by London Casey
“Listen, Sawyer,” Tate said. “Brian is cool as hell. He hates the shop where he works. So he spilled so much about what’s good and bad there. I’m going back next week for another one.”
“Bro, you have to call him. Right now.”
“What?”
“Call him,” Sawyer said.
“Sawyer, what are you doing?” I asked. “It’s late…”
“Fuck that,” Sawyer said. “Call him up and ask him to ink me. Right now. I’ll pay cash. Whatever he wants.”
“Are you serious?” Tate asked. “Because I have a tattoo, you need one?”
“Yeah,” Sawyer said. “We won’t be taken seriously about the shop until we have ink. It makes sense, right? We love the art. The ink. Everything about it. We have the attitude for it too.”
“Sawyer, we’re a long way from even thinking about this for real,” Tate said.
I saw the look on Sawyer’s face.
I faced him and touched his face. “Hey. It’s okay. We’ll do it in the morning.”
“No,” Sawyer said. “Tonight. Right now. Make the call, Tate. I have cash.”
“Bro, what are you doing?” Tate asked.
“Sawyer, what are you going to get tattooed?” I asked. “Huh? You have nothing in mind.”
“Yes I do,” Sawyer said.
“What?” I asked.
Sawyer touched my face. He smirked. “You’re going to draw something for me.”
3.
I spent the next two hours drawing. In that time, Tate got Brian on the phone and he agreed to come over to Tate’s and tattoo Sawyer. For a second I thought they were going to break into the tattoo shop Brian worked at.
It made me tingle everywhere that Sawyer wanted me to draw something for him. He said to make it a surprise and that he didn’t want to see it until it was in his skin. Talk about pressure, huh? But that was Sawyer. He was fast. He said what he wanted to say. He did what he wanted to do. If you got in his way he knocked you out of the way. If he punched you, you were better off staying down. If you punched him, he would get up and take another punch just to say he did. But as crazy as he was, when it was just me and him, the world slowed. Time stopped. He was soothing and comforting. The things he said to me and the way he loved me was like nothing I could have ever imagined. That was the part of Sawyer nobody knew and saw. I think Tate may have seen that part a few times, Sawyer putting his guard down to his best friend. But nothing like I saw.
When I finished the final sketch, I chewed my bottom lip for a little while, hoping it was something he’d love. A skull with a lit cigarette between its teeth. A rose tattoo on the skull with some shading of colors behind it. Everything that made me think of Sawyer. And my favorite colors so the tattoo would forever be me and him together. It was insane to be as young as we were talking about forever, but that’s what he did to me. It was also crazy to be talking about opening a tattoo shop but I didn’t doubt it for a second.
Oh, and it was also crazy to see Sawyer sitting in a chair at a kitchen table with a tattooed guy named Brian leaning over the table with a buzzing needle, inking his arm.
Sawyer stared right at me the entire time, not looking once.
“This is fucking insane,” Tate whispered to me as he stepped up next to me.
“Would you expect anything less from him?” I asked.
“No, not at all.”
“You two are going to open up a tattoo shop, aren’t you?”
“Yeah, I think we are,” Tate said. “It’s going to be a hell of a ride.”
“With him by your side though, Tate, I think you’ll do just fine.”
I looked at Tate and smiled.
Tate smiled back. “With you by both our sides, we’ll do just fine.”
I swallowed hard.
Tate always made comments like that and I never knew what he meant.
Brian finished the tattoo and when Sawyer looked at it, his eyes went wide and he nodded his head. He paid Brian with cash and said he wanted him to come back tomorrow night for more ink.
It was one of the craziest nights I would have with Sawyer.
And one of the few where we weren’t trying to break each other’s hearts.
EIGHT
KATE
1.
My alarm never went off because I didn’t set it. Lucky for me, Jason was awake, feeling great, and decided to play a game called jump on Mom’s bed until she wakes up. Guess what? He won.
That was okay though.
I scrambled to make him some waffles in the toaster and peeled an orange which he said tasted gross. I didn’t care, I told him he needed his vitamin c. He didn’t know what that meant so I told him it would make him healthy. I said that as I buttered waffles and covered them in syrup. Oh well, it’s all about balance in life.
I got changed, fixed my hair, and took Jason to preschool.
I gave him an extra couple kisses, until he pushed away from me, obviously embarrassed.
He rushed into the classroom and I stood there, watching the way he interacted with his little friends. It was amazing how he could have such a good heart. Such a big heart. And he really didn’t know about the hell his life had been shrouded in.
I turned and Miss Alex stood there, holding a box with small containers of paint.
“Hey,” she said. “I was actually hoping to run into you.”
“Ut-oh. Good news or bad?”
“Why bad news?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “Everything okay with Jason?”
“Oh, of course. He’s great in class. I was hoping we could have you come in for another art class.”
I laughed. “I wouldn’t call it that.”
“They love it. They love you, Kate. You should do classes for kids or something. You’d be great at it.”
“I think I’ll stick to the every now and again in preschool event for now.”
“I hope we can set something up,” Miss Alex said.
“Tell Miss Sarah to text me,” I said. “Or have her give you my number. Whatever works. We can work something around my schedule at the diner.”
“Excellent,” Miss Alex said. “Have a good day.”
“You too.”
I looked over my shoulder one last time and saw Jason sitting at his desk, coloring a picture. It was a dinosaur - big shocker - and he gently chewed on his tongue as he colored it in.
That was exactly what I needed to see before going to the diner for another long shift.
Normally, that didn’t bother me.
But as I drove to work and walked into the diner, I looked around.
I felt watched. I felt followed.
I knew that Sawyer was in town.
And I knew it was only a matter of time before he made his presence felt.
2.
Prick sat at the counter like a lonely man at a bar, washing away memories that wouldn’t stop haunting him. He drank three sodas and ate a burger, but still sat there. It was interesting to live in Hundred Falls Valley because everyone was used to the St. Skin guys. Seeing these hulk-like tattooed monsters walking around was just normal. Nobody judged them. A lot of people didn’t like them. But I think everyone felt safe with them around. Even though the little scuffle with Dirt was annoying, it was just the way the guys from St. Skin handled their business.
I walked along the counter as the door opened and saw two guys come in. Carter and Beck. They were friends of St. Skin but had no ability to tattoo anyone. Just regular guys in town with deep ties to St. Skin. Kind of like me.
“Refill?” I asked Prick.
“Yeah… and keep it coming,” he said.
“What’s got you down?”
“Broken heart.”
“What?” I asked. “I didn’t realize you had a heart to break.”
Prick grinned. “Well, it only shows up for certain beautiful women. Like you.”
“Aw, that’s sweet. But it’ll never happen.”
Prick gritted his teeth. “Ju
st think of how explosive it would be though. You and me. One night. All this tension between us finally exploding. Knowing the things I know about you and… you-know-who…”
“Watch yourself,” I warned. “I’ll poison your soda and then you’ll never talk.”
“Just in case you do decide to poison me, mouth to mouth doesn’t work on me,” Prick said.
“Oh yeah?” I asked, stupidly taking his bait.
“Mouth to dick gets me going every single time,” he said.
“You’re a jerk,” I said. “I’m giving you diet soda for that comment.”
“That’s okay. As long as I get to see you again.”
Prick winked and I shook my head. I refilled his glass and returned to find Carter and Beck sitting next to him.
“Drinks?” I asked them.
Two sodas for them.
But Prick wasn’t done on his quest for me just yet.
“Can you imagine me and her together?” Prick asked. “What would that be like? It would be so taboo…”
“Just for the record,” I said to Carter and Beck, “because you’re sitting with him, I expect triple gratuity. I’ll even add it to your bill.”
“Don’t tie us in with him,” Carter said. “He’s a prick.”
“Ding, ding, ding,” Prick said with a laugh. “Give him a prize.”
“How are you doing, Kate?” Beck asked.
“Wonderful,” I said. “But I can’t stand here and be your entertainment.”
“Oh, I wish,” Prick said. “All the ones in the world…”
“Want me to throw a drink at him for you?” Beck asked. “So you don’t get in trouble?”
“No,” I said. “I’ll have Beverly beat him with a magazine.”
“What?” Carter asked.
“Nothing,” I said. I laughed. “Inside joke. I’ll be back in a few if you want anything to eat.”
Prick opened his mouth and I pointed at him. I didn’t need to hear any stupid comment about him eating… me.
You just sort of had to deal with Prick. He was dirty but with a heart of gold. His past was horrible and he stood alone on a path of recovery that he was open about and flat out said would never end. Kind of like a lifelong punishment for what he had done in life. That part about the guy I could relate to. But anything else, he was on his own. He could have his fantasies and his right hand for that stuff.
The lunch rush picked up and it sort of never ended. Which was a good thing. And I got a nice surprise when Maggie brought Jason into the diner for a late lunch. There was nothing quite like watching his little arm reaching up and grabbing for the heavy door.
I greeted them at the door as though I didn’t know them. That lasted all of two seconds before Jason dove at my legs for a hug. I scooped him up and walked him to an open booth near the counter. He wanted chocolate milk and chicken nuggets.
“Do you want the same?” I asked Maggie as I sat down next to her in the booth.
“How about water and a turkey wrap with no cheese?” she asked.
“Always so healthy,” I said.
“Have to keep my mind sharp.”
“Yeah. Hey, how did your big job go?”
“I have to present my work tomorrow. I’m worried.”
“I’m sure it’s great. You’ve always done great work.”
“I was thinking of asking you to give the final touches,” Maggie said.
I sighed. I smelled like grease. My hair was sweaty with random strands sticking wherever the hell they wanted to go. I was a mess. The picture perfect definition of a hot mess.
“Look at me,” I whispered.
“You look beautiful,” Maggie said. “Right, Jason?”
He nodded. “I like your uniform.”
“Thanks,” I said. “Both of you.” I pulled myself from the booth and paused. “Maggie, you can show me the work. Do you have it on your phone?”
“I brought my laptop,” she said.
“Ah, so that’s the real reason for this lunch.”
“Then you don’t have to pay me for the day,” Maggie said. “Since you’re helping me.”
“Good friend discount, huh?”
“Something like that,” Maggie said.
I placed their order and came back and sat next to Maggie to look at her work. It was for a fitness company that was opening three locations. So she made different logos and an entire branding presentation. I gave a few suggestions, nothing much, but I knew what Maggie was doing. She was goading me into wanting to do this with her. All it would take was a simple question and I could work with and for Maggie. We could probably do a decent enough business, but it was too risky.
I looked at Jason and watched him drawing on the back of the placemat.
“Is this good?” he asked me, showing me his dinosaur and shark.
“They’re perfect,” I said.
“Look at you go, kiddo,” Maggie said. “Another artist, huh?” She nudged at me.
“There you go,” I said. “Jason could work for you, Maggie. Right?”
“Work?” Jason asked.
“Yeah. Forget preschool. Just go right to work.”
“But I like preschool,” Jason said.
“I know you do,” I said. “Enjoy being a kid. Keep drawing. I’m going to go check on your food.”
I walked away again.
I couldn’t remember the first time I drew a picture that was considered good. Maybe it was a skill that came to me over time or maybe I was just some freak that could draw. Maybe the same thing would happen with Jason. Unless he took after his father.
That thought made me shiver with fear.
That would be the worst thing that could ever happen.
3.
I lifted the plate with the mess of ketchup that looked like a mini murder scene. There was one chicken nugget left whole and another with half a bite taken out of it. Having Jason there for lunch was great, but watching him leave hurt me. Watching him hold Maggie’s hand as they crossed the street hurt even worse. Not that I was jealous of Maggie or thought that he would love her more than me, I just hated that I couldn’t be there for him all the time. That’s not the way I wanted things to be.
Under the plate was a rolled up twenty.
I curled my lip and cursed Maggie.
I told her not to worry about the food. Of course, she didn’t listen to me. And she didn’t want me to pay for her watching Jason since I helped her with her work. Not that I didn’t appreciate the help, I just hated feeling like a charity case. People always looking at me, looking at Jason, and giving that sad eyed look for the single mother trying to make ends meet.
After I cleared the table and wiped it down, I erased it all from my head.
I had three more hours on my shift until I was done. Then I could go home and enjoy a night with Jason. And I would find a way to sneak that twenty back into Maggie’s bag. Last time that happened, we went back and forth for a good month with the same twenty. Right up until my car was on empty and I sputtered into a gas station with no money. I actually planned on asking someone for five bucks when I found the twenty and used it.
Another high moment in my life.
At the counter, I refilled some coffees, kept small talk going about politics, and from nowhere I heard the faint rumble of a motorcycle engine. It wasn’t something uncommon to hear in Hundred Falls Valley. Most of the guys from St. Skin had motorcycles as well as the guys they often had fights with.
I stared out the large front window though and couldn’t stop watching. Waiting to see if it was Tate. Or Cass. Or… someone else.
The rumbling got louder and faded.
Whoever it was must have been on another street.
I went to the kitchen and got a freshly washed stack of cups and replenished the supply behind the counter.
I turned just as the door to the diner opened.
If I was holding the cups, I would have dropped them.
My eyes went to the booth where Jason had been s
itting just a short while ago.
I swallowed hard and looked at the door again.
He stood there just the same as I last saw him. Jeans, black t-shirt, arms packed with muscle and ink. Messy dark hair and bad boy eyes that were now attached to a man’s face. A stone cut jaw with just enough scruff on it to make him look like he had forgotten to shave for a couple days.
Just like the first time I saw him, the entire world stopped. And time slowed. And nothing else mattered but that moment right there. In my mind it was like someone was flicking through the pages of a really long book as fast as possible, each page a memory of me and him together. The last page being the night he got on his motorcycle and took off, never to be seen again.
Now he was back.
And the cocky grin on his face told me he thought things would be the same.
But he had no idea what had happened since he left.
NINE
SAWYER
1.
She was beautiful.
My breath was gone far longer than I would ever admit. I stood there and could see nothing but her. The same dirty blonde hair, pulled back, never wanting to let her hair down. When she did though, her hair had this natural curl to it. The sight of her with her hair down was enough to remind me that the thing pulsing inside my chest was indeed a real heart. A heart that was capable of loving. A heart that was capable of being shattered. Her eyes were sparkling green, piercing me from across the diner. Even in her work uniform she was beautiful. Black pants and a black shirt with a black apron. The curve of her hips, making my fingertips tingle, wanting to pick up where we had left off years prior.
It was hard to explain, but her figure had become more womanly than I remembered.
I promised myself on the ride over to the diner I would contain it, but that was a lie. Me and Kate were fire and fire. We were about destruction to the world around us and each other. But when it was good, it was really good.
I took a couple steps forward and pointed to the first booth that was empty.
Kate gave a nod and I sat down.
To be fair, I was actually hungry. But my purpose of being there wasn’t just for food.