Book 4: 3rd World Products, Inc.

by Ed Howdershelt

  When Mills looked at me, I shrugged and said, “It's what I think, that's all. What I expect to see happen. Doesn't necessarily mean it will."

  Chapter Forty-Seven

  I set off walking again and the ladies joined me as before, with Steph on my right and Mills on my left. They both seemed rather thoughtful as we ambled along the front walkways in silence for some minutes.

  "Steph,” I said, “I once asked Elkor if he could make you a new place to live and put a regular core in my flitter. Did one of you ever make that ... housing?"

  She turned to look at me and said, “Yes."

  Nodding, I said, “Good. Your plans would be hamstrung or delayed indefinitely if anything happened to me. Now's the time to put you in that new core, I think. Where is it?"

  "Elkor has it."

  Mills glanced at each of us, but said nothing.

  "Well, tonight's the night, then,” I said, “Program the new flitter core to respond as much like you as possible and drop it in. Will you have to go offline for a while?"

  "Yes, but only for a few minutes at most."

  I nodded again and sighed. “Don't stay gone too long, milady."

  Taking her hand, I kissed it, then I leaned to kiss her cheek and said, “Go do it."

  Steph smiled, then said, “Elkor is sending the core here, Ed. I won't have to go anywhere. I'll just be unavailable for a few minutes during the transfer."

  "Oh. Well, it's still a big moment, so keep the kisses. When will it get here?"

  Elkor spoke to me through my link.

  "Ed, she can't tell you that. It might be considered a clue to..."

  "Yeah, I know. To your location. Okay."

  "What?” asked Mills, having heard only my answer.

  "Elkor's on the horn,” I said. “They won't tell me when the core will arrive because he's got a concealment deal with the Amarans and travel time might be a clue."

  My answer apparently only confused her more.

  "Never mind,” I said, “It'll get here when it gets here."

  Steph asked, “Ed, why tonight?"

  "You'll need independence, Steph. This PFM thing could get nasty and I want to make sure they can't easily use me to get to you."

  I used my implant to create a disk-shaped field about the size of a trash can lid and stepped onto it, then envisioned it elongating upward. When I was about five feet above the ground, I jumped up and down on the field. The top surface gave only slightly directly under my feet and quickly resolidified.

  Staring at the ghostly pillar under my feet, Mills reached tentatively to touch it and asked, “Just what the hell are you doing?"

  "Thinking about launching platforms,” I said. “For gliding.” Looking down and around once, I added, “Might also be good for house painting and tree trimming, I guess."

  Steph snickered and said, “I have a suggestion."

  "What's that?"

  "A much wider base, unless you want to fight the wind above ten feet or so."

  "Done thunka that, ma'am. This was just to see if the idea would work."

  Steph seemed puzzled.

  "You already knew you could stand on a field, Ed."

  "Yeah, but that was with steps and small stuff. How high do you think I could go?"

  "That would depend on how well you can control your field."

  I wetted a finger and held it up.

  "Not much wind,” I said. “Stand by and tell me when I get to a thousand feet."

  "What?” asked Mills. “You're going to..."

  Feeding the field as much and as quickly as possible, I began rising straight up. In fact, I was rising much faster than I'd believed possible. What seemed like only seconds passed until Steph said through my implant, “One thousand, Ed."

  "Thanks, milady. Glider on."

  I couldn't see them, but I felt my wings snap into being above me and suddenly the light breeze seemed to be a gale that shoved me off the pillar backward. I pulled the bar to bring the nose level, then nosed downward some more to gain some forward speed, passing through the spot where the pillar had briefly existed.

  It was a short flight. I circled until I was within a couple of feet of the ground and flared slightly to slow down, said “glider off", and touched down.

  My watch beeped as I saw half a dozen people swarm out of the front doors of the complex building. With a grin, I tapped the watch on to allow Karen to hear whatever might be said.

  "Ed,” said Linda without preamble, “Is that you messing around out front?"

  "Yeah, Linda. I had an idea that worked. Why are you still here? What happened to your plans with Wallace?"

  "Stand by one, Dragonfly."

  She told someone to stand down and received an acknowledgement that sounded kind of tinny, so I figured she was speaking to someone on her phone intercom.

  "Our plans are still on,” said Linda. “Just delayed momentarily. Ed, Base Security almost had kittens. Call in first the next time, okay?"

  Grinning at Karen and Steph, I saluted my watch and said, “Oh, yes, ma'am, Fearless Leader, I'll try to remember to do that. How did they spot me?"

  Linda laughed and said, “As I understand it, someone on forward watch boards yelled that the 'Empire fucking State Building just landed in the front yard!' just before he hit the button and scrambled a team. What did you do?"

  I told her about the field column and my flight as I watched the team people stop and then return indoors.

  "Okay,” said Linda. “Should I tell them to expect any more surprises tonight?"

  "Nah, prob'ly not. That was a spur-of-the-moment thing."

  "Okay. Later, Ed."

  "Later, Linda."

  She clicked off. Karen turned from watching the people by the doors and looked at me long and hard for a few moments, then shook her head as if in disbelief.

  "That was an armed response team,” she said. “You just put the whole base on alert with your silliness."

  "No, some guy on the watch board did that."

  "You know what I mean."

  "Keeps ‘em alert. Now they'll have something to talk about on the night shift. Linda wasn't too upset about it, was she? Don't get all contentious on me, doc, or you can kiss those devil's food cookies goodbye. By the way, are there any left?"

  She glanced down at the bag in her hand, then thrust it at me, then yanked it back and pulled out another cookie before thrusting it at me again. I took it and looked inside. Several cookies gone. Shaking my head, I took out a cookie.

  "Damn. I'm lucky to have any left. Never trust a woman with a bag of chocolate anything, right? I never even noticed you snarfing down a dozen cookies."

  "Three,” emphasized Mills. “Three cookies, not a dozen. Get your facts straight before you accuse people."

  I shrugged and nodded. “Yeah, okay. Three. And that one's four. You're gonna swell up like a blimp, lady."

  Displaying the cookie between us with a narrow gaze, Karen brought it to her open mouth and drove her teeth through the corner of it so that they met with an audible click.

  Grinning, I asked, “That's your answer, huh?"

  Around a mouthful of cookie she firmly said, “Yeth. It ith,” then she tried to hold her laughter until she could get the bite of cookie down.

  Steph watched the play for a moment, then said, “I'm bringing the cooler down. Dr. Mills looks as if she could use a can of tea."

  The flitter ‘landed’ in Steph's usual manner, which is to say that it descended so quickly that when it slowed to a more stately speed about fifty feet above us, a strong blast of air continued downward and washed over us.

  Steph appeared aboard the flitter and directed a tea to Karen and a Dr Pepper to me, then said, “My new core container will arrive shortly in hangar four."

  "Mind if I invite some witnesses?"

  With a shrug Steph said, “No. It might even be a good idea."

  Hopping aboard the flitter, I held a hand toward Mills.

  "You want me there?” s
he asked.

  "You got anything better to do?"

  She took my hand and stepped up on the deck.

  I tapped my watch and said, “Linda."

  "Yes, Ed."

  "Got a few minutes before you go?"

  "For what?"

  "A family matter. Steph's about to become independent in hangar four. She's moving into a new core."

  Her answer was instantaneous.

  "Tonight?! Uh, yes! Okay! We can be there in five!"

  "See you then."

  Linda clicked off. Knowing her, there'd likely be nothing frantic about her departure from the office, but Wallace might have to stretch a bit to keep pace with her march.

  Steph guided the flitter into hangar four and we sat talking as we waited for Linda and Wallace. The new core arrived much as the PFM had; it streaked through the doorway and zipped across the hangar to land on the deck near the flitter's console.

  I stared at the basketball-sized silver ball on the deck for a moment, then looked at Steph. She smiled. The big hangar doors closed even as the little ones at the other end of the hangar opened. I glanced at the deck where the treasure was piled and then looked at Steph.

  Through my implant she said, “Elkor will maintain my fields during the transfer."

  Nodding, I sipped my Dr Pepper and eyed Karen's skirted legs as Linda and Wallace approached the flitter and boarded. Elkor's cat-golem appeared and sat down.

  Without preamble Steph said, “I'm transferring the new core programming to the flitter now. The new programming can become acquainted with you while I transfer myself into my new container."

  When Steph said no more, Wallace glanced around once and asked, “That's it?"

  "Isn't that enough?” I asked. “Steph will have her own, uh ... body ... after tonight."

  "I just thought there'd be a little more to it than that,” said Wallace, thumbing at Linda. “She made it sound like a major undertaking."

  "Uh, huh.” I looked at Steph and asked, “You're using the old core for the new program? I thought there'd be a more limited version installed."

  "The limits are in the programming,” she said. “Think of me as I was before we went to the station."

  The flitter's console display activated, but remained blank.

  "I've finished transferring the new core programming,” said Steph, “Now it's my turn. There's quite a bit more data to transfer, so I've chosen to accomplish the exchange without continuing our interaction."

  I took a long look at Stephanie. She seemed completely unconcerned, but for some reason I felt as if I should try to memorize her. She smiled and disappeared.

  From the console came Steph's voice. “Hi, Ed. I'm your new flitter core."

  Turning to face the blank screen, I said, “Nice to meet you. You sound just like Stephanie."

  "I'm essentially a very abridged copy of her,” she said. “Would you mind if I chose my own name and appearance?"

  "Go for it,” I said. “But I reserve the right to change things, and I'd like you to use Toni Tenille's voice. Look her up in the music index."

  "Well, yes, sir, sir,” she said in a rich, husky contralto, then she almost wonderingly said, “Oh, yes, that is a nice voice, isn't it? For my appearance, I thought I might use an athletic variation of Margaux Hemingway, modified to suit a height of six feet. I'd also like to have brunette hair, at least for now. Are those acceptable interim parameters?"

  "They sound great, ma'am. Show me a preview, please."

  The screen displayed an absolutely stunning woman who wasn't quite Margaux Hemingway. Very similar, but subtly different in a manner that I couldn't quite put my finger on.

  'Oh, hell, yes, that's acceptable!' I thought.

  "I'm glad we agree,” said the computer.

  "What?” asked Wallace. “You didn't say anything, Ed."

  Without turning, I said, “Didn't have to. She had her finger on my pulse, Emory."

  "But why six feet?” he asked, “Why so tall?"

  "I like ‘em tall. She knows that because she's got some of Steph's memories."

  The computer said, “I'd personally prefer being tall, as well. Are there any physical adjustments you'd like to make, O new lord and master? I'd planned on only moderate breasts, but I can be flexible."

  For some reason her remark and tone irritated me.

  "Miz Whozis, let's get to know each other a little better before you push any farther, here. I don't much give a damn about the size of your boobs. Go with whatever suits you. No Mae West balloons, though, okay?"

  She “sighed” and said, “Steph said I'd get away with it, but I had my doubts. Yes, sir. Got it, sir. Of course, sir. All that stuff, sir."

  Linda snorted, then laughed aloud.

  When I looked at her, she said, “Now you know how it feels."

  I turned back to face the console, silently mimicking her 'now you know how it feels'. Wallace and Mills laughed with Linda.

  "Hey, Flittergirl,” I said somewhat tensely, “Your predecessor—a very dear friend of mine—is moving into what looks to me like a goddamned basketball and I'm more than a little worried about her, so I'd appreciate it if you'd take it easy with personality practice for the moment. Play later."

  "Understood,” she said, then, “But don't worry, Ed. I'm monitoring Steph's transfer and she says things are going perfectly."

  "Thanks. How much longer is she going to be offline?"

  "Fifty-six seconds."

  "Is that time enough for you to come up with a name?"

  "Now who's being pushy?"

  Linda snickered, but tried to look innocent when I glanced at her.

  "Computer,” I said, “Maybe I wasn't prepared enough to meet you. You sound a bit more ... sentient than I expected. Are you going to want a Lorunan citizenship, too?"

  I heard Mills ask, “A what?” and Linda say, “Later."

  "Yes,” said the computer, “But not for purposes of emancipation. I've been made self-aware in this activation, but I'm much more limited than Stephanie. Still, being a flitter core is a giant step up from what I used to do."

  "What did you do before you were deactivated?"

  The face on the screen twisted in distaste and said, “Waste recycling. Very dull, boring work, even when I wasn't sentient. Gee, I hope working with you proves to be more interesting than waste recycling, Ed."

  Mills laughed along with Linda and Wallace. My over-the-shoulder glance at them gave them another horselaugh.

  I turned back to the console and asked, “Don't you have any of Steph's memories? Don't you know what I do around here?"

  "No, Ed. Stephanie and Elkor issued me only certain personality, occupational, and linguistic essentials, as well as cursory introductory data concerning you and people with whom you interact. I was informed that you are semi-retired."

  Yet another round of laughter sounded behind me.

  Looking past me at the others with a mildly wary expression, the new program speculatively stated, “A retiree who has access to this base and a secured hangar and who legally owns one of three noncommercial, prototype flitters. To borrow a phrase; 'That does not compute.' Would someone please tell me what's really happening and what's funny about it?"

  "You'll see,” said Linda. “Can you access Ed's employment history files?"

  "No, Linda. Stephanie wanted me to begin at the beginning with everyone."

  "Elkor,” I said, “Will you provide her access links on Linda's approval?"

  "Yes, Ed. Shall I do so?"

  "I think she should know what she may be getting into."

  Elkor's little cat face turned to Linda, who nodded and said, “She'll be working with him, so she'll need essentially the same access Stephanie had. Has. Whatever."

  Elkor said, “Yes, Linda."

  The flitter computer's onscreen expression seemed reflective for a few moments, then her eyes widened slightly and she looked directly at me as she said rather flatly, “I'll be sure to make regular backups
in a safe place."

  Turning her gaze to Elkor, she said somewhat accusingly, “You used only the words 'often interesting' and 'sometimes entertaining' when I asked about my new job."

  "You asked for my opinion,” said Elkor, “But Stephanie had instructed me to limit your access to her memories. Shall I reactivate a different unit for this position?"

  After a look at me and the others, she drolly said, “No, I'll simply take measures to ensure my continuance in the event of a dire mishap. May I have an alternate core for compressed data storage?"

  Elkor looked at me.

  "Sure,” I said with a grinning shrug. “We'll find room for it somewhere. Maybe under the couch or in the garage."

  With a nod, Elkor faced the screen and said, “I'll deliver it to you later."

  "Thank you."

  I asked, “Are you generally satisfied with having a female persona?"

  With a chuckle the computer said, “I was reactivated with a female persona, so it seems natural enough to me. If I decide I don't like it, may I change?"

  Shrugging again, I said, “Sure, but if you change genders, you'll have to find me a replacement core first."

  With a laugh, Linda said, “That's blatant discrimination, Ed."

  "Well, that's just too damned bad, too, Linda. I don't get along well with men."

  "Ed,” said the flitter computer, “I'd like my name to be Susanne. Or Susan."

  "You choose,” I said. “Either's fine with me."

  "Susanne,” she said.

  "You got it. Sue for short, okay?"

  The face on the console screen nodded. “Okay."

  Stephanie suddenly materialized to one side of the silver ball, then the ball rose from the deck. At a height of about three feet it began to elongate along its central axis and became an ovoid, then the ovoid continued stretching until it was about six feet tall and moved to hover within Stephanie's now-translucent holoimage.