A Reluctant Companion

by Kit Tunstall

  As he unfolded a cot and put it near the other men, he ignored Aidan’s surprised look. It was all too easy to ignore everything as the knowledge settled over him that he faced an endless line of empty, lonely nights if he let Madison go. He couldn’t fathom returning to a string of empty affairs with occasional companions after having Madison and knowing how a relationship could be.

  At least he wouldn’t have to settle on his fate for a few days. There was the trip back to Seattle-Archer and her mother’s hospital stay looming before he had to make a decision. His mind told him sending her home on the train with her family was the only sane solution, even as his heart protested the thought. Used to following his head, Tiernan was disconcerted to find he was giving equal weight to his heart, perhaps even more consideration than to reason. It was a strange state for him, and it made for another sleepless night.

  *****

  The healer pronounced Elaine fit enough to travel, and the train was waiting for them when they drew up in a wagon, followed by the soldiers on horses, late the next morning. Madison saw her mother settled in the bedroom car before joining the others in the head car. She resisted the childish urge to shun the seat by Tiernan, but still shot him a glare as she sat beside him. He needn’t think she’d forgotten her irritation at the way he hadn’t bothered to come in last night, not even long enough to tell her what had happened with Cam.

  She shot another glare at her brother, resentful that he was equally tightlipped about the encounter. At least he wasn’t treating her like a pariah now, but she was still burning with curiosity to know what Tiernan had said.

  Hurt mingled through too, and she longed to ask Tiernan why he hadn’t come to her room last night. Had he been angry about something? Did he think she was angry? Why had he rejected her? Knowing she wouldn’t get an answer until they had a chance to talk at a much later time—after admitting her mother to the hospital and settling her family in the visitors’ quarters of the capitol building—couldn’t make her stop dwelling on his motivations and her sense of abandonment. It was ridiculous to feel that way, but she couldn’t help it.

  The questions continued to plague her as she took a turn sitting with her mother, who was awake and asked about her life in Seattle-Archer. That provided enough distraction for her to focus on something else, and when she returned to the head car after Rosie relieved her, she found Tiernan absent. He didn’t appear again until they pulled into the station at Seattle-Archer. In the bustle of moving her mother to the hospital, she didn’t have time to protest or say anything when he bade her a quick goodbye, with the casual promise of seeing her later that evening.

  Fortunately, getting her mother transferred to the Joseph F. Archer Memorial Hospital, founded by and named after Tiernan’s grandfather, proved hectic enough that she had no time to fret about why her lover was so distant.

  The hospital was immaculate, housed in a cement and glass building built sometime before The End, originally for a different hospital that had shut down in the ensuing chaos, but was later repaired by Archer, according to a memorial plaque in the courtyard. Medical staff in crisp white scrubs came to greet them at a side entrance marked “V.I.P.” With wide eyes, Madison took in the sights of the sparkling clean floor, glowing white walls, and eye-searing overhead fluorescent lights. Everywhere she looked, she saw busy staff in white uniforms or patients. The patients wore neat clothes and all looked impressively groomed and self-involved.

  She couldn’t help contrasting them with the patients that always filled Susan’s clinic. Those people were desperate, often hungry or unclean, but Susan treated them all as if they were as important as these people. It saddened her to know the hospital was reserved only for the elite and privileged, but she couldn’t help being thankful to know one such person. Without Tiernan in her life, her mother wouldn’t have the opportunity to see a doctor at the hospital. Vowing to thank him again that night—after demanding an explanation for why he seemed to be avoiding her—she turned her attention to her mother.

  Elaine received a personal nurse assigned just to her care. The deferential manner of the nurse and the three doctors who came to see her mother that afternoon clearly bemused her. Madison found it strange too. She had become used to people bowing and scraping to Tiernan, but had never been the recipient of such behavior before. It was unsettling to have her entire family treated like royalty, but it encouraged her to hope there would be a diagnosis and maybe a cure for her mother. These people obviously didn’t want to disappoint Tiernan.

  She ate dinner with her family in the hospital’s cafeteria, though that word seemed much too utilitarian for the spacious dining hall with intimate tables, fine china, white table linens, and straight-back chairs fashioned from some kind of dark wood. It was late before she led her brother and sister back to the capitol building, since Callum had chosen to stay. Madison left them with a maid who knew which rooms were theirs before going up to the room she shared with Tiernan.

  Though it was dark outside, and far past dinnertime, the suite was quiet. She sighed, discouraged to see he still hadn’t returned. Exhaustion was setting in, and she barely kept her eyes open long enough for a quick bath. Not bothering with clothes, she fell into the comfortable bed face-first, wanting to wait for Tiernan, but already knowing she would be asleep in minutes.

  When she woke the next morning, only the faint imprint of his head on the pillow beside her gave any proof that he had joined her at all. It was still early, judging by the light streaming in through the windows, so he couldn’t have been there for long. Shaking her head, she stretched and got out of bed, wincing at the crick in her neck from the uncomfortable way she’d slept last night.

  As she padded to the bathroom to take care of morning ablutions, she couldn’t help asking herself why he was avoiding her. Could he still be angry that she had run away? That theory didn’t hold up to scrutiny, since he had taken her on to her family himself and then arranged Elaine’s trip to the hospital. That left one distinct possibility, along with many vague unknowns.

  He was still upset about the angry sex they’d shared that night when he caught up with her. Casting a glance over her naked body in the mirror, she winced at some of the fading bruises, and then shook her head. He could be a real idiot sometimes. Yes, it had been a rough, savage encounter, but she had wanted him as much as he’d wanted her. Deciding she had to confront him about it again gave her a sick feeling in her stomach, but she couldn’t just ignore the problem. As she returned to the closet to select clothes, she vowed to talk to him as soon as an opportunity presented itself.

  *****

  She wouldn’t have guessed it would be three more days before she could get a moment alone with him when coming to that decision. Being with her mother consumed most of her days. Evenings, she sometimes dined at the hospital with her family, but they had all returned to the capitol building a couple of nights ago. Tiernan had joined them for dinner in the dining room before excusing himself to work. He’d managed to be out late enough that she couldn’t make herself stay awake to wait for him. He did the same the next two nights, adding to her frustration.

  It wasn’t annoyance that prompted her to find him that afternoon though. Pure joy and gratitude had her knocking on his office door and pushing open the door without awaiting permission to enter. “Sorry,” she said, nodding to Aidan. “I need a few minutes with Tiernan.” She worded it pleasantly, but left him no room to refuse. Only Tiernan could have overridden her, but he didn’t, she noted with just a touch of surprise.

  As soon as Aidan had left the office, closing the door behind him, she ran across the room and hurled herself into his arms. Tiernan groaned at the impact, but his arms steadied her. “She’s going to be okay.”

  He smiled. “Your mother?”

  Madison nodded. “It’s some kind of autoimmune disease. Do you know what that is?”

  Tiernan took her hand in his. “Her immune system is attacking her body, right?”

  “I think so
. The doctors gave her something…” She scrunched her face, trying to remember. “Oh, st…steroids? Dr. Sindhar said she might need to take them intermittently for flare-ups, and he’s sending her home a list of herbs and some medication, but he said her condition is manageable.” Unable to resist, she hugged him, burying her face against his neck. “She’s going to recover and regain her strength, he said, and probably never get this sick again as long as the hospital keeps supplying her medicine.”

  He tightened his hold on her. “I’ll personally ensure she’s never allowed to run out.”

  Madison lifted her head, cupping his chin in her hand. “Thank you. If you hadn’t brought her here, she probably would have died.” She kissed his cheek, and then the other one. “Thank you,” she said again, before kissing his lips. He hesitated for a second before giving her a gentle kiss that he ended all too soon.

  “I’m happy to help her, Madison. It’s probably my fault she got so sick.”

  Madison frowned, wishing he weren’t so quick to take blame for things of late. “Maybe it contributed to this flare-up, but her disease would have killed her within a couple of years, according to Dr. Sindhar. If you hadn’t come into my life, she never would have recovered.”

  A strange smile flashed across his lips. “I’m glad something good came out of it.”

  She could feel him withdrawing. Physically, his embrace remained tight, but his emotional pulling away was still evident. Desperation drove her confession. She needed to get through to him before he deliberately destroyed the fragile relationship they had. Stroking his cheek, she looked down, still too shy to meet his eyes. “I love you, Tiernan.”

  He stiffened, not responding.

  Cautiously, she peeked up through her lashes. “Did you hear me? I love you. If you’d asked me how this could be at the beginning of our relationship, I’d have said there was no way it could happen…but it did. It has. I love you,” she said with conviction.

  Tiernan was still stiff, clearly at war with himself. Finally, with a moan, he surrendered and drew her against him, his mouth capturing hers in a hungry kiss. Madison surrendered gladly, taking him as much as he took her. She tugged at his uniform jacket, forcing open the buttons with shaking hands. The white shirt underneath didn’t stand a chance. In her impatience, she tore open the buttons, needing to touch him.

  He shifted their positions slightly to shove her skirt to her hips. Madison cried out softly when he pushed aside her panties to stroke her clitoris. She was already wet and ready for him, and she rocked against his hand as he gave her a quick release. Even as her orgasm left her body shuddering, she was working at the button on his pants, struggling to free his erection. He lifted his hips a bit to assist, and as soon as he was free, she straddled him, taking his length inside her with one quick thrust. It seemed like ages since they had been together, though it was only a few days. This was only a brief taste, a snack to tide them over, since they were so hungry for each other.

  They came together just a couple of minutes later, staying in that position for a few moments after, her head buried against his shoulder as she struggled to slow her breathing.

  She squealed when he abruptly stood up, shifting her so she was still in his arms, her skirt sliding down her legs to shield her semi-nudity. He spent a moment righting his pants with one hand, not releasing her.

  “What’re you doing?” She put an arm around his shoulders to anchor herself.

  “I’m taking the afternoon off.”

  “Oh.” She wanted to purr with satisfaction, but knew that state would come later. Right now, she wanted more of Tiernan. Much, much more. Even though he hadn’t verbally acknowledged her declaration of love, his response let her know he cared. She refused to worry about how much right then, too happy to have her mom on the road to recovery and the breach in her relationship with Tiernan healing.

  *****

  It was only much later, as they fed each in bed from a tray sent up by the kitchen, that she allowed herself to ask, “Why did you hesitate when I told you I loved you?”

  He sighed, returning the strawberry to the tray without offering it to her. “I was still trying to do the right thing.”

  She frowned. “What right thing?”

  Tiernan ran a hand through his curls, making them crackle. “You belong with your family. I need to send you home with them.”

  Her heart spasmed. “Just until they get settled?”

  He shook his head. “No, I should let you go back with them forever.”

  She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. “You’re tired of me.” How humiliating. Her impromptu confession had led him to offer her pity sex when he’d been planning to send her away.

  “No.” He touched her cheek, making her lashes flutter open. “After what I did to you, the least I can do is try to let you go back to your family.”

  “I don’t want to.” She pulled away to sit up, tugging the covers over her bare breasts. It was impossible to have a serious conversation with one’s boobs hanging out. “I know what you think you did, but you need to get over that. Just let it go.”

  He frowned. “I can’t. What if I do it again?”

  She lifted a shoulder, yearning for the right words to get through to him. “I don’t mind. It was intense, but I thought pretty satisfying for both of us.”

  Tiernan’s frown deepened as he reached out to trail a strawberry-stained finger over a bite mark on her chest that had faded to little more than indents and a faint brown-purple bruise. “How can that be satisfying? I was an animal.”

  “I don’t care. I wanted you then. I want you now. I can’t imagine not wanting you, Tiernan.” Softening her tone, she leaned forward, letting the blanket drop. “I love you. All of you. The good and the bad. The only thing you can do that will truly hurt me is send me away.”

  He still looked uncertain, but reached out to cup the back of her head as he drew her forward for a kiss, stopping a scant inch from her lips. “I said I should do the right thing. I was already on the cusp of talking myself out of it before you said what you did. After that, I knew there was no way I could let you go.”

  Relief left her giddy, and she sagged against him, not needing to express herself with words. Instead, their bodies melted together, still not spent even after hours of lovemaking. As they moved together, she swore she could feel love in Tiernan’s every tender touch. For now, it was enough.

  Chapter Fourteen

  A little more than a week later, Madison stood at her lover’s side and waved goodbye to her family as the train pulled out. She locked eyes with Rosie and waved a little harder, remembering their conversation the previous night, when she’d suggested her little sister stay in Seattle-Archer.

  “Nah, I can’t,” Rosie had said.

  Feeling disappointed, she had still nodded. “I understand. The family needs you.”

  “Yeah, but it’s not just that. Eric…Nash…well…” She had shrugged, trailing off. “He’s different, you know?”

  Madison had nodded. “You don’t think he’s too old?”

  Her sister had shaken her head. “Nah, he’s only seven years older than me. That’s hardly anything. I’m not even sure how he really feels, but I gotta find out.”

  “That I definitely understand.”

  The sisters shared a secret smile as the train pulled away, and she kept her gaze locked with Rosie’s until her sister was too far away. When she could no longer see any of her family, she turned back to face Tiernan, putting her hand on his arm. “Thanks for coming with me.”

  He shrugged. “I like your family.” He grimaced slightly. “Okay, with the exception of Cam.”

  She smiled, unable to feel aggrieved at his confession. Her brother treated Tiernan with thinly veiled contempt, and she’d had to tell him to knock it off more than once. Madison knew if Cam had dared act like that with Tiernan and hadn’t been her brother, he would have found the commander not so tolerant. “Still, they aren’t foreign dignitaries or anythi
ng. You’ve cleared your schedule to entertain them the past few days. I really appreciate that.”

  “As I said, they’re your family.” He looked embarrassed. “Well, I have to make up for that now.” He dropped a kiss on the top of her head. “It’s back to work for me, I’m afraid.”

  Madison sighed. “Me too. I’m off to the clinic this morning.”

  Tiernan frowned, but didn’t comment other than to say, “Don’t forget an escort.”

  “Of course.” She licked her lips as guilt panged her. “Um, that reminds me. Whatever happened to the guy who took me out that day?”

  He didn’t need clarification for which day. “Corporal Figg was sentenced to two weeks hard labor for dereliction of duty, and he’ll be back at his post next week.”

  She frowned. “It was my fault.”

  “Yes,” he said, his voice cool, “But he still fell for it. Your escort’s duty is to protect you from everything, including yourself.”