The Governess Who Stole My Heart: A Historical Regency Romance Novel

by Hanna Hamilton

  Elizabeth looked up at John, and then turned to the blocks and spelled out his name. “That’s you,” she said beaming.

  “Well, aren’t you the clever one. That is me indeed. Now can you spell out your name? It’s a little longer.”

  Elizabeth immediately rearranged some of the blocks and there was her name.

  John kneeled down and put his arm around his daughter’s shoulders and studied her for a moment.

  “How like your mother you are,” he said softly.

  Elizabeth turned to him and asked, “Is Miss Susan my new mommy now?”

  Both Susan and John were startled and exchanged quick glances.

  “No, Honey,” Susan quickly said. “I’m your teacher, and I certainly care about you, but I’m not your mother.”

  “Why not? If you care for me then why can’t you be my mommy?”

  “It doesn’t work that way. I’ll explain it to you later,” Susan said gently.

  When Susan turned to John she caught him looking at her with the sweetest smile.

  “I’m sorry,” she said blushing slightly.

  “Nothing to be sorry for. Out of the mouth of babes…” John said, but now he had a troubled look and stood. “I best be going,” he said and then directly left the room.

  Susan could see he’d been upset by his daughter’s comments. She hoped it would not sour John against her. He’d made an effort to support his daughter and she was happy for that. Perhaps over time, he would continue to warm toward her.

  After leaving the nursery, John went to his bedroom and paced. He stood for a moment overlooking the park. It usually brought him peace, but now he was still disquieted. He couldn’t get his innocent daughter’s comments out of his mind. Of course, she had no memory of her mother like he did, and, as nonsensical as it was, he resented his own daughter—again—and just when he was starting to warm to her.

  John was hurt. John was angry, and he couldn’t understand why. Finally, he went to the armoire where Annabel’s clothes were still stored. He threw open the doors and began throwing her dresses, gowns, robes, and accessories onto the floor. Instinctively he knew he needed to rid himself of the clutching memories these clothes represented. It was painful, but it was also liberating. He needed to move on and his reaction to his daughter’s words had triggered something inside him. And, as he rid himself of her clothing, he began to feel a warming release.

  He dashed out of his room and searched for Standish, finding him in the dining room

  “Standish…”

  “Your Grace?”

  “I’ve made a mess in my bedroom. Please take everything of my wife’s away. I don’t care what you do with them. I just never want to see any of it ever again. Understand?”

  Standish nodded. “I do.”

  John left, went to the stable, saddled his horse—not waiting for the groom—and galloped out across his open fields.

  Later that afternoon, as Elizabeth was having her nap, Susan went to see Aunt Clarissa.

  “I think you may call me just Clarissa now. It’s better if there is less formality between us, don’t you think.”

  Susan smiled, “I like thinking of you as my aunt, but yes just Clarissa it shall be.”

  Susan explained about the incident earlier that morning with John and his daughter. It had upset her and she wanted to see what Clarissa thought about it.

  After Susan told her the story, Clarissa sat, thinking about it.

  “The human heart, eh? So complex. So fragile—and yet so strong. Poor John. He’s been brooding all these years. I’ve seen it poison his life. He’s never been able to look with longing toward another woman. But perhaps now, things will begin to change.”

  “How do you see that happening?”

  Clarissa leaned forward slightly. “Perhaps I shouldn’t say this, but I believe it’s important you know this for Elizabeth’s sake.”

  “Yes?”

  “The servants talk, you know?” she said with a smile. “It seems that earlier this morning—most likely after seeing his daughter—John went to his room and threw out all of Annabel’s clothing that he’d been holding on to all these years. It seems he told Standish to get rid of them all and then he left and has still not returned.”

  “Oh, my… It sounds like the actions of some hero out of a romance novel,” Susan said, with just a trace of a smile.

  “You have no idea how long I’ve been urging John to do just that. I know that true love can be enduring but after a while… He could never let go and both he and his daughter suffered.”

  “Is there anything you think I could do to help him?” Susan asked.

  Clarissa considered that then said, “I’m not sure there’s anything you can do except to be compassionate and patient with him. This is really something he’s going to need to work out for himself, I’m afraid.”

  “And what about Elizabeth? I know she’s too young to be aware of what’s going on with him, but do you think she might continue to suffer his resentment?”

  Clarissa considered, thoughtfully, then said, “That’s difficult to say. I think the best thing there is for you to continue your love and support for her. Hopefully, one day, John will find some healing and come around to her again.”

  “Thank you, Clarissa, I guess we’ll both need to hope for the best for the Duke and do what we can to support him.”

  Susan rose to leave.

  “Oh, Susan, how did your trip to Ash go? Was your friend sick?”

  Susan smiled and told her about the surprise of seeing her beau, Daniel, and the complications they were struggling with.”

  “Ah, a budding romance,” she replied.

  “Perhaps. But we still have a lot to work out.”

  “I wish you all the very best, my dear.”

  Susan didn’t see John for several days. He was not at supper nor did she see him out walking or riding in the mornings.

  Then a few days later she saw him when she was taking her usual morning walk. He spotted her, but turned aside and went in a different direction.

  However, the next morning as she was returning from the extent of her walk, John came up behind her and fell into step beside her.

  Susan looked up and smiled, but didn’t say anything. They walked on together in silence for a short distance. Then John said, “Miss Susan, I must ask for your forgiveness.”

  “Whatever for? I’m not aware of any slight on your part.”

  “I was short with you and Elizabeth the other day. I feel I behaved badly and I regret it.”

  “Sir, Aunt Clarissa has apprised me of your enduring grief over the loss of your wife. I believe your action the other day came out of that grief, and I do understand.”

  “Thank you,” John said quietly and they walked on in silence.

  “I know we spoke recently about the school and my inability to move forward with it,” John said. “But I feel you have a right to understand why I’m unable to do that.”

  “If you wish to tell me,” Susan replied.

  John explained about the loan and the foreclosure on the house that was to be used as the school.

  “Oh,” was all Susan could think of to say until she said, “I assume you’ve tried to borrow the money elsewhere?”

  “I have, but to no avail. And, although, I could use the sale of this season’s wool harvest to pay off the loan, with the deadline I have, it will be too late.”

  “And your father-in-law won’t allow an extension?”

  “He already has. And he urgently needs the payment to invest in his own business.”

  “What about selling off some of your land? Would that be a possibility?” Susan suggested.

  John winced. “To my forefathers that would be unthinkable. I can’t let them down.”

  “But if you lose the school, won’t that amount to the same thing?”

  “Hmm. Perhaps, but it would only be a house, with not a significant amount of land.”

  Susan got an idea. “John, I’ve
heard from several sources that there is to be a railway line built from London to Dover. Have you heard about that?”

  John shook his head. “No, I’ve not.”

  “It’s my understanding that it’s to come close by here. My friend, Katherine, was telling me there are railway men in the area surveying for the right of way. It seems they are offering large sums of money for what is virtually a small strip of land through anyone’s property.

  “Really?” John said, lighting up.

  “That might be worth investigating as a possible solution to your problem?”

  “Do you have any idea how to contact these men?”

  “I don’t.”

  “My banker would probably know.” John turned to Susan. “Thank you. Thank you very much. That is an excellent suggestion. I shall follow up on it immediately.”

  “And if you were to save Hollyoak, might the school then go forward as planned?” she asked.

  “It would be my great pleasure to do just that. I can’t tell you how happy that would make my workers.”

  John stood in the office of his banker, Harcourt Rutley.

  “Cigar?” Harcourt asked, opening his humidor.

  “Thank you, no. I abstain from tobacco.”

  “Ah… As you wish.”

  John had just asked if Harcourt knew about the proposed railway.

  Harcourt closed the humidor and took the time to light his cigar before answering.

  “Not only have I heard of it, I am an investor in it. It’s going to be a huge boon for Kent. A line from London to Dover will explode the possibilities for travel and trade to France. Can you see that, old man? Not to mention the convenience for transporting all of our local commodities to London as well.”

  John nodded. “And it would make it a lot easier for me to transport my wool to market,” John added.

  “Then what can I do for you today, old man?”

  “I understand the proposed railway route is being developed and the surveyors are buying up land for the right of way.”

  “And that is so.”

  “Might you be able to direct me to these gentlemen? I’d like to see if they might find Haverford estate an attractive route.”

  “My good man, I know for certain they would. The far north section of your land would be right along the proposed route. I would be more than happy to set up a meeting with them for you.”

  “Excellent.”

  “And, I might suggest, in your negotiations with the railway, you might be able to convince them to put in a railway stop on your property so that you could ship directly from there.”

  John smiled broadly. “Harcourt, do you have any idea how quickly a deal could be made? You know I have my note due in just a few weeks. If we closed on the deal I could pay my debt off.”

  Harcourt rubbed his chin. “Not so fast there, young man. Business does not move that quickly. It would probably take a number of months before any kind of a deal could close.”

  John looked crestfallen. “Oh. That’s a disappointment.”

  “But…” Harcourt nodded. “If a deal were agreed upon I am fairly certain the bank could offer you a bridge loan—with the deal as collateral.”

  “Now, that is excellent news.” He went over and shook Harcourt’s hand.

  Susan was teaching Elizabeth how to tie knots when John burst into the school room. He raced over and picked Elizabeth up and twirled her around in a circle as she screamed with both fear and delight.

  Susan stood back in amazement, having never seen John behave this way before.

  Putting Elizabeth back down, he turned to Susan, his face beaming, and said, “We did it. Well, you did it. Well, it’s thanks to you and your suggestion. I’m selling the right of way for the railway, and my bank is loaning me the money to pay off my father-in-law.”

  Susan felt a wave of gratitude wash over her. “Oh, John, that is splendid news.”

  John went over and took Susan’s hands. “Thank you. Thank you.”

  Elizabeth ran over to her father and grabbed his legs. “Do it again. Please?”

  John looked down. “What? Do what?” he asked.

  “Swing me around again.”

  John bent down and picked up Elizabeth again. “You liked that, did you?”

  “Yes, do it again.”

  John swung her around in more circles with her screaming at the top of her voice, until John became dizzy and he had to put her down.

  Susan couldn’t help but laugh. She went over to steady John who was wobbly from the swings.

  “Are you all right?” she asked, putting her hand on his arm.

  “I will be. No, I am, thanks to you.”

  He turned to her and put his arms on her shoulders and pulled her to him, ending with his arms around her in a hug. Suddenly, they stopped, looked up at each other in embarrassment, and then pulled back.

  “I’m sorry”, John said. “That was inappropriate.”

  “Not at all. I’m happy to see you so light hearted. This news must lift a great weight off your shoulders,” Susan reassured him.

  “Yes, it does. And thank you again. I think we need to celebrate this evening and I’m going to tell cook to prepare an extra-special dinner.”

  “Can I come to?” Elizabeth belted out, happy to see her father so happy.

  John looked to Susan for approval. She nodded.

  “I don’t see why not. And we’ll make you the guest of honor, what do you think of that?”

  Elizabeth danced. “Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes.”

  John turned to go but turned back. “Thank you again, Miss Susan. And soon we can meet to make plans for the school.”

  Chapter 14

  As soon as the bank loan came through after the agreement for the right of way was signed with the railway, John rode once again to Pembrook to settle the debt with Ezra.

  It was with great satisfaction that John handed the bank draft to Ezra in his study.

  “Huh,” was all Ezra said.

  John couldn’t tell if he was pleased or not that his debt was repaid until he realized that Hollyoak was probably worth more than the debt, and now Ezra would be missing out on the windfall profit from the sale of the house.

  “Two weeks early. How’d you do it, John?” Ezra asked as he accepted the payment. “I never expected you to pull it off? Did your bank finally relent and give you the loan?”

  “In a manner of speaking,” John said giving no added detail.

  Ezra studied him.

  “You must be happy to get the mill repaired,” John said.

  Ezra nodded. “Will you be staying for a spell?”

  “I’ll overnight, but no longer. I have sheering come up and now I can begin work on the school. Hollyoak will finally be used as intended.”

  “I seem to remember its original intention was to be for my Annabel,” Ezra said a little dryly.

  “But that was not to be. However, it will still be put to good use.”

  Just then Hester came into the study.

  “Oh, John, I thought I heard a horse ride up. It’s good to see you.”

  “And you, Hester.”

  “And how is my adorable granddaughter? I so long to see her again. She must be… how old now?”

  “Just five, and growing. She has a new nanny tutor who is doing wonders for her growth and education.”

  “Oh, I am happy to hear that.” She turned to Ezra. “We must make a trip to Haverford soon. I do so long to see her, my dear.”

  Ezra nodded.

  Hester reached out and tapped John on the arm. “Do you play whist?” she asked. “I can find a fourth and we can amuse ourselves this evening. You are staying over, aren’t you?”

  “I shall. It’s too tiring on the horse to make the trip both ways in one day.”

  Hester took a little hop and clapped. “Oh, wonderful. It’s such fun to have a guest. We rarely do, you know. We are so isolated here amongst all these trees. La, I shall make sure we have something extra delight
ful for supper, shall I?”

  She turned and bounced out of the room.

  “You need to go out more,” John said with a slight smile.

  As John passed Susan in the entryway lobby one morning she stopped him. “John, do you have a moment?”

  He stopped and turned to her. “I do.”

  “I’m happy to report that Elizabeth is growing by leaps and bounds. Not only physically but intellectually as well. But we have been cooped up in the school room for weeks on end. I think it would be greatly beneficial if she could play outside more. I have several ideas and I’d like your response.”

  “Of course. What are you thinking?” He asked and directed her to the library. “Please sit and let me have your thoughts.

  “Well, first I was wondering about a pony for her. She seems to evidence a fondness for animals and if she began riding now, as she grew, it would provide her both exercise and an enjoyment she could carry into adulthood.”

  “That sounds like an excellent idea. And you have others?”

  “And what about a tree house? As a young girl, my brother and I spent hours playing at the top of a tree in our very own house.”

  “Might she be a little too young for that? And she doesn’t have siblings so it might be a solitary endeavor.”

  “A good point and one I also wish to make. I think we need to find some neighboring children for her to play with. What about some of the workers’ children?”

  John frowned. “I’m not sure about that. That may not be suitable.”

  “Is it because they are workers’ children?”

  John nodded. “It might blur the lines?”

  “What lines?”

  “Social lines. I’m not sure it’s quite right for children of a different class to be playing with a Duke’s daughter.”

  “I see,” she said with a trace of disapproval.

  “I’m sorry. You may not see things in the same way as I do.”

  “Perhaps not,” she said, lowering her head and saying nothing more.

  “There are some close neighbors I could approach,” John said trying to take this discussion in a more desirable direction.

  Susan nodded. “Then if you will supply me with their names I can make arrangements for the children to get together.”