Brawler

by Charity Parkerson

  “What time is weigh-in?’

  “One,” Remy said. His tone gave nothing away.

  “What time are you headed over?”

  He felt Remy shrug. “There’s no sense in leaving before twelve thirty. If I get there early, it’ll mean more interviews and signing shit. Sponsors will want pictures of me with their products. I’d rather not get started any earlier than necessary.”

  Aden glanced at the clock beside the bed. “So I have three hours to spoil you before you go.”

  “You don’t have to do that.”

  He didn’t. Aden knew that already, but not only did he want to, he could hear the smile in Remy’s voice. Aden needed to keep the man happy like water was a requirement to live. After placing a long and noisy kiss to the side of Remy’s neck, Aden climbed from the bed.

  “Don’t move from that spot,” he ordered. Aden took two steps before a thought struck and he paused. “Unless you’re making a quick trip to the bathroom. You’re allowed that. Otherwise, you’re to stay in bed.”

  “If you’re forcing me,” Remy said on a laugh. “I guess I’ll suck it up and be lazy.”

  “Aye, you will,” Aden said, using his bossiest tone. He didn’t wait to see if Remy complied. It was his turn to make breakfast.

  *

  After enjoying an amazing breakfast together, Aden made Remy stay put at the kitchen table while he disappeared into the bedroom. Remy humored him. His gaze strayed to the chair where he’d teased Aden the night before last. The belts still dangled from the chair’s arms. Housekeeping had come and gone since then. He wondered what they thought of the sight. A smile touched Remy’s lips before slowly fading away. This was it for them. They could talk about trying to make things work between them, but they now lived on opposite sides of the country. Aden couldn’t move here. Even if the man was willing, Remy couldn’t let him. The last thing Aden needed was to slip back into the life they’d had before. Key Largo was a small town with minimal pressure. Just what Aden needed to stay well. Here, the success was everything. Remy couldn’t go back to loving an addict.

  The muscles in Remy’s stomach clenched at the thought. He never let himself think about what those days had been like. Most of the time, their relationship had been a normal one. Aden had been using for so long he’d become a high-functioning addict. That sounded like it wasn’t as bad as a junkie who lived in the streets, always searching for the next high. It wasn’t better. In fact, it was terrifying, because Aden could hide his problem. He could hold entire conversations with people without giving himself away. Get behind the wheel of a car. Train a man to fight. Pass out and die.

  Remy had lived in constant fear of waking up next to a dead man. No one could understand the terror unless they’d been there. Loving an addict was emotional blackmail. He couldn’t leave Aden because addiction is an illness. Remy never had the option to walk away. His heart equally didn’t care Aden was sick. Love had trapped Remy like a giant spider web and he’d lain still—unsure of which way it would destroy him.

  Aden reappeared. The man’s T-shirt strained against his muscles. His workout shorts left nothing to the imagination, letting Remy know Aden hadn’t bothered with underwear. It hit Remy—that giant web had ensnared him again at some point in the last few days. His heart turned over in his chest. In what way would Aden destroy him this time? Remy already wasn’t the same.

  His chin lifted as Aden moved closer until he was staring up at Aden hovering over him. “Come on, my heart,” Aden said, taking Remy’s hands. “It’s bath time.”

  Remy chewed his bottom lip as Aden pulled him to his feet. Emotion weighed so heavily on Remy’s shoulders, his every step felt awkward. The large garden tub came into view. Water filled the porcelain almost to the brim. Bubbles and steam called Remy’s name as Aden helped strip Remy’s clothes away. As the water engulfed him, Remy mused over how it was the perfect temperature. It seemed wrong somehow for Aden to do everything so goddamn right. The knowledge hurt and Remy didn’t even know why. Aden sat down beside the tub. He toyed with Remy’s fingers. His silence was Remy’s strength. That felt unfair, given the circumstances.

  He didn’t want this to end. Every second that passed was another inch in the gulf widening between them. Ugly thoughts crowded his brain. Remy couldn’t understand why life had given him so much yet so little. He had more money than he could spend in two lifetimes thanks to holding the title for three years. Except for a few charities, he rarely spent a dime. All he did was go to No Rival and train to hold on to the title that brought him more money that he never spent. The ride was more of a merry-go-round than an adventure. In the back of his mind, Remy held tight to a secret. One he feared to ever speak. It felt wrong and ungrateful when so many other people struggled every day, but the truth was there—hiding. He hated his life. At the thought, Remy sucked in a deep breath, trying to lock down the pain. No one could ever know.

  “Are you nervous about tonight?”

  Remy tried pulling his head out of his ass at Aden’s question. “Yeah.”

  “You’ve got nothing to worry about.”

  “I know,” Remy said, because it was obvious Aden needed the reassurance.

  “All you have to do is show up, and you’ll have this fight won.”

  Remy could tell Aden was searching for a way to fix Remy’s growing dark mood. Remy forced a smile for Aden. He didn’t want the man worrying. The problem was—Remy no longer knew if he cared to win. Aden’s flight was leaving after Remy’s fight and there was so much unsaid between them. Remy tried calming his nerves over the upcoming fight, but all he could think about was Aden going back to Key Largo. He’d be left behind again in this town where he couldn’t fucking breathe. Remy didn’t trust anyone anymore, and he didn’t want to be anyone’s friend. He no longer knew if this place sucked the life from him or if he hated everything everywhere.

  Aden stood to leave. “I’ll light some candles in the bedroom so you can relax there when you finish here.”

  He couldn’t take any more of feeling like Aden tiptoed around him. “I dream about you,” Remy said before Aden could get away. From the corner of his eye, Remy saw Aden freeze, but Remy couldn’t look the man’s way as he made his confession. “Do you remember how we used to buy each other a puzzle every year for Christmas? On Christmas day, we’d sit on the floor with you on one side of the coffee table and me on the other. We’d spend all day in silence, piecing together our puzzles while playing footsy under the table.” Remy couldn’t even smile at the memory because those days had turned into nightmares for him. “Since Cornerman was closed on Christmas, it was the one day in the year we were free to be together in peace without worrying someone would find out about us and you’d lose your job. At least once a week, I dream about those days together. Then I wake up, and for a few seconds, I live in blissful ignorance.” Remy swallowed past the pain. He needed to have his say. “Since you left me, those beautiful memories have turned into something ugly. I thought we were working on making our own traditions. Now all I can do is wonder if what I thought was beautiful was really just boring the hell out of you.”

  Aden walked back to the edge of the tub and stood over Remy. His expression gave no clue to his thoughts. Remy didn’t know why he couldn’t stop rehashing things. He didn’t understand why this lingering depression wouldn’t let him go. Since Aden had shown up in Vegas, Remy wanted to set the past aside and try again. There was a weight sitting on his chest and crushing him that Remy couldn’t seem to crawl out from underneath.

  “I still have the last puzzle I bought you. It’s all wrapped up and sitting on the shelf in my closet.”

  That hurt. It had been two weeks before Christmas when Aden had tried to kill himself. Remy remembered the date well. His house had already been decorated. He’d torn down everything Christmas related, packed it up, and set it on the curb for the garbage men to pick up. He hadn’t celebrated again since. Oh, he still went to see his mom and did the present exchange, but t
hat was where the holidays ended for Remy.

  Aden went down onto his knees beside the tub. “I think I need to say a lot of things to you I never wanted you to hear. The thing is, I don’t want to hurt you anymore, and I don’t know which is worse—telling you everything or pretending it didn’t happen.”

  Remy held his silence because he couldn’t make that decision. He was too rundown by life.

  For a moment, Aden stared at some point over Remy’s shoulder before meeting his gaze. He could tell by the hard set to Aden’s jaw, he’d made his choice. “You were the reason I got up every morning. That is, when I actually slept. God knows, for a long time, I had nothing else to look forward to. Sometimes, I would go days when I didn’t eat or sleep. Nobody knew. There was no peace or quiet in my life. The phone always rang. People wanted me to train them. Sponsors wanted me to train fighters they needed to win. The gym wanted me to make a star out of every single client no matter how unreasonable that request might be. Oh my God, Remy. I couldn’t feckin’ breathe.”

  He couldn’t look away from Aden’s expression. Remy understood what Aden meant. He hadn’t taken a proper breath since winning the title three years ago.

  Aden shook his head. “The only happiness I ever had was when I was with you. Even then, I wanted to do everything within my power to help you be a winner, because I needed you to have the world. Only then would it make sense for you to be with me. Otherwise, why the feck would you want to be with me. I was a bloody mess.” Aden took a deep breath. His chest expanded with the motion, and Remy almost begged him not to say anything else. He knew he wouldn’t like what Aden had to say—felt it in his bones. “When I woke up in that bed next to Boston, it was like the last good thing inside me shriveled and died.” Aden crossed his arms over his stomach as if trying to protect himself from the memories. “I still wish I’d died,” Aden whispered, bringing a rush of hot tears to Remy’s eyes because of the pure honesty in Aden’s confession. The man honest-to-God meant every word.

  His lungs burned, making Remy realize he held his breath.

  “This life I have,” Aden said, still whispering as if he couldn’t say the words any louder or he might break. “It isn’t worth a damned thing.” Aden gripped the edge of the tub on either side of Remy and leaned in until only an inch separated them as if impressing his words upon Remy. “You have been the only good part of me. I was never bored. You were never lacking. I am the failure here and I am so goddamn sorry.”

  Because he couldn’t stand it any longer, Remy snagged two handfuls of Aden’s shirt and tugged, pulling the man forward. Their lips met. The world righted itself and Remy could breathe again. Aden climbed into the tub—shorts and all. Water splashed over the edge of the tub, pooling on the floor. Remy’s laughter reverberated off the bathroom walls.

  “Oh my God, crazy. What are you doing?”

  While straddling Remy’s hips, Aden sat back on his heels and reached over his head. He peeled his wet shirt up and over his head before tossing it aside. “Joining you,” Aden answered before covering Remy’s mouth once more with his. Remy savored the man’s deep and seeking kiss before losing patience. He wanted to drape himself over Aden’s body like a blanket and hang on forever. Remy pushed and shoved until he had Aden sitting opposite of him. After going up on his knees, he peeled the man’s shorts down his hips.

  “I hope your phone wasn’t in your pocket.”

  Aden shook his head while watching Remy with a heated gaze. “I don’t need my phone when you’re around.”

  “Good,” Remy said as he worked the shorts down Aden’s hips. It wasn’t easy, but Remy didn’t stop until he had Aden nude. With the man’s soaked clothes ruining the floor, Remy straddled Aden’s hips and melted against him. He pressed his forehead to Aden’s and stared into the man’s gorgeous green eyes. Up close, he could make out the flecks of gold around the edges. Remy breathed deep. By tonight, Aden would be gone. He wanted to remember every detail. Because he couldn’t resist, Remy captured Aden’s mouth once more. He kept their kiss short. This wasn’t about sex for him and they were both getting turned on.

  “You’re supposed to be relaxing,” Aden fussed as Remy wiggled closer, finding a comfortable spot.

  “I am.” With his body pressed as close as he could get, Remy sank into Aden and buried his face against the man’s neck. With steam rising around them and every inch touching, it was a perfect moment. Remy never wanted it to end.

  “What do you want to do in our last two hours together?”

  “This,” Remy said, sounding tired even to his ears. “Just this.”

  The water turned colder as the minutes passed. He tried keeping his mind blank. It didn’t work. Instead, Remy ran through every conversation they’d had since Aden came into town. He didn’t want to have any regrets. If there was something he’d left unsaid, he needed to say it now before the water got cold and they were over. There was only one thing that came to mind that he knew he couldn’t live without Aden knowing. “God help me. I still love you.”

  *

  I still love you. Those words hadn’t stopped running through Aden’s head since they’d left Remy’s mouth. From that moment on, the rest of the day became a haze for Aden. He’d thought he’d known what he’d be losing by going back home after Remy’s fight. Turned out, Aden hadn’t known shit. Drew’s offer to stay was taking root in the back of Aden’s mind, warring it out with what Aden knew was the right thing to do. He couldn’t stay here. As much as he’d like to believe that loving Remy made him too strong to fall into old habits, he couldn’t take that risk. Somehow, Remy’s love had survived the last round. It wouldn’t survive a second betrayal.

  As Aden had predicted, the second Remy’s weigh-in had been complete, he’d been swept away by a flood of reporters. The last Aden had seen of Remy, he’d been talking quietly with Daniel. At the sight, Aden had bitten back a snort. Remy had called it. It didn’t matter if people knew Daniel would print every word they said, he still got all the goods.

  Now, sitting surrounded by people he didn’t know, Aden wondered why they’d chosen not to say goodbye. Any minute, Remy would finish final inspection with the judges and dip into the ring. It would be the last time Aden would set eyes on the man. I still love you. Damn. Life was unfair. It seemed wrong for such a beautiful love to be so destructive.

  Remy ducked between the ropes and the crowd lost their minds. Aden’s chest swelled with pride. That was his baby, getting everything he deserved in life. Rules were read. Aden couldn’t look away from Remy’s expression. He looked eerily calm—not like he’d gone into fight mode, but like he wasn’t even there. The muscles in Aden’s stomach clenched. The bell rang, signaling the first round and Remy came out, landing the first blow. Aden’s shoulders relaxed. He was seeing things that weren’t there, projecting his nervousness on Remy. Remy was the clear winner. His every move was perfect.

  Each round was timed at three minutes. By the eighth, Aden was ready to chew through the ropes. Remy bled under one eye but was leading in points and looked ten times in better shape than his opponent. That man was bleeding in at least four spots and looked ready to collapse at any moment. When round ten began, Aden’s only consolation was that it was almost over. He wondered if he’d be the one who went down from the exhaustion of it all. One minute in, Remy’s opponent drew back to strike. It was a slow movement—one obviously hindered by the man’s weariness. Remy saw the move coming too. Aden had trained the man too long to misread his movements. He’d repositioned his hands, prepared to block. His feet shifted slightly. At the last second, Remy dropped his hands and took the hit. He went down. Aden’s breath left his lungs. It wasn’t possible. He’d seen it with his own eyes. But still, it wasn’t possible. He listened to the count. Remy didn’t budge. The count ended along with the match. Still, Aden couldn’t look away from Remy. The man had thrown his match. It hadn’t been an accident. The dude hadn’t beaten Remy or thrown a lucky punch. Aden had watched Remy drop those hands a
t just the right moment. He’d purposely taken a dive. He’d lost the title.

  Aden tried everything to make his way to the back and get to Remy. By the time he found someone he could charm with his credentials, it was only to be informed Remy had already left the building. Security had sneaked the man out the back as soon as the bout ended. Aden called. He texted. Tried going by the hotel. Remy was nowhere to be found. His flight was leaving. They were over. Remy’s career was in the toilet and Aden didn’t know how to feel. Mostly, he felt useless. This was the second huge milestone in Remy’s life that Aden hadn’t been allowed to be a part of. The night Remy had won the title, Cornerman gym had kept him away. Now, Remy had learned to live without him and obviously didn’t need him. In the end, it didn’t matter how much Aden wanted to be a part of Remy’s life. The man had disappeared, leaving Aden no other choice but to go home.

  Chapter 8

  Remy wiped his palms on his jeans before knocking. Damn, he’d never thought this day would come. Then again, his life hadn’t been normal as of late. When the door swung wide, Remy almost took a step back. The man standing in the doorway was easily one of the most gorgeous men Remy had ever seen. His nervousness level shot through the roof.

  “You must be Gunnar’s husband. I’m sorry. I don’t know your name.”

  The man’s light green eyes sparkled with kindness. Remy felt sick. “Yes. I’m Liam.”

  Remy wiped his hands on his jeans again. “I’m Remy,” Remy said, as if that explained anything to a complete stranger. Of course, there was also the possibility that Gunnar cursed his name every other day. “Is Gunnar around?”

  Liam shook his head. His shaggy brown hair moved in time with the motion, looking soft and perfect. Still, Remy kind of wanted to style it differently. “Sorry. He went for a run a while ago, but he should be back any minute if you’d like to come inside and wait.”

  Remy took a step back at the offer. He tried smiling. Unfortunately, he feared it looked closer to a grimace. “No. Thank you. He wouldn’t appreciate me being alone with you. I’ll come back another time.”