Theta

by Lizzy Ford

  When Kyros finished, quiet fell over us. I began to relax, grateful for their acceptance and company and for my content stomach.

  “Four months will be cutting it close,” Herakles said after a thoughtful silence. “We have one wall buster missile, and I’ve been working on a recruitment plan with Commander Ronos. With your permission, we’ll move into the second stage and start actively recruiting.”

  I nodded my assent.

  “We haven’t heard from Theodocia since the meeting,” he said. “I’d like to return to the city to find her and assess her insurgent capabilities.”

  Herakles going to the city – and discovering what was happening to Alessandra – would derail my second in command when I needed him focused here, on the army and our war.

  Kyros glanced at me, aware of my thoughts. I didn’t bother threatening him again; by this point, he understood.

  Send the person you trust most in your place, I said to Herakles. I need you here, preparing the army. More so, because I’m about to become a part-time commander, if I’m a monster at night.

  Kyros obediently relayed my directive.

  Disappointed, Herakles nonetheless nodded. “When I get Theodocia’s numbers, I’ll have a better idea of how many we need to recruit to have a chance against the military.”

  My army was healthy – but relatively small. In addition to my royal guard, its members included those disillusioned men and women we’d found in the city and recruited from around the Atlantic seaboard. Many others were hardened survivors, criminals, and mercenaries. I doubted we were at a tenth the strength of the military, let alone military and SISA combined. In the morning, when I was human again, I’d return to the attack strategy I’d been building over the past few weeks. With roughly a quarter of my forces inside the wall already – acting under Theodocia’s command as a guerrilla insurgency – we had a leg up, but would suffer in a head-to-head clash.

  I was too easily distracted by my beast senses at night to brainstorm further. It was hard to sit still, when my instincts wanted me to explore every sound and follow at least one of the animal scents wafting through the air or perhaps, just to fly into the night sky.

  Why aren’t you surprised by what I am? I asked, training my gaze on Herakles and then waiting for Kyros to verbalize.

  “I’ve seen one of you before. Adonis,” Herakles said with a scowl. Dark emotion crossed his features, and he fell silent, tense where he had been relaxed before my question. He couldn’t have known Adonis long, and even he didn’t like the butcher.

  Would I become like Adonis, now that I was a monster, too?

  Herakles drew a breath. “He’s Alessandra’s protector now,” he said quietly. “I hope she doesn’t need him in DC. I hope she’s safe enough to wait four months, so I can protect her before danger reaches her.”

  Kyros frowned and gazed at me. I read what he wanted to say in his eyes. The human side of him had a good heart, but I needed Herakles with me. It was for his own safety as well as the army’s benefit. What would the people’s champion do, if he discovered the Supreme Magistrate had hurt Alessandra? Run into the city and get himself killed!

  No, I ordered Kyros.

  He looked away. His disappointment troubled me, because I had the sense he was disappointed in me.

  Why should I care what one person thought?

  More sensitive to emotions and stimuli, I rose and paced. Craning my neck back, I eyed the dark sky and had the sudden urge to fly.

  I’ll return, I told Kyros.

  Without waiting for either of them to respond, I leapt upward and unleashed my wings. Bursting above the treetops, I experienced a thrill of euphoria as my powerful wings instinctively knew how to propel me upward. My shoulders soon burned from the effort, but my beautiful, gray wings remained sturdy and strong. I paused to catch my breath and gazed down, startled by how far up I was. My eyes roamed the area around Herakles and Kyros for some sign of the patrols of which they spoke.

  No one was near, and I suddenly understood Herakles’ point about the military advantage being a monster could bring to the table. With my enhanced senses and ability to fly, I was the perfect scout. No one would ever ambush us again. Being this high caused my stomach to turn, but when it became more natural, I’d be able to travel great distances and conduct reconnaissance with skills no human could match. And if I found a god possessing a human …

  The mere thought caused me to flex my talons and test the whip-like tail. There was no denying I was a predator. Common sense told me that my fangs, claws, and barbed tail would easily overwhelm the natural defenses of pretty much every other animal – or human – in existence. My advantage at hand-to-hand combat just obliterated every other attempt I’d made to learn how to fight from Herakles. All the blocks and punches in the world wouldn’t stand up against my new, personal arsenal.

  Less certain about how the armies would react to a monster queen, I felt somewhat relieved to learn I could still contribute, that I wouldn’t be stuck in a tree for hours at a time, waiting for dawn, until I could resume my activities. At night, I would become a warrior or scout. During the day, I’d rule as a queen and commander.

  The longer I thought about it, the more excited I became about the prospect of helping the army – and my cause – in a manner I hadn’t thought possible before.

  I flew for a short time, growing accustomed to my wings, and gauging what they could do, before I noticed the line of yellow on the eastern horizon announcing the sunrise. Circling the trees beneath whose canopies Herakles and Kyros waited, I coasted down from the sky and landed lightly near them.

  Both were sleeping. I plucked up Herakles’ backpack and circled a thatch of brush to await the sunrise. He had packed practical clothing for me, consisting of cargo pants, a t-shirt, boots and socks, bug spray, and the lucky knife he’d given me. I set everything out then caught sight of something else in the bottom of the bag. Removing it, I lowered the backpack.

  A picture of Alessandra and him had been tucked at the bottom of the pack. He looked almost identical, but she was several years younger, grinning widely with her arms around his neck.

  I didn’t notice the difference in her appearance until this moment. When she magically appeared beneath my tree, she had seemed pale, her eyes haunted and her manner flustered. I didn’t quite understand how it was possible for her mind to merge with Cleon’s, but it was clear she was under duress of some kind. I trusted my instincts too much to feel guilty about abandoning her to her fate, though I was troubled by the change between the vibrant, fearless young woman I recalled meeting in DC and what she was becoming.

  I sensed Kyros’ approach and replaced the picture.

  “You have to tell him,” he said.

  You don’t understand what’s at stake, I replied.

  “You keep saying that,” he responded. “Because what? I’m a human-god combo, and therefore, I can’t understand what someone like you, elevated beyond us mere mortals and gods, is doing?”

  Because I can’t manage armies by myself, and Herakles is the glue required to keep everything together, I replied, glaring at him.

  “That might be true, but you also have this irrational fear of being abandoned by everyone. I think this is why you won’t tell him. You don’t want him to leave you.”

  I turned away, irritated.

  “If you tell him, he may decide the best way to help her is to attack in fall, as you’ve planned,” Kyros pressed.

  It’s not your concern.

  “It is my concern. I’m part of this now, whether or not you want me to be.”

  I’ll tell him when I determine the time is right.

  “What if something happens to her between now and your attack? He deserves the chance to make this decision for himself. I mean, she’s his family! You know firsthand what it’s like to be ditched by everyone you care about.”

  A god will never understand! I retorted.

  “He doesn’t,” Kyros replied promptly. “But
I do. I saw my sisters murdered by bandits, and my mother and father were killed in the initial fireball attack. I know what it’s like to lose someone, and I know what it’s like to regret not having the chance to protect them or say farewell.”

  The raw note in his voice struck me hard. The picture of Kyros in pain did not sit well with me. I didn’t want Herakles to feel what I did about Lantos, my mother, Mismatch, Theodocia and everyone else who had been ripped out of my life. I didn’t want anyone to feel that way.

  I’m sorry for your loss, but I’m in a different situation. I have a duty to fulfill, I said more calmly. I can’t afford to jeopardize it, or more innocent people like your family will die.

  “If you gave people a chance, they might surprise you.” This time, anger was in his voice.

  Kyros marched away, back towards where Herakles slept. Twisting, I watched the possessed human. He was good at disrupting my plans, whether it was by his mere existence, or the fact I sensed he was, in part, correct. I didn’t trust people, because of my position as a leader and Queen, but also for the simple reason I didn’t want to be hurt anymore. Because that’s how it always ended: with me alone, hurt, and still responsible for the fate of humanity.

  Sunlight crested the sky, and fire raced through me. I closed my eyes and banished Kyros from my mind while I changed from a monster into a human. Shuddering at the sensation of my body tearing itself apart and putting itself back together again, I gritted my teeth until the transformation was complete.

  I stood naked and alone in the forest. My dulled senses were a relief after the onslaught of my night. Dressing, I found myself stuck on Kyros’ assertion that Herakles needed to know about Alessandra’s danger. Theodocia had claimed the same.

  When I was ready, I left the private area and returned to the others. Herakles was awake and brushing away any sign we were present with a branch of leaves while Kyros watched.

  The two glanced my way, and I lifted my chin another notch. I was ready to return, now that I understood I posed no threat to others and that becoming a grotesque was part of my curse that might help me meet my goals.

  Neither of them spoke, for which I was grateful. I waited for Herakles to finish. I was drained from staying awake all night. I learned yesterday that I slept best in the morning. Unfortunately, today, I had an army to manage.

  “This way,” Kyros said and started through the brush.

  I trailed him, while Herakles followed me. A four-seater, all-terrain vehicle waited for us, a hundred meters away from where we’d been. It was hidden beneath a layer of branches and leaves. Herakles and Kyros cleared it away and Herakles climbed into the driver’s side. Kyros hopped in back, and I sat in the passenger seat.

  We moved through the forest as fast as possible, following an old four-wheeler path that hadn’t been cleared in years. Branches smacked the frame of the vehicle, and I kept my hands and legs far from the door, just in case.

  Half an hour later, we reached a highway. Herakles kept to the drainage ditches. The jarring ride left me nauseated – a combination of movement and morning sickness. Exiting the ditches for a familiar dirt road, Herakles drove us through several back roads before we arrived at the outer perimeter of the camp.

  He slowed, and two guards in purple emerged from the forest near the fence. With a quick glance at us, and they opened the gate. Herakles waved as we passed through and drove us into camp via the back entrance before finally stopping in the motor pool. I sat perfectly still, uncertain if my stomach was going to revolt when I moved.

  Kyros touched my shoulder. I didn’t feel his magic, but I experienced its effects. My stomach righted itself immediately. I released my death grip on the roll bar overhead and moved away from his touch to exit.

  Two of my other five top commanders waited a respectful distance away.

  “What do you want us to do with Kyros?” Herakles asked, rounding the vehicle. He handed me a notepad.

  My desire to throw him back in the barn – tied to a chair – was nowhere near the level it had been when we left several days ago.

  Find him a bunk, I scribbled on the paper.

  Herakles said nothing, but he didn’t have to. This was good news to the army that had fallen in love with the cheerful, possessed human.

  “Your Majesty,” one of my commanders stepped forward. He bowed his head before continuing. “We have a visitor.”

  I raised an eyebrow, uncertain what that could mean and worried another Kyros-Paeon had showed up at my camp.

  “He’s requested to see you specifically.”

  Herakles joined me and waited for my decision.

  I nodded.

  “I’ll accompany you,” he said.

  The commanders turned and strode away, towards the squat former anchor store housing the common areas. They led me into the back offices, past my room – which I desperately wanted to visit for a quick nap – and into a break room we had converted into a meeting area for senior staff.

  I paused in the doorway, my gaze falling to the visitor on the opposite side of the room. He stood rather than sat, and he was neither armed nor tied. But … that didn’t surprise me about Adonis. He wasn’t going to let anyone bind him, and he didn’t need weapons for those around him to understand how dangerous he was. He radiated command and lethality unlike anyone else I had ever met.

  Gazing at one another, I didn’t know if I should have been excited to see the one person who understood what I was going through – or wary of the butcher who never should’ve known where my camp was to start with. With his direct blue-green gaze and royal command of the room, I began to wonder how I had never suspected what and who he was before this.

  “Leave us,” he said to my escort with the command of the prince he had been.

  My commanders obeyed without so much as a look at me!

  “No,” Herakles growled, glaring at Adonis.

  I glanced up at him and rested a hand on his arm. His jaw tightened, but he relented. Herakles left and closed the door behind him.

  Adonis studied me. There was nothing soft about the man, no smile lines around his lips, no warmth in his eyes, no excess weight in the lean musculature of his frame.

  “You must have questions,” he started.

  What are you doing here? I asked.

  “I was hunting in the area last night and sensed you.”

  The little girl he abandoned wanted to demand to know why he hadn’t returned all those years ago, but I didn’t feel ready to open the box of emotions this topic was certain to stir up. My feelings were much closer to the surface, now that I was pregnant.

  He tilted his head, and his eyes rested on my lower abdomen.

  You can hear my thoughts, I grated internally, infuriated. Would he tell his friend, Lantos, about my children? I would kill him before he spoke!

  “Yeah,” he admitted. “I don’t know where to start. Twelve years ago? Four thousand?”

  Another thick silence fell. I assessed him, not liking the idea of creating a bridge to a man I had no reason to respect.

  Except he was family. A distant predecessor of mine, the butcher and confidante of my betrayer was also the only family I had left in the world.

  Start from the beginning, I decided finally and reached for a chair to sit. But be brief. I have problems awaiting me.

  “I have a feeling I’m the right person to help you with them,” he said, the corner of one side of his mouth lifting in a half-smile.

  Not about to trust him, just because the same curse ran through our veins, I folded my hands in my lap and prepared to listen.

  Chapter Fourteen: Grotesque Prince

  Before I spent several days with the Silent Queen, I had little insight into her personality. I recalled meeting her as Mismatch when she was a lonely, isolated child, as well as the few times we had crossed paths in the political circles in DC. She was on Lantos’ level, not mine, so those circumstances of our co-existing anywhere simultaneously were rare and normally consisted o
f high-level security meetings of the political elite.

  Phoibe exhibited the best traits of the bloodline: intelligence, ambition, discipline, willingness to sacrifice for her goals, consideration of those she cared about and coldness towards the rest of the world. She was a born leader, bred and raised to rule, and she’d learned to survive the DC political climate at a young age.

  She also inherited the trait that made her out of place in this world. Her ambition blinded her to the cost of achieving her goals. While displeased initially to see Herakles at her side, I quickly assessed this pairing was for the best. Herakles’ experience, genuine warmth and grounded personality softened Phoibe’s drive to rid the earth of the gods at all costs. She knew when to defer to his judgment and when to stick to her own. If she were considering altering her plan, it was because Herakles had likely urged her to do so in private, despite the natural animosity he and I shared when Alessandra was caught between us.

  I’d been invited this morning to her weekly conference with senior staff.

  You believe this to be the best plan. She was studying the edits I’d made on her initial strategy for a two-pronged attack against the military and SISA security elements in DC.

  “I believe it to be the only plan with the resources at your disposal,” I replied.

  Her commanders were studying the proposed changes as well, along with Herakles, who seemed more interested in watching me than reading what was in front of him.

  “This has merit,” said one of her commanders. “A simultaneous attack following an incredibly risky diversion.”

  “It’s more of a concentrated attack, disguised by two diversions,” I replied. “The main objective is to chop the head off the snake by crippling the leadership at the compound. Her Majesty’s objective isn’t necessarily to destroy the military but take it over. The first distraction will draw the Supreme Magistrate’s forces one way, and the attack on the wall a second way, freeing up the area we need to move around in. Our main forces will arrive into DC via the Metro system, on trains scheduled to bring food from the Maryland farms and weapons from their NOVA ammo depot. They’ll converge at Metro Center, then move through the tunnels to the compound where the Supreme Magistrate is holed up. When the diversions erupt, the forces beneath the ground will take the compound.”