Trolled

by Steven Sandor

  “She quit,” said the Eel. “Not even in class?”

  “Nope. I tried passing her notes and stuff. She crumples them up. She won’t sit near me in the cafeteria. So I’m here struggling with math on my own.”

  “What about asking your mom and dad?” asked Zach.

  “Okay, who asked you?” said Andy.

  “Whoa,” said the Eel, placing his palms down. “Easy, Andy. Superpuke, I mean, Zach here, he’s okay. Remember that he didn’t rat us out, right? He took his initiation like a champ. And he’s got a point. If math is killing you, why don’t you ask your mom and dad?”

  Andy shook his head. “If my parents think I’m struggling, they might tell me that I need to stop swimming! The way I look at it is this: I’ve just got to get through the exam. The final marks won’t come out for a couple more weeks, and I’ll already have gone to provincials.”

  “And when the marks do come out?” asked Zach.

  “Well, my parents are kinda hopeless when it comes to the SchoolZone account. My mom checks it maybe two or three times a semester, max. I had to help them set it up, so I have the password. If I keep checking it, I can see the report card before they do. I can check off that it’s been seen. And maybe they won’t remember to check on the report card till after I make it to nationals.”

  “They’re that hopeless at computers?” asked Zach.

  “I remember the bank teller asking my mom why she goes into the branch to pay the bills, when she could do it online. My mom said something like ‘you should thank me for keeping you in your job.’ My dad still reads the Brampton Guardian — not online, the real paper, all opened up on the kitchen table, and underlines the stuff he finds interesting in red pen —”

  “Okay, let’s get you out of this rut,” the Eel interrupted. “Flutterboard surfing!”

  The Eel hurled the flutterboard into the pool. It splashed and then floated. There was applause from Andy’s teammates and even a chant of “Tiger Shark! Tiger Shark!”

  Andy shrugged, made a dash for the edge of the pool and jumped. He grabbed the rope that dangled from the ceiling. He looked down between his feet as he swung out over the water. There was the flutterboard, bobbing up and down. Andy dropped. He hit the board.

  And he surfed. And surfed. Farther than he’d gone before. Farther than he’d seen anyone go before. Instead of sinking, he kept riding the flutterboard that was skipping up and down on the waves.

  When he finally sank, he was in the shallow end. He’d almost done the whole length of the pool.

  Then he heard Zach. “I got that all! I got it all on my phone! The whole run!”

  And then he heard the coach. “Zachary! No cell phones in the pool area! Rules are rules!”

  ***

  Andy sat in one of the desks set up in rows in the school gym. The white dress shirt that was part of his uniform made him itch all over. His red school cardigan was draped over the back of his chair. His math exam was on the desk in front of him.

  Andy looked down to the first page. He looked at question one. He exhaled deeply. This isn’t so bad! I can figure out the answer here. All I have to do is move the variable, like Enalyn showed me . .

  He scribbled down the answers to the first three questions. He knew he’d got them all right, and it had only taken a couple of minutes!

  He flipped to the next page — and his grin disappeared. The blood rushed to his face. The questions may as well have been written in Klingon. These were word problems, which would force him to combine fractions. There were variables. And, worst yet, at the end of every question on the page, he was asked to “show his work.”

  Andy placed numbers and letters into what looked like orderly rows. He tried his best to approximate “working through” an answer, even if he wasn’t sure if the solution was going to be correct.

  He flipped ahead through the next four pages of the exam. There were two pages of multiple-choice questions. Even though the word problems were a total bomb, he thought that if he could get lucky choosing a, b, c or d, he might squeeze out a 50.

  Then he took a deep breath. Andy, the only math that matters is . . . what’s less than 56 seconds? You let Enalyn get you all worked up about math. Then she quit on you. She couldn’t take the pressure of swimming anymore. And you’re on your own. But you still have the 100 metres. You can ace that. Who cares about math?

  He kept thinking about how he needed to refocus on his swimming as he randomly filled in bubbles: a bubbles, b bubbles, c bubbles and d bubbles.

  7

  Going Viral

  Andy crashed through the doors and outside into a hot, humid summer afternoon. From there, he could see smoke coming from the car plant where his dad had worked — and hoped to work again. He took off his red cardigan and stuffed it into his bag. He undid two buttons near the collar of his dress shirt.

  He turned on his phone. As soon as the start-up screen faded, his phone started to buzz and shake. Again. And again. And again.

  Andy looked at the Twitter icon.

  That can’t be right, he thought.

  The number 471 appeared in a red circle, set on top of the Twitter icon.

  Andy tapped the icon, and the blue Twitter screen came into view. In that short span of time, he saw the number of notifications jump from 471 to 483.

  What?

  He looked through his feed.

  @SuperGeek17

  RT Check out this video: Pool surfing courtesy @TigerShark.

  @TheBramptonian

  Who is @TigerShark? Is this even a sport?!!!!!

  @DaveDean33

  Check out this vid posted by @ZachAttack: Some guy named @TigerShark. Blew me away, dude.

  @MarkLi

  What’s wrong with you people? @TigerShark is the worst. He’s the absolute WORST.

  His phone kept buzzing every few seconds. Notifications flashed on his screen. Not just on Twitter. But on Facebook, too.

  Andy Kovacs, Mike D’Amico has commented on a post you’re tagged in.

  Andy switched over from Twitter to Facebook. He saw dozens of comments under a video. The video was posted by . . . Zach Ferguson.

  Superpuke did this.

  Andy clicked on the video. He watched as he came into view, swinging over the surface of Earnscliffe Pool. Then he dropped, carrying momentum from the swing. And he shot across the pool, somehow keeping steady on top of the tiny flutterboard. He rode and rode across the pool.

  Likes: 267

  Shares: 48

  Graham Jackson

  Wow, LOL. Is that a sport? So crazy!

  Jasmine Mohamed

  If it’s not a sport it should be.

  Raymond Chang

  The dude’s handle is @TigerShark on Twitter.

  Marcos Mark

  I could do this. Lame.

  James Pearce

  Boyeeeeeeeeee

  Mike Harden

  LOL Splash-down

  Raymond Chang

  Seriously, you gotta follow this guy @TigerShark on Twitter he’s been having this twitterfight with another guy for days and days so classic.

  Maria Jackson-Haynes

  Holy crap that’s awesome but yeah what’s with that MarkLi dude who hates him so much?

  And the list went on. And Andy’s phone kept buzzing. And buzzing.

  What do you know? Andy thought. I’m going viral. And all because of Superpuke.

  ***

  Andy lay in his bed. He looked up at the ceiling. His phone was in his hands. He’d been turning it over and over. He had just finishing playing his fifth Connect Four game. He’d crushed all the candy he’d ever wanted to crush.

  He started to text, erased it, and then put down the phone again. He’d had to turn off the notification features just so he’d get peace.

  “András, come down for dinner in five minutes!” hi
s mom yelled from the kitchen.

  Andy began another text and deleted it. And then he began another. He finished it, hit send and regretted it immediately.

  Enalyn? U there? Did u see the video?

  For a minute, there was nothing. Then Andy saw the three dots in the bubble. The message appeared.

  I can’t believe you.

  Another bubble.

  You can’t bring yourself to say anything to me, then you go viral and you want to talk?

  Another bubble.

  Go away!

  Andy put the phone down and walked downstairs to the kitchen. His mom had made cabbage rolls, served with sauerkraut and sausages. He scooped up a roll and put it on his plate. He then put two solid tablespoons of sour cream on top.

  “Hey, leave some sour cream for us!” His dad smiled and playfully punched his son in the arm.

  His mom sat down across from Andy. “So, how’d the exam go today?”

  “Fine,” Andy said, not looking up from his food.

  “Well, I’m just a bit concerned. I thought that Enalyn girl was going to help you with math.”

  “Well, you see, Mom, I didn’t see her.”

  Andy’s dad looked at his mom. “Really, leave the boy alone. He is doing fine, I am sure. He has to swim or else, poof! There goes nationals. And we’ll have been saving up our money for nothing!”

  “You know what I’d like?” his mom said. “For Andy to speed into grade 10. No problems, no issues. The schools here are so soft, so even if there was a problem, he could probably skate right through, I guess.”

  If only Mom knew, Andy said.

  His dad sighed and took another bite of food.

  “But you didn’t answer one thing,” Andy’s dad said as he peeled a strand of sauerkraut from his chin. “This Enalyn girl.”

  “She’s busy,” Andy said.

  “Girl trouble, already,” his dad said.

  “By the way, Dad,” Andy said, changing the subject. “I’m going to bike to the City Centre after tonight’s practice. Going to meet Mr. Patel after closing to go through the shipment for tomorrow.”

  His mom made a harrumphing sound.

  “Look, Mom, I need the shifts. Every shift I get helps the send-Andy-to-nationals fund, right?”

  “As long as you don’t spend the money on those idiotic comic books and those dolls.”

  “Action figures, Mom. Action figures. Not dolls. And I haven’t bought any for months.”

  “See?” Andy’s dad laughed. “And you worry that our son isn’t responsible? He’s growing out of those dolls with the tight pyjamas on them!”

  8

  Changing the Game

  Andy had just sorted through dozens of new comic releases. Hundreds of issues had been organized alphabetically on racks near the entrance of Comic Relief.

  Mr. Patel was in the office, looking at the order sheets, making sure nothing was missing from the shipment.

  Andy gazed out into the mall. All of the shops were closed, and a security guard walked through the empty food court that was just across from Comic Relief. Near the food court was a set of up and down escalators; the steps were moving, but no one was riding.

  Andy still felt a chill every time his phone buzzed. It had been hours since the video was posted, but his notification numbers went up by hundreds every time he checked. He had gone from having 230 followers on Twitter to 17,656 followers, at last count.

  Andy checked his Twitter account again. Now at 18,114 followers. Wait. Four more notifications.

  “Andy?”

  He looked up from the screen and saw that Mr. Patel was standing over him.

  “Sorry, Mr. Patel. We ready to go?”

  “Um, no,” said Mr. Patel, pointing to a pair of boxes behind the racks. “I was going to ask you why you didn’t unpack those two boxes of action figures. Did you need to take a break?”

  Andy looked across the floor. Where did those boxes come from? Were they there the whole time?

  “Andy, I’m not totally out of touch, for an old man.” Mr. Patel shrugged. “I know that you’ve just become the most famous man in Canada. In fact, I was on the Sports Channel’s website, and they actually had a link to that video you’re in. But I see that you’re on the phone. I bet you’re checking to see just how famous you’ve become. And then there’s a couple of unpacked boxes right in front of you.”

  Andy put away his phone, picked up an X-Acto knife and got to work. He slashed open the first box. “I promise, Mr. Patel, this will take no more than fifteen minutes to get these all out on display.”

  Mr. Patel checked his watch. “Good. You think you can stay off the Twitter feed till it’s done?”

  Andy put the action figures on the shelves and resisted the urge to put one of them on hold. He had an employee discount: 20 per cent off! But he thought about nationals and the money he would need to get to Edmonton. He made a promise to himself. If he medalled at nationals, he’d reward himself when he got back.

  If only there was a way that I could raise the money for nationals and still have money for comics and stuff, he thought. Andy then waved goodbye to Mr. Patel.

  “Goodnight, superstar,” laughed Mr. Patel. “Don’t let the fame go to your head. I don’t want to lose an employee because he’s in the most popular video in the world.”

  Andy thought about what Mr. Patel had just said as the shop owner unlocked the gate so they could slide out into the mall.

  “That’s it!” Andy bellowed.

  “What?” said Mr. Patel.

  “Of course, what a great idea!” Andy then sprinted down the escalator steps, leaving Mr. Patel behind. He did a one-eighty, which took him out to the parkade, close to the City Centre’s bus terminal. His bike was locked there.

  He got on and pedalled hard, going across the bus terminal and out onto Clark Boulevard. He pushed the pedals as if he were in the Tour de France. He wanted to get to his computer as quickly as he could. He turned right onto Bramalea Road, then rode till he got to Darras Court, the townhouse complex where he lived.

  He walked into his house. His parents were watching TV. He said hi, got a couple of nods in return and sped up the stairs to his bedroom. He sat in front of his computer, hit the keys and the screen came to life.

  He got on the Internet and found the bookmark for SchoolZone. He had his dad’s password: ferencvaros. That was the name of his father’s favourite soccer team. Andy knew that his dad used it as his password for pretty well anything that required a password.

  Andy logged in and saw there were no new

  reports under his student profile. Then he went to account information. He changed the primary contact e-mail from maria_kovacs@gmail.com to kovacs1356@hotmail.com. Any updates about his student profile would now go to the dummy e-mail he’d set up earlier that afternoon. His mom would still be able to access SchoolZone and see his grades, but she wouldn’t be getting any e-mail reminders.

  Satisfied with his work, Andy went into the browser history and deleted the last session. He knew his parents were fairly computer illiterate, but he couldn’t be too careful.

  Now, Andy rubbed his hands together.

  Thanks, Mr. Patel. You’re right. I am going to use my fame to get rich. Or at least pay for my trip.

  FundMyProject.com

  SEND TIGER SHARK to NATIONALS!

  My name is Andy Kovacs, also known as “Tiger Shark.” You might recognize me from this video of me surfing across a pool. I’m a swimmer from Brampton, Ontario, Canada, and I hope to swim at the Olympics. I am the fastest swimmer in Ontario in the 100-metre freestyle for my age group.

  But the nationals this year are in Edmonton, which is a far way away. Plane rides are expensive, and my family isn’t rich. My dad works hard, but he’s waiting for his factory to reopen. My mom does her best with her part-time j
obs. But I could use some help. So, what I am offering is for you to be a part of history. If you help fund my trip to the nationals, you can tell the world you helped a future Olympian.

  Here it is: Donate $5, and I will tweet out my thanks! Tell the world you are awesome.

  $10: I will e-mail you regular updates on my progress and make you part of the Tiger Shark Club.

  $100 or more: If you are in the Toronto area, I will give you or someone you choose a swimming lesson. It’ll have to be unofficial, though.

  COMMENTS

  Dan Hardy

  Seems like a cool project. I’ll toss in five bucks. Good luck, kid.

  Maurice Dumars

  Shout-out from Etobicoke! My mom says that you have to keep chasing your dreams. Big dreams. Good luck to you. I think I can scrape up five bucks.

  Mark Li

  You haven’t EVEN GONE TO PROVINCIALS yet and you’re trying to make money off it? I am gonna KICK YOUR ASS at provincials. I really hope you don’t qualify so you’ll to have to go back and refund the money you’ve raised. I can’t believe people would be DUMB enough to pitch in to this. I cannot wait to wipe that smile off your face!

  9

  Lane Swim

  The school year was over. Now, with no classes during the day, Andy got some afternoon shifts at Comic Relief. After each shift, he biked over to Earnscliffe Pool and paid the fee to take part in the public lane swim. He needed to get faster. He thought that maybe, without any of his teammates watching, he could rediscover his groove.

  For two weeks, it went like this. Work. Lane swim. Then he dried off, left the pool, got a snack and came back an hour later for his practice.

  With just a week left to go till the summer long-course provincials, Andy had only one goal: to swim the 100 metres in 56 seconds. He had to get back in that rhythm.

  Before walking into the dressing room for the Friday afternoon lane swim, Andy fished his phone from his pocket and checked on the status of his funding drive. He had a couple of weeks to go till his campaign ended.