It's a Match!

by Zoë Marshall

  “Really? I was thinking we could go to a coffee shop or something.”

  “Sorry … homework,” Sutton repeated.

  “I understand,” Justin said, in a defeated tone. “Maybe tomorrow?”

  “Yeah … maybe.” Sutton had absolutely no intention of ever hanging out with Justin again. She just wanted to go back to her dorm and shower until she could wash away the shame of the last couple hours.

  Justin gave her an awkward hug and Sutton returned to her room, her head still hanging low. All she could think was, I’m coming for you, Cole….

  Ava was in front of her mirror plucking her eyebrows when she saw Sutton walk in.

  “How was the date?” Ava asked, anxiously.

  “I don’t even want to talk about it.”

  “That bad, huh?”

  “Worse … so much worse than bad. Let’s just say there were mage and warrior costumes involved,” Sutton said, clearly embarrassed.

  “Ooh … sexy mage and warrior costumes?” Ava asked, intrigued.

  “No. Awful, awful costumes.”

  “Yeah … I’m going to have to hear that whole story.”

  “Well, you know the game Magic: The Gathering…?”

  THREESOME? I’LL PASS. If I wanted to disappoint two people at once, I’d have dinner with my parents. I’m honestly just looking for some free meals. I may or may not have a mild drinking problem. If you’re wondering why I’m so hilarious, it’s because I used to be fat.

  Cole: I was hoping to find a girl who wanted free meals, because I love paying for meals.

  Hailey: Is that so?

  Cole: It is so.

  Hailey: Then we may be the perfect match.

  Cole: And I’m pretty sure I was fat in a past life, so I get it.

  Hailey: Now that I’m hot, my life has changed completely. Guys literally bend over backwards for me constantly.

  Cole: You sound like a lot of fun.

  Hailey: Oh, I am.

  Cole: So fun that you’d want to go out with me?

  Hailey: Or we could stay in….

  Cole: What about the free meal though?

  Hailey: Oh, yeah. We may need our energy. Tonight is no good for me. I have a date. Tomorrow work?

  Cole: Sounds great ;)

  Sutton hadn’t given Cole much about Hailey, just a picture and something about her being funny and not getting along with her parents. He was beginning to get mildly worried about Sutton punishing him for his apparent horrible taste in dates. She had called him the night before, seething, to yell at him for setting her up with a LARPer. How was he supposed to know? His profile seemed mostly completely normal.

  Cole had stifled a laugh as Sutton told him all about dressing up as the odd warrior/wizardess creation. He just kept picturing her hanging out with Harry and Hermione at Hogwarts. He shouldn’t have been entertained, but come on….

  Sutton instructed Cole to pay for dinner. He was a gentleman, so that had been the plan anyway. He decided to take Hailey to get burgers, seeing as those were his favorite. If she didn’t like burgers, it would never work anyway. He was to pick her up in front of her dorm at 7:00 p.m. He dressed in his nicest collared shirt and dark jeans.

  Just as he was about to leave, Hunter walked in. “You look dapper. Headed somewhere?”

  “Yeah, another date. I’m a little concerned about it.”

  “Why’s that?” Hunter asked, headed to his usual spot at his desk.

  “Sutton’s date yesterday was a complete disaster. I’m pretty sure I’ll be paying for it tonight.”

  “At the very least, you’ll get a great story out of it,” Hunter said, opening his laptop.

  “This is true. I should get going.”

  “Have fun.”

  “I’ll try my best. See ya later.”

  Cole headed out to Hailey’s dorm. It was quite a few dorms over, so at least he probably wouldn’t have to worry about seeing her around if she turned out to be crazy, but he was still banking on Sutton’s pure heart. When he arrived, he texted Hailey to let her know he had arrived. She texted back that she’d be right down.

  Cole paced around until Hailey appeared in front of him. She was beautiful. He was satisfied with Sutton’s choice, at least for now. She was the typical blonde bombshell with the perfect figure, deep brown eyes, and a smile that could melt ice.

  She kissed him on the cheek. “Hey you.”

  “Hey. You look great.”

  “Thank you. You don’t look too bad yourself,” Hailey said playfully.

  This girl appeared to be perfect to Cole, but he was going to proceed with serious caution. “Are burgers okay for dinner?”

  “Well, I’m gluten-free and vegan, so as long as they have salads….”

  “I think they have salads. We’ll check out the menu.” Cole thought that Sutton wouldn’t be a fan of this girl. Picky eaters already weren’t her thing, but extreme, odd, and unnecessary diet restrictions were among her list of biggest pet peeves.

  Cole and Hailey began the trek downtown. They talked about her various exercise routines and how Cole’s football season was going. It was a good talk and he felt comfortable with her. He wasn’t going to let one weird dietary issue ruin this for him.

  About thirty minutes later, Cole and Hailey were seated at the restaurant. She was perusing the menu trying to find an item she would be ‘allowed’ to eat. After a couple minutes of that, she settled on a spinach salad.

  As the server was taking their order, Hailey interrogated her about the menu: “Do you have a gluten free salad dressing option?” … “Are there eggs in that?” … “Is the chicken cooked in the same general vicinity as any wheat?” … “Do you know where the chickens were raised?” … and so on.

  Cole hung his head low with embarrassment. This wasn’t even a really fancy place, and the server appeared to know very few of the answers to these questions. She apologized and told Hailey she would need to grab her manager. The manager walked over and Hailey continued to bombard him with questions.

  The manager and Hailey finally found a chicken spinach salad she could eat and she smiled, satisfied.

  Cole didn’t know much about vegans, but he was fairly sure they didn’t eat chicken.

  Once the whole food ordering ordeal was over, she pulled her phone out of her purse and began texting feverishly. Cole was in the middle of a story about Hunter when she appeared to stop paying attention completely. He stopped talking and she didn’t even notice.

  Finally, she put her phone down. “Sorry, were you saying something?”

  “No, never mind. It’s not important. I just—”

  Her phone chirped. She picked it back up and smiled as she read the mystery text. Cole stared at her in disbelief.

  Hailey sent another text and told Cole she needed to go to the restroom before the food arrived. He nodded.

  Hailey left her phone on the table and Cole was somewhat compelled to pick it up and look at it, but he chose not to. It would be an invasion of privacy. He did, however, lean across the table to look at it when he heard the next text coming in. Then he saw it:

  “Then I caress your supple—”

  That was all Cole needed to read. Was this girl seriously sexting during their date? It was bad enough that she was a complete embarrassment to go to dinner with, but now she was also that girl—the girl who texts nonstop at inappropriate times. He was going to have to make a break for it. He stood up, placed a twenty-dollar bill on the table, and left. She probably wouldn’t even notice he was gone, given how little attention she was paying to him. And obviously she had more fun places to be anyway.

  Cole walked back to his dorm, shaking his head the whole time. This wasn’t going well at all. How could he and Sutton suck so badly at picking out dates for each other? He’d thought they knew everything about each other, but it was becoming apparent that he’d been wrong.

  SUTTON SAT IN front of her computer staring at the blinking horizontal black line on her screen. She had
written a couple of chapters of her book during the past week, but she appeared to be blocked at this point. The book was a romantic comedy about an aspiring actress getting over a breakup. She was having a lot of fun writing it. The ex in the book was fictional, though Sutton wouldn’t exactly have said the character was nothing like Aiden…. Sutton had modeled the protagonist after herself a bit, but she tuned up the sarcasm and dark humor. She figured it would be more fun that way.

  After a couple more minutes of staring at the screen, Sutton decided to work on tidying up her room. She was ecstatic because Cole was going to be arriving the next day for a weekend visit. She hadn’t seen him in months and she was looking forward to laughing with her best friend again. And, of course, giving him much grief about his date-picking-out skills (or lack thereof), though she apparently wasn’t that great at it either.

  It was a hard thing to do, choosing dates based only on a couple pictures and a short bio. It didn’t really tell anything about the person. Sutton knew the traits Cole would value in a relationship, but it wasn’t like people were terribly honest in the way they described themselves. She had been scrolling through profiles that morning and was having no luck.

  Mandy, age 19: I’m looking for friends that won’t try to get into my pants. I tend to do things I don’t like to do to better myself. Like eating vegetables, exercising, and bathing. I judge how you hug.

  Caitlyn, age 18: Bikes, books and babes fill up most of my time. I’m kinda poly, kinda queer, kinda punk and life is good. I love learning about how things work. My plate is kinda full of babes for bangin’, but I’m always down to hang with other cool cats.

  Linda, age 19: Let’s sauce in the tub together, ya dig? Splishy splashy, giggle giggle.

  Mary Anne, age 20: The only reason I’m on here is to find someone to bring to family events so my parents stop harassing me about when I’m going to settle down.

  Stephanie, age 18: I’m crossing my fingers that your standards are much lower than mine.

  Julie, age 18: I’m just looking for a rich future ex-husband.

  Leah, age 21: I’m a mortician who likes to tie together the shoelaces of the dead, because if there is ever a zombie apocalypse, it would be hilarious.

  Sutton was becoming mildly discouraged. She was a perfectionist and all she wanted was to find Cole the perfect girl, but she was beginning to wonder if such a thing even existed. It would help if Cole weren’t so darn picky. He was probably exaggerating about how badly the dates were going. Maybe a part of her was subconsciously trying to get him back for setting her up with these awful guys, but that wasn’t really Sutton’s style.

  Ava was painting her nails on her bed and listening to old school Britney Spears, circa “Baby One More Time,” singing along joyfully. Sutton loved her roommate. She was everything Sutton needed to be around. She was positive, fun and outgoing. She made sure Sutton didn’t hide in her room, burying herself in romance novels, which she tended to do at times.

  She knew Cole would love Ava, too. Maybe they would be a good match…. No, that would be too weird. Plus, Ava was the kind of girl who would never turn to a dating app. She had absolutely no problem finding guys to worship her. They flocked to her, like flies to a jar of honey. Sutton knew Ava didn’t judge her for her and Cole’s little arrangement, but it just wasn’t something she would do. Ava was actually having a lot of fun with it, helping Sutton get dressed up and hearing all of the horror stories when she got home from her disastrous dates. It was like a trashy reality show to Ava.

  “I’m so excited to meet Cole,” Ava said. “I feel like I know everything about him since you talk about him so damn much.”

  Sutton laughed a bit. “I’m looking forward to you meeting him too.”

  “Is he going to be sleeping in your bed? I can make myself scarce if you want,” Ava said, with her patented Ava smirk.

  “God, no. He got a hotel room. We’re best friends, but not exactly bed buddies.”

  “You’re telling me you’ve never thought about it?”

  “It crossed my mind for a nanosecond when we were first hanging out, but the thought was gone as quickly as it came,” Sutton replied. “And I just don’t see him like that.”

  “Mm hm.”

  “I don’t! And he’s so not my type anyway.”

  “I just don’t really believe a guy and girl can be friends without at least one of them wanting it to be more.”

  “I think that’s probably mostly true, but me and Cole are the exception to the rule,” Sutton said, glad that she didn’t have to worry about that with Cole.

  “I feel like you have high standards because you’re comparing every guy to him. And that says something.”

  “I so do not,” Sutton replied, then went back to scrolling through Matchbox potential matches, but gave up shortly thereafter. “Hey, do you want to come with me to the bookstore? I have to pick up a book for my astronomy class.”

  “Sure. Just let these bad boys finish drying.”

  COLE DIDN’T FEEL the need to pack much for the trip. A couple pairs of jeans, a few shirts, deodorant and a toothbrush would suffice. He was a low-maintenance kind of guy and he much preferred it that way. He had timed the trip to be on a weekend without practice or a game. He wasn’t going to jeopardize his spot on the football team. He was hoping to be able to play a game someday, and he knew he couldn’t be missing out on anything. He was the youngest guy on the team and had to prove himself.

  Cole decided to check out Sutton’s Matchbox. He’d been looking for a guy to make up for all of the crappy ones he kept choosing, but he wasn’t having much luck.

  Matt, age 18: I’m a desperate and lonely guy who’s looking for the one to marry me and have kids with immediately. I live at home with my mom and I’m unemployed with no prospects. I’m 4” tall with a pot belly and a fairly serious gambling addiction. I love drinking whiskey with breakfast and I’m heavily in debt. Please, please like me.

  Colin, age 19: They say a picture is worth a thousand words; well, a picture of me just screams badass over and over again. I jive talk with the best of them. I’m the curiosity that killed the cat. I walk around with a huge chip on my shoulder. I am the bee’s knees, the cat’s pajamas. I’m super successful for my age, so gold diggers need not apply.

  Keith, age 20: I saved a baby from a burning building once. I’ve probably hit on your mom at a Wendy’s. I’m looking for someone who will make me corndogs and let me touch their butt whenever I feel like it.

  Dan, age 18: I play 8 different instruments and I love 7-11 slushies. Don’t even try to bring me a cherry or cola flavor because I’ll never talk to you again. Blue raspberry is the only way to go.

  Mark, age 21: I’m a simple guy. I enjoy the finer things in life, like having no zits and getting out of work early.

  “This is hopeless,” Cole muttered to himself. He put his phone down and returned to packing.

  Hunter walked in a few minutes later and immediately walked to his desk and opened his laptop. “Hey buddy,” he said, over his shoulder.

  “Hey.”

  “Are you prepared for the big visit?”

  “I think so … I packed a few key items and put gas in my car.”

  Hunter laughed and turned to face Cole. “No, I don’t mean packing. I mean finally seeing Sutton again after these last few months. Don’t think I don’t hear your phone conversations.”

  “You mean the ones where she fills me in on her bad date stories? The dates I set her up on?”

  “Speaking of which, why are you picking these guys for her? From what I know about her from your incessant talking about her, she wants a guy more like … I don’t know, more like you.”

  Cole laughed loudly. “Yeah, right. I’m not even close to Sutton’s type.”

  “I thought you were trying to break her out of those patterns?”

  “Yeah, I guess I am. I don’t know … I’m sort of failing at this and it was my idea, so I feel bad.”

  “Why on
earth would you feel bad? After the numerous shit-show girls she’s hooked you up with?” Hunter asked.

  “I’m starting to think we may not know each other as well as we thought we did.”

  “Or maybe the problem is that you know each other even better than you thought?”

  “What do you mean?” Cole asked curiously.

  “You know everything she wants and you’re setting her up with the opposite type of guy. Why is that?”

  “I’m not doing that. I’m just trying to find her someone funny, because there’s nothing Sutton likes to do more than laugh.

  “Well, that’s very noble of you,” Hunter replied, turning back to his laptop.

  Cole sat down at the edge of his bed and thought about what Hunter said. He had been inseparable from Sutton for over four years. He had to know her well … right? Better than anyone else in her life did, at least. He wanted her to be happy, more than anything. She hadn’t smiled quite the same since her breakup with Aiden. She was very good at fooling the world, but not so good at fooling him. He always saw through her and Sutton seemed to find that comforting. And she did the same with him. The truth was, he had thought about pursuing something with her in the beginning, but quickly realized she was much better as a friend. Good friends were rare, and he valued her friendship more than anything.

  Cole was so excited he barely slept that night.

  SUTTON WAS DOING some last minute cleaning when she got the text that Cole was almost there. She quickly changed out of her Ninja Turtle pajamas and into a simple jeans and sweater combo. It wasn’t like she needed to impress Cole. It was his friendship-ly duty to accept her as-is.