past a Badger Ranger shirt, pair of khaki shorts, and Eldon’s belt.

  The round wall of tree trunks protecting the Puddle of Ripeness was impenetrable, like a natural turret rising high into the night sky. The air was thick with the musky, woodsy smell from the trees, the perfect disguise for the nasty, gooey, stinky puddle they protected.

  Jordan tried to remember where the secret doorway was from the last time he was here. This time was much easier, however—halfway around the circle of trunks, he found the passageway had been left wide open.

  Inside, Jordan ran along the circular path that coiled around and around, leading deeper toward the center of the cypress grove. He knew the rare and rancid substance he would find there. The Puddle of Ripeness was a small, bubbling pool of nasty-smelling goo. Jordan had seen with his eyes how powerful an antidote to the Fountain of Youth it was. This time, however, he was more anxious about who he hoped he’d find standing over it: the only two who knew of its existence besides him. Bernard and his Keeper, Eldon Pecone.

  He was elated to hear their voices as he made his way around the final circle. But when he heard what they were saying, he stopped before he reached the center, and listened.

  “Eldon, please try to understand.” Bernard’s voice sounded strained and nervous.

  “Oh, I understand,” Eldon’s voice snapped back. “You betrayed me. You, of all cryptids, abandoned me. After everything we’ve been through together.”

  “Eldon, it doesn’t have to be like this. I just want to be free, without someone keeping me in the shadows. That’s what all of us want. But it doesn’t mean we can’t still be friends. You’ll always be my friend.”

  “You have new friends now, Bernard. You and the other traitors. The Face Chompers. Go be with them. I don’t want to see you. Not ever again.”

  Jordan couldn’t believe he was hearing this. As he approached the voices, he nearly slammed into Bernard rushing out along the same path, looking quite upset.

  “Oh, Jordan,” the Skunk Ape said, more angry than Jordan had ever seen him. “He won’t listen to me. He’s as stubborn as a squirrel.”

  “Mule,” Jordan said. “I think you mean stubborn as a mule.” Bernard nodded. “Let me talk to him. I’ll bring him around. But while I do, I need to ask you to fly the Heli-Jet to Canada and bring back Syd. Deliver him to your Face Chomper hideout. Do you think you can do that?”

  “Sure I can do that,” Bernard said. “I’ll fly all night if I have to. Then I’ll show Eldon that he’s wrong about us. That we’re not traitors. We just want to live our own lives.”

  “I know you will,” Jordan said. “Just like you showed me.”

  Bernard gave Jordan a big hug and trudged off. Jordan watched him disappear around the curved path. Then he turned and faced the entrance to the center of the grove, where Eldon would be waiting for him.

  22

  The clearing in the hub of the cypress cluster was very small, with a mossy patch encircling an even smaller green pool of thick, stinky, bubbling liquid. Si
tting there, staring into the Puddle of Ripeness, was Eldon Pecone. And he was wearing nothing but his boxer shorts.

  “Eldon, what are you doing? Where’s your Badger Ranger uniform?”

  “Don’t need it anymore. Don’t need anything—or anyone.”

  “So you’re out? Just quitting the Badger Rangers?”

  “Badger Rangers, Creature Keepers. I’m out of the whole human race.”

  “You can’t mean that.”

  “Why not? It’s all a lie! There’s no honor, no loyalty, not in any of it. Everyone just does as he, she, or it pleases, with no regard for the sacrifices others have made or the years they’ve given.”

  “Those cryptids didn’t want to hurt you. Especially Bernard. They just want to stop having to hide all the time and to join the real world, that’s all.”

  “They can have at it. And as they check in to the world, I’ll be checking out.”

  “You can’t do this, Eldon. Not now. We need you.”

  Eldon glanced up at Jordan for the first time, then quickly scowled again and pretended that he hadn’t.

  But Jordan had noticed, and he moved closer. “Listen to me. You were right. There is a fourth special cryptid. I think it’s in this weird rock, or egg, at the center of that crater. If it’s an unhatched cryptid, it needs the Creature Keepers’ help. And if it’s a special, its gift may need protecting, too. We have to crack that eggsteroid open, and Abbie and I have a plan. But we’re gonna need First-Class Badger Ranger and Creature Keeper Eldon Pecone.”

  “Sorry. They’re both gone for good.”

  Jordan studied Eldon a moment and tried to summon feelings of sympathy. But he could only feel what Bernard had felt—a growing feeling of anger at what a stubborn squirrel Eldon was being.

  “Y’know what,” Jordan said. “You’re right. The Eldon I know isn’t here. Certainly not the Creature Keeper I knew. You’re not worthy to be a part of what my grandfather started. Not anymore.”

  Eldon glared back at Jordan. “Oh, you think so, do you?”

  “I know so. My grandfather wouldn’t sit here feeling sorry for himself. He’d understand that the years of protection he provided those cryptids are what gave them the confidence to be free. If my grandfather were in your shoes, he’d cancel the pity party and help us!”

  “First off, I’m not wearing any shoes. And second, your grandfather isn’t here. I am. It was me who helped build his Creature Keepers into what it is today. Me who kept it running even after he was gone. So don’t tell me what your grandfather would do because you never knew him. I knew him! I helped him! So I get to say when the Creature Keepers is dead. And it’s dead!”

  This hit Jordan like a punch in the stomach. Finally, he spoke up. “Well, then no wonder this old thing keeps finding its way back to you.” He slipped his grandfather’s ring off his finger and stared at the powerful elixir swirling around inside it. “You once told me the Fountain of Youth power streaming through this ring is multiplied by the wearer’s sacrifice. But I think it also has a way of finding those who need to sacrifice the most. And I think maybe it’s not done with you yet, Eldon.”

  “Well, I’m done with it. I’ve sacrificed more than anyone knows. Unlike you.”

  “Maybe. But as of right now, I’m sacrificing the thing that’s most important to me. My grandfather’s legacy. To prove to you that I don’t believe it’s dead.”

  Jordan tossed the ring toward Eldon. It flew through the air but not quite far enough. They both watched it land in the Puddle of Ripeness.

  Plop! Grampa Grimsley’s ring sank, disappearing into the thick, gooey liquid.

  “Nice catch,” Jordan said.

  “Nice toss,” Eldon said.

  “Well, you know where it is. If you need it, you can just fish it out.”

  “Or maybe I’ll just let it rot in there while I do the same out here.”

  “That’s your choice, Eldon, but I hope you find that ring one more time and let it help you believe again in what you and my grandfather created. And I hope when you do, you won’t have to sacrifice too much.”

  Jordan swallowed hard. He could feel tears welling up, tears he didn’t want Eldon to see. He took a long last look at his friend Eldon Pecone, then turned and walked out.

  Jordan wiped his cheek as he ran toward the boathouse. Something crushed beneath his feet. He picked up Eldon’s smushed Badger Ranger hat and popped it back into shape. A small wet stain fell onto the brim. Jordan felt his cheek. They were both dry. Another small stain appeared on the brim, then another. Snowflakes were drifting down, gently landing and melting on Eldon’s hat.

  The small swirling snow squall was concentrated directly over Jordan’s head and nowhere else. It trailed upward through the treetops, high above and out of the swamp. It took no time at all for Jordan to recognize this sparkling spectacle as one of many very useful skills belonging to his friend the Yeti. But Jordan wasn’t impressed. He threw back his head and hollered at the tiny storm.

  “Wilford! Quit spying on me! Come down off your mountaintop and help us!”

  The squall swirled around him, retreated above the trees, and disappeared into the warm, starry sky.

  23

  Abbie woke with a start and looked around. The sun was up, but the Face Chompers were all snoring after a long night of human untraining. She smiled at her odd-looking pupils, then suddenly thought of her mother and father.

  She rushed back to the Mayan Princess and knocked on their cabin door, trying to imagine where she would tell her parents she had been all night or where she’d say Jordan had gone.

  Mr. and Mrs. Grimsley were still sleeping, having been up quite late themselves, celebrating the opening night of the Alebrijes weekend festival.

  “What are you doing here?” Mrs. Grimsley whispered over Mr. Grimsley’s loud snoring, which was almost as loud as Lou’s. “Jordan said you’d met some friends and were staying with them.”

  “What?” Abbie said. “When did he say that?”

  “He called early this morning. From Florida. Said he had to see your strange friend Eldon home. He let us know so we wouldn’t worry. He said he’d rejoin us before the end of our vacation and to tell you Eldon was back, safe and sound.”

  “Grimsley Family Fun Time . . .” Mr. Grimsley mumbled in his sleep.

  “Good,” Abbie said. “And uh, yes, I am staying with friends. I just missed Chunk and thought I’d take him back with me.

  “All right, well, why don’t you meet us by the pool for lunch and shuffleboard?” her mother said. “And bring your friends. We’d love to meet them!”

  Abbie rushed off to her cabin and opened the door to find Chunk right where she’d left him, in his travel crate, snoring almost as loudly as her father. She crouched down, opened the crate, and lifted his plump body. “I’m sorry, Chunkster. I was up all night helping creatures learn how to live free.”

  She looked down at the small travel crate, then around the dark, cramped cabin. Then she looked into the eyes of her pet iguana.

  It took Jordan a moment to realize where he was when he woke—his Eternal Acres bedroom. Not helping were the retired Keepers, still in their pink Face Chompers nighties, surrounding his bed. Doris stood in the center of them and set down a plate of pancakes.

  “Good morning, dearie. I told them that you’ve found their creatures. They’re very anxious to hear how they are but didn’t want to wake you.”

  Mike, the New Jersey Devil’s Keeper, stepped forward. “Bro. Give it to me straight. Is Lou okay?”

  Jordan sat up. All the former Keepers were longing for news of their cryptids. He knew they deserved answers, but he couldn’t help feeling a little irritated. It had been a long night. “Abbie, Eldon, and I found your creatures. And yes, they’re perfectly fine.”

  A collective sigh filled the room. Then the questions came.

  “Where are they?”

  “Are they being taken care of?”

  “Who kidnapped them?”

/>   Jordan suddenly snapped at them. “No one, all right? No one kidnapped them! I’m sorry to tell you this, but they all left on their own.”

  Confusion erupted from the Keepers.

  “Those are what you have on,” Jordan continued. “Pink slips. You’ve all been let go.”

  “I don’t believe it!” Alice shouted out. “Hogie wouldn’t leave me!”

  “What can we do?” another said. “What will we do?”

  “You’ll all stay here,” Doris said. “Everyone is welcome.”

  Christopher looked angry. “Where’s Eldon? This wouldn’t have happened under his leadership!”

  “I’m afraid Eldon is retired,” Jordan said. “Like all of you.”

  “We didn’t retire! We were fired! You said it yourself! These aren’t pink slips! They’re pink slips!” The British-accented Thomas tore his nightie off and stood defiantly in his Union Jack boxer shorts.

  “Okay,” Jordan said. “I know you’re all angry, but the Creature Keepers organization is in good hands. My sister, Abbie, and I are in charge now, and—”

  “Crudcakes!” Mike hollered. “We want Eldon! He’ll know what to do!”

  Jordan was growing more impatient by the second. He hadn’t even had his breakfast yet, and he was being yelled at by a room full of angry senior citizens in pink nighties. “Well, y’know what? I would’ve liked Eldon’s help, too! But unfortunately, he’s too busy feeling sorry for himself, sitting alone by a puddle in the middle of the swamp, wearing nothing but his underwear!”

  The Keepers all fell silent at this. Suddenly, Mike stepped forward and pulled his pink slip off. Beneath it he was wearing tighty-whitey underwear. He dropped his pink slip on Jordan’s bed and crossed his arms defiantly. Alice the Australian Keeper did the same. She had frilly bloomers on underneath. They all followed suit until Jordan was lying beneath a pile of pink nighties, surrounded by a group of old people in their underwear.