The Light Between The Shadows

by Tsukiko Spark

  He nodded. As it was, he was too weak to launch another protest and felt that Shira had the upper hand this time. He stopped moving his legs, and she cuffed them once more.

  “Now I’m going to tend to your face and replace the bandages on your eyes. Would you like that?”

  He nodded. The blindfold and the bandages over his eyes were soaked with water after the shower.

  “I need your cooperation here, too.”

  He nodded again.

  The bathroom was quiet and the air was steamy. The sound of his heavy breathing filled the room.

  “Okay, open your mouth and I’ll brush your teeth.”

  He opened his mouth slowly. She brushed his teeth thoroughly and finished by having him rinse with mouthwash. Then she filled her palms with shaving cream and covered his face expertly. Shira shaved him slowly and with great care. Ben didn’t move. She sprinkled aftershave on her palms, rubbed them, and patted his face, which was smooth and warm from fatigue.

  She turned on the bright light and shined it in his face, then removed the wet blindfold and bandages. He squinted and shut his eyes tight due to the blinding light. She cleaned the area, rubbed some cream on, and finally applied new bandages to his eyes. She examined him and was pleased with the outcome of her thorough grooming.

  “Let’s go eat,” Shira said with a sense of accomplishment. She covered his eyes with a dry blindfold. She hooked up the loose chain to his collar and released it from the one connected to the floor.

  Shira led him to the dining table inside the studio. There she connected the collar to another chain that was fastened with a lock to a metal loop on the floor near the table. “Wait for me here until the food is ready.”

  He was so tired he had trouble keeping his head up.

  She quickly prepared a small dish for him before he fell asleep on the table. She returned with two slices of fresh rye bread covered with homemade strawberry jam she made herself and a cup of freshly squeezed orange juice.

  She managed to feed him one slice of bread and give him a few sips of juice. It seemed like he was no longer able to hold himself upright; his body leaned and his head slowly dropped toward the table.

  Wow, he’s fast asleep, she thought. She released the collar from the metal chain and slowly moved him off the chair. Shira helped him to the mattress in the corner of the studio, where she gently lay him down. She then attached his collar to a chain affixed to the floor. Finally, she picked up a cozy, warm blanket and covered him with it.

  Shira was so looking forward to him beginning the treatment, but Ben was asleep. Despite the early evening hour, she also felt fatigued as if it were contagious. After a nice shower, she retired to her bed in the studio.

  DAY 3

  Ben woke up early the next morning. This time, he felt rejuvenated, snuggled in a soft, warm, and fragrant blanket, having had a good night’s sleep. His strength was restored, and he felt good for a moment, but the damned collar on his neck reminded him of where he was. Every movement of his made the chain clang and clatter; he despised it. He grabbed part of the chain behind his back and felt along it until he touched the end, attached to the floor by the lock. He couldn’t reach his neck to open the clasp, nor could he open the lock anchored to the floor. He felt humiliated. He was like a dog chained on a short leash—he couldn’t even stand.

  The anger burning in him turned into loathing. Hatred. He hated the situation he was forced into, and he hated Shira. Genuine, full-on hatred. After what she had put him through in the past two days, she was a symbol of all that was evil in the world. He had always known that women were evil; therefore, he was always on guard and didn’t let them get too close, enter his heart and touch his soul.

  “Good morning, Ben” Shira said in blissful sleepiness, having woken up to the sound of the chain.

  He wanted to say something to upset her, but he opted not to. He was very hungry, and he didn’t want the gag to prevent him from eating now.

  She stretched and yawned loudly, popping her joints as she did so.

  “Ah!” She exhaled cheerfully. “I slept really well last night; how about you? Did you sleep well?”

  He nodded, so as to hurry the conversation and get on with breakfast.

  “Very good! You must be hungry.”

  He nodded vigorously.

  “I’ll make us some breakfast.” She jumped out of bed. “But don’t fall asleep on me this time.” She laughed.

  He didn’t find the situation amusing at all. She had forced him into this absurd situation and then laughed about it. Moron! he thought. She was a moron who was holding him against his will. The anger boiled in him.

  Shira prepared a lavish breakfast: poached egg on whole wheat bread in cream and spinach sauce, freshly baked brioche rolls, orange juice, fresh salad, and homemade orange preserves she made a week earlier.

  She approached Ben holding a chain and hooked it to the collar on his neck, then detached the one that was hooked next to the mattress. She took him to the bathroom to freshen up, and then led him to the table. He waddled carefully, with legs cuffed, everywhere she led him. When he sat down at the table, she made sure his collar was attached securely to the floor.

  The table was all set.

  “Here, drink.” She passed him a glass with a straw. “It’s freshly squeezed orange juice.”

  Ben sipped eagerly and finished it quickly.

  Shira was only halfway through her juice.

  “Now try the egg with the bread and the sauce.” She cut a piece with a knife and fork and lifted the fork to his mouth. Some of the yolk dripped and landed on his chest.

  He got upset. Shira pulled out a wipe and cleaned him, but she somehow managed to spread the sticky yellow goo even more.

  “Wait.” She noticed his impatience. She pulled out two more wipes and managed to clean his chest. The coolness of the wipes made him quiver.

  “Sorry, let’s try again,” she said. She lifted the dripping fork with one hand and held a small plate under it. The sauce dripped on the dish and caused no trouble this time.

  Ben chewed quickly. He swallowed the first piece before Shira even managed to cut the second. She continued cutting a few pieces and served them. She let him eat first, since she knew how hungry he was. The food was tasty and provided him with momentary comfort.

  “That’s it; now I’ll have a bite,” she said after she fed him an entire slice. He was displeased and exhaled irritably. Shira ignored him and enjoyed her meal. When she finished eating, she went on feeding him at a calm and steady pace until he was satisfied. She offered him more salad and drink, but he shook his head.

  Shira kept munching on the fresh salad. “You must wonder why there are so many chains in the studio and why I insist on you being tied to one at all times.”

  Ben didn’t care. He was irritated, and this conversation only made him more so.

  “Look, it’s all based on experience. See, if you know the studio well and you’re not tied to something at any given time, you may try to escape even if your hands and legs are cuffed. Right?”

  He didn’t respond.

  “Oh, I see we’re back to square one, eh? You were fed, freshened up, and slept well, so now you don’t need anything, eh?”

  He stayed silent.

  She continued to pick at the salad, eating the seasoned tomato bits from the bowl. “You know, this is very intricate work. A lot of thought went into designing the straps around your body…as with this treatment and all of its rules.”

  Ben pretended not to listen.

  “The hand straps were tailored to your size,” she explained.

  He couldn’t understand how she got hold of such information.

  “They were designed this way to be comfortable for a long period of time without twisting your arms behind your back. You might have felt this, but the belt is connected t
o the legs with straps that prevent your hands from moving forward or the belt moving around your waist.”

  He was getting fed up with this conversation.

  “I might add that there is no lock on your body. If I wish to release the hand straps from the belt, all I have to do is press with two fingers on the spring clasp and they’re free. Naturally, you cannot reach this clasp when you’re tied.”

  He was losing it—this notion only intensified his sense of helplessness. The difference between being free and being tied and having to suffer was a matter of two free fingers.

  “Aside from the leg cuffs,” she went on, “which are standard cuffs. But they’re temporary and will be removed soon…I hope. I see you have little interest in this, but the nice thing about it is that they allow me the freedom to treat you easily, knowing there’s no way you can escape or break free.”

  Shira continued to munch on the leftovers from breakfast. She offered him some, but he only got annoyed by her gesture.

  “If everything goes well today, I believe we’ll begin our regular routine tomorrow,” she announced. “I think we’ll just go with the flow today.”

  He didn’t respond.

  “Okay, we’re done. I’ll take you back to your corner near the mattress.” She led Ben to the mattress and sat him down, making sure his chain was securely connected to the floor. “I hooked you to a very long chain this time in case you feel like walking around the studio,” she explained.

  No response.

  White noise came from the direction of the garden.

  “Ah, it started raining. Too bad. I was hoping for some spring sun.”

  Every word she uttered annoyed him. She was intolerable in every sense of the word; Ben loathed every detail about her and her personality.

  He wanted to shout with all his might, “Shut up already!”

  “Ah, rain, how sad, aww, aww, aww.” He imitated her quietly. “I’m Shira, and I’m oh so happy in this world, na, na, na, na, na,” he went on, twisting his mouth in ridicule.

  It turned out his voice was not low enough.

  Before he managed another imitation of her, a foreign object was shoved into his mouth, and he felt it tighten by a band around the back of his neck. Another band was tightened a moment later. He was startled by this hideous surprise. He felt a padded stick in his mouth that was covered with something that resembled leather. Its edges were thinner next to his teeth and thicker at the center of the mouth. The gag prevented him from closing his mouth or speaking. It was bitter, and he couldn’t stand this alien object in his mouth for even a second.

  “Take it out immediately,” he wanted to say, but his mouth made a series of unclear noises: “Ah…mmm!”

  “You will remain gagged for two hours. If you continue to make noise, I will make it longer.”

  He continued to shout in a drowned-out voice, “Ah! Mmm!” and fidgeted.

  “It’s three hours now.” But her words didn’t quiet him. Ben was on a rampage.

  “Four hours. Five hours…six hours…seven…” she continued as he kept shouting.

  Finally, Shira stopped counting and said, “Okay, Ben, I’m leaving. I guess the gag will stay in until tomorrow. I hope you’ll be calm when I return.”

  Ben went wild and yelled in his muffled voice, trying to remove the gag from his mouth, first with his shoulders and then with his knees. Even the mattress or the floor couldn’t help him. She was gone.

  When Shira came back a few hours later, she found him lying on the mattress, sweaty, trying to calm himself and regulate his heartbeat. She went over to him and patted his head as if to console him.

  “Mmm!” Ben moved his head away violently.

  “Fine, I won’t touch your head.” She moved away. “But the fact that you are gagged until tomorrow doesn’t mean you’re allowed to try and talk. According to my calculation, I’ll remove it at eight in the morning, but if you make more noises, I will add hours.”

  “Mmm!” he uttered loudly.

  “Fine, I’ll remove it at nine in the morning.”

  “Mmm! Mmm!”

  “At ten…eleven…”

  He caved. She didn’t get upset by his gestures, and he was the one left exhausted with a gag in his mouth. Though it wasn’t particularly large, by that point he felt like something huge was stuck in his mouth.

  “All right, we don’t really have anything to do now.” She thought out loud. “I’ll help you relieve yourself in the afternoon and in the evening. We will get you showered, and then you can go to sleep. I’m going to work on my computer. You can only eat tomorrow at lunch after I remove the gag.”

  Ben remained on the mattress, shocked by what he had come to. Only a few days earlier, he thought he was about to take off on his dream vacation. Instead, he found himself in the extreme opposite situation, held in some crazy woman’s house in a remote suburb. His vacation dream was a far cry from where he had ended up.

  He remained gagged throughout the day, feeling like every moment lingered on forever. Every second felt like endless torture. He tried not to think about the bothersome object in his mouth. All the nerves in his mouth felt like the gag was some huge stone that settled in it, and he had to lie there and simply ignore it, not think about it, not at all. Focus on something else. Think of something else. Breathe. He could breathe. Think about breathing. He managed to breathe every so often. But he felt the presence of the intruder in his mouth again and again and protested it. Then he focused and calmed down once more… Don’t think…breathe…

  In the evening, Shira approached him and took him to the bathroom. Ben went through a similar ritual to the one of the day before, but since she didn’t remove the mouthpiece, she didn’t brush his teeth.

  He moved his head and jaw and exposed his teeth.

  “You want me to brush your teeth?” She got the hint.

  He nodded.

  “But you have a gag, and if I remove it, you won’t let me put it back in.”

  He shook his head.

  “You’ll let me?”

  He nodded.

  “Let me think about it. I’ll decide by the time I finish shaving you.” She had already experienced difficulty while shaving Ben with the gag in his mouth, so she needed to concentrate and work carefully.

  He tried to cooperate as much as possible to prove to her that he had good intentions.

  “All right, fine,” she finally said.

  Shira released the strap and slowly removed the gag. Ben moved his jaws around. A sense of relief spread in his body.

  She brushed his teeth thoroughly and even used dental floss. She finished by rinsing his mouth with mouthwash.

  “Spit in here.” She brought him a small bowl.

  He spat and felt better.

  “Okay, open your mouth, and I’ll put it back in.”

  He couldn’t conceive of that wretched instrument being shoved back in his mouth. He was so terrified that he instinctively tightened his lips and shook his head.

  “It’s a shame. You had an opportunity to earn my trust and you blew it,” she said, slightly disappointed. “Perhaps you don’t understand that if I decide you should be gagged, then you will be.” She pulled him from the chair and yanked the chain connected to his collar toward the floor.

  He wasn’t able to resist the weight on his neck, and his head was dragged until he was forced to lie on the bathroom floor, his head tight against the groove in the floor where the metal loop was attached. She connected the second-to-last link of the chain to the loop using another clasp.

  “Will you let me put the gag back in your mouth?”

  He kept his mouth shut and shook his head.

  “Then you’ll stay like that until it goes back in your mouth one way or another.”

  He didn’t move.

  “You’ll be left to sleep he
re tonight.” She insisted on explaining the consequences.

  No response.

  She sighed and left the bathroom. Ben remained glued to the floor. It was cold.

  In the late hours of the night, when Shira was already asleep in her warm bed in the studio, Ben’s voice was heard calling her from the bathroom.

  “Shira! Shira! Come! Get me out of here!”

  She woke up, got out of bed slowly, put on her pink, fluffy slippers, and walked heavily, sleepily toward the bathroom.

  Ben stayed where she had left him, but he had changed his mind. “Okay, okay, just get me out of here,” he said when he heard her enter the room.

  “Will you cooperate?”

  “Yes, yes. It’s cold in here.”

  “Open your mouth,” she said quietly.

  He had no choice but to do as she said. Shira inserted the gag and fastened it with the straps at the back of his neck. The object’s bitter taste flooded him with feelings of misery and self-pity.

  “Good,” she said tiredly, and sat down next to him. To his dismay, she was in no hurry to release him from the floor. “Now let’s see… You spoke a lot, you were supposed to wear the gag until eleven in the morning, but you went without it for a few hours, you woke me up, and above all, you broke my trust. I will remove it tomorrow night, and even that is very generous of me.”

  He exhaled in frustration.

  She left the room and came back with a blanket. She covered him.

  “You’re sleeping here tonight.”

  He went wild again.

  “And not another word! Or you won’t eat for three days!”

  Ben became silent. Shira went back to sleep.

  DAY 4

  Ben’s new situation was in such contrast to his lifestyle that he fell into a state of shock. On the fourth day, he chose to no longer be present. In the morning, Shira entered the bathroom and found him lying on the floor like a ragdoll. He responded to nothing, not even when he heard her enter.

  She released him from the chain that was hooked to the floor and connected him to the one in her hand. After she helped him freshen up in the bathroom, she led him to the mattress and hooked him to the long chain. When his feet touched the mattress, he lay down on it and didn’t move again.