Ill call you when I know where Im going, I promised as I hugged her goodbye. I knew the honeymoon secret was probably driving her crazy; my mother hated secrets, unless she was in on them.
Ill tell you as soon as shes safely away, Alice outdid me, smirking at my wounded expression. How unfair, for me to be the last to know.
You have to visit me and Phil very, very soon. Its your turn to go southsee the sun for once, Rene said.
It didnt rain today, I reminded her, avoiding her request.
A miracle.
Everythings ready, Alice said. Your suitcases are in the carJaspers bringing it around. She pulled me back toward the stairs with Rene following, still halfway embracing me.
I love you, Mom, I whispered as we descended. Im so glad you have Phil. Take care of each other.
I love you, too, Bella, honey.
Goodbye, Mom. I love you, I said again, my throat thick.
Edward was waiting at the bottom of the stairs. I took his outstretched hand but leaned away, scanning the little crowd that was waiting to see us off.
Dad? I asked, my eyes searching.
Over here, Edward murmured. He pulled me through the guests; they made a pathway for us. We found Charlie leaning awkwardly against the wall behind everyone else, looking a little like he was hiding. The red rims around his eyes explained why.
Oh, Dad!
I hugged him around the waist, tears streaming againI was crying so much tonight. He patted my back.
There, now. You dont want to miss your plane.
It was hard to talk about love with Charliewe were so much alike, always reverting to trivial things to avoid embarrassing emotional displays. But this was no time for being self-conscious.
I love you forever, Dad, I told him. Dont forget that.
You, too, Bells. Always have, always will.
I kissed his cheek at the same time that he kissed mine.
Call me, he said.
Soon, I promised, knowing this was all I could promise. Just a phone call. My father and my mother could not be allowed to see me again; I would be too different, and much, much too dangerous.
Go on, then, he said gruffly. Dont want to be late.
The guests made another aisle for us. Edward pulled me close to his side as we made our escape.
Are you ready? he asked.
I am, I said, and I knew that it was true.
Everyone applauded when Edward kissed me on the doorstep. Then he rushed me to the car as the rice storm began. Most of it went wide, but someone, probably Emmett, threw with uncanny precision, and I caught a lot of the ricochets off Edwards back.
The car was decorated with more flowers that trailed in streamers along its length, and long gossamer ribbons that were tied to a dozen shoesdesigner shoes that looked brand-newdangling behind the bumper.
Edward shielded me from the rice while I climbed in, and then he was in and we were speeding away as I waved out the window and called I love you to the porch, where my families waved back.
The last image I registered was one of my parents. Phil had both arms wrapped tenderly around Rene. She had one arm tight around his waist but had her free hand reached out to hold Charlies. So many different kinds of love, harmonious in this one moment. It seemed a very hopeful picture to me.
Edward squeezed my hand.
I love you, he said.
I leaned my head against his arm. Thats why were here, I quoted him.
He kissed my hair.
As we turned onto the black highway and Edward really hit the accelerator, I heard a noise over the purr of the engine, coming from the forest behind us. If I could hear it, then he certainly could. But he said nothing as the sound slowly faded in the distance. I said nothing, either.
The piercing, heartbroken howling grew fainter and then disappeared entirely.
5. ISLE ESME
Houston? I asked, raising my eyebrows when we reached the gate in Seattle.
Just a stop along the way, Edward assured me with a grin.
It felt like Id barely fallen asleep when he woke me. I was groggy as he pulled me through the terminals, struggling to remember how to open my eyes after every blink. It took me a few minutes to catch up with what was going on when we stopped at the international counter to check in for our next flight.
Rio de Janeiro? I asked with slightly more trepidation.
Another stop, he told me.
The flight to South America was long but comfortable in the wide first-class seat, with Edwards arms cradled around me. I slept myself out and awoke unusually alert as we circled toward the airport with the light of the setting sun slanting through the planes windows.
We didnt stay in the airport to connect with another flight as Id expected. Instead we took a taxi through the dark, teeming, living streets of Rio. Unable to understand a word of Edwards Portuguese instructions to the driver, I guessed that we were off to find a hotel before the next leg of our journey. A sharp twinge of something very close to stage fright twisted in the pit of my stomach as I considered that. The taxi continued through the swarming crowds until they thinned somewhat, and we appeared to be nearing the extreme western edge of the city, heading into the ocean.
We stopped at the docks.
Edward led the way down the long line of white yachts moored in the night-blackened water. The boat he stopped at was smaller than the others, sleeker, obviously built for speed instead of space. Still luxurious, though, and more graceful than the rest. He leaped in lightly, despite the heavy bags he carried. He dropped those on the deck and turned to help me carefully over the edge.
I watched in silence while he prepared the boat for departure, surprised at how skilled and comfortable he seemed, because hed never mentioned an interest in boating before. But then again, he was good at just about everything.
As we headed due east into the open ocean, I reviewed basic geography in my head. As far as I could remember, there wasnt much east of Brazil until you got to Africa.
But Edward sped forward while the lights of Rio faded and ultimately disappeared behind us. On his face was a familiar exhilarated smile, the one produced by any form of speed. The boat plunged through the waves and I was showered with sea spray.
Finally the curiosity Id suppressed so long got the best of me.
Are we going much farther? I asked.
It wasnt like him to forget that I was human, but I wondered if he planned for us to live on this small craft for any length of time.
About another half hour. His eyes took in my hands, clenched on the seat, and he grinned.
Oh well, I thought to myself. He was a vampire, after all. Maybe we were going to Atlantis.
Twenty minutes later, he called my name over the roar of the engine.
Bella, look there. He pointed straight ahead.
I saw only blackness at first, and the moons white trail across the water. But I searched the space where he pointed until I found a low black shape breaking into the sheen of moonlight on the waves. As I squinted into the darkness, the silhouette became more detailed. The shape grew into a squat, irregular triangle, with one side trailing longer than the other before sinking into the waves. We drew closer, and I could see the outline was feathery, swaying to the light breeze.
And then my eyes refocused and the pieces all made sense: a small island rose out of the water ahead of us, waving with palm fronds, a beach glowing pale in the light of the moon.
Where are we? I murmured in wonder while he shifted course, heading around to the north end of the island.
He heard me, despite the noise of the engine, and smiled a wide smile that gleamed in the moonlight.
This is Isle Esme.
The boat slowed dramatically, drawing with precision into position against a short dock constructed of wooden planks, bleached into whiteness by the moon. The engine cut off, and the silence that followed was profound. There was nothing but the waves, slapping lightly against the boat, and the rustle of the breeze in the pal
ms. The air was warm, moist, and fragrantlike the steam left behind after a hot shower.
Isle Esme? My voice was low, but it still sounded too loud as it broke into the quiet night.
A gift from CarlisleEsme offered to let us borrow it.
A gift. Who gives an island as a gift? I frowned. I hadnt realized that Edwards extreme generosity was a learned behavior.
He placed the suitcases on the dock and then turned back, smiling his perfect smile as he reached for me. Instead of taking my hand, he pulled me right up into his arms.
Arent you supposed to wait for the threshold? I asked, breathless, as he sprung lightly out of the boat.
He grinned. Im nothing if not thorough.
Gripping the handles of both huge steamer trunks in one hand and cradling me in the other arm, he carried me up the dock and onto a pale sand pathway through the dark vegetation.
For a short while it was pitch black in the jungle-like growth, and then I could see a warm light ahead. It was about at the point when I realized the light was a housethe two bright, perfect squares were wide windows framing a front doorthat the stage fright attacked again, more forcefully than before, worse than when Id thought we were headed for a hotel.
My heart thudded audibly against my ribs, and my breath seemed to get stuck in my throat. I felt Edwards eyes on my face, but I refused to meet his gaze. I stared straight ahead, seeing nothing.
He didnt ask what I was thinking, which was out of character for him. I guessed that meant that he was just as nervous as I suddenly was.
He set the suitcases on the deep porch to open the doorsthey were unlocked.
Edward looked down at me, waiting until I met his gaze before he stepped through the threshold.
He carried me through the house, both of us very quiet, flipping on lights as he went. My vague impression of the house was that it was quite large for a tiny island, and oddly familiar. Id gotten used to the pale-on-pale color scheme preferred by the Cullens; it felt like home. I couldnt focus on any specifics, though. The violent pulse beating behind my ears made everything a little blurry.
Then Edward stopped and turned on the last light.
The room was big and white, and the far wall was mostly glassstandard dcor for my vampires. Outside, the moon was bright on white sand and, just a few yards away from the house, glistening waves. But I barely noted that part. I was more focused on the absolutely huge white bed in the center of the room, hung with billowy clouds of mosquito netting.
Edward set me on my feet.
Ill go get the luggage.
The room was too warm, stuffier than the tropical night outside. A bead of sweat dewed up on the nape of my neck. I walked slowly forward until I could reach out and touch the foamy netting. For some reason I felt the need to make sure everything was real.
I didnt hear Edward return. Suddenly, his wintry finger caressed the back of my neck, wiping away the drop of perspiration.
Its a little hot here, he said apologetically. I thought that would be best.
Thorough, I murmured under my breath, and he chuckled. It was a nervous sound, rare for Edward.
I tried to think of everything that would make this easier, he admitted.
I swallowed loudly, still facing away from him. Had there ever been a honeymoon like this before?
I knew the answer to that. No. There had not.
I was wondering, Edward said slowly, if first maybe youd like to take a midnight swim with me? He took a deep breath, and his voice was more at ease when he spoke again. The water will be very warm. This is the kind of beach you approve of.
Sounds nice. My voice broke.
Im sure youd like a human minute or two. It was a long journey.
I nodded woodenly. I felt barely human; maybe a few minutes alone would help.
His lips brushed against my throat, just below my ear. He chuckled once and his cool breath tickled my overheated skin. Dont take too long, Mrs. Cullen.
I jumped a little at the sound of my new name.
His lips brushed down my neck to the tip of my shoulder. Ill wait for you in the water.
He walked past me to the French door that opened right onto the beach sand. On the way, he shrugged out of his shirt, dropping it on the floor, and then slipped through the door into the moonlit night. The sultry, salty air swirled into the room behind him.
Did my skin burst into flames? I had to look down to check. Nope, nothing was burning. At least, not visibly.
I reminded myself to breathe, and then I stumbled toward the giant suitcase that Edward had opened on top of a low white dresser. It must be mine, because my familiar bag of toiletries was right on top, and there was a lot of pink in there, but I didnt recognize even one article of clothing. As I pawed through the neatly folded pileslooking for something familiar and comfortable, a pair of old sweats maybeit came to my attention that there was an awful lot of sheer lace and skimpy satin in my hands. Lingerie. Very lingerie-ish lingerie, with French tags.
I didnt know how or when, but someday, Alice was going to pay for this.
Giving up, I went to the bathroom and peeked out through the long windows that opened to the same beach as the French doors. I couldnt see him; I guessed he was there in the water, not bothering to come up for air. In the sky above, the moon was lopsided, almost full, and the sand was bright white under its shine. A small movement caught my eyedraped over a bend in one of the palm trees that fringed the beach, the rest of his clothes were swaying in the light breeze.
A rush of heat flashed across my skin again.
I took a couple of deep breaths and then went to the mirrors above the long stretch of counters. I looked exactly like Id been sleeping on a plane all day. I found my brush and yanked it harshly through the snarls on the back of my neck until they were smoothed out and the bristles were full of hair. I brushed my teeth meticulously, twice. Then I washed my face and splashed water on the back of my neck, which was feeling feverish. That felt so good that I washed my arms as well, and finally I decided to just give up and take the shower. I knew it was ridiculous to shower before swimming, but I needed to calm down, and hot water was one reliable way to do that.
Also, shaving my legs again seemed like a pretty good idea.
When I was done, I grabbed a huge white towel off the counter and wrapped it under my arms.
Then I was faced with a dilemma I hadnt considered. What was I supposed to put on? Not a swimsuit, obviously. But it seemed silly to put my clothes back on, too. I didnt even want to think about the things Alice had packed for me.
My breathing started to accelerate again and my hands trembledso much for the calming effects of the shower. I started to feel a little dizzy, apparently a full-scale panic attack on the way. I sat down on the cool tile floor in my big towel and put my head between my knees. I prayed he wouldnt decide to come look for me before I could pull myself together. I could imagine what he would think if he saw me going to pieces this way. It wouldnt be hard for him to convince himself that we were making a mistake.
And I wasnt freaking out because I thought we were making a mistake. Not at all. I was freaking out because I had no idea how to do this, and I was afraid to walk out of this room and face the unknown. Especially in French lingerie. I knew I wasnt ready for that yet.
This felt exactly like having to walk out in front of a theater full of thousands with no idea what my lines were.
How did people do thisswallow all their fears and trust someone else so implicitly with every imperfection and fear they hadwith less than the absolute commitment Edward had given me? If it werent Edward out there, if I didnt know in every cell of my body that he loved me as much as I loved himunconditionally and irrevocably and, to be honest, irrationallyId never be able to get up off this floor.
But it was Edward out there, so I whispered the words Dont be a coward under my breath and scrambled to my feet. I hitched the towel tighter under my arms and marched determinedly from the bathroom. Past the suitcase full of
lace and the big bed without looking at either. Out the open glass door onto the powder-fine sand.
Everything was black-and-white, leached colorless by the moon. I walked slowly across the warm powder, pausing beside the curved tree where he had left his clothes. I laid my hand against the rough bark and checked my breathing to make sure it was even. Or even enough.
I looked across the low ripples, black in the darkness, searching for him.
He wasnt hard to find. He stood, his back to me, waist deep in the midnight water, staring up at the oval moon. The pallid light of the moon turned his skin a perfect white, like the sand, like the moon itself, and made his wet hair black as the ocean. He was motionless, his hands resting palms down against the water; the low waves broke around him as if he were a stone. I stared at the smooth lines of his back, his shoulders, his arms, his neck, the flawless shape of him.
The fire was no longer a flash burn across my skinit was slow and deep now; it smoldered away all my awkwardness, my shy uncertainty. I slipped the towel off without hesitation, leaving it on the tree with his clothes, and walked out into the white light; it made me pale as the snowy sand, too.
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