My Two Husbands

by Yari Martinez

  She quickly turns around to me apologetically. “Brook, I’m sorry. I know you’re not at fault here, and I will never blame another woman for my problems. I’m sure if it wasn’t for this, we would get along. But that is not the case. Facts are facts. I can’t welcome your baby into my life. I wish you all the best, but I really don’t care to have your baby in my life. I won’t leave my husband either or allow him to abandon my child.” She sounds determined.

  I can’t believe she is really standing by his side. But as hurt as I may be, I will never fight for a man, especially after hearing how little he cares about women. I don’t care what Amanda has to say anymore. Obviously, her agenda is different from mine.

  I walk past Amanda to Dominic. “You will hear from my lawyer. And don’t you ever try to get in touch with me. After all I have been through, I can’t believe you had the balls to pull some shit like this. You are a sorry excuse for a man. Forget that we’re having a child together. You are dead to me,” I say, staring straight into his eyes.

  I can see by the look on his face he has something to say, but he is smart enough to keep his comments to himself.

  I turn around, with Diane being my bodyguard, and see Amanda carefully studying us. I walk up to her, because it is only fair I get to say something to her as well after she has made her position clear, “I don’t care to have your husband in my life or to be a part of his life. But this is not the last time he will hear from me. My child will not be left stranded either. I respect that you want nothing to do with my child, and I have no objections to that. I wasn’t expecting you to be my baby-sitter. But he will take care of his responsibilities, whether he likes it or not. And if I were you, I would leave his ass. He will never change and I will not be the last woman that he will cheat on you with.”

  Amanda’s eyes reflect her devotion to Dominic. It is extremely sad to realize she feels relieved that I am not fighting for her husband and that he will remain a part of her life and the life of her unborn child.

  I pray her child is born with more backbone than either of her parents.

  I turn to Dominic to see if his eyes scream the same as Amanda’s, but I see nothing. And he says nothing.

  It hurts that he never cared about me and that he will be able to live without our baby and me. There will be no love story to share, no wedding pictures to see. It sickens me to think I was just another woman for the books.

  We all look at each other knowing there is nothing else to be said. And Dominic slowly breaks the ice by taking the first steps to walk away. As I watch them leaving, hand in hand, it hits me that her baby will have the father my baby will never have.

  Chapter 15

  “Ladies, your table is ready. Right this way,” says the hostess as she guides us to our table.

  Diane, Julie and I follow her to our table. We decided to meet up for a late lunch to bring Julie up to speed about Dominic and his newfound family, or rather, to discuss the old one that was new to me.

  It’s all really cut and dry. I was caught up in another affair. Only this time, I didn’t know I was having an affair.

  When we settle into our seats, the hostess hands us the menus and says, “Your server today will be Brenda. She’ll be with you shortly. We hope you enjoy your meal.”

  She gives us a welcoming smile and gracefully moves away between the tables.

  “How come she looks happier than I ever do at work?” comments Diane.

  “Behave,” I say sternly and give her a smile. She smiles back, letting me know she will.

  If I wasn’t pregnant I would not waste my time talking about Dominic’s cheating ass, but I can’t ignore what happened and how it’s going to affect my life. I know I shouldn’t, but I feel a sense of pity for myself. Even though I have friends and family to hold my hand through all of this, I can’t help feel alone.

  I have Diane who will never question me, even if I put a dead body into her car. Her only concern will be where we can hide the body. I have Julie, who without reason will fight through it all with me. I also have my mother, who loves me without judgment and is always there for Kaylee and me. But they have their own lives to tend to. Soon enough, I will have to face everything on my own.

  A waitress shows up to our table with water. “Hello I’m Brenda. I will be your server for the day. Would you like any drinks or cocktails before placing your order?”

  Without waiting for us to respond Julie says abruptly, “We will all have the guava mojitos please. Thanks.”

  Julie makes no eye contact with Brenda, who turns around and makes her way to the bar.

  Diane and I look at Julie. We are both wondering what is going on; it’s not like her to be cold and to place an order without a smile.

  “The mojitos are great. Don’t worry about it, you guys will love them,” explains Julie when she notices our surprise.

  I wouldn’t care if it were not for the obvious reason. But whatever, I’ll just drink water.

  “Oh okay,” says Diane as she puts down her menu. I can see she has lost her desire to order her own meal and will let Julie decide what she will eat as well.

  “What’s wrong, Julie?” I ask.

  “I’m sorry, I have a lot on my mind,” she says.

  “Well spill it before you order all our lunches,” commands Diane.

  “Sorry about that, I just want to tell you guys what happened earlier today. After I called you, I got a call from Dominic, who asked me to see him. I found it strange that he would want to meet me, but I said yes. When I asked him if everything was alright, he basically said no and for me not to call you until after I spoke to him.” Julie stopped to take a big gulp of water.

  She definitely has our full attention, and we wait quietly, knowing she still has the floor. It has been a couple of weeks since I last saw Dominic. I was waiting to tell Julie what happened, but it seems it is me who needs to be brought up to speed with things.

  “Anyway, he asked me where I was, and I explained I was home. So he told me to meet him at the Starbucks next to my house. When I got there, he was already there with another woman, and he asked me to take a seat at another table while she waited a few tables away from us. Without saying much, he gave me an envelope and mentioned that the woman waiting for him at the table was his wife Amanda. You know, I must have looked horrified, but he ignored that and continued to explain that she is pregnant with his child and that he has no intentions of leaving her. I asked him, ‘But aren’t you engaged to Brook and having a baby with her?’ I could see his embarrassment, but he didn’t say anything else about it. Anyway, he told me that Amanda knows everything, and she gave him an ultimatum. They’re moving out of New York, but that before he went, he needed to give you something that he drafted with his lawyer. That’s when he handed me the envelope and asked me to review it. He said I have twenty-four hours to send his lawyer a message. When I asked him to please give me at least forty-eight hours, he got up and asked Amanda, who I assume gave him permission. He then came back and said that two days was fine, but that’s it. Brook, I am so sorry.” She looks seriously distressed.

  I look at Diane, not knowing what to think. Is this really happening to me? How did I go from having a man who wanted to spend his entire life with me to finding out that he already has an entire life built without me, right under my nose?

  “How did he know how to reach you?” asks Diane.

  Without looking away from me, Julie answers Diane’s question, knowing it’s me who needs the answer.

  “I asked him that, and he said he got my contact information from your phone,” she says, sounding apologetic.

  I want to feel angry that she was able to speak to Dominic, that she was the one to speak our last words. I know she has no fault in any of this, but I have no one else to direct my anger at.

  “What was in the envelope?” I say, brushing my hair from my face.

  Her face gets red, tears start to roll down her cheeks, and she digs into her bag and pulls out a yellow fol
der and hands it to me.

  I have no idea if she is so shocked by this whole situation that she doesn’t realize I have very little mental capacity to read anything and understand it right now.

  “Julie you’re going to have to tell her what’s in the folder,” says Diane.

  “Oh yeah, I’m sorry. It’s a note addressed to you and paperwork giving you full custody of the baby. It also gives you signed adoption papers, making you the baby’s only parent and giving you the right to give the baby another father. He also left you a bank account in your name alone, in which he will deposit a monthly amount until the baby is twenty-five years old. He’s also left you a life insurance of five hundred thousand dollars, making you the beneficiary in case of his death. His lawyer will make sure you receive it in such a case. He made it whole life, not term. He said that will be regardless of the baby’s age.”

  A note I can’t respond to and more legal stuff to deal with. Great.

  What a complete slap on the face. I couldn’t feel any more worthless if I tried. Our relationship really must have meant nothing to him. I can’t imagine him loving Amanda after all he has done to her, yet he has chosen her over me. Deep down, I know he is doing me a favor, but it doesn’t take away the feeling of being a worthless piece of flesh to him. It saddens me to know that the baby and I mean nothing to him. I am a loss for words. I feel a pit in my throat and I hastily leave the table and rush to the bathroom with the envelope.

  Luckily for me, it’s empty. I lock myself in one of the stalls and throw up everything in me. Except the baby.

  I always suspected that Dominic was not the one for me, but a simple non-pregnant breakup would have been much more appreciated and respected. If I thought my life was a complete disaster earlier, I was wrong. It’s a disaster now.

  My mouth tastes horrible, but I manage to get it together, sit down to read his note.

  “I’m sorry. I know that my sorry will fall on deaf ears, but I am sorry. I know there is nothing I could do to make this up to you, but I hope that what is in this envelope is worth something. I have cut all means of communication between us, not because you don’t mean anything to me, but because I don’t want you to hold on to what I’ve done to you. I have hurt you and Amanda, and I have to find a way to make this right. She’s my wife and I can’t leave her when she has dealt with all I’ve done to her. You and the baby deserve better than me. Please accept what is in the envelope, not for my sake, but because it’s not fair to dump all the responsibilities onto you, as if you’ve done this alone. You never have to say that I’ve given anything. At the end of the day, money is not worth much, and it’s not a contribution to how a child is raised. I know this seems like an easy way out, but I have no right to raise this child with you. Dominic.

  A letter saying nothing.

  “Brook!” I hear Diane call as she tries to figure out in which stall I am.

  “Yeah,” I reply through the tears.

  “Don’t stress about this. I promise it won’t be as bad as you are imagining it to be, come out of there.”

  “Yes it is Diane! What am I going to tell this baby when he asks for his father? I can’t say, ‘Hey buddy, I had a secret affair with your father, and his pregnant wife forced him to pick between you and her baby, and he chose the other baby and abandoned you.’”

  “You’re right, you can’t say that. But we can find a way to make a fake death certificate and just kill him off, and you can give him any image of a father that you want.”

  I laugh a little through my tears, “You always have a cool idea, but I can’t do that either.”

  “Okay, but we can think of something together. Just come out of there, God knows how many invisible creatures are hanging out with you in there!”

  I don’t move. I can’t help but stare at my stomach and imagine it getting bigger until it stops growing, and then I have a baby on my hands.

  “Diane, he left me like trash, I wasn’t even worth a conversation. I’m pregnant with his child. I was fake engaged. I mean nothing, this baby means nothing to him!” I cry behind the closed bathroom door, refusing to allow anyone to pull me through this embarrassment.

  “That’s not true, trust me, it isn’t. I’m sure he wants to talk to you, but he can’t. He got caught with all his lies, and now Amanda is up his ass. I’m sure she’s scared that if he talks to you he’ll leave her. Believe me, you and the baby do matter to him. If Dominic didn’t care, he wouldn’t bother about your financial well-being.”

  I thrust the letter back into the envelope and get off the toilet and open the door, not because I believe her, but because I want to go home.

  Diane looks as broken as I do.

  “Maybe I’ll abort this baby and end this damn nightmare,” I say.

  Chapter 16

  It is early afternoon when I decide it is best to stay home with Kaylee and give myself a mental break.

  “Mommy! Can we go outside and play?” asks Kaylee.

  “Of course princess, give mommy a minute to finish doing the dishes. Then we can go outside to play. Deal?” I say.

  Kaylee looks at me with her big blue eyes and gives me the most beautiful smile in the world. I walk up to her, pick her up and hug her tight. She squeals in delight and squirms in my arms.

  “Mommy! Hurry and wash the dishes. I want to go outside!” she cries.

  “Okay, okay but I needed a big huggies from you before that.”

  “No you didn’t,” she laughs.

  “Yes I did,” I say, laughing back at her. “Go play with your dolls for a bit and I’ll be done soon.”

  “Okay mommy,” she calls as she disappears.

  Truth is, I wasn’t doing the dishes, but reading through the paperwork Dominic has left behind as if death has done us part.

  It’s still hard to believe that he is married and expecting a baby with someone else. I have been torturing myself with thousands of questions that I know will never get answered. Yes, I was stupid enough to fall into his trap, but how is it that Amanda didn’t notice that he was carrying on with me? I feel there is so much I don’t know.

  I haven’t made any attempt to get in touch with Dominic—his actions spoke loud and clear. But I can’t help feeling hurt by his neglect.

  I know there can be no valid explanation for his behavior, but I wish that he had said something comforting in his note. Instead, his words were pointless and left me feeling worse.

  It’s a shame that he believes money alone will be enough help to raise our child. A baby needs both parents. A part of me wants to say we don’t need anything at all from him, but the other part of me feels he has to contribute, however little, to our baby.

  I’ve been confused about what to do and can’t believe I have been sinister enough to consider terminating my pregnancy. I think it only crossed my mind because I feel trapped in an emotional hell, a desolate and uncaring world.

  Looking down at the paperwork, I see it’s wet: my constant tears are pitiful. I must snap out of this depression somehow and not allow my emotions to make me think crazy things such as aborting my baby. I cup my mouth to prevent Kaylee from hearing my sobs.

  “Mommy, why are you crying?”

  I turn around, startled, not expecting to get caught when I am lost in my thoughts. Kaylee looks so innocent holding her doll in her hands, a worried look on her little face.

  “Mommy isn’t crying,” I say, wiping my tears away.

  “Yes you are mommy. Are you crying because you want daddy to come outside to play with us?”

  I walk up to her and kneel down to the level of her beautiful eyes. I run my hands through her curly hair, wanting to soak up her every feature as she stands there wondering what is going on.

  “No baby,” I say, because I can’t think of anything else.

  “That’s good, because I don’t want daddy to come outside with us,” she says, looking down at her doll.

  I was not expecting to hear that, and I try not to appear stunned by her
comment.

  “Kaylee, why wouldn’t you want daddy to come with us?”

  “Because daddy is always mean and angry.”

  I get up and walk over to the counter and grab the paperwork, shoving it into a nearby drawer to buy myself some time to recover from my shock.

  “Why do you say that?” I ask, hoping I am not asking the wrong question.

  “Daddy never wants to play, and he’s always mad at me because I want to see you. Daddy says I can’t talk about you all the time, because you are a bad woman and left us, but I want to be with you and play with you.”

  I always found fault with other parents for not protecting their children. Little did I know I was going down the same path myself. Clearly, I have been underestimating Hunter’s temper.

  “Oh honey, daddy doesn’t mean that. He was probably upset about something else. You can talk about me, okay? I promise we’ll have more playing time together. I promise,” I assure her, hoping I sound convincing.

  What is wrong with Hunter? Why would he say anything to hurt Kaylee like this? Kaylee should have to face none of this. Who does that?

  “You promise we can play a lot of times?” asks Kaylee.

  I bring her tiny hands to my lips and kiss them, “Of course I promise.”

  I become instantly worried. What is going to happen when Hunter gets granted visitation with Kaylee after our next court hearing? I didn’t know Hunter was doing this to her. How do I bring this up at court? I knew I wasn’t safe with Hunter but never in a million years would it have occurred to me that Kaylee wouldn’t be safe from him. I should have dealt with the abuse he was putting me through and not allowed myself to be separated from my baby.

  “Has daddy ever hit you?”

  She looks up at me and says, “No he only hits you.”

  Her words are a punch to the gut. I’m afraid to find out what else Kaylee knows.

  “How about mommy does the dishes later and we go outside and play now?”