UNFORGETTABLE (Able Series Book 3)

by Aceves, Gigi

  I’m surprised to see Jake wearing the same get up as I am with a determined look in his eyes standing across from me.

  “She’s awake, man. Go to her.”

  Looking at my son, my heart again is pulled in two different directions wanting me to choose, again. I hate choosing. Not when it’s over the two people that have my heart.

  “I don’t want to leave him, Jake. I don’t want him to be alone. I don’t want him to be scared. Tami wouldn’t want him to be scared.”

  “That’s why I’m here, B. I’ll stand next to him. I’ll stand, and I won’t leave him for as long as you stand next to my sister, I’ll be right here. He’s in good hands.”

  I give him a nod while still looking at my son with my hand still on his back. I glance Jake’s way as I tell him, “Slide your hand over mine when I pull my hand off him. I don’t want him to feel that I’ve left him.”

  As soon as my hand is replaced by Jake’s, I still watch him closely to catch a glimpse of some sort of movement. Maybe a tick of a muscle or something, but there’s nothing. He’s so still laying there with his eyes closed.

  He just stays—as someone stays alongside him. With a heavy heart, I turn to go to my wife whose beating heart will rejuvenate mine.

  TAMI

  IT’S BEEN THREE LONG MONTHS, and now, the wait is over. We’re bringing Dominic home. I let those words roll in my mouth a couple of times, and the more I repeat them, the more my smile grows. Finally. Finally! I almost want to shout it from the roof top because we’ve waited for this time for so long, but since when has life ever been cooperative with me or anyone.

  While getting ready to pick up Dominic I remember the first time I ever held him. Old emotions begin to stir and wreak havoc in my belly, but they’re feelings I can’t and will never forget. They made me who I am today . . . they deepened the relationship Brian and I have. They strengthened the bond between my family and his. They’re little blessings in one of the darkest times in my life. These blessings are playing like a song in my mind. Memories I’ll treasure to feed my soul when doubt creeps in from time to time.

  “I need to see him. Will you take me?”

  “Are you sure? How about tomorrow?”

  Closing my eyes as tears of frustration roll down my face, I start begging, “I need to see my baby. I don’t care if I have to crawl or walk, just get me there, please. I’ve been here, in the recovery room for God knows how long. I . . . I just want to see my son, please.”

  With his jaw ticking in frustration, I try to calm myself. If everyone else gets to see my Dominic, I need to see him too. I need him as much as he needs me.

  “Let me get the nurse, okay?” He turns to leave, but turns back and says, “So, help me, if you move a single muscle, I’ll chain your ass on that bed. I can only deal with so much before I break, T. Please, don’t test me.”

  I mumble, “I’m staying, so get going!”

  “Oh gosh, the rhyming is only for me, Tami!” Neil answers as he crosses his leg.

  “I’m surprised they allowed two in here. Did you bribe someone, Neil?”

  Neil waits until Brian closes the door then answers, “Everyone is worried about Brian. He hasn’t eaten anything at all, Tami. That guy is running on pure will power.” Sighing loudly he continues, “The paternals forcefully told the maternals to eat, so they’re at the cafeteria. Trish and Roxy went home to feed the quaking chickens in the hen house with Cody. Jake is with the baby, and I’m here to babysit your hubby.”

  Shaking my head, I smile as excitement pours over my body in anticipation of finally meeting my son. I know it’s not the usual, you can hold and breathe him in, type of meeting, but it’s good enough for me. If it means just seeing him with my own two eyes, I’ll settle for that.

  Brian walks in smiling at me. “They’re ready to take you to your room . . .”

  I don’t let him finish, and my lips are already shaking as tears threaten to fall. Instead of getting frustrated like he did earlier, he leans toward me, gives me a few pecks on my lips as he holds my face with both hands. “If you’ll only let me finish,” he says as he shakes his head. “I asked if we could take a detour so you could see him, and they said ‘no problem.’ Are you ready to see our son? He . . .” he stops for a second, searching my eyes. All I want is to get out of this room, straight to my son. “He’s so tiny, angel, with wires and stuff attached to him. I . . . I need you to be prepared. Are you?”

  “I’m ready. Please, take me to him.”

  He nods, still wearing that worried look on his face. Two orderlies walk in and start wheeling me out of the recovery bay with Brian at my side and Neil behind us. We pass this long white hallway, then make a turn, then another, and finally we stop. One of the orderlies puts the bed in an upright position allowing me to sit up and see through the glass window.

  The moment I see my brother patiently standing guard over my son, my tears flood my face as Brian holds both of my hands. My eyes wander past Jake, and my little, tiny baby boy inflates my heart so big I’m afraid it’s going to burst any second. A mixture of hope and fear flow in and out of me at lightning speed both plaguing my heart and mind.

  My lips continue to quiver, and my voice cracks when I ask, “C—can you move mm-my bed as close to the wall as possible?” I turn my head to ask the man who’s next to me.

  He nods and motions for his partner to help him. Brian and Neil move out of their way, and in a few seconds, I find my bed flush against the glass window. Brian helps me to sit up. His arms around my shoulders as I slowly lay my hand flat on the window, praying with all my might for my son to feel a little of me . . . of my presence in the little amount of time I’m allowed to be here.

  “I hope he can feel me, Brian. I want to touch him.”

  “See Jake’s hand on him, that’s your touch, baby. He’s feeling you right now. He feels your love. He feels your presence.” He slowly rests his hand over mine then says, “I have to believe that for him. But more than anything, I’d like you to believe it, too. He needs us to believe it. We’ll stand right here, all day everyday on this wall . . . until it’s done.”

  “Until it’s done.” I whisper back.

  “Are you ready?”

  My husband’s voice makes me jump like a Chihuahua. I playfully glare at the man whose voice clearly scared the living daylights out of me and out of my thoughts too. “God! Will you knock next time? You scared me!”

  “I can’t wait. I want to leave, right now. Please, tell me you’re ready to leave?”

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah . . . I’m ready.”

  Once again, seeing baby furniture in our room makes my eyes water. The reality sinks in that Dominic will be in this room in a matter of hours. We’re finally bringing him home—home.

  “I can’t wait to see him in here with us. To see you in that rocker feeding my son while I watch you both. To finally hold him without wires. To smell his breath . . . to just breathe him in without the smell of the hospital around us. I’ve been waiting for this day, and thank God, it’s finally here.”

  “Our forever at long last is going to start,” I whisper against his chest.

  I can feel him shaking his head as he says, “No, our forever started when you became mine. We just hit a bump in the road, but our forever didn’t stop, angel, even with all the sleepless nights, worries that consumed our hearts and minds . . . we moved, baby.” Cupping my face he says, “You—you make me move, Dominic makes me move. Our love makes me move. I’ll move until I can’t, and even then, I promise you if I get there first, I’ll be waiting for you.”

  “Who would have thought that a cougar like me would end up with a guy much younger than I am who has a much older soul than anyone I’ve ever known? I.love.you.”

  “And I.love.you.”

  Just when he’s about to kiss me again, Roxy walks in holding a very wide awake Corey with Cody in tow. Close behind is Jake holding Jaelin, and Trish bringing up the rear with Trevor.

  “Oh wow!
Jaelin, sweetheart, please close your eyes. You’re not to witness any kind of lip locking. Trevor, you’re about to witness how to properly kiss a girl. Brace yourself, buddy; you’re about to witness Uncle B act like a badass!”

  “Cody!” Everyone except the kids yells out.

  “Oh sh—-. . . . I mean shoot!”

  “Baaad-aaaaasssh,” Trevor yells out.

  Trish rolls her eyes and takes Trevor out of the room before he repeats anymore words coming from Cody’s filthy mouth.

  My dad whistles, which stops Cody’s x-rated rant and makes all of us swing our gaze toward the door. “What’s going on here? We’re waiting outside, and you kids are having a meeting, right now?” My dad shakes his head then says, “Let’s go, Tami! I have a grandson to pick up. And Roxy, Corey looks like he’s hungry!”

  Roxy and I share a look, and together we roll our eyes as the boys follow the head caveman out.

  Roxy mumbles, “Hurry up, T! The leader of the tribe has spoken. And you, my wonderful son, will be like the Pillsbury dough boy at the rate your grandfather wants you to eat!”

  On the way to the hospital, a very sweet memory hits me making me cry and smile at the same time.

  “He did good last night, Tami,” Nancy says as she hugs me.

  Sighing deeply I answer, “Thank God. The beeping sound of these machines causes me nightmares.” I run my pinky over Dominic’s cheek.

  “My boy, Dominic, is a trooper.” Sighing out loud as she drapes her arm around me she says, “His very first night here, your husband got scared of all the beeping noises. He thought no one heard him say ‘when is enough, enough,’ but I did. Through the years, I’ve heard parents ask, ‘Is my son in pain?,’ or ‘What’s going on?,’ or ‘Is he breathing?,’ or the typical ‘Call the doctor?,’ or the most common ‘Do you know what you’re doing?’; but never once have I heard someone ask that question.”

  She turns me around, pushing me to walk toward the rocking chair next to Dominic’s bed. “It’s feeding time, Mama.” Then, Nancy turns to pick up Dominic, making sure all his wires are still attached and not crimped. “Here ya go. Feed your baby, then I’ll finish my story before big Brent wakes up,” she says looking Brent’s way who’s sleeping soundly. “Anyway, when I heard him say that, I let the question sink in my head. When is enough, really truly enough? Dominic’s tiny face just glowed with peace and in turn, my heart spoke to me. You know what my heart said?”

  Nancy looks from Dominic to me with a smile so huge I can’t help but smile with her as tears roll down my face. “Your heart said, ‘when it’s done,’ right?” I answer through the lump in my throat.

  She shakes her head as she kneels down. “No. That thought came soon after, though. My first thought was the day you lose the will to fight, it’s when enough is enough. And looking at Dominic, I knew then that he wouldn’t give up the fight. He, including all the kids here, inspire me every day to walk through those doors without fear. Once I set foot in here, my world becomes these kids . . . because just like Dominic, this small space becomes their world until it’s done.” Nancy lifts my chin with her finger as my eyes move from my son’s face to hers. “Your ‘done’ will happen soon. He’s thriving, living, and breathing. Yes, he’s small compared to other kids his age, but his heart is strong. If God intended for the size of our hearts to be the guide to measure our strength, He would’ve made all our hearts bigger than the rest of us. It’s the heart that makes us feel, hope, and love. And above all, it’s our heart that makes us move. Leave your worries behind that door, because in here, you are his world and he is yours.”

  “I’ve been a weak mother, haven’t I?”

  “No, you’ve been a real mother. As mothers, we worry about our children. But, what will worrying really do? Except make us sick. Take your cue from Dominic. He’s gaining weight, eating well.” She takes a peek of Dominic sucking gently. “I think he’s eating a lot!”

  “I just want to take him home. But, however long it takes, I’ll wait. My heart can wait. My heart will wait for my Dominic.”

  “Atta girl! You’re a silent fighter like your son and husband. When Brian stands next to Dominic, it’s like both of them are a force to be reckoned with, and then . . .” Nancy pauses with a smirk on her face. “ . . . you add Jack and the rest of the hooligans standing guard, the energy of protection around Dominic is like no other, and boy my knickers are in a twist!” She makes the sign of the cross and says, “My poor George, may he rest in peace.”

  A smile spreads across my face as I look at my son quietly nursing. I continue to run my finger on his cheek, coaxing him to keep on eating. As I gaze at the glass window, I see Brian, his hand splayed across the glass looking directly at us with a look of complete awe on his face.

  Nancy sighing out loud breaks the moment, but not our connection. “That right there is a man so in love with his wife and son. Others will pepper you with flowers and candies, or buy you things, but that guy.” She points at Brian and waves. “That guy just stands all the time, protecting what’s given to him by the good Lord. Bless his heart. It’s in his silence his love for you both is the loudest. Not a word spoken, but every action felt.”

  “Is that what you mean by the heart makes you move?” I ask softly while still looking at my husband.

  “Exactly. Brian’s heart moves him to stand there for you and Dominic. Dominic’s heart moves him to fight to live. But, your heart doesn’t only move, it serves like a glue binding Brian and Dominic’s hearts to yours. Allow it to move, Tami. I’ve seen babies born at twenty-eight weeks and leave the NICU after three and a half months. He’s almost there, Tami. . . . just make your heart move.”

  BRIAN

  JUST AS WHEN WE DROPPED off Jake at City of Hope for his transplant, picking Dominic up is the same thing. We’re all in a caravan. Jake’s driving his Tahoe with the quads, Trish, and Laura. Cody’s behind him driving his truck with Roxy, Corey, and Anna. Jack, Patti, and my parents are riding with Jack while Tami and I head the convoy with Dominic’s car seat securely fastened in the back of our Mercedes.

  On our way to the hospital, I remember the past three months. How they’ve changed not only our lives, but everyone around us. I work shorter shifts to be at the hospital by three to relieve Tami. To say it put a strain on our relationship is an understatement, but we worked through it. Then, I remember the first time I held my son.

  I leave Tami in the parent’s lounge sleeping after spending the whole night and early part of this morning with Dominic. I walk down the same hallway for the billionth time today. It’s an exaggeration I know, but it feels like I’m a part of these damn walls. I put on the same garb, do the same ritual, robotically. The only time my emotions switch are when my eyes land on my son.

  “Can I hold him?”

  “Sure, Brian.” Nancy offers a smile much bigger than the other day. “Let me unhook his leads, okay?”

  I wait patiently as every nerve in my body is shaking with damn excitement. This will be the first time I’ll feel my son’s skin against mine. It’s a feeling I can’t even describe . . . an emotion worse than longing, and an emotion that exceeds elations.

  “Ready?”

  “More than ready.” My unequivocal answer rocks my heart to the core.

  My arms shake, my eyes water, my fingertips tremble, but my heart . . . damn . . . my heart bursts in happiness as soon as his skin makes contact with mine.

  “Hey, son. Can you feel that? My heart against yours, buddy. You make my heart race with so much love and joy, I’m ready to say goodbye to life at any moment. Two of my dreams have finally come true. One happened when I married your mama, and the other is holding you in my arms. I love you and your mama so much. I pray day and night for a lifetime with you both. If there’s a time longer than forever, that’s what I want for us. I want our story to go on and on, where no one can take you away from us . . . where you’re free and not hooked up to all these machines, where heartaches don’t exists and fear doesn
’t hold a candle to faith and love. Take all of my strength, Dominic . . . all . . . don’t leave anything, because at the end of all this, I want you to live. I want you to want it just as much if not more.”

  Dominic moves a fraction, but it means a lot—a whole lot. It’s an affirmation that yes he’s fighting and yes he’s taking . . . taking everything I’m giving. I sense someone behind me, and turning my head slightly, I see my father-in-law standing guard like always. I know he’s going to tell me something, and to be honest, I can’t wait to hear it. I need replenishment in the pep talk department. The last time I had one was last night when my dad called me. With what Tami and I are going through, we need all the encouragement we can get.

  His warm and solid hand lands on my shoulder, then he speaks, “There’s only four people in my circle that I know of, who knows what you’re going through. God, your dad, Jake, and me. When Jake got sick, I was beside myself. I kept it in because I knew I had to be strong. I knew it was out of my hands, but more than anything, I knew He was in control . . . not me. Surely, not me. All I could do was pray—on my knees, I begged day and night . . . night and day.” Clearing his throat, he continues on, “When Jake was at his worst, I finally told Him ‘it’s Your will, not mine. Help me to accept what I might lose and teach me to rejoice in what Heaven would gain.’ Let me tell you, it was hard for me to say those words, because as a father, I wanted him to outlive me. I wanted him to experience life—the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of it. And, there’s your dad. He told me when your mom was pregnant, he prepared himself for the worst, being that they had already lost three before you. I asked him what made them want to try for the fourth time. He simply said this, ‘love doesn’t count the times you’ve been hurt or how many bucketfuls of tears you’ve cried. Love just keeps on loving—giving.’”

  He walks around and stands on the opposite side of Dominic’s bed, seeming to control his emotions while I’m trying to do the same. “When the quads were born, you know there were days we could’ve easily lost one or two, but Jake stood strong even through his fears because he was once in that crossroad. It’s scary . . . it’s tough, but He, whom we lean on is stronger than that—much stronger. And, you know what God has done. I don’t have to say it. I’m telling you this to let you know, you’re not alone. So, enjoy Dominic for however long you have him. Love him as deep as you can and as hard as you can. He can’t understand yet, but he’ll feel the depth of your love by your touch and your voice.”