Broken Pieces (Broken Series)

by B. E. Laine

He finds me standing in front of the mirror in the bathroom. I went and bought a new black dress with three-quarter length sleeves. Although, I know I will still freeze. It has a fitted skirt that I have paired with plain black heels and black stockings.

  He is immaculately dressed in solid black dress pants and white shirt that he put a black jacket over. I know I shouldn’t be thinking like this right now but, damn, he looks good. “You look beautiful as always, baby.” He kisses the side of my head, as I meet his mournful eyes in the mirror.

  I give him a half-smile. “I’ll be right out.”

  He nods, leaving me standing here, wondering if I am strong enough to be here for him at this time. I am broken in so many ways, and he is the only reason I have not broken entirely down. Now that I have to be the strong one, I am apprehensive if I can.

  “I have to be,” I say in the mirror. I breathe in and blow it out. It does not matter if I am ready or not. It’s time.

  Drew opted for a graveside service, and my coat isn’t protecting me against the wind at all. It is the normal set up … those green tents with chairs, covered in more green, lined symmetrically underneath. He told me to choose the casket and flowers, considering that there was no one else besides him to do it. How do you choose something personal for somebody you did not know personally? I chose a pale pink with silver handles for her casket, and an arrangement of pink lilies with white roses. The setup is as beautiful as a rainbow on a rainy day.

  I am not paying much attention to the scenery. My eyes are focused on one single rip in the green artificial carpet they laid down to cover the ground. It looks like someone’s heel punctured it at one time or another. I am present and absent at the same time. I feel horrendous about not being able to take the pain from him during this time. It feels as though there should be something I could do to help him, but he assures me there isn’t.

  Not a moment too soon, the preacher announces a prayer to end the service. Afterward, we stand and Drew is greeted by distant family and friends. He introduces me to his mother’s cousin, I think. I’m not sure, everything is a blur. Drew says he would like to introduce me to one of his friends and the guy he told me about helping him at the center. That is when I hear the last voice I ever expected to hear.

  I turn in the hope that I heard wrong. There is no possible way that HE could be here. Drew places one hand at the small of my back and the other gesturing to his friend. Oh, my god. “Kara, I would like for you to meet Jeremy.”

  When my eyes come into contact with HIS, I gasp. I can’t breathe. Please tell me this is not happening. I think I may be sick. I can feel my world crashing down around me. I’m pretty sure I am supposed to be saying “Hello” to Drew’s friend, but this is the person I never wanted to see again. How am I ever going to tell Drew that his friend, the one he thinks so highly of, is the person that … I can’t even say it? I guess this proves I am not over it.

  When it registers to HIM who I am, he smirks. “Hello, Kara.”

  “Baby, are you okay?” Drew asks, concerned.

  I snap out of it. “Um … yes, I’m okay. Hello …” I can’t spit his name out of my mouth.

  Please don’t reach to shake my hand. Please don’t! He extends his hand; I really think I’m going to be sick. “I’m sorry, Drew. I’m going to the car. I’m suddenly not feeling well,” I spat and walk off.

  Why, out of all the guys, out of all the towns, out of all the fucking funerals?! What did I do to deserve this? No, I can’t cry. Drew will know something is wrong when he comes to check on me in a minute, which I know he will. I should have composed myself better. I do not want him to find out. It’s not fair to him to lose what I guess he would call a “good friend”.

  I am rushing, as fast as I can in heels, back to Drew’s car. The chilly air is not helping the tears that are already pricking in my eyes. I hug my coat to cover me more, or maybe I want it to make me disappear. I almost make it to his car when a rock causes me to stumble. This obviously is not my day. Then warm hands swiftly capture me, keeping me from face-planting onto the concrete.

  I jump back, trying to get out of the hold when I hear his voice. “Karaline?!” I instantly melt into him.

  He says nothing more, just holds onto me. I manage to compose myself. “I’m just going to call Lauren to come pick me up so you can stay and visit. I will call you later, okay?”

  “We can leave now if you’re not feeling well,” he argues.

  “No, you stay. There is family that you haven’t seen in forever. I will be okay.” I try to make my voice not waiver, but fail.

  He turns to look behind him, then back at me. “Okay, if you are sure you’re going to be okay?”

  I give him a flat smile and nod. I get my phone out and wave him off. I walk along the narrow paved road that runs through the cemetery, hearing the crunch of each distancing step. Drew is intently gazing at me so I wave and smile as best as I can. I turn away and dial the first person that comes to mind, and it is not Lauren. I can’t handle the questionnaire she will have for me right now.

  He answers on the second ring, “Kar? Are you okay?” I immediately relax, as the familiar voice comes through.

  “Can you do me a favor?” I say timidly.

  His responds without delay. “Of course.”

  I instruct Kace to drive to my apartment and retrieve my car, then tell him where I am at. Questions about why will be answered later. I knew what would happen if Drew saw his car arrive to get me instead of mine or Lauren’s. He appears not even ten minutes later. I quickly hop in the car, hoping Drew can’t see who is driving through the tint.

  “Take me far away from here,” I tell him, as I physically relax into the seats in my car. The familiar smell is comforting.

  He asks me if I want to go back to my apartment. I gave him a deranged look. I replied, “He knows where I live; he doesn’t know where you live.”

  He signals with his head that he understands. Kace has always understood me. He knows I need silence and to be away from Drew for a bit. Before Drew, he was the only person that remotely knew anything about my past. He never asked questions. He said him being here for me was more important than details. That never kept him from trying to pry, though.

  We arrive at the townhouse where he lives with two of his band members. It is a quaint little place, two story brick with a two-car garage. By looking at the outside, you would never guess that a bunch of rockers live here.

  He parks in the driveway, and we get out to make our way inside without a word. We walk in the front door and are greeted by the sounds of “Rock Band”. His roommates have friends over. This is definitely a bachelor pad. There are pizza boxes and beer bottles strewn all over the living room. The stench reminds me of boy’s locker room … foul. The rest of the room is bare, with nothing on the walls. I can just imagine what those inky leather couches have been through. I scrunch my nose in disgust, and look over at Kace. He shrugs his shoulders in apology and gestures up the stairs. The guys never even notice us.

  When I step into his room, I am taken back. From seeing the rest of the house, I expected his room to be the same. He takes care of his space better than his roommates. I also expected rock posters scattered across his walls, and black everything. Instead, I see taupe walls with a massive four poster mahogany-colored bed in the center of the room. There are deep burgundy curtains that match the bedspread. One wall is covered in exquisite guitars; the other wall has two doors that frame a flat screen TV.

  He motions for me to sit on the chestnut-colored leather couch at the foot of his bed. I sit on the edge, trying to see if I missed any more of my surroundings. He sits with ease, throwing one arm on the back of the couch.

  I really look at him for the first time today. His jet black hair is styled the Kace way, he has on his signature T-shirt and red flannel, and those jeans … nope, not going to look … yeah, he still fills them out nicely. My eyes roam back up to his smirking face, and I drop my head in shame. I should not be looki
ng at him in anyway, I have a boyfriend.

  “Why did you stop checkin’ me out for? I was thoroughly enjoying it.”

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I have a boyfriend, and we are friends. That was wrong of me.”

  “I didn’t mind it. So, do you want to talk about why I had to discreetly pick you up from a funeral today, or are we going to ignore that pretty pink elephant in the room?”

  I fall back into the lush couch and sigh. “Do I have to?” I poke my lip out and look up at him.

  That makes him laugh out loud. I have missed that laugh. I sit and admire the friend I have missed, until his long fingers come up to push my bottom lip in. Oh, my gosh. I probably looked like an idiot. However, that thought quickly disappears as his finger comes into contact with my lip. My breath catches as I stare into long amber-colored eyes.

  He moves towards me and I quickly sit up. “I’m sorry …”

  “No, it’s my fault.” He doesn’t act too sorry. “Would you like something to eat?”

  We walk back downstairs, passing the obnoxious guys in the living room on our way to the kitchen. We decide on simple subs; me a ham and cheese, while he opts for the turkey and Swiss. I make a gagging motion when he goes to put spicy mustard on his. He just laughs and nudges me with his shoulder. We figure if we take our food back upstairs, we might be able to eat in peace.

  As soon as we walk in the door to his room, I can hear my phone vibrating in my purse. Without looking, I know exactly who it is. I put my plate down and blow out a breath as I roll my eyes. I am really not ready to deal with this. Can’t I just hide from reality for a little while? I guess that is too much to ask, considering Drew has already called about ten times.

  “You don’t have to answer,” Kace says.

  “I can’t ignore life too much longer.”

  “Yeah, you can.” He takes my phone and turns it off.

  Oh, great. He will start calling Lauren when he can’t get ahold of me, then she will tell him that she did not come and pick me up. I glance at the clock; it won’t be long until he knows who picked me up. Maybe I can just ignore life for a night?

  Without the buzzing of my phone, I peacefully eat my sub while we watch some reality show. I feel so comfortable with Kace because I don’t need to pretend to be something I am not. He tells me stories about each guitar, from his very first to the one that he waited in line four hours to get signed by Van Halen. I just laugh, shaking my head. I feel thankful for having him, and for the break.

  I notice that it is getting dark out; time flew while we were catching up on what we have missed in the past few months. He asked me what happened the night of my graduation dinner, even though I tried to avoid that conversation. I told him everything, I mean everything! He was quiet for some time afterward, but eventually told me that he is not the person to judge me for my actions and that he just wants the best for me. Under the rock façade that he wears, Kace is a considerate person.

  While he had me on a role, he asked me about today. I pause, as I gaze up at the ceiling. We somehow moved from the couch to the floor. He is leaning his back against the couch, and I am laying down with my head in his lap. He used to always massage my scalp; it relaxes me.

  “The funeral we were at was Drew’s mother. The reason I called you was because one of his friends showed up.” I don’t divulge too much.

  “Okay … that does not seem like a reason to call someone you don’t even like to come pick you up,” he says, playful.

  “I just didn’t want to be there,” I say, hoping he’ll drop it.

  “Mhm … spill it!” He gives me a pointed look.

  “Drew’s friend ended up being … HIM.” Kace doesn’t know his name or details about what happened, just the basics.

  “What! Why didn’t you tell me when I picked you up that he was there?” He is acting like he’s mad at me.

  I move to a sitting position, looking down,”I’m sorry. I didn’t want to make a scene at the funeral.”

  “What did Drew say? Wait, does he know about …”

  “Yeah, he knows about my past. No, he does not know it’s his friend.”

  “Oh, fuck. You know that when he finds out he is going to flip, right? Well, he better because if it was me …” He lets that one trail off, and I don’t argue. I don’t want to have that conversation.

  I try to go a different direction. “It is getting late so I better go.”

  I move to stand, but he grasps my hand. “Stay.”

  “I want to, but I should go deal with walking out on my boyfriend’s mother’s funeral. Gosh, now that I say it out loud, I feel horrible.”

  “No, you’re not, and one night of no drama might help clear your head. Look, I’ll sleep on the couch and you can have the whole bed to yourself.” He is practically begging. How can I say no to that face? I am really too soft-hearted.

  “Okay, fine.” I fall back to the floor.

  “Do you want to change? I have some T-shirts and sweats that I think you could fit into.”

  I walk into his bathroom, which is too clean for a male, especially a rock star in the making. It has all the typical features, though. I change into a black AC/DC shirt and roll my eyes. This is so Kace. When I go to put the sweats on, I realize I still have my “girly panties” on. Shit, I don’t want to ask him for a pair of his boxers.

  This is beyond humiliating, “Hey, Kace.” I lean my head around the edge of the door.

  He jumps up, “Yeah? Do they not fit?”

  “Um … yeah, they do. It’s just that I dressed in all dressy clothes today …” I can feel the heat rising on my face.

  “Just tell me what you need, Kar.” He is so impatient.

  “Uh, some boxers?” I mumble, as I turn my head away.

  “Some what? I didn’t hear you.”

  “I need boxers!” I bark at him.

  He obviously finds this humorous. “I heard. I just wanted to make you say it again.”

  I gawk at him and, before thinking of what I am wearing, I lunge at him, tackling him to the floor. I grab his wrists, placing them above his head as I straddle him. The one thing I managed to forget was that I have his shirt on and a very thin lacy thong … and that is it.

  “Why must you be so mean to me? Tell me now, or I will never let you go!” I say with an old English accent. He arches a brow at me.

  He bucks me with his hips and, all of a sudden, he is sitting on my legs and leaning over me, holding my hands above my head. He leans down towards my face. “Oh, really now …,” he says, cocky.

  My ass is bare on his plush carpet, and he is lightly grazing my breast with his chest as he leans down. Then he rolls his hips into me, making me feel his hardness. The rough texture from his jeans on my lacy thong makes me instantaneously bow to him, closing my eyes. He leans down slowly, breathing his hot breath in my ear. “I’ve always wanted you, Kara.” He begins kissing below my ear and, for some reason, I don’t have anything in me to stop him. I know this is wrong. I need to stop him. Commotion from downstairs does it for me.

  “Fuck!” he says through a clenched jaw, as he jumps to his feet. I stand, find a pair of boxers, and retreat back into the bathroom. I throw the boxers and sweats on; they keep it freezing in this house. Then I hear an all too familiar voice.

  I rush down the stairs, only to skid to a stop, the carpet burning my feet. Drew is here, drunk and throwing a fit in Kace’s foyer. He is pointing a finger at Kace, “I know she’s here, and I know you picked her up!” Then he sees me.

  I notice the other band players standing around, not knowing what to do, so I try to calm the situation. “Drew, let’s go outside and talk.”

  I move down the last few steps when Kace gets in front of me. “Are you sure?”

  I inhale, nodding slightly. He hands me one of his jackets, and motions for me to put on his slippers. I see Drew out of the corner of my eyes shooting daggers at Kace. Oh, boy …

  When we are outside and far enough away from the
window so we cannot be heard, I say, “Look, I know you’re mad, but—”

  He cuts me off. “Yes! You are right about that! I am pissed! What girlfriend leaves their boyfriend at his own mom’s funeral?!”

  I feel selfish for the first time. Not once did I think of how my actions would affect Drew. I was only thinking of me. I am a horrible girlfriend. While I have my head down, wringing my hands, I mutter, “You’re right. I shouldn’t have left. I’m sorry.”

  He makes a frustrated sound. “No, that’s not what I meant. Why did you lie and say Lauren was picking you up?”

  “Because I knew that you wouldn’t like it if Kace did, and I didn’t wanna listen to Lauren’s inquisition at that specific time.”

  He blows out a breath and steps towards me, grasping my fidgety hands. “It doesn’t matter. Are you going to tell me what happened today?”

  I look up, meeting distressed eyes. How can I tell him his best friend is the person that damaged me? That took my dignity from me at a young age and, when I finally feel like I can have a life, he shows back up? He doesn’t just show back up, but is in the life of the person I love?

  My lip is quivering. “I can’t.” It kills me to say that.

  “What do you mean you can’t?” His voice beams with agitation, “TELL ME!”

  I jerk my hands away to cover my mouth. No, please, not now. Not the sickening feeling I get every time that night goes through my mind. I make it to the bushes at the side of garage before I spew everything. Drew is by my side. “Are you okay?” He holds my hair back until I finish hurling.

  I stand and wipe my mouth off with shaky hand. “Yeah, I told you I wasn’t feeling well today.”

  He doesn’t look convinced. “Are you sure it’s you not feeling well that’s the problem, or something else?” I look at him with wide eyes and shake my head.

  He runs his hand over his head and down his face as he shakes it. “Okay, will you come home with me then so I can take care of you?”

  “I’m not sure that I should.”

  “Well, I am sure that you don’t need to stay here.” He places his hands on his hips propping one leg in front of the other.