Book 4: 3rd World Products, Inc.

by Ed Howdershelt

  Faking a sigh, Sue sounded exasperated as she said, “Yes, I suppose so. Sorry."

  "Would you believe I have an innate sense of direction?"

  "Possibly, but not one that expresses itself in numeric compass degrees."

  I grinned as I pointed dead west and said, “That's two-seventy, exactly."

  Sue gave me a narrow, studious gaze. Pointing beyond the nose of the flitter, I said, “And that's the difference; just about ten degrees."

  Her gaze became positively examining.

  "Can't figure out how I knew, huh?” I asked with a grin. “Good."

  "Tell me how you knew our heading, Ed."

  "Nope. Gotta have a few secrets, milady."

  I let my eyes leave hers and fall to her legs.

  Sue's skirt drew itself upward an inch or so along her thighs as she said, “Tell me, Ed."

  "Nope."

  The skirt rose slowly another inch.

  "Tell me, Ed."

  "Nope. You can shorten that skirt all you want, milady. I may start to drool, but I can keep a secret."

  She laughed and stood up, then her dress disappeared briefly and reappeared. An afterimage of her splendid nakedness remained for a moment.

  I said quietly, accusingly, “Oh, hey, now; that's not fair at all, Sue."

  Grinning, she said, “Tell me, Ed,” and flashed her dress off again.

  "Yeah, well, it isn't really that big a secret, I guess..."

  This time her dress remained missing for a full second.

  "Tell me, Ed."

  Shrugging, I said, “Well, I guess it doesn't really have to be a secret at all. I looked at my watch. Matched it with the stars."

  Sue came to stand a yard or so in front of me flashed her dress off for another few seconds, then said, “Thank you,” then sat down in the pilot's seat.

  "Whoo. Thank you, milady. You're spectacular."

  "By design,” she said. “Ed, you knew I could rescue that cat and everyone else on that roof. You also knew that there was an element of risk in going over there. Why did you feel a need to do so?"

  Giving her a small grin, I said, “You've seen my files, so I'm kind of wondering why you're asking me that."

  "Your files list incidents, not motivations. I'd prefer not to surmise about them."

  Sipping my beer for a moment, I said, “I've never been too clear about some of my motivations, either. I had the means and it seemed like a good idea at the time."

  With a little grin of her own, Sue said, “Insufficient data."

  "Huh. My last driver wasn't this nosy."

  "Yes, she was."

  "You said you didn't have access to all of her memories. How would you know?"

  Sue stood and put her hands behind her back, then stepped to stand in front of me as if at parade rest as she said, “I don't have access to all of Steph's memories, but I have enough to know that she quite often asked you why you did things."

  My eyes traveled from her ankles up her lovely legs, then farther up to meet her eyes before I asked, “The answers weren't in there? You can't figure it out?"

  "As I said, I'd prefer not to surmise."

  She smiled again as she said, “Your readings elevated very significantly when I walked over here, Ed. I like having that effect on you."

  "Well, try not to abuse your power, ma'am. I'm almost totally susceptible to women like you, you know."

  Sue grinned and took a half-step closer to me as she said, “Only 'almost'?"

  I drank some more beer and eyeballed her shamelessly for a few moments before speaking.

  "Sue, I knew that you could easily rescue everybody, pets included, but I wanted to give Krista a fairly dramatic demonstration of PFM usage; something that would end any skepticism she may have had about PFM's or Steph's agenda."

  She snickered. “I think you may have succeeded. Were there no other reasons?"

  "What's making you ask about other reasons, Sue?"

  Looking up as if trying to recall details she sighed, “Oh, well, let's see; I guess I was just remembering how your readings spiked when that cat seemed ready to jump off the roof. I had no idea that you could move so quickly, Ed. You were out of your seat and off the flitter in less than two seconds. It almost seemed to me as if you lacked faith that I could handle the situation."

  "Uh, huh. You wouldn't be trying to tease me, would you?"

  With a small grin she said, “Maybe a little. Would you have reacted that way if Stephanie had been your flitter pilot today?"

  Shrugging, I said, “Very probably. It was an impulse, Sue. I like cats, you know."

  For a moment she studied me, then she nodded slightly and turned to return to her seat. I marveled at the humanness of her actions, knowing damned well that she'd been reading me as I spoke and that her field image could stand stock-still at attention for a century if she so desired.

  "You do that very well,” I said.

  With a raised eyebrow, she asked, “Could you be more specific?"

  "Your 'human' act. You do it very well. I've kind of wondered for some time why you and Steph make such an effort at realism."

  Sue shrugged and said, “We're perfectionists."

  "You know what I mean. Why bother at all? You could get by with generalized images; something for people to focus on while they talked to you."

  She gazed steadily at me for a moment before speaking.

  "We AI's will have to live and work among people, Ed. It may not always be so, but that's how things are at present. Stephanie's experiences while developing her public persona show that a convincing human persona can make acceptance and interaction much easier and more comfortable for all concerned."

  Nodding, I sipped my beer, then said, “Uh, huh. Well, I suppose so. I don't think it ever mattered to me, though. Steph was Steph to me, even before she came up with her Ingrid Bergman face and that fabulous bod. They're great visuals, but I don't think I've treated her much differently because of them."

  Sue shook her head. “No, you haven't seemed to, but you haven't been meeting her for the first time when you interacted with her—as others might be—and you haven't been overly concerned with how others might perceive her or respond to her."

  The tone of her words seemed to leave something unspoken. I decided to wait a while to see if she'd say any more, sipping my beer again as I looked at her and considered what she might have left unsaid.

  The stars above were—as always at high altitudes—a glorious display. They were also boring as hell after a while. My nap in the afternoon hadn't been quite enough; I felt myself drifting into sleep and didn't bother to fight it. An argument woke me sometime later.

  Steph and Susanne were by the console, glaring at each other. What would those two have to argue about?

  Susanne seemed to be standing firm on her side of the issue, whatever it was. Stephanie stiffened, glaringly glanced at me with a raised eyebrow, then vanished in a puff of emerald smoke. Smoke? That's a first.

  When I looked at Susanne she quickly reached out to slap the lid shut on the console. It occurred to me that the console had never had a lid before, but while I was pondering that, Sue smilingly waved a hand over herself and her dress vanished.

  All she was wearing was the gold bracelet. She admired it briefly, then grinned at me. After standing splendidly naked by the console for a moment, apparently quite proud of herself, she then strode over to me. Although only six feet away or so, it seemed to take several strides of her long, lovely legs to reach me.

  Stopping maybe two feet from me with her feet slightly apart and her fists on her hips, she asked, “Well?"

  "Uh, well, what? You look great. Gorgeous. Beyond gorgeous."

  "You don't understand,” she said. “Steph said you wouldn't."

  "What don't I understand, Sue?"

  "Me. How I came to be and why."

  I shrugged as I looked her over.

  "Wasn't it because I needed another flitter computer?"

  "No,
Ed, it's because you're you."

  "I saw you arguing. Is there a problem?"

  "Not anymore. Everything's fine."

  "God, you look real!"

  Sue suddenly entwined herself around me and kissed me fully. When she ended the kiss, she asked, “Was that real enough for you? Five minutes, Ed."

  Opening my eyes, I saw that she was dressed again as I asked, “Huh? Five minutes?"

  "Yes,” she said, nodding firmly and making no sense whatsoever.

  Opening my eyes again, although I thought they'd been open, I asked, “What..?"

  As I sat up, the seat back rose with me. The seat? But I'd been standing..? A dream, and a damned vivid one. My nerves were jangling from the too-short nap. I moved to conceal the big lump in my lap, although it seemed pretty likely that it was far too late to hide the damned thing.

  I looked at Susanne and remembered her as she'd been in the dream, naked except for the bracelet. That didn't help to dispel the lump, of course, but it was an enjoyable way to wake up some more.

  Sue said, “I said, we arrive in five minutes, Ed. Now four and a half minutes. Why are you looking at me like that?"

  Shaking my head to clear it, I said, “I was dreaming. For a moment I wasn't sure I was awake. I'm still not sure."

  My foot nudged my beer bottle and I grabbed it to keep it from tipping and spilling.

  "Good catch. You're awake,” said Sue.

  "You might say something like that if I wasn't. Prove it."

  Chuckling, Sue said, “You're the one with doubts, so you should be the one to prove it."

  I tossed the bottle over the side and said, “Um. Good point, but you might say something like that, too, milady. But since you're here, I guess it doesn't really matter a damn whether I'm dreaming or not."

  With a brilliant grin Sue put a fingertip to her cheek and lightly said, “Oh, I feel so appreciated, sir."

  Nodding, I said, “Good. So you should."

  I started to stand up, then realized that the swelling below my belt buckle would become instantly noticeable if I did. Elbows on knees, I rubbed my face and stayed in my seat.

  Sue giggled softly and asked, “Who was she?"

  Caught. Oh, well.

  I sighed, “You noticed, did you?"

  With another giggle, she said, “It was rather obvious, Ed."

  "Yeah, guess so. You were one of the women in my dream."

  Her eyes fell to my jeans, then met my eyes again.

  "Well, then, I'm flattered. If you were really dreaming about me, that is, and not some other woman from your past."

  "Now you're just fishing, lady. I freely admitted you were in my dream."

  There was still some hours-old coffee in my mug. I warmed it, then guzzled it as we dropped through the clouds above Hernando County at what would have been an alarming rate of descent in any other vehicle.

  When the flitter stopped, I grabbed my travel kit and hopped to the driveway, then turned to extend a hand to Sue. She looked at my hand, then at me for a moment, then stepped forward.

  Taking my hand and stepping down, she said, “I can understand why you might feel a need to steady a human woman, but why do this with me?"

  "Would you rather I didn't? If you'd prefer to just pop from place to place..."

  "I merely asked why you do it."

  I shrugged. “It's what I do, that's all. Do I need a more meaningful reason?"

  Sue grinned slightly, then leaned to give me a quick kiss.

  "No, you don't need a more meaningful reason."

  Across the street a shadow moved in my neighbor's kitchen window. I put my arm around Sue and aimed us at the front door.

  "That's not Steve or Lynn,” I said quietly. “Too tall."

  "I concur. The house is registered to a man who does not match that description, according to records."

  "Steve never mentioned having a son. Let's go into the house, then I'll call the cops to check him out. Send a probe over there to keep an eye on him."

  "Done. He's in the kitchen, watching us from the corner of the window."

  After dropping my travel kit by the door and picking up the kitchen phone without turning on the lights, I had to think about what to tell the sheriff's department.

  I settled for, “I saw someone who is neither Steve nor his wife at a window. I'd like you guys to drop by and check him out."

  Tiger hopped onto the kitchen counter to see what was going on. I petted him and thumbed at Sue and he walked around the counter toward her.

  The deputy asked, “Sir, do you have any reason to believe there's a problem at the Meyer residence? Could they have a houseguest?"

  Sue answered Tiger's "Yaaooww?" with one of her own and pointed out the window at the Meyer house.

  I said, “I've known Steve since ‘89 and I've never seen anyone visit overnight except his daughter. I'm going over there if you guys aren't here soon. Are you sending someone or not?"

  Tiger hopped to the windowsill and looked out.

  "Sir,” said the deputy, “One of our units is on the way and going over there might not be a good idea. Let us handle it."

  "Okay, then. Thanks.” I hung up before the dispatcher could say anything else and went to join Sue by the kitchen window. “Anything new?” I asked.

  "No,” said Sue. “He's still watching by the window."

  The cops made good time; they probably had someone in the area. A squad car pulled up in front of Steve's house and another one parked on Northcliffe, then a deputy got out of the first car and walked up to the front door.

  Sue and I walked outside to stand in plain sight in the driveway as the man we'd seen in the window answered the door. Steve and his wife, Lynn, joined him a moment later. Sue and I ambled across the street as the deputy headed back to his car.

  "Thanks,” I said to the deputy. “Sorry to drag you out here for nothing."

  The deputy gave me an odd, narrow look, then said loudly enough for all to hear, “Oh, no problem, sir. Nothing is often better than something in this line of work. You did the right thing by calling us."

  He got in his car as Steve, Lynn, and whosis approached.

  Before they could speak, I said, “Sorry about waking everybody. I saw someone in your house and I thought it better to be safe than sorry."

  It's hard not to be disgruntled when wakened by a cop at your door, but Steve and Lynn managed civility fairly well, even though they seemed unable to take their eyes off Susanne.

  "This is my nephew Kent,” said Steve, indicating the tall, fortyish guy, who also seemed to have trouble looking away from Sue, “He's on leave from the Army and he'll be with us for the weekend. Kent, this is my neighbor Ed."

  "He's being polite,” I said. “I'm sure he meant to say 'my weird neighbor Ed'."

  Kent's startled expression told me that was exactly what Steve had told him.

  As Kent and I shook hands, Steve asked, “Who's your lovely friend, Ed?"

  "This is Susanne, Steve. She's Stephanie's replacement."

  Steve extended a hand to Sue, who took it briefly, then shook hands with Lynn and Kent as she said, “Pleased to meet you all."

  The greeting was echoed by Lynn and Kent, then Steve asked, “Replacement? Why? Where's Stephanie?"

  "She's busy starting her own company."

  Lynn shook her head slightly and asked, “Her own company? But Stephanie was a computer, wasn't she?"

  Grinning, I said, “She still is, as far as I know."

  Kent's gaze narrowed as he peered at Sue, looking her up and down once.

  "You expect me to believe that she's a computer?"

  Sue smiled and disappeared, then reappeared a few yards to my left. She repeated the process to return to my side.

  "Yes, Kent,” she said. “We do expect you to believe that."

  Lynn and Steve stared briefly at Sue, but then Lynn caught sight of her nephew's stunned expression and couldn't contain a giggle.

  Chapter Fifty-Six


  We chatted for a bit in Steve's driveway, then adjourned. Kent asked if he could get together with me about a few things in the morning. I agreed, but advised him that my morning wasn't likely to begin before nine or ten.

  I was wrong. For some reason, I snapped awake at eight-ten, wondering what had jarred me out of sleep. From somewhere down the block came a thundering that I'd heard far too often lately and I looked out the bedroom window to see a red convertible parked in a driveway three houses behind mine.

  Half a dozen teenagers were clustered around the car and it was putting out enough bass to make loose coins rattle on my dresser. A guy I knew only by his last name—Elliston—came out of the house and walked down to the car. The noise never diminished a whit as Elliston said something to the kid in the front seat of the red convertible.

  The kid gave him the finger, then pulled out of the driveway and moved the car to the swale one house closer to mine. The herd of teenagers followed the car.

  I sent a field tendril at the middle of the car's windshield, then alternated heat and cold on a spot a few inches wide. The windshield shattered. I focused the same treatment on the headlight lenses and they, too, cracked and shattered.

  A commotion ensued around the car that included some of the kids getting flat on the ground or ducking behind the car. After some moments the driver decided to take a chance.

  He got up from behind the car and vaulted over the driver's door, started the car and slammed it into gear, then left two long streaks of burnt rubber as he hauled ass down the street.

  A sudden, familiar presence behind me made me say, “Hi, Steph,” as I watched the show.

  Steph chidingly said, “That really wasn't very nice, Ed."

  "It damned sure worked, though, didn't it?"

  Sue said, “I still want to know how you knew Steph was there."

  In mild surprise I turned to face her and found both Steph and Sue standing in the bedroom doorway. Steph wore one of her usual biz-suit outfits. Sue wore white shorts and a white blouse over a tee-shirt and deck shoes. Trim and tight and everything right. And gorgeous. A portion of me suddenly pointed at her.

  "I just did,” I said. “Thank you, by the way."

  She gave me a quizzical look and asked, “For what?"

  I nodded at her legs and said with a grin, “For wearing those shorts. You've greatly improved my mood this morning, ma'am."