The Light Between The Shadows

by Tsukiko Spark

  I’m sure she doesn’t need so much room. The thought crossed his mind. Perhaps he would buy the studio from her when he returned.

  With the flick of a switch, Shira turned on the lights in the vast, well-groomed garden seen through the large, impressive glass wall. “You should see it in the morning—the sun washes the entire place with so much light!” she said enthusiastically. “I wanted us to eat outside, but it’s too cold still.” She switched off the light in the garden, and the glass wall turned black as night.

  They continued into the studio’s bathroom, which looked and smelled like a boutique spa, just waiting for the first guest to enter and be pampered. Its walls and flooring had a brown and white color scheme, which went well with the white towels stacked meticulously on top of each other. Smaller, tightly rolled towels were placed next to the sink, awaiting their guests’ hands. Ben appreciated cleanliness and aesthetics, which he’d had throughout his life. But he was tired and stayed silent.

  “Let’s return to the living room,” she said.

  He didn’t make an effort to impress Shira. He preferred to be elsewhere, but he had promised not to let down his friend and to finish the project as his father ordered. They walked through the wooden doors once more, which were so massive that even Ben found it hard to open them.

  “Shall we drink and have a bite first before we get to work?” she suggested.

  He nodded.

  “Come sit down on the couch; relax. I’ll fix us something to drink. Have you eaten today?” she called from the kitchen.

  “Not since lunchtime,” he answered and sat down on the couch.

  She went on with her business in the kitchen as he watched her from a distance. He tried to figure out what Fred, George, and his father all saw in her—why did everyone like her? And if she was so smart, then why was she interested in him? It was obvious that they belonged in such different worlds.

  A furry cat that looked like a gray Siamese with white paws suddenly jumped up and sat down in Ben’s lap. He tried to get it off by pushing it down on the floor, but it returned to his lap. Its fur was fluffy and soft as silk, and he found himself stroking the stubborn animal and enjoying it.

  Shira returned with two wine glasses. “I see you’ve met Panda,” she said. “He’s my lover boy.” She placed Ben’s wine glass on the table and picked up Panda from his lap.

  “It took you a long time to pour a glass of wine,” he said.

  “Yes, I spilled a little.” She was nervous.

  He noticed the stain on her dress. “Only you can be so clumsy,” he said, picking up the wine glass from the table and sipping from it. “Yum…exquisite. A 1985 cabernet sauvignon.”

  “Yes… You’re right.”

  He stared at her. She seemed nervous and found it hard to conceal it. He was used to women feeling nervous in his presence, but he thought she had gotten used to him after working together for a whole month.

  He sipped more wine and continued to study her. “Is everything all right?” he asked.

  “Yes, why do you ask?” She sipped from her wine glass.

  “Well, you seem like something is bothering you.” He continued to stare at her.

  “I’m fine. Let’s finish our drinks, eat something, and then get down to business.”

  Ben downed the last of his wine in one gulp.

  Shira smiled oddly, in a way that seemed to him inconsistent with how she had behaved up until now, but he ignored it.

  “I have a question for you,” she said.

  “Please, ask me anything you like,” he said haughtily.

  “Are you aware of the fact that people don’t like you?” She confronted him out of the blue.

  “Excuse me?”

  “I mean, ‘don’t like you’ as in ‘don’t want to work with you or for you.’ No one is really your friend, and God knows why Fred is the only one who is,” she continued, calmly and in control. The conversation was getting a little heavy for him, and it didn’t seem like it was going to end anytime soon.

  “Those who call themselves your friends are only laughing at you or looking to gain some of your wealth.”

  He was right; she was only just starting. “It was a mistake to come here,” he said, and got up heavily. His head and body were weighing him down.

  “Sit back down. We’re just talking. I don’t bite.”

  He returned to a sitting position, forcing a smile. He felt like he couldn’t move far from the couch even if he wanted to. He hadn’t gotten enough sleep, and he didn’t want to show her just how heavy and exhausted he really felt.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I have many close friends and friends who are employees.” He answered her question dryly.

  “That’s what you’ve been telling yourself. And the story with Don—I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes. Where the hell did you send him off to for two weeks? And who gave you the right to rule over people’s lives like that?” She let him have it. “What’s going on in that head of yours that you can’t see even a glimpse of the wrong you’re doing?”

  “Enough of this nonsense! You wanted me to come over, didn’t you? Are you only after my wealth?” he wondered deliriously.

  “I wanted you to come for a different reason altogether.” She grabbed the wine glass from his hand before it dropped to the floor.

  “What…do…you…mean?” he managed to utter before he fell asleep.

  BACK TO THE PRESENT

  DAY 1

  Ben stayed in the same position, chained to the wall and blindfolded, not knowing where he was. He became more and more anxious due to the silence that surrounded him.

  Suddenly, the sound of footsteps drew his attention back from his worries. The footsteps advanced toward him. His heart skipped a beat.

  “Good morning, Ben.” He heard Shira’s voice, bright and cheerful as ever. “How did you sleep?” she asked casually, as if they had met in a café.

  She sat down in front of him.

  “Uh…okay, okay.” Ben tried to sit up and regulate his heartbeat. He calmed down and realized he was in Shira’s studio, and that the present situation may have been the outcome of a wild, intimate night that had escaped his memory.

  “Good, I’m glad. It’s important to me that my guests feel nice and comfortable.” She took a deep breath and exhaled, delighted. “It’s getting warm. Spring is in the air. It’s always exciting.”

  “Yes. Yes,” he said, without really taking an interest.

  “What a day it was yesterday. Hey…it feels so refreshing now; the start of a new journey. Can you feel it? Can you smell it?”

  “Yes, very nice.” He recalled the previous morning and the course of the day, but not the night. He moved in discomfort. A strange sensation overcame him, but he tried to ignore it.

  “How do you feel? Any weakness? Are you strong enough to get up?”

  “Just fine.” Ben did his best to seem as if he were in control of the situation.

  “You’ll probably be pleased to hear that I sat the entire morning and finished our work,” Shira said cheerfully, ignoring his condition.

  “Ah, yes.” He had managed to forget all about work. There were other things on his mind that morning.

  “Yes, and I also emailed everything to George. Everything is squared away in this area, and now we can open a new chapter,” she summed up.

  “Aha,” he responded impartially.

  A silent moment went by. He waited for her to release him, but she didn’t.

  “Well, it’s been very nice,” he lied, “and now I really must be going. I have errands to run and a flight to catch.” Ben smiled his dimpled smile, which was nonetheless fake. He waited a few moments longer to see if she got the message. “Can you…?” He tried to indicate with his body language that he wanted her to release hi
m and help him get up.

  She didn’t seem to understand.

  “Okay, can you please release me?”

  “Aww, honey, I’m not going to do that.”

  “Uh…Shira, you’re very sweet…but I have a flight to catch,” he continued in his fake saccharine tone.

  “I’m sorry, but you’re not getting on a flight today either,” she said, adding, “In fact, you’re giving up the trip altogether.”

  “Now you listen to me! I have to go! Release me at once!” He lost his cool for a moment, then added, “Please.” He tried to keep calm.

  “Ben,” she began peacefully. “It’s time for a change.”

  “What? Hello? Are we having the same conversation?” He was no longer trying to be nice.

  “Please understand—you can’t keep acting the way you do.”

  “Okay, let me go now or…or…I’ll fire you!” He lost his patience.

  Shira sighed. “I finished my job, remember? Though I never really worked for you.”

  “What?” Ben was starting to feel dizzy again.

  “My work is funded by another source, but that’s not important right now.” She tried to get back on the subject they had started with. “All right. I’ll just state it clearly. You’re staying here, under my care, to start a new learning experience today, and you’re not going anywhere for the next few months.” She delivered this statement and waited for a response.

  He took a deep breath, trying to control all the thoughts that ran through his head at that moment, but nothing seemed logical. “Okay, okay, you got me. Who’s there? Fred? George? Great joke!” He laughed his fake laugh.

  “There’s no one here.”

  “All right,” he said, as if waiting for the prank to be over.

  “It’s not a joke. I said some profound things that now you need to think over.”

  “Fine, I got it. I got the joke. When do I get to the part where you pat me on the shoulder and let me go? The plane is not going to wait for me forever, you know,” Ben said to someone imaginary, who he thought was standing behind Shira.

  But she went on, “I’m going away for a few hours.” She got up quietly. “I’m setting an alarm for you.” The sound of a metallic spring being wound up was heard. “It will ring when your plane takes off. I’ll be back later, and we can stop joking and start talking seriously instead.”

  He stopped laughing. “What? No! Wait!” he roared as the sound of her footsteps moved away. Ben waited a few moments longer in the hope that this prank would be over, but the damned silence took over again.

  He wriggled in place and tried to muster all of his rage to free himself, but to no avail. The straps were solid and tight around him.

  Ben lost all sense of time—he didn’t know what time it was or how much longer before his flight took off. He still hoped it was some silly joke and that he would manage to board the plane. But time crept by slowly, and the more he waited, the more anxious he got. The nerve-wracking anticipation seemed eternal to him, when the alarm clock finally went off.

  His hopes of catching the plane that day and going on vacation drowned in the echoing sound of the alarm. He thrashed about, angry and frustrated, held back by the straps. Then, exhausted, he tried to calm down, breathe deeply, and gather his thoughts. Ben considered the starting point of all this. He wasn’t afraid of Shira. She’s a chick. He tried to cheer himself up. As crazy as she might be, there was no woman he couldn’t manipulate to eventually do as he pleased. All he had to do was harness his anger so he could think clearly and come up with a proper plan. As soon as she got back, he would set himself free using his persuasive ability and his irresistible smile.

  Time seemed to crawl by ever so slowly.

  The sound of Shira’s footsteps came closer until she stopped right in front of him. “Can I have a serious conversation with you now?”

  “I’m listening.” Ben pretended to cooperate with her.

  “Great!” she said, impressed by his degree of attentiveness, as she sat down in front of him. “I want to open by repeating that you are now under my care. I’m a member of an organization whose objective is to allow people like you to undergo a positive and necessary personal change in order to promote a better society. We’ve been doing it for a few years now, and we have vast experience in these sorts of procedures.”

  “Okay, go on,” he said, keeping up the same tactic. He was attentive to her tone of voice and to every detail, hoping to glean any pertinent information that would lead to his release.

  “I’ll start with the most important thing—the goal of this whole journey.”

  “Uh-huh,” he uttered indifferently.

  “The goal of this process, Ben, is to change your behavior, your intolerable behavior that has been going on for some time. It is arrogant and conceited; it is destructive and humiliating to the people around you.” She stopped again.

  “Uh-huh,” he uttered again in the same tone.

  “It doesn’t mean changing your personality. On the contrary, it actually means getting to know yourself better and understanding the reason for your negative behavior. This way you can choose a different behavior that will benefit you and your environment.”

  Ben didn’t agree with anything that she had said. He didn’t think his behavior was improper or hurtful. He decided to continue listening to her. “Okay.”

  “Okay…great!” Shira was happy to have encountered no resistance so far. She knew the next outburst was imminent. She tried to hurry up and finish her speech before he lost it altogether, but she also tried to phrase it in a way that softened the blow.

  “Now I’ll explain about the process.” She took a deep breath. “In the following months—it usually takes about two months—your eyes will be covered.”

  “Okay.” Ben continued “listening,” though he felt anxiety setting in.

  “Also, your hands will be tied to ensure your eyes stay covered throughout the entire treatment. The goal is to stop looking outward and begin to look inward into your soul and get to know the inner Ben.”

  He kept silent and pretended to listen, but it became harder and harder with each moment.

  “Your legs may also be chained temporarily to make it easier on me. You will be forbidden to speak from the moment we begin, and that is, again, to support our goal of introspection. If you make any sound, I will have to gag you.”

  By now he had stopped listening; he was stunned.

  “If you try to escape, you will receive a punishment at my discretion. Any violent attempt will not be tolerated and will lead to more severe discipline—again, at my discretion.”

  He was dumbstruck.

  “Now that I’ve explained all the basic rules, I’ll add a few important details.” She was trying to wrap it up before he buckled and stopped listening to her.

  “I was a registered nurse at a hospital for four years. I’m going to tend to you and wash you like I did with many disabled patients at my previous job.”

  “But I’m not disabled! You’re trying to turn me into a disabled person!” Ben broke into uncontrollable rage.

  “True, you’re not really disabled,” Shira said, trying to calm him down. “And you will receive healthy, homemade food that I will cook regularly, so the only hardship here is this temporary disability. If you follow the rules, you’ll have no further discomfort.”

  He couldn’t listen to her any longer or take in any more information. “Release me at once, you crazy woman!” He went wild, puffing his chest as if to threaten her. “I refuse any treatment! And I will not obey any of your insane rules!”

  “Fine. If that’s your approach, I shall go now,” she said assertively.

  “Go, you lunatic! Go find your missing screw! You’re seriously demented!”

  “I’ll be back in two hours,” she said, and got up to leave. She managed to
hear a juicy swearword involving her mother before the studio doors closed behind her.

  Ben was furious and frustrated, unable to fathom the absurdity of the situation. Was she serious? Was she nuts? Was this really happening to him? There was no way he was going to undergo the hell Shira called “treatment.” The ridiculous situation needed to end immediately.

  He continued to wriggle and pull against the straps, but they were designed to withstand great force and his meager struggle didn’t even come close to that. Finally, he gave in. His body was exhausted, but his thoughts kept racing through his head ceaselessly. He felt time going by as if he were inside a nightmare.

  “Ben, are you calmer now?” Shira asked softly upon returning to the studio.

  He was so lost in thought that he hadn’t heard her walk in. He didn’t answer.

  “Would you like to drink something?” she continued. “You can ask me questions and talk to me if you’re calmer.”

  “Okay, okay, fine, I got it.” He shook his head as if wondering how he hadn’t realized it before. “How much are they paying you? I’ll pay you double if you let me go.”

  “I can’t do that,” she said calmly.

  “Then three times more, four times more—how much do you want? You name it, I’ll pay it,” he said confidently, knowing that money could buy anything.

  “I’m sorry. It doesn’t work like that.”

  Ben wasn’t ready to give up. He was planning to try a few more persuasion tactics he had learned in his life—something had to work.

  “I would like to speak to your supervisor.”

  “I’m the supervisor.”

  “Yes, but in every organization, there’s someone above you.”

  “True, but every caretaker is solely responsible for his or her patient.”

  How many caretakers are there in this horrible group? he thought. “I don’t care; let me speak to that person.”

  “I’m afraid it’s impossible.”

  “I insist on it.”

  “As the patient, you cannot insist on anything.”