Once or twice in a moment of weakness, she might have admitted how much she missed having Lincoln around. Even though he wasn’t far away, it didn’t help. She no longer felt that consuming anger but was still so uncertain of how she wanted to proceed.
Matteo caressed her cheek. “You need this. He needs this. Both of you obviously love each other very deeply, or else neither of you would be where you are now.”
“I was being nice to him.”
He chuckled. “It’s more than that, and you know it.”
“I’m too stressed.” The excuse sounded feeble to her.
Again he laughed. “Nice try. You weren’t too stressed when you tried to walk the half mile to see him.”
She grimaced. “Do you have to keep bringing that up?”
“You scared the hell outta me.”
“Language,” she reminded him, nodding toward Melodee. “I said I was sorry.”
He stroked her hair. “Still not gonna forgive you for that.”
She chuckled.
“Seriously, love, you’ve put off seeing him long enough. I’m here for you, whatever you decide. You know that, but I also know how much you love Lincoln.” Matteo leaned over and kissed her. “You miss him and want him home. What’s wrong with that?”
“What if he hasn’t changed? What if he keeps secrets again or unleashes another madman because he’s jealous? What if he makes you go away again?” Randa held his gaze, allowing him to see her fear and anxiety.
He didn’t flinch beneath her unwavering stare. “He won’t make me leave. I was stupid to let him run me away in the first place. I will spend the rest of my life proving that I’m worthy of your love and trust, Randa. Just believe the only way to be rid of me is death.”
Slightly mollified, she sat back. “But what about Linc?”
Matteo patted her thigh as he stood. “You won’t know until you give him a chance.” He crossed the room and opened the door.
Lincoln stepped in the room, and Matteo closed the door behind him. Randa’s breath stilled. She hadn’t seen him in months. He’d lost weight and gained more muscle. His hair now brushed his collar. She rather liked the longer length on him.
“I’ll leave you two alone, but I won’t be far,” Matteo said. The latter was said for Lincoln’s benefit.
Lincoln smiled. “I promise not to stress her.”
Matteo nodded. “C’mon, ladybug. You can help me make lunch.”
Melodee hastily picked up her coloring book and crayons, scrambled to her feet, then rushed out of the room. She returned a few minutes later empty-handed, gave Lincoln a quick hug, and ran out again. Matteo followed.
“She’s getting so big.”
“Yes, she is. And she’s happy too,” Randa answered. She watched Lincoln. So many things skipped through her mind, but all she wanted to do at the moment was jump into his arms and bury her face in his neck.
“BABY, YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL,” Lincoln said, his voice full of emotion. Matteo had given his regular updates on Randa, but seeing her glow of pregnancy was overwhelming. He wanted to gather her close and hold her in his arms, place his ear on her belly, and revel in the fact that she was expanding their family.
In that second, he realized how much he would lose if he didn’t embrace compersion, the ability to derive pleasure or enjoyment from her happiness with another romantic relationship, as she had.
His wife had done that, despite all the hurt he put her through, and if he was going to mend this with Randa, he had to be willing to do that now.
“Thank you. You’re looking pretty good yourself.”
He patted his flat stomach. “Matteo is a taskmaster when it comes to rehab. The man wouldn’t let me quit, even when I had my pity parties.” Lincoln crossed the room to where she sat on the chaise, and waited. He wanted to be close to her but wasn’t sure if she would want that.
“Sit. Please. You’re making my neck hurt.”
He knelt next to her and almost smiled at the disappointment flashing across her face. She did want him next to her. “I’ve missed you, Randa.”
Tears misted her eyes, and she blinked a few times before she spoke. He placed a finger on her lips.
“I want—need one more chance to prove I’ve changed.”
She opened her mouth to speak and closed it again when he shook his head.
He rushed on before he lost his nerve. “I don’t deserve another chance with you; I know that. I can’t promise I won’t make mistakes, but I need you to know I love you, Randa.”
“It was never about you loving me; I was secure in that. In my place as your wife. You didn’t trust or respect me.”
He lowered his head. What could he say? She was absolutely correct. “I know. For that I’m truly sorry.”
“How do I know you’re not going to sabotage me and Matteo again?” Her gaze bored into his.
Unable to bear the weight of her scrutiny, Lincoln stared at a spot over her shoulder. “I’ve had five months to be alone, knowing that every day Matteo was taking care of you when I should’ve been there to share in the ups and downs. That I was missing out on one of the most important events of our lives. That Matteo stepped into a role that was rightfully mine, and I had nothing.” He cleared his throat and focused on her again. “For years I had all of you, when he had just a part. Then he had all of you, and I had nothing. That’s not how I want to live the rest of my time on this earth.” He lifted her hand and held it between both of his. “I want to be a part of our child’s life, and more importantly, I want to be a part of your life again, Randa. Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?”
Disappointment coursed through Lincoln when Randa shook off his hand. She didn’t want him touching her after all. When she guided his hand to a spot on her belly, he forgot to breathe. The strong kick squeezed his heart, and love leaked from his eyes. He’d never experienced this before. Randa hadn’t been far enough along the first time, but now… He stared into her eyes, his smile wide enough to crack his face. He read the same joy and wonderment in Randa’s face.
“That’s our son, Lincoln. He will know what wonderful men his fathers are.” She held his gaze. “Can you live with that? Can you live with Matteo loving me and me loving him?”
Lincoln picked up her left hand, pleased to see she still wore her wedding rings and one other. Lightly he traced the braided gold design on the third band. “Matteo came to me a couple of months ago, and he asked if he could add a ring to ours. He needed you to know he would be there for you no matter what.” Lincoln kissed her fingertips. “I realized he loved you every bit as much as I do. Even if I’d said no, he’d have found some other outward symbol to show the world you belong to him as well. So yes. Yes, I can be happy that you two love each other.”
“I’ve missed you so much, Lincoln.”
He drew her to him and held her tight, burying his face in her hair. He breathed deep, allowing her faint chocolate scent to surround him. God, how he missed her. Her forgiveness was something he wasn’t going to throw away again. Lincoln said he was happy for her, for them, and God help him, he was. He’d rather share her with Matteo than have nothing at all.
The floor creaked behind them. Lincoln lifted his head but didn’t release his wife.
“Oh, good. I see everyone has made up.” Matteo breezed in the room and set a tray of water and sandwiches on the table closer to Randa. “I brought lunch, and I’m having everything moved back into your room.”
Randa wiped moist eyes. “How did you know I would agree?”
He handed her a bottle of water as Lincoln lifted her legs, sat down, and placed her feet in his lap. “You don’t hold grudges long, and despite all his flaws and warts, you do belong with Lincoln.”
“Gee, thanks, man.” Lincoln picked up the plate of sandwiches.
Matteo grinned. “Anytime. I’ll keep Melodee entertained while you two talk. We have a bet on how many carrots I can fit in my mouth at one time.”
Randa planted her fa
ce in her palm. “Seriously?” She looked at Lincoln. “They do stuff like this all the time.”
“It’s a great way to get her to eat her veggies,” Matteo argued.
“Well, don’t choke.” Lincoln held the plate toward Randa. “Melodee loves her daddy Matt.”
Randa lifted a brow. “I noticed she started calling you that.”
Matteo had the grace to blush. “Yeah. Well. Eat.” He turned to leave.
Randa giggled and selected a sandwich.
“Matteo?” Lincoln called him back.
He turned, brow furrowed in question.
“Thanks.”
Matteo nodded. “Welcome to the family.”
Loose Id Titles by Lynn Chantale
Sex, Lies, and Joysticks
Lynn Chantale
Lynn Chantale resides in southeastern Michigan. Writing has been a passion for as long as she can remember. Given an ultimatum of either getting published or giving up writing, Lynn chose to get published and has never looked back.
She has a mad affinity for world domination, milk chocolate—preferably Dove chocolate truffles or the caramel-filled squares, although Godiva is acceptable—and plays the bass guitar when the Muse begs for a bit of distraction.
Sex, Lies, and Joysticks Page 15