Addicted

by Claire Adams

  "I think I will. I'd love to hang out again."

  "Oh, are you a big hiker?" I asked, dodging the obvious flirtation.

  "I could become one," he said. Oh boy, I thought. "When do you get off work?"

  "Depends on why you're asking."

  "Let's go somewhere for drinks," he suggested.

  "Can't," I said apologetically motioning to Makani.

  "Does she want to come, too?"

  "No, she's not going anywhere with you," Makani said.

  "Are you together or something?" he asked.

  "Ding, ding, ding," I said, laughing with Makani. I only used the island wife excuse when guys weren't taking no for an answer. There was no truth to it. Honestly, I was interested in Nate and this guy was doing nothing for me. He left me alone, falling back in the group.

  We got back to the hotel, walking up from the beach. The group started breaking up since we were on the familiar trail up to the hotel.

  "Abby?" I heard someone call behind me. I stopped. Makani stopped with me. Rayleigh was hurrying up the trail to catch up with me.

  "Is everything okay?" Makani asked.

  "She probably just wants to ask me something."

  "I'll wait over here," she said. Rayleigh caught up to me, with Hank.

  "Oh, my God. I knew you were familiar when we first saw you," she said, panting.

  "What are you talking about?" I asked her.

  "We know who you are. You're that girl. We heard the story years ago. Your father was the one who did all those killings in Texas," Hank said. My jaw dropped.

  "N-no. You definitely have the wrong person," I stammered.

  "No. Randall McCune. His daughter was the only survivor." My throat felt like it was being squeezed. No, no, no. How the hell did he find out? How did he know? I shook my head frantically, unable to get any words out.

  "Abby, could you come with me? Excuse us please, sir. We have to return to the hotel," I heard Makani say to Hank. I felt her take my arm and quickly pull me away from them. I let her pull me along like a ragdoll. I felt empty, like someone had knocked me over the head and I still hadn't gotten my bearings back yet.

  Makani was speaking the entire way up to the main hotel building, but I didn't hear a thing she said. We passed the desk and went straight into the employee changing room. She pushed me down onto a bench so I could sit.

  "Abby, Abby?" she said shaking my shoulders. I met her eyes. She looked worried.

  "Who told them?" I asked.

  "I don't know. They must have found out from somewhere. Are you all right?" she asked.

  I sighed. Was I? No. I wasn't. He had said his name. I had tried for years to forget that name. It plunged me right back where it had happened. My father. My mother. Her screaming. Him yelling. The knife against my neck. I felt like I was going to be sick. I shot up.

  "Where is Joseph?" I asked her.

  "His office. Why?"

  "I have to go."

  "I'll come with you," she said.

  "I just need a little time. I'm okay," I assured her.

  "Are you sure?" she asked. I nodded.

  "I'm coming to your house tonight."

  "I'll call you," I said.

  "Abby," she said.

  "I'm fine. Just a little shook up," I told her, trying to convince myself at the same time.

  "If you don't call, I'm coming over," she said resolutely. I nodded. She let me go. I knocked loudly on Joseph's door. He barked for me to come inside.

  "Mr. Kalo, I-"

  "Back already?" he asked, cutting me off.

  "Yes, sir. I know its short notice, but I have to ask for the rest of the day off," I said hurriedly.

  "Today isn't your day off," he said.

  "I know, but it’s an emergency. I have to... I can't.... I would never ask for this unless I had to," I said desperately.

  "What's the matter with you? Are you sick?" he asked.

  "I'm just not feeling very good after that hike," I said. I was barely hanging on, I didn't want to cry in front of my boss, but I was getting very close to doing just that.

  "I can't let you go today," he said.

  A sob fought its way out of my mouth before I could stop it. I clamped my hand over my mouth to stop myself, but I was too late. I was already gone. I bent in half, sobbing. I felt like my whole world had just shattered and everything I had built for myself in Lanai was going to be ruined.

  "Oh my God," I heard Joseph say over my sobs. I heard him move and felt his hands on my back. "Just leave. Take the rest of the day off and come back tomorrow," he said awkwardly. I tried to speak to thank him, but I couldn't. He patted my back woodenly, gently ushering me outside.

  I went back to the changing room and washed my face. God. How embarrassing. I quickly left, not bothering to change out of my hiking gear. I just needed a minute. I’d be fine after a couple hours alone.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Nate

  It was about lunch time when I got back to the resort. Noon: the time I'd usually be getting up. This was nice. You actually got a lot done when you woke up earlier in the day. Who knew?

  I wanted to see Abby. Her boss and I had an understanding. I'd just ask him to let me steal her away on a tour of the island or something. He'd let her if it was me. I wanted to start now. We'd go out to eat or something. Or even stay in my suite together and order food up. Go to the beach, stay at her house. Anything. I just wanted it to be with her.

  I got to the main building, making a beeline for the desk before I stopped short. The person there wasn't a gorgeous, petite blonde. It wasn't Makani, either. I slowed down walking over to her.

  "Good afternoon, sir; how are you today?" she asked me, smiling.

  "Great. Thanks. Where is Abby? She's usually at this desk. I need to talk to her."

  "Abby isn't working today. I'm sure I'll be able to assist you with your inquiry."

  "Why not? Where is she?"

  "I'm afraid I can't answer that for you. She took the rest of the day off. What did you want to ask her? I'm sure I can help you," she said.

  "Where is the manager? I need to talk to him," I said. I watched her face as she seemed to sit there and contemplate whether she was going to do what I had just asked her to do.

  "One moment, please," she said. She picked her phone up and dialed a number.

  "Are you calling him?" I asked. She nodded, answering the phone. "Tell him Nate Stone wants to talk to him," I said.

  "One moment, sir. I'll be right with you," she said to me placing her hand on the mouthpiece.

  "Let me talk to him," I said again, louder. I was getting irritated. She listened to her boss on the phone for a few seconds before she looked at me.

  "Mr. Kalo has asked to speak to you," she said quietly, handing me the receiver. Didn't I fucking tell her? I put the phone to my ear.

  "Hello?"

  "Mr. Stone. How are you?”

  "Yeah, great. I need to know where Abby is," I said, impatiently.

  "Abby requested to take the rest of the day off," he said

  "Why? Where did she go?"

  "She said it was an emergency. She will be back at her station tomorrow morning," he said. I thanked him and handed the phone back to the desk girl. I walked away, up towards my suite.

  Emergency. She had had an emergency. What did that even mean? Where the hell would she go? Something in me hoped that when I opened my suite, she'd be up there. That she'd have gotten one of the people from housekeeping or something to let her in and wanted to surprise me.

  Would she really lie like that to get out of work just to see me? It seemed a little unlikely, that wasn't her, even if I sort of wished that was something that she would have done. She loved her work. I got to my suite and threw the door open, walking straight to the bedroom. It was empty. Spotless, but empty. I checked the other rooms, even the deck, looking for her. She wasn't there.

  Stay calm, man. Everything is fine. I was probably just looking in the wrong place. I nee
ded to check her house before I started jumping to conclusions. I went back down the stairs and started down the trail Keno and I had used to get to her house the night before. This was the first place I should have come looking for her, I thought. She was there taking care of whatever her emergency was.

  I got down to the beach and walked up to her back porch, climbing the short flight of stairs. I banged on the door, knocking.

  "Abby?" I called. Nothing. I knocked again, calling her name louder. Still nothing. I couldn't even hear anything inside. I walked around the house and tried the door on the other side. Same thing. Nothing.

  Shit. She was a grown woman and this was where she lived, but now I was getting worried. Where the hell was she? I started back up towards the hotel. Her boss had said that she had an emergency, but if that was what it was, why had Makani been gone, too? What was going on?

  I didn't want to freak out and then find she had just gone to the store or something. Where was Makani? She was her best friend, she had to know something. Keno was her friend, too; maybe he knew something. He was at the bar. I took a detour, heading for the bar instead of the hotel building. I spotted Keno where he usually was. With him was Makani, strangely. She was sitting at the bar across from him.

  "Nate," Keno said, noticing me. Makani stopped talking and watched me as I approached, smiling when she saw me.

  "Looks like Abby and I weren't the only ones who made up last night,” I said walking over to them. I saw Makani blush while Keno laughed.

  "Your girl knows how to put together a good night," he said. Good night? Yup, he had definitely gotten lucky, I thought.

  "Looks like everyone got what they wanted," I said.

  "You were down at the beach?" Makani asked.

  "No, well, yeah. I actually went to check on Abby."

  "Is she all right?" Makani asked. I blinked.

  "You don't know?"

  "Know what? She left earlier. She told me she needed a little time. Was she all right when you talked to her?"

  "I didn't. She wasn't there. I wanted to ask you whether you knew where she could be." Makani and Keno exchanged glances.

  "Can't help you, brother; I haven't seen her since last night," said Keno.

  "Just wait for her. She should be back before nightfall."

  "What happened?" I asked her. She bit her lip, looking down for a second.

  "There was a little…incident in the morning when we were working."

  "What?"

  "It isn't my place to tell you. She will if she feels like she should. She isn't in trouble. She's a strong girl, Nate. Don't worry about her. Just wait. Let her come back when she's had time to think."

  "Are you serious?" I spat.

  "Nate, come on. Relax," Keno said.

  "How can you two just stand there when Abby's missing?" I demanded.

  "She isn't missing. She just needs a little time alone. We know her. She'll come back when she's ready." I ran my hands through my hair.

  "Just tell me if you see her, okay?" I said. They both agreed that they would. I walked back to the hotel. She wasn't there, I had already checked. Where was I going? My suite? Sure. Why not? I'd be spending the afternoon alone anyway. Might as well play or try to write.

  I got to my suite and fell on the bed, lying on my back. Great. Now what? I reached for my phone, remembering I didn't have her cell number. I laughed a little. Why the hell hadn't I asked her for it? Now I had to wait for her to show up from wherever she had gone to hide.

  If something had happened at work and she had had to leave, she must have been upset about it. Whatever it was, it had been bad enough to knock her off her game for the rest of the day. It wasn't an injury or anything. She hadn't been hurt. Keno and Makani wouldn't have refused to tell me what the deal was if that was it.

  I just wished I knew. I wanted to know so that I could be with her wherever she was. If something bad had happened, why hadn't she told me? What the hell could it even be? I thought we had cleared the air between us, like she could feel like she could tell me things now. Did she still not trust me?

  No. Fuck this. I couldn't wait. I had to know where she was. That would have been great if she was in one of the places I fucking knew where to look for her. The island was only so big, but I didn't have her cell number. Where else was there?

  What was wrong? I didn't know how Keno and Makani were just letting it be. Did she do this often? Was that why they were easy breezy about it? She was just so great all the time, happy and optimistic. This wasn't like her. Something was wrong, and I knew it would eat at me until I knew what it was.

  Where the fuck are you, Abby? I thought. Why the hell didn't she come here? I could have helped her, whatever it was. I wanted to help her. Look at all the shit she had already done for me. It all felt like so long ago, that night she kept me from using; we were right here on the bed. It was the first night we spent together, right after coming back from...

  Fuck. That was it. I stood up and bolted for the door. I needed to find Keno – I knew where she was. I used the stairs, racing down them and walking quickly out to the bar. Keno was still there but Makani had gone.

  "Hey, you're back," he said.

  "Yeah. Listen, I need to ask you a favor," I said hurriedly.

  "What is it?"

  "Can I borrow your car? I need to go somewhere, like, right now."

  "Sure, no problem," he said, reaching into his pocket, handing me a bunch of keys. "Where are you going?"

  "I can't explain, but it's important," I said. He smiled knowingly.

  "Just have it back by the time my shift is over. Go get her."

  Chapter Thirty

  Abby

  I watched a turtle shuffle slowly out of the water up onto the beach. I had been sitting there for a while, but I'd lost track of time. I wasn't crying anymore. Now I was just tired. My mind wasn't racing anymore. I was just upset. Shaken.

  I hadn't thought about what I would do if anyone knew who I was in a long time. I mean, I wasn't even that person anymore. I hadn't used that name or looked like that in years.

  It was like being dunked headfirst into really cold water. Part of me thought I should have known that it would happen eventually and the other half was just really comfortable believing everything had happened in the past and the rest of the world had left it there like I had.

  I hated it had been that easy to unsettle me. It wasn't like I was in danger or anything. My father was dying in prison. I wasn't in contact with anybody who had known me in the past, and if they wanted to track me down, they wouldn't be able to. I had changed my name and years had changed my appearance.

  All that was left was that scar.

  Was that what had given it away? I wasn't even sure that that was common knowledge. I had never read any of the articles written about what had happened. Why would I? I had been there. I knew what had happened. I'd probably never forget.

  It was just upsetting. That was it. I had left Texas. I hadn't even stepped foot on the mainland since I had landed on Lanai. As far as I was concerned, Frances McCune didn't exist anymore. Abby Terrell had taken her place. She had made something of herself and had a place she could call home, far away from the ugly things that had happened. She had friends, people who loved her. People who treated her like a normal girl and not a sideshow freak because of the things that her father had done.

  I hated that it was still who I was: that monster's daughter. I hated that as much as I had tried, I wasn't allowed to just be me anymore. I’d had my life taken from me and all the years here that I had spent trying to have something that I could call mine because I had built it by myself were all for nothing. He hadn't killed me, but Randall McCune – my father – had taken my life.

  I concentrated on the natural sounds around me. The water and the wind. I concentrated on what was real and I could feel. The things that mattered. It calmed me down, coming here and being able to hear my own thoughts. I was alone, but it wasn't lonely. It was noisy, but it wasn't
deafening. My own little place I knew I could run when it was me who had made the choice to. Not where I had to hide because my father had made living impossible.

  I thought about going back, but I wasn't ready yet. The worst had passed; now I just wanted to regroup before I had to pretend like nothing was wrong again. I knew I could do it. It would just take time, more time to get me back to a place where it didn't plague me so much anymore.

  I looked behind me, suddenly hearing a sound. There was someone else on the beach. I smiled sadly realizing who it was.

  I sat quietly as he approached and sat next to me in his dark jeans and shirt.

  "How did you know where to find me?" I asked him.

  "You told me this is where you came to get away," he said.

  "Why did you come after me if you knew that was what I wanted to do?"

  "Because you were there for me when I needed you. I wanted to make sure you were okay."

  "Well, you can see," I said shrugging. "I'm fine."

  "Are you sure?" he asked. I looked at him. He was looking at me. "If I fucked up, if I did something last night, I need you to tell me. I'm not smart enough to figure it out on my own," he said. I raised my eyebrows.

  "Nate, it wasn't you. Last night was amazing. This was something else."

  "I wish you came to me instead of running away," he said.

  "I didn't run away."

  "I was looking everywhere for you. Nobody knew where you were."

  "I'm sorry I worried you. I just needed some time to cool off."

  "What happened?" he asked gently.

  I was silent. I carried the secret of what had happened like it was me who had committed the crime and not my father. If I told him, yet another person would know my secret shame. What if he thought it made me fucked up and a monster like my father? What if he knew that if it ever got out, the media would be all over me and that wasn't what he wanted? What if he just thought I was somehow guilty by association and didn't want to handle my baggage?

  "I can't say," I whispered.

  "What could it possibly be? There's no way it’s worse than what I told you."

  "It might be," I warned.

  "I don't care. I want to help you," he said. Just do it, I thought. What was the worst thing he could do? Leave? He was going to do that anyway. I took a deep breath.