I inhaled deeply. What was the other thing he wanted?
Jacob smiled. Youll like this. His main request is that he be told as little as possible about all of this. If its not absolutely essential for him to know something, then keep it to yourself. Need to know, only.
I felt relief for the first time since Jacob had walked in. I can handle that part.
Other than that, hed just like to pretend things are normal. Jacobs smile turned smug; he must suspect that I would be starting to feel the first faint stirrings of gratitude about now.
What did you tell him about Renesmee? I struggled to maintain the razor edge in my voice, fighting the reluctant appreciation. It was premature. There was still so much wrong with this situation. Even if Jacobs intervention had brought out a better reaction in Charlie than Id ever hoped for
Oh yeah. So I told him that you and Edward had inherited a new little mouth to feed. He glanced at Edward. Shes your orphaned wardlike Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson. Jacob snorted. I didnt think youd mind me lying. Thats all part of the game, right? Edward didnt respond in any way, so Jacob went on. Charlie was way past being shocked at this point, but he did ask if you were adopting her. Like a daughter? Like Im sort of a grandfather? were his exact words. I told him yes. Congrats, Gramps, and all of that. He even smiled a little.
The stinging returned to my eyes, but not out of fear or anguish this time. Charlie was smiling at the idea of being a grandpa? Charlie would meet Renesmee?
But shes changing so fast, I whispered.
I told him that she was more special than all of us put together, Jacob said in a soft voice. He stood and walked right up to me, waving Leah and Seth off when they started to follow. Renesmee reached out to him, but I hugged her more tightly to me. I told him, Trust me, you dont want to know about this. But if you can ignore all the strange parts, youre going to be amazed. Shes the most wonderful person in the whole world. And then I told him that if he could deal with that, you all would stick around for a while and he would have a chance to get to know her. But that if it was too much for him, you would leave. He said as long as no one forced too much information on him, hed deal.
Jacob stared at me with half a smile, waiting.
Im not going to say thank you, I told him. Youre still putting Charlie at a huge risk.
I am sorry about it hurting you. I didnt know it was like that. Bella, things are different with us now, but youll always be my best friend, and Ill always love you. But Ill love you the right way now. Theres finally a balance. We both have people we cant live without.
He smiled his very most Jacob-y smile. Still friends?
Try as hard as I could to resist, I had to smile back. Just a tiny smile.
He held out his hand: an offer.
I took a deep breath and shifted Renesmees weight to one arm. I put my left hand in hishe didnt even flinch at the feel of my cool skin. If I dont kill Charlie tonight, Ill consider forgiving you for this.
When you dont kill Charlie tonight, youll owe me huge.
I rolled my eyes.
He held out his other hand toward Renesmee, a request this time. Can I?
Im actually holding her so that my hands arent free to kill you, Jacob. Maybe later.
He sighed but didnt push me on it. Wise of him.
Alice raced back through the door then, her hands full and her expression promising violence.
You, you, and you, she snapped, glaring at the werewolves. If you must stay, get over in the corner and commit to being there for a while. I need to see. Bella, youd better give him the baby, too. Youll need your arms free, anyway.
Jacob grinned in triumph.
Undiluted fear ripped through my stomach as the enormity of what I was about to do hit me. I was going to gamble on my iffy self-control with my pure human father as the guinea pig. Edwards earlier words crashed in my ears again.
Did you consider the physical pain youre putting Bella through, even if she can resist? Or the emotional pain if she doesnt?
I couldnt imagine the pain of failure. My breathing turned to gasps.
Take her, I whispered, sliding Renesmee into Jacobs arms.
He nodded, concern wrinkling his forehead. He gestured to the others, and they all went to the far corner of the room. Seth and Jake slouched on the floor at once, but Leah shook her head and pursed her lips.
Am I allowed to leave? she griped. She looked uncomfortable in her human body, wearing the same dirty t-shirt and cotton shorts shed worn to shriek at me the other day, her short hair sticking up in irregular tufts. Her hands were still shaking.
Of course, Jake said.
Stay east so you dont cross Charlies path, Alice added.
Leah didnt look at Alice; she ducked out the back door and stomped into the bushes to phase.
Edward was back at my side, stroking my face. You can do this. I know you can. Ill help you; we all will.
I met Edwards eyes with panic screaming from my face. Was he strong enough to stop me if I made a wrong move?
If I didnt believe you could handle it, wed disappear today. This very minute. But you can. And youll be happier if you can have Charlie in your life.
I tried to slow my breathing.
Alice held out her hand. There was a small white box on her palm. These will irritate your eyesthey wont hurt, but theyll cloud your vision. Its annoying. They also wont match your old color, but its still better than bright red, right?
She flipped the contact box into the air and I caught it.
When did you
Before you left on the honeymoon. I was prepared for several possible futures.
I nodded and opened the container. Id never worn contacts before, but it couldnt be that hard. I took the little brown quarter-sphere and pressed it, concave side in, to my eye.
I blinked, and a film interrupted my sight. I could see through it, of course, but I could also see the texture of the thin screen. My eye kept focusing on the microscopic scratches and warped sections.
I see what you mean, I murmured as I stuck the other one in. I tried to not blink this time. My eye automatically wanted to dislodge the obstruction.
How do I look?
Edward smiled. Gorgeous. Of course
Yes, yes, she always looks gorgeous, Alice finished his thought impatiently. Its better than red, but thats the highest commendation I can give. Muddy brown. Your brown was much prettier. Keep in mind that those wont last foreverthe venom in your eyes will dissolve them in a few hours. So if Charlie stays longer than that, youll have to excuse yourself to replace them. Which is a good idea anyway, because humans need bathroom breaks. She shook her head. Esme, give her a few pointers on acting human while I stock the powder room with contacts.
How long do I have?
Charlie will be here in five minutes. Keep it simple.
Esme nodded once and came to take my hand. The main thing is not to sit too still or move too fast, she told me.
Sit down if he does, Emmett interjected. Humans dont like to just stand there.
Let your eyes wander every thirty seconds or so, Jasper added. Humans dont stare at one thing for too long.
Cross your legs for about five minutes, then switch to crossing your ankles for the next five, Rosalie said.
I nodded once at each suggestion. Id noticed them doing some of these things yesterday. I thought I could mimic their actions.
And blink at least three times a minute, Emmett said. He frowned, then darted to where the television remote sat on the end table. He flipped the TV on to a college football game and nodded to himself.
Move your hands, too. Brush your hair back or pretend to scratch something, Jasper said.
I said Esme, Alice complained as she returned. Youll overwhelm her.
No, I think I got it all, I said. Sit, look around, blink, fidget.
Right, Esme approved. She hugged my shoulders.
Jasper frowned. Youll be holding your breath as much as possible, but you need to move your should
ers a little to make it look like youre breathing.
I inhaled once and then nodded again.
Edward hugged me on my free side. You can do this, he repeated, murmuring the encouragement in my ear.
Two minutes, Alice said. Maybe you should start out already on the couch. Youve been sick, after all. That way he wont have to see you move right at first.
Alice pulled me to the sofa. I tried to move slowly, to make my limbs more clumsy. She rolled her eyes, so I must not have been doing a good job.
Jacob, I need Renesmee, I said.
Jacob frowned, unmoving.
Alice shook her head. Bella, that doesnt help me see.
But I need her. She keeps me calm. The edge of panic in my voice was unmistakable.
Fine, Alice groaned. Hold her as still as you can and Ill try to see around her. She sighed wearily, like shed been asked to work overtime on a holiday. Jacob sighed, too, but brought Renesmee to me, and then retreated quickly from Alices glare.
Edward took a seat beside me and put his arms around Renesmee and me. He leaned forward and looked Renesmee very seriously in the eyes.
Renesmee, someone special is coming to see you and your mother, he said in a solemn voice, as if he expected her to understand every word. Did she? She looked back at him with clear, grave eyes. But hes not like us, or even like Jacob. We have to be very careful with him. You shouldnt tell him things the way you tell us.
Renesmee touched his face.
Exactly, he said. And hes going to make you thirsty. But you mustnt bite him. He wont heal like Jacob.
Can she understand you? I whispered.
She understands. Youll be careful, wont you, Renesmee? Youll help us?
Renesmee touched him again.
No, I dont care if you bite Jacob. Thats fine.
Jacob chuckled.
Maybe you should leave, Jacob, Edward said coldly, glaring in his direction. Edward hadnt forgiven Jacob, because he knew that no matter what happened now, I was going to be hurting. But Id take the burn happily if that were the worst thing Id face tonight.
I told Charlie Id be here, Jacob said. He needs the moral support.
Moral support, Edward scoffed. As far as Charlie knows, youre the most repulsive monster of us all.
Repulsive? Jake protested, and then he laughed quietly to himself.
I heard the tires turn off the highway onto the quiet, damp earth of the Cullens drive, and my breathing spiked again. My heart ought to have been hammering. It made me anxious that my body didnt have the right reactions.
I concentrated on the steady thrumming of Renesmees heart to calm myself. It worked pretty quickly.
Well done, Bella, Jasper whispered in approval.
Edward tightened his arm over my shoulders.
Youre sure? I asked him.
Positive. You can do anything. He smiled and kissed me.
It wasnt precisely a peck on the lips, and my wild vampiric reactions took me off guard yet again. Edwards lips were like a shot of some addictive chemical straight into my nervous system. I was instantly craving more. It took all my concentration to remember the baby in my arms.
Jasper felt my mood change. Er, Edward, you might not want to distract her like that right now. She needs to be able to focus.
Edward pulled away. Oops, he said.
I laughed. That had been my line from the very beginning, from the very first kiss.
Later, I said, and anticipation curled my stomach into a ball.
Focus, Bella, Jasper urged.
Right. I pushed the trembly feelings away. Charlie, that was the main thing now. Keep Charlie safe today. We would have all night. . . .
Bella.
Sorry, Jasper.
Emmett laughed.
The sound of Charlies cruiser got closer and closer. The second of levity passed, and everyone was still. I crossed my legs and practiced my blinks.
The car pulled in front of the house and idled for a few seconds. I wondered if Charlie was as nervous as I was. Then the engine cut off, and a door slammed. Three steps across the grass, and then eight echoing thuds against the wooden stairs. Four more echoing footsteps across the porch. Then silence. Charlie took two deep breaths.
Knock, knock, knock.
I inhaled for what might be the last time. Renesmee nestled deeper into my arms, hiding her face in my hair.
Carlisle answered the door. His stressed expression changed to one of welcome, like switching the channel on the TV.
Hello, Charlie, he said, looking appropriately abashed. After all, we were supposed to be in Atlanta at the Center for Disease Control. Charlie knew hed been lied to.
Carlisle, Charlie greeted him stiffly. Wheres Bella?
Right here, Dad.
Ugh! My voice was so wrong. Plus, Id used up some of my air supply. I gulped in a quick refill, glad that Charlies scent had not saturated the room yet.
Charlies blank expression told me how off my voice was. His eyes zeroed in on me and widened.
I read the emotions as they scrolled across his face.
Shock. Disbelief. Pain. Loss. Fear. Anger. Suspicion. More pain.
I bit my lip. It felt funny. My new teeth were sharper against my granite skin than my human teeth had been against my soft human lips.
Is that you, Bella? he whispered.
Yep. I winced at my wind-chime voice. Hi, Dad.
He took a deep breath to steady himself.
Hey, Charlie, Jacob greeted him from the corner. Howre things?
Charlie glowered at Jacob once, shuddered at a memory, and then stared at me again.
Slowly, Charlie walked across the room until he was a few feet away from me. He darted an accusing glare at Edward, and then his eyes flickered back to me. The warmth of his body heat beat against me with each pulse of his heart.
Bella? he asked again.
I spoke in a lower voice, trying to keep the ring out of it. Its really me.
His jaw locked.
Im sorry, Dad, I said.
Are you okay? he demanded.
Really and truly great, I promised. Healthy as a horse.
That was it for my oxygen.
Jake told me this was necessary. That you were dying. He said the words like he didnt believe them one bit.
I steeled myself, focused on Renesmees warm weight, leaned into Edward for support, and took a deep breath.
Charlies scent was a fistful of flames, punching straight down my throat. But it was so much more than pain. It was a hot stabbing of desire, too. Charlie smelled more delicious than anything Id ever imagined. As appealing as the anonymous hikers had been on the hunt, Charlie was doubly tempting. And he was just a few feet away, leaking mouthwatering heat and moisture into the dry air.
But I wasnt hunting now. And this was my father.
Edward squeezed my shoulders sympathetically, and Jacob shot an apologetic glance at me across the room.
I tried to collect myself and ignore the pain and longing of the thirst. Charlie was waiting for my answer.
Jacob was telling you the truth.
That makes one of you, Charlie growled.
I hoped Charlie could see past the changes in my new face to read the remorse there.
Under my hair, Renesmee sniffed as Charlies scent registered with her, too. I tightened my grip on her.
Charlie saw my anxious glance down and followed it. Oh, he said, and all the anger fell off his face, leaving only shock behind. This is her. The orphan Jacob said youre adopting.
My niece, Edward lied smoothly. He must have decided that the resemblance between Renesmee and him was too pronounced to be ignored. Best to claim they were related from the beginning.
I thought youd lost your family, Charlie said, accusation returning to his voice.
I lost my parents. My older brother was adopted, like me. I never saw him after that. But the courts located me when he and his wife died in a car accident, leaving their only child without any other family.
&nbs
p; Edward was so good at this. His voice was even, with just the right amount of innocence. I needed practice so that I could do that.
Renesmee peeked out from under my hair, sniffing again. She glanced shyly at Charlie from under her long lashes, then hid again.
Shes shes, well, shes a beauty.
Yes, Edward agreed.
Kind of a big responsibility, though. You two are just getting started.
Breaking Dawn Page 41