My Two Husbands

by Yari Martinez

  I hang up without saying anything. Who in their right mind makes plans like this? As if I were a stay-at-home wife. When we don’t even live together? When I can barely get him to answer my phone calls?

  This makes no sense to me. I have been trying to get this man to take a trip with me for as long as I can remember, to no avail. Who is to say this is his way of apologizing for how things have been, or his way of finding more time for us? Whatever the case, maybe I’ll do my best to enjoy this trip and see how long this behavior lasts.

  I haven’t bothered taking a trip in some time. On my last vacation, I was Hunter’s wife and wasn’t sharing Kaylee. She was all mine, and I wasn’t aware that my time with her was limited. I still remember watching her play in the sand, asking me millions of questions that I can barely remember. I should have paid more attention.

  I don’t see how a vacation during this time in my life can be beneficial.

  Chapter 6

  As my eyes open, I can’t remember where I am. I lie still, aware that this is not my bed. Before my brain can compose itself, the sound of the ocean clears my anxiety and I remember I agreed to a small vacation.

  Despite the overload of life, I feel relaxed knowing things are moving in the right direction, regardless of my pessimistic view of my relationship with Dominic. I made the right decision coming here. I needed to get away from all my worries and start fresh.

  I focus on our suitcases propped up by the sofa and realize Dominic’s bag is open. Where could he be? I don’t hear any sounds from the bathroom, so I’m sure he isn’t here. He is as usual very good at this disappearing act. I didn’t notice him getting out of bed or leaving the room.

  I get up and grab my phone, hoping for a message from Hunter telling me Kaylee is expecting my call, but there is nothing. No surprise. I walk out to the balcony to stare out into the ocean. It is beautiful—nothing but clear blue waves inviting me for a swim, reminding me I’m on vacation.

  I’m startled by the sound of the door. It’s Dominic, with two cups of coffee. “Morning, beautiful. I was hoping to wake you up and surprise you with coffee,” he says, coming towards me.

  The aroma of the coffee invades my nostrils, and I feel desperate for a sip.

  “I am surprised. Thank you,” I say, taking the coffee from his hand and placing a soft kiss on his lips to show my gratitude.

  We sit side by side on the balcony and gaze at the ocean as we drink our coffee. I notice that regardless of his workout gear, he doesn’t look sweaty. Where did he go? But I don’t bother asking. Where could he have possibly gone out here in the Dominican Republic?

  I must work on my trust issues and stop always assuming the worst. I sip on my coffee, trying to hide my obvious observation.

  I get up from the chair, shaking off my insecurities. He grabs my arm as I move towards the room. “Come here, kiss me,” he purrs.

  It’s difficult to ignore this nagging feeling in my stomach, but I push it away and allow him to embrace me.

  Without being able to control myself, I start tearing up and hide my face in his chest. How gullible can I possibly be?

  “Hey hey. Come here, let me see your face,” he says, concerned.

  “No,” I say, snuggling closer.

  “C’mon, why the tears?” he asks.

  I refuse to mention that I feel jealous and insecure out here, on vacation. There’s nothing to worry about, yet here I am unable to control my emotions.

  “I’m being silly,” I state, wiping my face before making eye contact. “I am overwhelmed with happiness. I can’t believe we’re here in another part of the world. I’ve only dreamt of this moment.”.

  It’s true I never thought a vacation would be possible. I thought there would always be an excuse or subtle objection.

  “There’s nothing wrong with being happy!” Dominic cries. “It’s nice to feel you happy and not worrying about anything back home, even if it’s for a weekend.”

  I look into his eyes and they appear elsewhere. Yes, he is here with me, but his inability to see when something is wrong with me proves he isn’t really mine. I always thought the person who is perfect for me would notice little things about me. But I was wrong.

  “You’re right, there isn’t anything wrong with feeling happy,” I say, just as casually.

  “Let’s take a shower. We can’t stay in this room all day. I want to start enjoying the rest of our lives together already.”

  What does he mean, the rest of our lives? I seriously need to calm down. I’m reading too much into his words, but it does seem as if he is thinking about our future. My goodness, I have doubted this man all along, not giving him my complete trust while he has been trying to show me that his life has already started with me. I wish I could call Diane right now. My mind is going all types of crazy, and I have no one to gossip with.

  The shower is romantic, but like all good things, it comes to an end. We make our way to the beach.

  The beach has a few visitors but not enough to deter me from remaining. The air is soft and the waves calm. I set myself up on the beach chairs under a set of palm trees.

  The hours pass by smoothly between reading, swimming, and sunbathing. It is easy to understand why one of my fondest memories of my daughter is at a beach. It’s pretty amazing to consciously live a precious moment.

  I sneak a peek at Dominic as he sunbathes, and I wonder if a precious memory is being created. Oddly, I don’t feel anything. I sit up and grab his hand, which is resting peacefully on the beach chair. He opens his eyes and graces me with a beautiful smile.

  “Hey,” he says.

  “Hi,” I smile back, trying to relish the moment.

  He sits up and runs his hands through my hair, enjoying the sight of me. “How’re you feeling, darling?” he asks.

  “Good, a little thirsty,” I say. I would be a horrible person if I admitted I was trying to feel this moment with him but just could not.

  He gets up, slipping his feet into his sandals. "What would you like to drink?”

  “Water with cucumber, please. I’m going to try and give Kaylee a call. Hopefully the resort’s wi-fi reaches the beach and my call goes through.”

  He bends down to kiss me on my forehead and grabs his cellphone.

  “Okay, I’ll be right back,” he says and sets off.

  I take my phone from inside my beach bag and make my way to the shallow waters of the ocean.

  “Hello, can you hear me?” I say when Hunter comes on the line.

  “Yes I hear you,” he replies, sounding displeased.

  I understand being upset about our failed marriage, but does he really have to sound annoyed every time he hears my voice?

  “May I speak to Kaylee please?” I ask.

  “It’s not your weekend Brook. I’d like to enjoy my weekend with her without having you disturbing us.”

  “Hunter, please, I’m not trying to disturb you or ruin your weekend with Kaylee. I miss her, that’s all. I want to say hi to her, hear her voice. She’s with you all the time. It won’t take more than two or three minutes. Please,” I beg as my voice breaks.

  A mother should never have to refrain from calling her child. However, I have been unfortunate enough in life, and it is something I have had to learn in my lifetime to avoid Hunter attacking me every time I want to talk to her. But going weeks without hearing from her is excruciating. Because she is just five years old, it is easy for Hunter to distract her from wanting to hear from me. I fear one day she will forget me, and I will be excluded from her life altogether.

  “It’s my weekend and I don’t need Kaylee hearing your voice and getting depressed because of your bullshit ‘I-miss-you’s and love you’s.’ Call her on Monday before I drop her off to school,” he snaps.

  “She’s my daughter too! You can’t stop me from talking to her,” I cry.

  I no longer feel the cold of the ocean—my body feels hot. For a split second, I forget where I am and can only think, “This is what hells
feels like.” I want to throw the phone into the water and get my daughter. I want to punch Hunter in the face. Why can’t he just drop dead?

  “Maybe you should have thought about that before you ruined our family with Dominic,” he yells as I hear my daughter say, “Daddy who is that?”

  “No one baby,” I hear him answer. Without another word, the call ends, and I feel like an abandoned wounded animal. There is nothing I can do. I stare at my feet and wonder how long he will keep me from my daughter.

  “Don’t let this break you, Brook. He’s angry and Kaylee is his only weapon against you,” I say out loud, praying I convince myself.

  I look up towards the bar and see Dominic laughing on his phone. Laughing as if my world is not crumpling down right now. He notices me and seems startled, but smiles and waves. I return the fake smile as he makes his way to me, hanging up on whoever was entertaining him.

  “Were you able to speak to Kaylee?” he asks.

  It is embarrassing to admit my ex-husband controls my relationship with my daughter. Dominic never seems bothered by the fact that I don’t have custody, but he is fully aware of why I don’t.

  “No. Hunter didn’t want to let me talk to her. He claims it would ruin their weekend,” I say, avoiding eye contact.

  How can he possibly think that when I am her mother? Kaylee loves me. The smile on her face every time I see her proves it. There is no way I can ruin any day for her with my voice.

  I look up at him. By the look on his face, I can tell he is lost for words, aware nothing he says will bring me comfort.

  “Listen, I’m not going to let this ruin our weekend. I’ll handle things with Hunter when I return to New York. We’re on vacation and not for a long one. Let’s make the best of it. I’ll speak with Kaylee after the weekend.” I hold his hand and walk back towards the beach chairs, but in reality I’m holding on to his hand to avoid breaking down and crying.

  While walking back, I remember he was on the phone, and curiosity gets the best of me. “Who were you talking to on the phone?” I ask.

  “Peter called to check on us,” he answers. There is nothing else to ask, so I just drop the interrogation as quickly as I started it.

  Hours later, we debate at which restaurant we should eat dinner at and decide to try the Sea of Life.

  “Wear something nice tonight. I want to take a walk around the hotel and enjoy the night,” he says.

  If you ask me, I think I always look nice, but I guess he would rather be safe than sorry. I brought a beautiful yellow sundress with me. Thanks to our beach date, I have a gorgeous glow, and it will look fantastic on me with my thin gold sandals. I look into the mirror and decide it’s best not to wear make-up. A bit of Oil of Olay and lip-gloss will be more than sufficient. My hair has definitely adjusted to this weather and looks amazing, with natural beach waves.

  “Do you mind if I jump into the shower alone?” I ask him.

  “Of course not, go crazy,” he says laughing.

  I run the shower and wash off the sun block and take advantage to daydream about my Kaylee. Why does life have to be so unfair? Why can’t I have my daughter and the man I love?

  I bend down to get on my knees, “God, please forgive my sins. If I deserve some type of punishment, please spare using my daughter,” I whisper into thin air, wiping the tears from my eyes.

  I wonder if I cross her little mind or if she has found motherly love in someone else. Have I over estimated what a mother’s love really signifies to a child?

  I hold on to all the memories I have of her and the moments I have collected on my cellphone, but they never seem enough to carry me through the days I cannot see her.

  “Are you almost done?” calls Dominic, interrupting my thoughts.

  “Yeah, give me five more minutes.”

  I get out of the shower, apply deodorant, lotion to my face and body, lip-gloss and some frizz-ease lotion onto my hair while it air-dries. He is standing in front of the door when I walk out the bathroom. He kisses me and gives me a big hug. Instantly I feel better, but again he doesn’t notice my heart aching.

  “I’ll be out the shower soon,” he says.

  I go through my luggage and find my dress. It is to die for. I am ready to go in a couple of minutes. I grab a bottle of water from the refrigerator and make my way to the door. “I’ll wait for you by the pool,” I call out from the door.

  “All right. Give me about ten minutes,” he answers.

  The sound of the ocean pervades the pool area. I take advantage and lie on a beach chair. My thoughts are washed away by the waves as they crash into the sand, creating a melody that fascinates me. I look up at the stars. I can’t believe how clear the sky is—I have never seen the stars illumine a night scene, needing little or no electric light. This night is perfect.

  “Ready to eat?” says Dominic, waking me from the nap I didn’t realize I was taking.

  I get up from the chair as he takes my hand. We silently make our way to the restaurant.

  When we arrive for dinner service, a lovely young man smiling from ear to ear as if he is happy to see us greets us and guides us to our seats. He serves us wine.

  Before we know it, beautifully cooked shrimps and lobsters are on the table, and the night is full of laughter, jokes, and memories we share.

  It’s strange how one minute I am unsure of where this is all leading, and then moments like this one happen, and I feel absolutely certain there’s no one but us.

  “Let’s go to the beach and watch the stars for a while,” he says as we leave the restaurant.

  Without waiting for a response, he grabs my hand, and we head towards the beach. I can feel his excitement and sense it will be a bad idea to bring up my mixed emotions now. I push them to the back of my mind, accepting that I have to give everything time. We make it to the beach, and I stop to take off my sandals. We then walk along the sand, soaking up every possible second.

  “Are you enjoying our time here?” he asks.

  “Of course I am! It’s beautiful here, the weather’s amazing, and everything is different from home. I was having doubts about this, but these last couple of hours I feel you’re trying your best. It’s nice to feel you giving me so much attention,” I answer.

  I can’t decipher the look he gives me, but it seems welcoming. He softly glides his hand up my cheek. It’s weird to see this side of him: he isn’t usually this sensitive. But I try acting casual, as if I’m used to this new-found him.

  “I love your brown hair,” he compliments out of the blue.

  “Thank you. What’s on your mind?” I ask. The curiosity is torturing me. His expression remains unchanged. He stares at me wordlessly. I stay quiet—what am I supposed to say? This is one of those awkward moments. A few seconds seem like an eternity.

  “I planned this vacation because I wanted you to have peace of mind with us. I want you to see the man who loves you. I hate the stress I caused you. I have done a lot of thinking about many things you said. I get where you’re coming from. I don’t want you to think or believe any woman comes before you in my life. I imagined losing you. It’s something I simply can’t handle. Now or ever. We’ve had some amazing times. You’ve stuck by me, regardless of how difficult it can be with my job. I couldn’t be any more grateful for this life with you. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I want us. I want us all the time. I want us to use the next couple of months to come up with plans for the rest of our lives. I want you to be my wife.”

  The sounds of the sea mute, my stomach tightens, and I feel like I am in a time warp. I stand still, trying to keep my balance.

  He gets down on one knee, ignoring the waves lapping at his clothes and pulls out a ring. Not just any ring. A ring for me. “Brook, will you marry me?”

  I fall to my knees too, hugging him. I can’t believe this is happening. He takes my hand and slides the ring on my finger. My ring—oh my God—my ring.

  “Yes, yes of course I will marry you.”

 
Chapter 7

  Returning to reality from my vacation reminds me that all good things must come to an end. The city and work after the vacation seemed like a jarring return to reality after an idyllic escapade.

  I tell myself that I’m making the right decision as I walk up to the courthouse, that Kaylee needs me. It took me an infuriatingly long time decide whether I should fight for custody once again—not because I don’t have a fight in me, but I fear the long-term effect this custody battle may have on her.

  Inside the courthouse, I run my hands over my suit jacket, hoping that looking my best will help the situation, and slowly make my way to the help desk.

  To my surprise, there is no one here besides a woman at a counter. I sign my name on the sheet presented for the purpose and stare at my name on the paper. It has been a roller coaster ride going from Mrs. Payton back to Ms. York.

  “May I help you?” drawls the woman, rolling her eyes.

  I was hoping for a kindlier welcome, and I discreetly look around for another employee who could be more helpful. But it’s just the two of us, and she glares at me silently.

  I straighten up, refusing to feel intimidated by anyone, and ignore her unprofessional approach.

  “I’m here to file a petition for custody,” I state.

  “Who are to requesting custody of?” she asks unfazed.

  “My daughter.”

  She must think I am a horrible mother and probably assumes there is valid reason why I don’t have custody to begin with. Does she think my daughter is better off wherever she is as long as she’s not with me? I feel a bit embarrassed, but I refuse to break eye contact.

  She turns around without another word and goes to a file cabinet to retrieve a blank petition form. She places it on the counter. “The instructions are here on the front. You must complete all the captions prior to filing for custody. If you have a lawyer, have your lawyer complete the package. Either you or your lawyer may drop it off to obtain a hearing date,” she recites expressionlessly.

  “How long will it take to get a hearing date?”