The Accidental Honeymoon

by Alice Toby

  “Come on. Come into my office,” Ryan invites.

  Karin freaks out. She realizes that Ryan is now truly treating her as much more than just some intern. She follows the CEO of Emperor into his spacious office. Karin is a bit shell-shocked as she looks at the very chair and desk where Ryan works on a day to day basis. The young CEO shows off his collection of snowboards. “Do you go to Aspen?”

  “I’ve been there a few times. But it’s kinda hard to afford trips up there.”

  “I don’t think I have the right boards.”

  Karin looks over at the collection of high-end boards. She knows that the problem is most likely not the boards. However, she is not about to critique her boss on his snowboarding technique.

  “You know. I can offer you a few tips.”

  “Great. I despise being mediocre at anything. It drives me nuts that I can’t ride a board like some of these idiots I see over in Aspen.”

  “Well, they probably can’t create tech products like you.”

  “I want to be the best at everything.”

  Karin is just amazed at Ryan’s attitude. It’s as though he is a higher functioning form of human. She has never met a person who would make such a claim. I want to be the best at everything. Karin just stares at Ryan - bustling with manic energy and drive. Even standing still, the CEO of Emperor gives off an energy that a dozen men could not possibly equal.

  The young intern looks at the walls of the office. She eyes the many photos of Ryan surfing, skydiving, performing archery and horseback riding. “You appear to be very good at a great number of things.”

  “I try everything.”

  “I wish I could do that.”

  “You could do anything you want. You just have to decide that you want something and you get it,” Ryan answers. Then he leads Karin to a bust of Napoleon on a nearby table. She reads the inscription below - “I see only the objective. The obstacles must give way.” The intern realizes that this is a man who does not recognize obstructions. She is slightly turned on by his intensity. Ryan gets back on the skateboard and continues to attempt the kick flip. Karin watches, apprehensive about giving advice.

  “Um. You have to lift your feet higher,” she suggests meekly.

  “Lift my feet higher?”

  “Yeah, the toes of your sneakers are hitting the board as it flips over.”

  “Alrighty.”

  Ryan attempts the trick again. This time he nails it. “There you go!” Karin proclaims.

  “Excellent,” Ryan declares as he turns around. “You are a good teacher.”

  Karin’s face begins to blush. Her eyes are lighting up. She looks at Ryan’s face and begins to fall for him - not as a power man but as a guy with whom she feels a connection. A heat. Karin takes a step backward. “I think I have to go back to work,” the young intern tells Ryan.

  “Okay. Well, thank you again, Karin.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  Karin’s heart races. She hasn’t felt this kind of infatuation since her sophomore year when she had a crush on Jeff MacGregor. The girl is so dizzy that she nearly walks into the walls. Karin makes her way back to the conference room. She slowly spins around on one of the chairs thinking about Ryan. As she spins, the young intern catches sight of a man staring at her. Karin nervously stops and holds her knees together like a little girl who has been caught doing something naughty.

  “Are you the intern?” the man asks.

  “Yes.”

  “Can you come with me please?”

  Karin nervously gets up from the chair. She wonders if she is in trouble. “We’re putting together a presentation deck to IBS on Emperor’s financial and product information. We need you to print out the decks, put them into a Fedex box and make sure the boxes do not leave your sight until the Fedex guy comes to pick them up.”

  “Okay.”

  The man leads Karin into a windowless room with a computer, printer and about twenty-five medium size white Fedex boxes. He then walks Karin to the entryway of the office. “Place your thumb on this scanner. You will be the only one who can access this office for the next five hours.”

  Karin places her thumb on the scanner. The scanner sounds off a tone, confirming that the young intern’s thumbprint has been recorded. “That’s it?” Karin asks.

  “Yep. Your thumb is now the only key to the office. It’s 1p.m. and the Fedex guy will be here at 5 p.m.. I know it’s a little squeeze but you should be able to handle it.”

  “I will.”

  “Excellent. Thanks.”

  Karin gets right to work printing out the PDF file of the presentation deck. She carefully correlates and binds each presentation deck. To pass the time, the young intern thinks about Ryan. She wonders if it would be okay for her to speak to him on a more casual basis. She tries to consider various ways to strike up conversations with the CEO.

  As the intern continues to daydream, she loses track of time. “Oh fuck!” Karin blurts out as she notices the time on the computer. It’s 4:40, and she has yet to print out the mailing labels and place the decks into the boxes. Karin begins to stuff each deck into each box. She hits “print” on the mailing label machine but gets the error message she has been dreading - Please load mailing labels into paper tray. The intern looks around the small office. She begins to turn over every box inside the ten-foot by ten-foot space. “Where are the mailing labels?!” Karin yells out loud. She looks at the clock. 4:45 p.m. Karin bursts out of the office. She runs up and down the fourth level asking everybody she encounters, “Where are the Fedex mailing labels? Where are the Fedex mailing labels?!”

  Karin turns a corner and runs right into another person, knocking him onto the ground. The young intern stops, looks down and sees her victim - the CEO himself. Ryan lies on the ground not sure what happened to him. Karin looks up and sees the skateboard slowly rolling away from the scene like a frightened eyewitness.

  “What are you running around like that for?” Ryan asks.

  “I can’t find the Fedex mailing labels.”

  “The supply room is on the other side of the hall.”

  “Thanks,” Karin calls out. As she is about to run down the hall. She looks back at Ryan and figures that she should at least try to help him up. “I’m so sorry. I have to get something out by 5 p.m.”

  “Okay. Well, be careful.”

  “I will. Again I am so sorry.”

  Karin wants to punch herself in the face. Just a few hours ago, she made friends with Ryan. Now, she has done the worst possible thing at the worst possible moment. The young intern, however, doesn’t have time to beat herself up.

  Karin runs into the supply room and finds the labels. She grabs them and runs back to the office. Karin tries to open the door. She turns the handle about ten times until she remembers that the office is accessible only by her thumb print. She drops the box and places her thumb on the scanner. The door opens. The young intern quickly loads the label machine, hits the print button and waits as each label is painfully and slowly printed.

  Karin looks at the clock on the computer. It is 5:00. She is late.

  “Karin? The Fedex guy is here,” a young woman tells the hurried intern.

  “I’m printing. I’m printing!” Karin replies. As each label is printed, she slaps it on a box and stacks the box besides the door. Three long minutes pass as each of the 25 labels continues to print.

  “The Fedex guy has to leave,” the young woman tells Karin.

  “Don’t let him leave!” Karin screams. The last label is printed. She picks up all twenty-five boxes and runs out of the office shouting, “Where is the Fedex guy?!”

  “He just left down the elevators,” the young woman replies.

  Karin gets into the elevators while carrying more boxes than she could normally carry. Her heart feels like it is about to explode. A tear falls down her cheek. She knows that if she can not complete this simple task that her internship is over. No more chance at a fruitful career in Silicon Valley. No
more chances to hang out with Ryan.

  The doors open on the bottom floor. Karin runs out with the boxes, barely able see in front of her. She places the boxes on the ground and looks around the sprawling bottom floor of the office. Spotting the Fedex guy walking towards the front entrance of the headquarters, she picks up the boxes and runs across the grand foyer. Karin nearly tackles the Fedex man with about fifty pounds worth of boxes. “Hey, here are the packages!” she proclaims excitedly.

  “Oh. okay,” the Fedex guy replies as he places the boxes on his cart. The young intern watches as the man loads the boxes on his trolley not willing to turn her back until she sees the boxes get on the truck.

  Karin looks down and sees that her entire blouse is matted to her body. Her back is hunched over in fatigue. The young intern stumbles outside and watches the Fedex guy load the boxes onto the truck. She listens to the driver start up the engine and watches the truck leave the office campus. When the vehicle finally disappears onto a public road, Karin collapses on the ground. Her legs won’t allow her to move.

  The young intern just sits on the ground. She is not relieved nor sad nor angry. Just tired. All of her energy - physical, mental and emotional is simply drained from her body. Emperor employees continue to walk past Karin - seemingly oblivious to the 21-year old huddled on the ground. Everyone at the world’s fastest growing tech company have their own deadlines to hit, their own monsters to slay. After a few more minutes of catching her breath, Karin picks herself up and heads back into the headquarters.

  As Karin walks into the elevators, she begins to calculate ways of avoiding Ryan. She knows that any equity she had built up with the young CEO is gone now. In Ryan’s eyes, she will be remembered as the intern who knocked him to the ground. The doors open. Karin walks with her head down. She is too ashamed to make eye contact with anyone on the fourth level.

  Karin turns the corner. The endless bamboo flooring is interrupted by the sight of Ryan’s red New Balance sneakers. The young woman pops her head up to find that she has nearly run into Ryan yet a second time.

  “Oops. Almost another run-in,” Ryan tells the intern.

  “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to knock you over like that. I had to get these presentation decks to the Fedex guy at 5 p.m.”

  “Did you make the deadline?”

  “Yes.”

  “Napoleon,” Ryan tells her with a smile.

  An odd look comes across Karin’s face. Her rattled mind tries to translate the cryptic one word response from Ryan. Then she remembers the bust. And the French Emperor’s quote inscribed below - “I see only the objective. The obstacles must give way.”

  Karin smiles. She almost hugs Ryan. She now realizes where the CEO is coming from. Ryan would have done the same thing as an intern. Get to your objective, even if you have to knock over your boss in the process.

  “You look like you could use a little break,” Ryan tells his haggard intern. Karin looks at her wrinkled sweaty clothing and could not really argue the point. “Go out, get some fresh air and relax for a couple of hours.”

  “Thanks, Ryan.”

  “No problem.”

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Author used to hate these cross-country two-day trips. He hated the drive to San Fran International Airport, dealing with security and the hassle of having to negotiate the mass of people getting onto a commercial airliner. Even when the lawyer flew business class or first-class, flying was always the least pleasurable part of his job.

  Flying aboard Ryan Wilde’s personal Gulfstream jet is another story. Ever since joining Emperor Technologies seven years ago, the General Counsel to the world’s fastest growing tech company has traded his commercial flying days for private aircraft travel. Ryan has never been one to act stingy when it came to his personal fleet. He always allows members of his executive board to use one of his four Gulfstream 550s when available. The lawyer has spent the past five hours reclining on one of the sofas with his shoes off and feet propped up on a couple of pillows while surfing the net on his laptop. Author has the plane to himself besides his own assistant, the pilot crew and a couple of flight attendants to tend to his every need. Author is on his third martini. He knows his is spoiled. In fact, the only downside to flying in a personal aircraft is having to “downsize” to first-class tickets when he flies on his personal vacation with his family.

  “We should be touching down in Palo Alto in less than 30 minutes, Mr. Stevens,” one of the flight attendants informs the lawyer.

  “Thanks,” Author responds as he puts his shoes on and sits upright. The General Counsel knows that his job is not completely done. The merger won’t go through unless he can figure out a way to convince IBS to let Ryan run the combined company.

  The jet touches down at a little after 7 p.m. Author exits the plane and makes the short walk to the executive car waiting for him. A couple of minutes later, his luggage is placed in the trunk and he is off to the Emperor Technologies’ headquarters.

  ****

  Ryan knows he is driving his engineers crazy. For the past two hours, he has been hovering around the Research and Development department interrogating each engineer on the progress of his company’s latest project.

  “Ryan, Author is on his way back,” the CEO’s personal assistant informs him via phone.

  “Alright. Guys, I’m going back upstairs. Remember, I want to see the prototype in my hands by tomorrow night.”

  Much to the relief of all of the engineers, the tireless CEO finally returns to his office.

  The young CEO quickly shifts his focus from the engineering department to the matter of the proposed merger. It still irks Ryan that IBS would balk at him being the CEO of the combined company. He wants to fly to New York and explain that his company has grown to 100 billion dollars in 15 years while IBS took over 80 years to reach that market capitalization. Of course, the youthful business titan knows that this type of inflammatory behavior would only backfire.

  Ryan stalks back into this office and settles in. He gets on his skateboard and attempts some more tricks while waiting for Author to arrive. As the last slivers of afternoon light escape from the office, Ryan gets a call from his desk phone.

  “Author is back.”

  “Great. Tell him to come in after he gets settled down.”

  Less than a minute later, Ryan’s chief lawyer walks into his office and relaxes on the sofa.

  “Alright. So what do we do?” the CEO asks foregoing the small talk.

  “We have to reach the shareholders. The management at IBS admires you. And they don’t question your ability to lead. But you have to understand that their shareholders are older. They are not young people who buy hot tech stocks. The average IBS shareholder is old enough to be your father.”

  “Maybe I should dye my hair gray.”

  That elicits a chuckle from Author. “We need to launch a PR offensive. Get you on ‘60 Minutes.’ You can do interviews with all the big papers. You simply have to stop allowing the gossip papers to define you.”

  Ryan exhales deeply. He rarely grants interviews and finds that most journalists will simply put their own spin on his words. And there is another thing that concerns Ryan. “It doesn’t matter how many interviews I do, the incident of me on the yacht will always override whatever I say. People are attracted to imagery. And right now they have the image of me as a wealthy party boy.”

  “So you can change your image. But I don’t know how you can do that 180 so quickly.”

  “I could settle down and get married,” Ryan jokes.

  Author laughs so hard that he nearly falls off of his sofa. “That would do the trick but I could never imagine you settling down with any girl.”

  Ryan sits down on the sofa and stares into space. He says nothing for a full minute. Finally, Author looks at his boss and asks him, “What are you thinking about?”

  “Getting married.”

  “Are you serious?”

  “Listen to me for a moment. Once
the merger is announced, we have a year to deal with congressional anti-trust hearings and merger votes. During that time, I can get engaged, get married and create the image of me as a responsible CEO.”

  “Are you seeing anyone serious?”

  “No.”

  “How are you going to pull this off?”

  Ryan stands up and paces around the room. “I’ll make an arrangement with a girl. It’ll be a charade. We’ll go through the whole engagement process in the media. We can have some lavish wedding. And after the merger goes through - with me as CEO - we will quietly have the marriage annulled. I’ll pay the girl a couple of bucks in hush money and everything will be fine.”

  “You are insane. Brilliant but insane.”

  Ryan looks at Author and smiles. “It’s all about image.”

  “Alright. if you are serious about this, then who are you going to get as your pretend wife? Perhaps one of the models you have been seeing?”

  Ryan shakes his head. “I have to be around this girl for a year. And to be honest, those models can get on my nerves. Besides, I don’t know if I could trust them.”

  “Perhaps you can marry a famous actress?”

  “I don’t need someone who is a bigger head case than myself.”

  “Then who?”

  Ryan walks around the room. He gazes over at the skateboard on the ground. And instantly an image of Karin rushes into his head. He likes her. Perhaps not as a lover. But he admires the young intern’s spunky personality and go-getter attitude. And best of all, she is one of his interns. He is certain that Karin would be loyal to him.

  “What about Karin.”

  “Who?!”

  “The intern.”

  “Our intern. Karin? You’re not even going out with her.”

  “That’s even better. We don’t have any baggage. When the merger goes through, I’ll give her a nice nest egg and we go our separate ways.”